/vx/ - Videogames and Paranormal

Except for Trump, who for some reason thinks that attacking Thez is a good idea (as though he didn't notice she's a Devil).

Luckily for the both of them, his sword bounces harmlessly off some form of invisible barrier in front of her.
"Sorry, did you want some?" she offers Trump some of Barry's face.

>>2959
>repeating last post

>Barry
DAMN IT ALLEN
STOP
FUCKING
THE TIME LINE

>>2965
>Allen?
Wait, what's wrong with killing Barry? If you knew him, you'd want to eat his face too.

So yeah. Last thread hit bump limit, so here we are. We don't have to start yet, I just had to eat Barry's face. I'll probably do it again before the night is over.

>Implying Trump ever suspected her to be anything other than a devil
*Trump looks over to Tracy*
Little blue pony, you have lead a life full of wickedness and sin. But today is the day you redeem yourself. Help me slay this demon in our midst
*looks to torcil*
Good man, you too may be of great service to justice and to the universe. Seal this demon, and send her back to the hell from whence she came!

>>2970
>Good man, you too may be of great service to justice and to the universe. Seal this demon, and send her back to the hell from whence she came!
Nah, I'm good

>>2970
"Eh, heheh.. If that's what you're going to do, Flashy, then I guess I'll be by your side.."
*draws knife*
*hugs leg*

No, OP tries to compensate for restaurants that can't give accurate times on takeout orders. ~_~

So then, Trump, are you SURE this is what you want to do? I mean, I can roll with it,....

>>2979
Well, he's a twat for starters,....

>>2982
"A twat? Explain yourself Demon! I am as dead as you are. I can keep up as long as love of football fills my heart!"

>>2972
"Can you at least help get this pony off of me?"

>>2983
NOPE
>>2985
GM Can I use some Thot-b-gone on tracy?

>>2985
Thez chuckles.
"Better. I though I'd have to thump you just for trying to give me orders! Barry, well he's an insufferable bastard of amazing proportion. He regularly and consistently falls short of his job expectations, knowing that he won't have to pick up the slack nor will be disciplined for it. He is a burden on those around him, is utterly contemptible, and he has bad breath.

[1d20 = 6]
>>2985
As for the pony, hmmmm. There might be something I could try,....

>>2985
>[leg-humping intensifies]
>>2986
Fucking try it! I dare you!

[1d20 = 3]
Thez's tail whips out and grazes Tracy's shoulder drawing a thin line of blood.
Tracy begins to lose coordination and is having trouble standing.
"Oh dear me, you don't look so good. Here, let me help you."
Thez grabs Tracy by the shoulders. I'm assuming Tracy is attempting to resist?

>>2987
*Trump lowers his shield from protecting his chest section to protecting his legs*
"Folly thinking you could every thump the Trump. Tell me, what job expectations does he fall short of?"

>>2989
Pic related
>>2990
I just stand aside, hoping to not get dragged into this

>>2990
*grabs leg with all four limbs*
>Glare_so_murderous_that_I_cant_find_the_reaction_image_that_illustrates_it.jpg

[1d20 = 10]
>>2991
You really want me to explain the finer detail don't you?
>>2993
"Odd, that usually works. Hmmm. Oh, duh!"

>>2992
"Damn it man, Football is a team sport. It requires work as a team!"

Thez hits Tracy in the lower back (stunning fist) and she momentarily becomes stunned (meaning, she drops anything she's carrying and lets go of anything she's holding.
"You should be thankful, normally when I poison people, I rape them, but I'm not feeling it right now."

>>2994
"If ye be of anything other than vile stock, yes"

>>2997
"Oh, I never said I WAS anything other than vile stock, but you can rest assured that he had it coming."

>>2998
I guess that's what I need to know

>>2999
Tracy chips a tooth. Nice trips tho.
>>3000
"Are we still gonna fight?" she asks excitedly.

>>3001
Thez helps Tracy to her feet. Then looks back at Trump.
"Are we?" she appears behind him. "Are we?" She appears upside down, in mid air, sitting indian style in front of him. "Are we are we are we??" she beams.

