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nuts4.jpg
Mystery Nuts
Anonymous
vPzPk
?
No.60316
60318 60319 60321 60323 60324 60327 60367 60495 61609
This thread continues the ongoing RP/Shitposting game. Its based on D&D 3.5e core rules with exceptions made for just about anything. Its essentially a play-by-shitpost RPG with structural additions. Games get hairy on Saturdays, but weekends in general; weekdays are for meta and shitposting.

Most pressing of the situations is that involving Infernius, Trump, and Tracy; the former finds himself being surrounded by robots, while flying robots seem to have cut off his escape. As nimble as Uatchit is, his situation doesn't look good. Trump has fled outside the Cardashil wall, and his pursuit disengaged to secure the perimeter of the city. In short, Cardashil is now a Panopticon. Meanwhile, Tracy - er, a praying mantis who is clearly identifiable as Frank (or any of 3 other identities) - is amongst a throng headed for the teleportation gates along the perimeter of the park area.
Oh yes, and those grenades. One of the robots has char marks and scraping on it.

Meanwhile Stix, Torcuil, Snek, and Thez are having an otherwise constructive conversation in the Tower.
1113 replies and 110 files omitted.
Anonymous
vPzPk
?
No.61388
61389 61390
>>61385
I could see doing some development tonight, but nothing hairy till tomorrow preferred
Mrs. Sentry
BXH7v
?
No.61389
61391
>>61388
Can we get a response from That Bitch and the crowd?
Anonymous
28InT
?
No.61390
61392
>>61388
Fair enough
>Waits for Death to talk
Anonymous
vPzPk
?
No.61391
61393
>>61389
Uhhh, yes,... but could I get either a quick rundown or a post number? Otherwise it will take me a minute.
Anonymous
vPzPk
?
No.61392
61394
>>61390
THanks for reminding me
Mrs. Sentry
BXH7v
?
No.61393
61395
>>61391
Uh..
>>61029
>>61027
>>61053
Anonymous
28InT
?
No.61394
>>61392
No problem faggot
Anonymous
vPzPk
?
No.61395
>>61393
KEK
I forgot about that. Alright then
>gets to scripting
Anonymous
vPzPk
?
No.61396
61397 61399 61412
Alright now.

In response to Tracy and Trump's display, That Bitch smiles cleverly.
"What a marvelous display,... but you must realize, we're all performers more or less."

Meanwhile, Torcuil and Death's waiter has difficulty getting their order right. Apparently he is somehow put off by Death's aura.
Of COURSE death has an aura
Mrs. Sentry
BXH7v
?
No.61397
61398
>>61396
Bet they've never seen a monster truck that could do backflips tho.
"Vroooooooooom, VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!"
Anonymous
vPzPk
?
No.61398
61400
>>61397
Am I assuming Tracy is doing backflips then?
Anonymous
yM5Fv
?
No.61399
>>61396
"surely you don't think we came here merely to perform? We have more for you"

Givs the dialogue about branding in >>61027
The monster truck settles down and comes nearer that Bitch. The orangutan walks out in the coolest walk ever seen in a primate, like he already owns the world. "Hey now. My name ain't important, but my business is. You see, I hear you in the business of being fabulous, and I'm looking for some one to sell my brand. I got branches accross two cities, and we're expanding further. Selling everything from T Shirts to live entertainment. Got a whole league going. And I'm bettin' you could hook me up with some talent."

He gives her a charming look and approaches closer, letting her league of guards know just how awesome he is. "But if you're buyin', boy I got reality TV shows like you wouldn't believe. Tell me now, how many minorities - orangutan's like myself, you got hostin' TV series? What's your best ratings on those? Boi, you ain't got nothing like the splended crowds I draw over yonder, that I can tell you."

