To protect our way of life and to prevent shills, horse pussy must be on the 1st page. Always!
/mlpol/ - My Little Politics
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>>163127
I made the first "Obligatory Porn Thread", and post quite a bit in the current one. I never really intended it to be the only one though.
The 4/mlpol/ board was 60-70% porn
I made the first "Obligatory Porn Thread", and post quite a bit in the current one. I never really intended it to be the only one though.
The 4/mlpol/ board was 60-70% porn
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Needs more Aryanne.
Bamp
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Ooh, another porn thread?! Sweet, the last one was chugging my browser, anyways! Time for another story, this time continuing off of https://mlpol.net/mlpol/archive/res/141202.html#145408
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"Go on, lemmie hear you say it."
>"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" other-Anon grumbles.
"Like a fine wine," you smirk. "Now come on, daddy's got an ego to feed."
>"Fine, you insufferable bastard. You were right."
"About...?"
>"Oh, for--"
>"About ponies being the best thing since CH-53E Super Stallions?" coos his very anarcho-capitalist partner.
"Very observant, Leslie!"
>"L-Leslie, please!" other-Anon stutters, flushing a little bit.
>A flush that graduates to full-on face reddening, when his tastefully coloured companion sits in his lap, wraps her forelegs around his neck, and proceeds to give him a big, sloppy kiss, like only a horse could do.
"Ahh, young love!" you say, as flamboyantly as a Shakespeare performance. "How it soothes the soul so, how it makes us want for the best things in life!"
>With a loud mwah, she pulls away from her degenerate-slaying cohort, who's still trying to regain some semblance of composure, after what just happened.
>Aww, that's cute, he still thinks he's in charge.
>The young'un has much, much to learn, still.
"God, how long have you two been at this? Two, three months now?"
>"Two and a half," Leslie responds, without skipping a beat.
"Well, good to see you've been counting, m'girl!"
>"Like I count all my helicopter rides."
"Love thy enemy, as thou lovest thy big, orange pillar o' man, eh?"
>"S-stop that at once, Anon!" barks other-Anon, still rather flustered by his previous bit of spit swapping. "I won't suffer such degenerate implications!"
"But it's true! Right, girl?"
>"Right."
"Right!"
>He tries to say something, but only manages a few splutters before he gives up, and pouts at his seat.
>Or at least he tries to, until Leslie seats herself in his lap once again, lying against his chest, and prompting him to start itching her ears, his scowl melting away into nothing.
>Yeah, you totally taught him that trick.
>Mares love that ear scratching shit.
>You just let them have their little moment, taking a few sips of the lovely, lovely tea that your dear, lovely wife picked out.
>A real sucker for honey, that one.
>"Hey, you wanna tell him, babe, or should I?"
>Hmm?
>What doth your spidey-ears detect, from her?
>"I-is it really the right time, Leslie?"
>"Your idea, not mine."
"Now what's all this I'm hearing about telling me stuff?"
>The couple looks over to you, then back to each other, their gazes lingering on each other for a few moments, before orange-Anon nods a little, steeling himself for something.
>"W-well, Anon, you see, me and Leslie have decided to, ah..."
"Yes?"
>What's this, O-non getting nervous?
>He swallows dry, fidgets for a little, then takes a deep breath.
>"We're engaged!" he almost yells, as quick as he could.
>Nobody says anything for a moment, both parties waiting for some kind of response: one party nervous, the other party completely smug about it.
>Did you hear that right?
>Your boy O-non, engaged?
>"It's true," Leslie confirms with a dreamy sigh, pulling her tie off to reveal a thin little gold ring, hung around her neck with a little chain.
>No.
>Fucking.
>Way.
>As the moments pass, you feel the latent excitement of the Great Pink One™ flow through your veins: your smile grows ever larger, your joy reaches incalculable heights, and you begin to shake and gyrate in your seat.
>"I-is he supposed to be doing that?"
>"You tell me, hot stuff."
>With a great, girly squeal that even Sweetie Belle would have a tough time topping, you bound over to the couple, scooping them both up in your arms, and hugging them as tight as you can.
"OhmyGodholyshitnofuckingwayI'msoproudofyoubuddycongratulations!"
>"Aww, you're making me blush, here!"
>"C-can't breathe...!"
>Oh right, he's a big pussy who's allergic to hugs.
>How does he even survive out here, man?
"So," you chirp, releasing the duo and getting into their faces, "When's the wedding? Ooh, who're you gonna invite?!"
>"Actually, we were kinda hoping to keep it low-key."
"Ahh, as private as the market, eh?"
>"You expected something different?"
"Come on, don't tell me holding the ceremony in a Chinook didn't appeal to you, at all?"
>"I... huh. Didn't think of that."
"And instead of tossing flowers, you toss out some commie bastards over Starlight's old village, instead?"
>"Oooooh," Leslie coos, "That's a great idea!"
"I always have great ideas."
>"But, uh, we're still thinking of keeping it private, you know?"
>"Don't want those damned griffons to find out, after all..."
"Aww, buddy, those catbird fucks won't stand a chance, once your unholy offspring walk the earth!"
>Huh, that's weird.
>Both of them just froze up, like they were afraid of something.
"That... is why you're doing this, right?" you query, raising an eyebrow.
>"W-we're, uh, st-still not sure about that, yet."