[1d20 = 13]
>>3002
*Trump casts DEFENSE for Tracy*
"Tell me she demon, are we?"

"YAY" She assumes a curious stance, her knees bent outward to the sides, her hands by her face in the posture of a peace sign. On her face she adopts a goofy expression and starts drooling bubbles.

"Take all the time to prepare that you need," she says with the same wide-eyed, goofy expression.

>>3005
Trump is now confused

>>3007
Are you kidding? Thez LOVES to fight, but doesn't often fight things that can survive more than one hit. Because of Trump's level and experience, he can. Maybe even two! But he doesn't know any of this.

*doesn't often get the chance to....

>>3008
Trump knows he is dead. And that which is dead, may never die

>>3010
Oh, and if you're confused about her stance,... that's Crab-style.

*hobbles to feet and pull another knife out of seemingly-infinite knife-cozy, with maw*
>>3010
>*spoons*

K, so Trump is buffed with OFFENSE and has his sword and shield ready, while Tracy is now brandishing three knives and has DEFENSE enabled. Thez still has a funny look on her face, is still drooling bubbles, and hasn't moved other than her eyes occasionally shifting back and forth from Trump to Tracy.

>>3014
>still staying off to side
Anyone got food?

Some of the guards on the wall have taken notice of the scene, but they seem more entertained that alarmed or concerned.

>>3014
not yet
*hobbles to hind legs and pulls out two more autistic movie props out of knife-cozy*
".. A little poison won't stop me. I've shrugged-off more blood-born infections than you could count..!"

>>3014
Trump readies a HEAL spell, to be used either for himself or for Tracy as necessary

"Blue Pony, do you wish to impress me? Then help me take down this she demon!"

Trump lurches forth not to land an attack, but to see how Thez responds, and to encourage her to make a move

>>3015
"There's still some of Barry's face,...."

>>3018
"..Unf..!
*doki doki*

[1d20 = 16]
With one of her peace signs, Thez grabs Trump's sword by the blade.

... and holds it firmly.

>>3017
The poison only lasted for a few minutes by the way, you're back to normal.

>>3019
Ewww, I meant real food
>>3017
"Like HIV?" Torcuil scoffs

>>3018
Trump is personally convinced that Thez is actually the one holding him hostage in the game, that he is actually immortal, and that he can defeat her in open combat, but thinks that there is a better place and time to do this

Trump smiles, as if to acknowledge the sexual innuendo of her grabbing his sword. "Very well, please forgive my impropriety. Years in the service have made me a bit suspicious"

"blue pony, I spoke too quickly. You may stand down"

"Awwww,...." Thez is disappointed. "Well shucks."

>>3026
I still want some actually food

>>3024
"If it's a disease, I'm already immune to it, by now."

She looks at the soldiers standing watch. "What the hell are you staring at??" she shouts, before realizing she's still all purple and nude and such. "Whoopsie!"
she says before putting her mask back on. The guards exchange glances before one steps away from the wall and out of sight.

>>3026
With this response, Trump is disappointed in his not taking an opportunity for a learning experience, but he continues onwards to the city

>>3027
"Torucil, may we speak in private?"

>>3025
*puts away knives*

>>3030
Eh why not?

"I assume you mean cooked food, so yeah we should probably check this place out," she says before following behind. "I hope there's a brothel,...."

Feel free to talk amongst yourselves as I describe.
As the group approaches the gate, you can see a sign that says "Welcome to Port City! A port city that would have a much better name if Barry wasn't such a douche and causing others to compensate for his lack of discipline and professionalism."
The city its self is several miles long and wide. Trade shops, lodging and services, and a bustling bazaar are all located near the entrance to the City, while residential and governmental is further back.

>>3032
"I can cover you if you are want for money when we get to a pub..."
*looks to make sure Thez is not listening, then whispers*
"So as you know, we are in some sort of limbo in the afterlife. This one here, Thez, is a real demon. She could only be an agent of those keeping us from reaching the green fields of Mile High. We are already dead, and so we cannot die here. But if we could injure that demon - disable her for long enough - we can escape the trance she has left us in, and from those malevolent entities that seek to keep us enthralled, and to our Valhalla of Sports Authority Field"\r

>>3036
*Trump begins to wonder if Barry really did have it coming*

Situated near the entrance to the city is a booth that says "Information center", and standing at the booth is this guy. Thez wanders over to ask for directions.