*acts charming*


Mrs. Sentry
BXH7v
?
No.61400
61401
>>61398
Yes she made a tumble check earlier.
Mrs. Sentry
BXH7v
?
No.61401
61402
>>61400
She got a 34.
Anonymous
vPzPk
?
No.61402
61403 61404 61405
>>61401
K, that'll work
"Not the first backflipping monster truck we've had here, but you have a bit of style. Let's talk," she says, gesturing toward a more open and less populated area of the park.
Mrs. Sentry
BXH7v
?
No.61403
>>61402
>Not the first backflipping monster truck we've had here
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Anonymous
yM5Fv
?
No.61404
61406
>>61402
Any response to questions about buying branding or advertising? Should I roll something?
Mrs. Sentry
BXH7v
?
No.61405
61408
>>61402
*picks up brad*
*drives towards open area*
Anonymous
vPzPk
?
No.61406
61407 61408
>>61404
Thats why she's inviting both to converse
Mrs. Sentry
BXH7v
?
No.61407
61410
>>61406
Shit, did she just address Tracy directly?
Anonymous
yM5Fv
?
No.61408
61409
>>61405
>>61406
*Acts like a cool as fuck black man*
Mrs. Sentry
BXH7v
?
No.61409
61453
>>61408
Don't compare orangutans to niggers.
Anonymous
vPzPk
?
No.61410
61411
>>61407
Yes
Mrs. Sentry
BXH7v
?
No.61411
61413
>>61410
[nervous monster truck noises]
28InT
?
No.61412
61414
[1d20+5 = 13]
>>61396
And they left and saw Stix, and Snek went with him.
"Do you like superior siege weaponry?" Torc inquires

And Snek makes a spot check for Stix's dagger
Anonymous
yM5Fv
?
No.61413
>>61411
"Everyone's nervous before their first contract, girl. The experience is exiting, nerve-wracking, and over way too quick. Like the first time you have sex. You'll be fine girl"
Anonymous
vPzPk
?
No.61414
61415 61435
>>61412
I wasn't done narrating that bit,...
Oh FFS, Stix has his dagger!
Anonymous
28InT
?
No.61415
61416
>>61414
...
Sorry
Anonymous
vPzPk
?
No.61416
61418 61428
>>61415
No need to apologize, its just minutiae
Mrs. Sentry
BXH7v
?
No.61417
61419
*rolls into next area*
How many follow them?
Anonymous
28InT
?
No.61418
61419 61420
>>61416
What would me the spellcraft DC to cast modify memory?
Anonymous
vPzPk
?
No.61419
61421 61422
>>61417
A handful of those soldier-looking guys
>>61418
I'm not sure I follow
Mrs. Sentry
BXH7v
?
No.61420
>>61418
Only Assassins and Bards get that.
I shouldn't have taken those BG levels...
Anonymous
28InT
?
No.61421
>>61419
Can I make a spellcraft check to get a one time cast of modify memory?
>Wants bard levels harder
Anonymous
yM5Fv
?
No.61422
61423
>>61419
1. did she start off with any business professional looking people around (agents, lawyers, whatever) and 2. are any of them following?
Anonymous
vPzPk
?
No.61423
61424 61425
>>61422
Yes, I just mentioned that. She has a group of guard looking types, in case you guys get murder-hobo
Anonymous
yM5Fv
?
No.61424
>>61423
You mentioned she brought guards, I just want to know if she had people who would be relevant to business work but then did not bring them along
Mrs. Sentry
BXH7v
?
No.61425
61426
>>61423
How many?
What kind of weapons?
Anonymous
vPzPk
?
No.61426
61427 61428
>>61425
None apparent
Wasn't planning on making this a combat scenario FTR
Mrs. Sentry
BXH7v
?
No.61427
>>61426
okay...
yM5Fv
?
No.61428
61429 61430
>>61416
To The Lady
"We in two cities now. We lookin' to expand. But I needs branding for that. Now you see I can do more than a bit of that myself, but I have meetings to go to and board rooms to attend. I can't do all of it myself. That's what we need here."