>>3037
>I thought I was talking to Thez
Can we do names now?
AANNYYWWWAAAYYY
Eh idk
tell you the truth I don't remember much Before(tm)
Possible? Yes
Likely? eh

>>3043
I'm really fucking confused

Thez addresses the big-nosed fellow. "Excuse me man,... does this down have, like, prostitutes? I'm asking for a friend."

>>3043
If this explanation had been given, Trump would have immediately put down his sword. But he's a Paladin, so he wasn't going to let a face of a seemingly innocent person be ripped off without comment
>>3042
I am banned from using the namefield by Atlas. No really, I am
>>3042
"Don't you see? We are being held prisoner here in this dimension"
>>3039
Trump feels as if he recognizes the man as an ally
\r

>>3046
"I'm sorry sir, but there is a 5 shekel charge for information," he chuckles and rubs his hands.
"5 shekels for directions? What kinda town is this?"
"I told you, its 5 shekels for information," he continues to rub his hands together.

>>3047
Appreciated, but the way the dialogue was worded Thez wasn't about to comply. She has her pride you know,.... ^_~
>banned
LMAO

>>3048
>Slides in, tripping on rock
I've got 25 shekels for a full Q&A of how ever many questions you want
>>3047
>banned
KEK
EEE
KEK
HOW?

>>3050
*we
not *you

>>3050
Yes, yes of course. Anything for you my good goy,... er I mean, honored traveler. What can I help you with?
"He says holding out his hand expectingly."

>>3052
>I signal discreetly to Thez that they are indeed fake shekels
Ask away Thez...
>Hands over 25

>>3051
Thez, in Urri form, leans over to Torcuil and whispers: "Ask him where the hoes at."

>>3050
>>3049
something something "must post under anonymous or name and capcode NO EXCEPTIONS" was the rule. Something about starting drama
>>3052
"Good sir, could you tell us where we are?"

>>3054
Excuse me goy, but
BITCH WHERE DA HOES AT

>>3053
Thez wasn't expecting that. "Oh,... here man," and hands the shekels to the fellow. "So yeah, I was like, wondering if there's like, prostitutes in this town. I mean you've got lots of sailors so I figured,...." she trails off as the fellow busies himself inspecting the coin. Its of an unfamiliar type (to him) so he carefully pours over ever detail, completely ignoring Thez.
"Uhm," she says as he starts pulling out a pair of scales and a water glass.
"Yes yes, just a moment."

[1d20 = 18]
>>3058
Oh fuck
I roll to meme the scales

He impatiently points toward the government buildings, not even looking up from his task. Using a couple of weights, he measures the weight of the coins. He narrows his eyes at this, and then marks the glass of water with a spot of grease, and then drops one of the coins into the glass.

>>3059
nice timing and roll
After marking the glass a second time, he then pours the indicated water into yet another glass, with measurements on the side. The whole process complete, he smiles.
"Yes of course, what was it you wanted again?"
Thez meanwhile, immediately starts off for the whores.

>>3060
"So where exactly are we?"

>>3061
Library and food?

"This city is an open port servicing all manner of mercenary and entrepreneurial operations he means pirate town. People come from all over to sell their stolen,... I mean totally legitimately acquired goods and exchange them with others or for services, which are available aplenty".

>>3063
He chuckles at the mention of a library. "Oy vey no, there is no demand for books here, other than as black market, I mean commodity trading."

>>3064
"Where could the ships in the port take me?"

>>3065
Food?
Also where is this "Commodity Trading?"

>>3064
"Tell me... Do you know where I could buy a bolter?"

"For food there are several Inns that provide the finest kosher meals. The Sticky Wicket is our most popular, while the Rusty Duck has the finest service."

>>3069
And Commodity Trading?

>>3068
"Yes, there is a stable just outside the city, on the opposite side of the entrance you came from."

>>3070
He begins to chuckle and rub his hands some more.
"Commodities. Why yes, we have all manner of commoditites, and if you don't, we can acquire them! Is there anything in particular you are in the market for?"

>>3071
"To be clear, you mean a Gyrojet weapon?"

>>3072
>speaks up
"Do you have cosplay in pony sizes?"

>>3072
Books on,
Memes

Another passerby approaches, looking curiously similar to the fellow at the booth.
"Excuse me, I'm looking for,... fish," he says placing 5 shekels on the counter, which the fellow sweeps up immediately.
"Yes of course! Would you like the usual fish, or are you looking for something more exotic?"
"I'm thinking something more exotic."
"Of course! The price will be 500 shekels, cash up front."
"A pleasure doing business with you," he says depositing a phat bag of coin on the counter which also immediately disappears into the booth-guy's ready hands.
"Your goods will be delivered to your room," he calls after.
>>3073
"Gyrojet? I've never heard of such a thing. Memes? What is a meme? Meme, meme,... such a strange word."
>>3074
His eye twitches at the thought of cosplay. "Ahhhh, a connoisseur I see. What type of costume are you looking for. Will you need any accessories?"

>>3076
*Trumpaladin begins to suspect he may not have what he wants*
Tell me, do you know where I may acquire a Tavor TAR-21?

>>3076
Okay fine, Where do the pirates sell their stuff?

>>3075
He suddenly brightens, smiles, and looks again at Torcuil. "Oh, my mistake, I DO know of some mimi books you are talking about. I can arrange delivery if you would like. Cash up front of course."
>>3077
"Good goy! I will not tolerate such language! There are children present!"
>>3078
"Wares are available at the bazaar, as well as several of the shops that border it."

>>3076
"I could use a jacket-hoodie, spandex, fishnet-stockings, a garter belt, striped panties, a spiked dog-collar, anything latex, and fireproof boots. Could I find any of these items here?
I could also use a saddlebag."

>>3080
He begins hurriedly writing down the requested items.
"Yes, yes, of course. Will you be wanting a child for this,... expedition?" he winks 'knowingly'.

>>3079
>Thinks
Give me a minute to get my shekels
GM can I do alchemy?

>>3079
*Trumpaladin is baffled at this point*
"where are weapons sold and what is available?"

>>3082
Uhm,... do you have lab equipment on hand?

>>3084
Uh... no
Shit

>>3083
"Of course of course, there are two businesses that specialize in weapons, the Belligerent Gnome, and Previously Owned."

>>3081
*eyes hesitantly dart towards Trumpadin and back, in a torn, nervous frenzy*
"...I-I.. I-I'll... PASS on that...! *whispers*..For tonight..!"

>>3086
"Show me the way to the Belligerent Gnome! By the way, do you know where I can buy Thot-repellent and a new set of leather pants?"

>>3083
The Belligerent Gnome stocks the finest in masterwork and magically enhanced weapons and apparel, while Previously Owned specializes in 'previously owned' goods.

>>3089
He provides directions. its near the bazaar.

>>3090
I'll offer you 100 shekels for a meme book, just one. I can pick it up after I eat
Also I'll go to the Gnome
>>3089
>Not using the thot b gone spell

"Sir, as for the items you requested, the price is 50 shekels," he chuckles to himself.

>>3093
"Yes, yes, of course. Simply give me your shekels, and I will arrange to have your goods brought to you."

Oh, and he doesn't know about Thot spray. Sorry.

>>3093
>>3092
"Alright then! Off to the Gnome"
*Trumpaladin goes to the Gnome, waiting on Torucil intending to go with him*

>>3095
>throws 100 shekels
I want a big book, not some shitty one
>Follows Trump

>>3099
meant for >>3098

>>3099
Eh
I can kill him if he doesn't deliver
Or you could if ya want

Trump, Torcuil (and Tracy?) head off to the Belligerent Gnome.
Meanwhile, Infernius and Yak Lee are standing in the field, drooling on themselves.
The Belligerent Gnome is an emporium of death and please-don't-kill-me (weapons and armor) of all makes and models. They've got Full Plate, they've got glowing full plate, they've got flaming full plate, they've got (lots of plate,... and weapons too). The guy behind the counter looks familiar, but not identical to the booth guy.