>>61426
DON'T SPOIL THAT. Make it ambiguous as to whether we 1. are about to sign an awesome contract or 2. have been found out and will be murdered
\r
Anonymous
vPzPk
?
No.61429
61434 61437
>>61428
>spoil
"Well I'm willing to listen to your proposal," she says coyly
Mrs. Sentry
BXH7v
?
No.61430
>>61428
Non-combat doesn't necessarily mean not in trouble.
Anonymous
vPzPk
?
No.61431
61432 61433
I just mean, if Tracy starts stabbing it will be difficult
Anonymous
yM5Fv
?
No.61432
>>61431
I take that as a given
Mrs. Sentry
BXH7v
?
No.61433
>>61431
..okay....
Anonymous
yM5Fv
?
No.61434
61436
>>61429
"You see now I'm runnin' a conglomerate. I'm lookin' to buy and to sell. I'm with a sports association. Broadcast in hundreds of homes o'er in Port Barry and Sparintenar. But I also got partial ownership in a half dozen other industries or so. Steak houses, Leather hand bags, even paper. Now, we can and do use our own sports programming to help our other industries. but I'm lookin' to diversify. Decouple the two. So I need performers to merchandize leather bags. I need television shows to advertise in. Movies to place our steaks in. Hell, I need performers to play at half time. Now not all at once, I think you can tell, but I'm lookin' for... closer relations"
Anonymous
73pjI
?
No.61435
>>61414
Not sure what gets you upset at me not knowing that. Especially when I said I didn’t have it like two weeks ago and you said nothing to me
Anonymous
vPzPk
?
No.61436
61437
>>61434
"It sounds like you're negotiating from a position of weakness then," she says with a smirk
Anonymous
yM5Fv
?
No.61437
61447
>>61429
"I think I'm bein' a bit too broad here. A bit too much all at once. Let me be more specific. I'm'a have an opening of the branch in Sparinenar real soon. Those boys down there would appreciate a good half time show. Got any one who could perform?"

>>61436
"You think you've got the only entertainers on this continent? Just my trusty Steed alone could probably do better than half of 'em"
Anonymous
BXH7v
?
No.61438
61440
>"Can I kill her now?"
Anonymous
BXH7v
?
No.61439
[vrooooom vroooom!]
Anonymous
yM5Fv
?
No.61440
61442 61444
>>61438
>"NO PONY"
Anonymous
BXH7v
?
No.61441
61446
It'd be a stretch to juggle and do backflips at the same time while disguised, wouldn't it?
Anonymous
BXH7v
?
No.61442
61443
>>61440
>"Awwwww..."
Anonymous
yM5Fv
?
No.61443
61445
>>61442
*pats monster truck*
Anonymous
BXH7v
?
No.61444
>>61440
>"Awwwww..."
Anonymous
BXH7v
?
No.61445
>>61443
[Happy truck noises]
Anonymous
BXH7v
?
No.61446
>>61441
I guess a monster truck wouldn't be able to juggle.
Anonymous
vPzPk
?
No.61447
61448 61450
>>61437
"The only ones worth mention, yes."
Anonymous
yM5Fv
?
No.61448
61449
>>61447
"Oh really now? What'cha got for us"
Anonymous
vPzPk
?
No.61449
61450
>>61448
"I didn't say they were for you, I said we have them. You must be new here."
Anonymous
yM5Fv
?
No.61450
61451
>>61447
"Why ain't you got the Sparintenar market cornered? When I got there they were craving the beautiful Brunet performer with a .45 from a space nazi empire"

>>61449
"I did say I was from o'er yonder, didn't I?"
Anonymous
vPzPk
?
No.61451
61452
>>61450
"We don't deal with Sparintenar, Emperor's orders."
Anonymous
yM5Fv
?
No.61452
>>61451
"Now who do you deal with?"

Trumpaladin begins to ponder if he needs a lawyer to examine all of the relevant regulations
Anonymous
Llvh5
?
No.61453
61454
>>61409
This.orangutans can actually be taught stuff.
Anonymous
vPzPk
?
No.61454
61455
>>61453
Like paintings
doesn't have the meme, but you know it, the Irobot one, its on the board
Anonymous
yM5Fv
?
No.61455
61456
>>61454
Um.... Trumpaladin asks where Cardishore is legally permitted to sell its talent
Anonymous
vPzPk
?
No.61456
61457 61458
>>61455
"Don't concern yourself with that, trade secrets and all." she says with a wink. "So tell me, and don't be shy,... when did you break in?"
Anonymous
28InT
?
No.61457
>>61456
F
yM5Fv
?
No.61458
61459
>>61456
"Hard to say. Bout 30 minutes ago or so. Didn't go through security since I don't trust being disarmed. Wanted to see what was going on myself. Heard you say you were robbed by the same folks who robbed us a couple weeks back though"

Takes a few steps towards Tracy
\r
Anonymous
vPzPk
?
No.61459
61460
>>61458
"You must realize Mr. Trump, your reputation preceeds you," she says, waving her arm lazily. "And yes, there have been incidents. What of it? You have no jurisdiction here or elsewhere in the Empire, and even talking to you could be disastrous. I would be well within my position to have you executed you know."
Anonymous
yM5Fv
?
No.61460
61461
>>61459
Trumpaladin now moves forward, and leans in towards the Lady