>>3102
You got any staffs?

>>3102
Good sir! Can you show me your finest weapons? Anything in particular for taking down large or demonic targets? Also do you have something to clean leather with?

>>3103
"Yes, of course! Do you prefer basic staves or magical staves?"

>>3105
Magical
Any with any type of frogs on them?

>>3104
"DEMONIC! Oi you there, bring me on over to that lad over there!"
Shouts a voice from behind the counter. The shopkeep grimaces before holding up his hands apologetically.
"I'm uh, not sure that we have anything of the sort, not for fighting demons I'm sure."
"OH CUT THE CRRRRRAP YA LILLIE LIVERED SON OF A RAT! You there! Customer man (its a scottish accent BTW), what manner of DEMON are ya wanting ta kill?!"
"Sir, there must be something else I can offer you."

>>3107
>Scottish
Finally! A cultured man

>>3107
"A snake like looking one. Also, do you have slings for assault-ponies?"

>>3102
>monotone of implied interest
"Show me your knives."

>>3107
Any staves ye bloody wankstains?

>>3106
"You want a staff,... with frogs on it?" he seems like he's expecting more.
"OUT WITH IT YA AVARICIOUS PILE OF TROLL-FECES!"
The shopkeeper finally relents and says to Trump: "I may just have something in the back, let me have a look."
He gestures to someone behind the counter before disappearing into a room further back. He is replaced by another large-nosed man.
"You said you wanted frog-staves? Yes of course," he wanders over behind some shelves, where you can hear a squeaking sound. He returns with a wooden staff with frogs drawn on it in some form of black ink.
"And you wanted knives yes?" he directs Tracy's attention to a side display-case featuring knives.

>>3112
Eehhhh
Any other staves? just curious

>>3107
"Do you know of anything for humanoid reptilian succubi? Or for Giants."
>>3112
"Do you have slings for assault ponies?"

The original shopkeep returns holding a large sheathed sword with brass fittings.
"About bloody time I get some recognition and promotion. You've all gone soft under the watchful eye of VANDEREIM!!" shouts the scottish accent, which is actually coming from the sword. The shopkeep places the sword on the counter.
"THIS is an ancient and holy relic, held over from some holy person I couldn't be troubled to remember. It was forged ENTIRELY for the killing of infernals (devils and demons)!
"AYE! An I can drink any of ye under the table, that's for SURE!" the sword boasts.

>>3110
*Patience begins to waver*

>>3116
"And you wanted knives yes?" he directs Tracy's attention to a side display-case featuring knives.
>>3112

>>3115
>turns to Trump
Buy
the
damn
Scottish
possessed
sword

>>3118
"That's the spirit laddie! Once again shall the wicked fall to my magnificence and humility!"
The shopkeep smiles and says "This sword is one of a kind, and is available for the low price of 10000 shekels (he says, as though that's an insignificant amount).

>>3117
*lip quivers*
"Wh-what kind do you have here? Show me your top-quality merch!"

>>3119
>10000
holy shit
Anymore staves back there?

>>3115
>>3118
>>3119
TRUMP BUYS THE DAMNED SCOTTISH POSSESSED SWORD
although 10000 is a lot of money. Trumpaladin died with a lot of money on him... but that's a lot. He may have to kill something for hire or make Tracy steal it for him

>>3122
YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

>>3120
"Top quality eh?"
you guys,....
"We have all kinds of knives. Bane, Defending, Flaming, Frost, Shock, Ghost-touch, Keen, Ki-focus,... can you be more specific?
>>3121
"Yes, can you tell me the intended use? I mean, we have cold staves, and warm staves, and nature staves,...."
>>3122
Tempted though I am to inquire where Trump is carrying 10000 shekels, fuck it.
"Yes! YES! AGAIN SHALL THEY FEEL THE WRATH OF VANDEREIM THE MASTERFUL, MYSTICAL, MESSIANIC, AND MOST MAGNIFICENT BASTARD (sword)!!" And as he proclaims himself (the sword that is), a "Ahhhhhhh" sound can be heard from nowehere, and a random light shines down upon him. On the hilt is a face, and it is looking at you.
"Oi, you're not much to look at are you?" he says to Trump.

>>3124
Magic.
And slapping people who ask too many questions

The shopkeep takes the shekels and runs to the back so fast that you almost think he does Thez's little teleport thingy. His assistant stands in for him.
"Can I offer you goys, er guys something else?"

>>3125
"Hmmmm,... perhaps a staff of Transmutation? That would allow you to perform alchemy,... that is, if you're into that sort of thing,... just an arbitrary guess,... at any time or place without equipment!"

>>3124
Tracy stares at the collection for a few minutes, looking briefly into her knife-cozy every few seconds.
"... I....." she trails off.
"Can I test one out first? Keeness of edge is very, very important to me."

>>3124
*Trump can still write valid checks for weapons procurement from the public funds*
*Trump looks down at the holy instrument whereby he shall bring liberation and justice*
>>3126
"I'll need a sling for my assault pony and a sheath for my Vandereim. And tell me, what special armor or hammers do you have?"

>>3127
Interesting, but I want to see one more.

>>3129
"No amount of money to help our greatest ally is too much," Trump remembers a politician telling him, and it showed in the budget of the Imperial Guard

>>3131
Hearing this, the assistant smiles
"Then I know just the thing," he wanders from the counter, but mentions to Tracy "Yes, just don't bleed on anything. There is a dummy over in the corner (there is)."

>>3132
I whisper to the group after he leaves
Okay Idea, I can ask to see the staff knock out the assistant, and then we can take what we want. thoughts?

He returns a moment later with a javelin quiver.
"I'm sorry sir, but we've never had a request like that (assault-pony sling?), this is the best I can come up with. As for you," he says indicating Torcuil.
"THIS is a staff of POWER. It is not known the manner of types of magic contained within it, and many of its previous owners did not survive to either discover or record its secrets."
The staff is oak in design, well worn but regularly oiled.

"I am not very knowledgeable with its use, but I do know that it can do this. Shirak!" He proclaims, and the top of the staff begins to emit a bright light, brighter than any torch. "Dulak," he says, and the light disappears.

"Unfortunately, this is also a very rare and priceless relic, available only for 7000 shekels," he asks with a scrutinous expression on his face.

>>3133
"That could attract unwanted attention, and I'm not sure it will be necessary. Either my checks are valid and will pay for our procurement with the credit of the Free World behind it, or they won't know that they are invalid until we are well out of this town"
>>3134
Just a classic sling will do, make it big enough to support the blue pony you see over there. And tell me, do you have any polearm weapons? Preferably long, well-balanced, axe on one side and hammer on the other"

>>3137
"We do have some masterwork halberds, but nothing magical I'm afraid. As for the sling, I can make an order with one of the tradeshops, though it may take a day to fabricate."

>>3135
I would like to purchase both staves
>>3137
oh duh, you have checks

>>3137
"Wot the bloody 'ell di ya need a halberd for boy? You've got VANDEREIM THE (he repeats his litany)!"
>>3139
"BOTH staves! Goodness, the total price for both comes to 11,000 shekels," he can barely contain his excitement.

>Has already teleported into the testing area and tested every edge in the deluxe category and separated the good knives from the cheap rip-offs, which she has left in a pile in the corner
"They're.. very good.. I was looking more into the specialized-offensive category, but... *bites lip*
I'll take the collection!" She declares, a bit a-matter-of-fact-ly

>>3140
Trump my old buddy ole pal ole friend...
>>3141
Noice art

>>3141
The merchant seems to be having trouble standing upright and he grabs a towel from the counter and places it 'in his pocket'. "The whole,... I, excuse me," and he leaves for the back-room. "Be right back!"

>>3143
I test the element staff on a rock laying around
I try for Iron

The original shopkeeper returns from wherever he ran off to, clearly excited and enthusiastic to take your money.
"Good patrons, you have excellent and cultured taste. The grand sum for the objects you wish to procure is 18,000 shekels, though I'm sure that's nothing for gentlemen (and mares) of your calibur. Since the sum is so much, we will accept guarantee checks for a small premium (cost of doing business). Your total comes to 18,781 shekels, " he concludes after a bit of math.