"You're afraid of him too, aren't you?"
Anonymous
vPzPk
?
No.61461
61462
>>61460
"Afraid? Heavens no! Cardashil does more than its due diligence in appeasing the emperor." she laughs
Anonymous
yM5Fv
?
No.61462
61463
>>61461
"Does the Emperor do the same to appease Cardashil?"
Anonymous
vPzPk
?
No.61463
61464 61470
>>61462
"If you mean allowing us to operate without interference, then yes."
Anonymous
yM5Fv
?
No.61464
61465
>>61463
"How do you operate, exactly? I've only gotten a bit of feel for the place"
Anonymous
vPzPk
?
No.61465
61466
>>61464
"Again, trade secrets. We have contracts and agents all over the world. Cardashil is a household name, you should know."
Anonymous
yM5Fv
?
No.61466
61476 61479 61506
>>61465
"Anyways, I guess I may as well be frank with you. We only want two things. Our rogue came by here around a month ago. When she did so, she checked in several items with security, mostly various daggers and an efficient quiver. She would really like those back. And earlier today, you saw our Bull come in and give a performance... and was promptly burnt to a crisp by the guarding robots. I can't say he's the brightest. Anyways, we would like his corpse back, and his equipment. We saw it scooped up by cleaning robots and carried off through the gate. I'd like the chance to resurrect those 4 hipsters our rogue caused to die as well. This is all we want, nothing further.

But I imagine you're more interested in what we can do for you. Now, your museum was broken into, correct? How would you like to find those bastards, track 'em down to the source, and have them all exterminated? And to have your stolen goods back as well. Or to say the same better, how would you like it if we did the work for you? We'd love the chance to get back the gold they stole from us. All we need is more leads on their location, then we can do the rest.

And if you're looking to defy the emperor's prohibitions on performing in Sparintenar, that offer is still on the table"
yM5Fv
?
No.61470
61476 61506
[1d20+27 = 44]
>>61463
I'm'a try a sense motive on her statements about tolerating the Emperor
Anonymous
vPzPk
?
No.61476
>>61466
>>61470
Yeah, I know, I neglected to respond but I'll do tomorrow
Anonymous
vPzPk
?
No.61477
*today
Mrs. Sentry
BXH7v
?
No.61478
61480
Sorry. I fell asleep.
Mrs. Sentry
BXH7v
?
No.61479
>>61466
REEEEEEEEE don't tell her!
Anonymous
Ds3Dm
?
No.61480
61481 61482 61515
image-27_20180323083008965.jpg
>>61478
>reeeeee i gotta go see my poo in loo doctor.

>pic related reminds me of better days
Mrs. Sentry
BXH7v
?
No.61481
>>61480
In my defense, it was half past midnight where I am.
Mrs. Sentry
BXH7v
?
No.61482
61483
>>61480
Vril was never that great at GET-sniping.
Anonymous
Ds3Dm
?
No.61483
61484
>>61482
I actually kind of miss vrill.
Mrs. Sentry
BXH7v
?
No.61484
61485 61486
>>61483
Me too...
He didn't deserve all the crap they gave him for being a "flagfag". It kind of makes me wish I'd said more to encourage him..
Anonymous
Ds3Dm
?
No.61485
>>61484
That started go come after me, but i told them to fuck off and so did everyone else.
I actually wish i would have defended him to.
Anonymous
28InT
?
No.61486
61487
>>61484
Flag-fags ftw
Anonymous
Ds3Dm
?
No.61487
>>61486
This
T.nazboy
Mrs. Sentry
BXH7v
?
No.61488
61489 61492 61493
>"I can kill her now, right?"
Anonymous
28InT
?
No.61489
>>61488
>1488 get
Can't argue with that
BXH7v
?
No.61490
61491
[1d20+25 = 37]
Sleight of Hand to conceal kunai.
Mrs. Sentry
BXH7v
?
No.61491
>>61490
Forgot to add the +2 modifier for wearing a cloak.
Anonymous
yM5Fv
?
No.61492
>>61488
>"Pony, I'm trying to make a deal... be ready for me to get on your back if shit goes down"
Anonymous
vPzPk
?
No.61493
61494 61495
>>61488
Do you mind?
Mrs. Sentry
BXH7v
?
No.61494
61496
>>61493
I was RP-ing her usual response. I didn't actually intend to kill her.
Anonymous
28InT
?
No.61495
>>61493
Poor GM