>>3140
"Can you kill a giant? Or grow a few feet longer?" Trump asks Vandereim
>>3138
*At the suggestion of it taking a whole day for the sling to be made, Trump wonders how long it woyld take for the merchants to process a bounced check, and he wonders of the "Assistance to Zion" Act, which authorizes indefinite use of tax payer funds and the public credit for purchases of military arms from those of a certian race, and especially where it could conceivably advance the ends of the chosen race, still applies in this twilight realm*
>>3142
>>3147
No price is too great for our greatest allies!

>>3147
*Rummages through seemingly-bottomless knife-cozy*
"You do pawn, correct?"

>>3145
To your moderate surprise, the rock shudders for a moment before assuming a bronze-red color. The transmutation was successful, you have a chunk of pure iron.

>>3146
the pic of a drawing made me thing it was oc art, but I knew you werent the faggot who came up with Tracy
>>3148
My brother, I am indebted to you
But I will not repay you in the "special ways" tracy is
>>3150
>I pick it up, keeping if incase it may be useful
Also COMPLETELY off topic
What are shekels made of?

>>3148
"Ah kin kill anything that needs killin' lad! Yew're lookin' at the sharpest blade in this whole Game (it is, I broke the rules making 'him'). I can't get bigger, but ah can fly! Watch this lad, toss me in the air!" Vandereim encourages Trump.
>>3149
"In rare cases we will accept quality second-hand goods, but we prefer to deal in new merchandise."
>>3151
Shekels = gold

>>3150
Oh and, do you have magic arrows? Or improved armor?

>>3152
"Impress me" Trump tosses Vandereim in the air

>>3148
"Oi! Wait lad,... there's somethin', somethin's comin'. Somethin' WICKED. OI, take hand of me and lets get tah KEEELIN' (the wicked, that is)! Its comin' closer! Ah think its comin' this way!" He gets more excited as he continues.

>>3152
Gold? Hmmm.
Hey, you guys pick a place to eat I need to get my book

>>3154
Okay, this happens before the caveat.
Upon throwing Vandereim in the air, the sword spins once and then stops, hanging in the air for a moment. It then slowly glides to the ground, as though virtually weightless. You also notice that it has a square tip, not intended to be used for stabbing.
>>3156
"Good customer, if you will simply render the funds we can conclude the transaction."

>>3156
>>3155
>>3157
At the suggestion of Vandereim, Trump decides to pay the good man using a check clearly backed by the public credit, and leave the establishment under the pretense of looking for food
>>3156
"Alright, do that as you follow me"

"Tracy, I'll pay for your items, just follow me"

"I was hoping to save these to hire Nicolas Cage to appear at our wedding ceremony, but.. *bites lip* I can figure that out later. It's not like they cut well, anyway."

>>3158
>assuming I can spell
>>3159
Three cheers for not starving to death!
Hip hip

>>3159
>>3161
*quickly shoves all the knifes into knife-cozy, and blushes at the prospect of her husbanbdo picking up the bill like a chad*

As Vandereim continues to encourage Trump, Thez (still in Urri form) walks through the door.
"Here you guys are! This place SUCKS. The whores here act like they,... wait, whats up guys?"
"THERE! THAT'S THE VILE,... NOW JUST WAIT A SECOND! GILANA?! WHAT THE BLOODY, WHAT THE FECK ARE,... YOU'RE THE DEVIL?!" He seems to think for a moment. "Wait a second,... that means ah kin KILL ya now! OI! (Talking to Trump) hoist me so we can put an end to this foul creature!"
Thez however facepalms and says "You've got to be fucking kidding me."

"TO GLORY MAN!" Vandereim seems to tug in the direction of Thez.
"Um, sir?" says the shopkeeper.
"For fucks sake," says Thez.

*unsheathes Cain's demon-slaying knife and licks the edge of it, not even paying attention to the situation*

>>3163
I'm assume no good hoes?