"Not sure?!" you exclaim, unable to believe what you're hearing. "But that's the only reason to get hitched, in the first place!"
>"Hey, don't you dare rush us!"
"The fourteen words, man! What happened to the fourteen words?!"
>"I want to make things as stable as possible, before taking that leap!"
"Stable, schable! You've got nine-- no, excuse me, eleven months of time for that!"
>"And what would you know about that, smart guy?"
>You stare down at the foolish mare, letting your silence speak first, before you do:
"Ohh, little girl, you've never had your spawn ready to go in two weeks, have you?"
>"Huh?"
>"Oh God, you've done it, now..."
>"Wait a minute, you mean you and Chrysalis...?!"
"In lots of at least a hundred. Every. Other. Day."
>Her jaw drops.
>"H-how'd you talk her into that?!"
"Hah! Oh, m'girl, she wanted it, first!"
>"Please don't share this story, again."
>"No, please do share this story, again! How do you even manage that?!"
"Well, since you asked so nicely..."
...
>"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" other-Anon grumbles.
"Like a fine wine," you smirk. "Now come on, daddy's got an ego to feed."
>"Fine, you insufferable bastard. You were right."
"About...?"
>"Oh, for--"
>"About ponies being the best thing since CH-53E Super Stallions?" coos his very anarcho-capitalist partner.
"Very observant, Leslie!"
>"L-Leslie, please!" other-Anon stutters, flushing a little bit.
>A flush that graduates to full-on face reddening, when his tastefully coloured companion sits in his lap, wraps her forelegs around his neck, and proceeds to give him a big, sloppy kiss, like only a horse could do.
"Ahh, young love!" you say, as flamboyantly as a Shakespeare performance. "How it soothes the soul so, how it makes us want for the best things in life!"
>With a loud mwah, she pulls away from her degenerate-slaying cohort, who's still trying to regain some semblance of composure, after what just happened.
>Aww, that's cute, he still thinks he's in charge.
>The young'un has much, much to learn, still.
"God, how long have you two been at this? Two, three months now?"
>"Two and a half," Leslie responds, without skipping a beat.
"Well, good to see you've been counting, m'girl!"
>"Like I count all my helicopter rides."
"Love thy enemy, as thou lovest thy big, orange pillar o' man, eh?"
>"S-stop that at once, Anon!" barks other-Anon, still rather flustered by his previous bit of spit swapping. "I won't suffer such degenerate implications!"
"But it's true! Right, girl?"
>"Right."
"Right!"
>He tries to say something, but only manages a few splutters before he gives up, and pouts at his seat.
>Or at least he tries to, until Leslie seats herself in his lap once again, lying against his chest, and prompting him to start itching her ears, his scowl melting away into nothing.
>Yeah, you totally taught him that trick.
>Mares love that ear scratching shit.
>You just let them have their little moment, taking a few sips of the lovely, lovely tea that your dear, lovely wife picked out.
>A real sucker for honey, that one.
>"Hey, you wanna tell him, babe, or should I?"
>Hmm?
>What doth your spidey-ears detect, from her?
>"I-is it really the right time, Leslie?"
>"Your idea, not mine."
"Now what's all this I'm hearing about telling me stuff?"
>The couple looks over to you, then back to each other, their gazes lingering on each other for a few moments, before orange-Anon nods a little, steeling himself for something.
>"W-well, Anon, you see, me and Leslie have decided to, ah..."
"Yes?"
>What's this, O-non getting nervous?
>He swallows dry, fidgets for a little, then takes a deep breath.
>"We're engaged!" he almost yells, as quick as he could.
>Nobody says anything for a moment, both parties waiting for some kind of response: one party nervous, the other party completely smug about it.
>Did you hear that right?
>Your boy O-non, engaged?
>"It's true," Leslie confirms with a dreamy sigh, pulling her tie off to reveal a thin little gold ring, hung around her neck with a little chain.
>No.
>Fucking.
>Way.
>As the moments pass, you feel the latent excitement of the Great Pink One™ flow through your veins: your smile grows ever larger, your joy reaches incalculable heights, and you begin to shake and gyrate in your seat.
>"I-is he supposed to be doing that?"
>"You tell me, hot stuff."
>With a great, girly squeal that even Sweetie Belle would have a tough time topping, you bound over to the couple, scooping them both up in your arms, and hugging them as tight as you can.
"OhmyGodholyshitnofuckingwayI'msoproudofyoubuddycongratulations!"
>"Aww, you're making me blush, here!"
>"C-can't breathe...!"
>Oh right, he's a big pussy who's allergic to hugs.
>How does he even survive out here, man?
"So," you chirp, releasing the duo and getting into their faces, "When's the wedding? Ooh, who're you gonna invite?!"
>"Actually, we were kinda hoping to keep it low-key."
"Ahh, as private as the market, eh?"
>"You expected something different?"
"Come on, don't tell me holding the ceremony in a Chinook didn't appeal to you, at all?"
>"I... huh. Didn't think of that."
"And instead of tossing flowers, you toss out some commie bastards over Starlight's old village, instead?"
>"Oooooh," Leslie coos, "That's a great idea!"
"I always have great ideas."
>"But, uh, we're still thinking of keeping it private, you know?"
>"Don't want those damned griffons to find out, after all..."
"Aww, buddy, those catbird fucks won't stand a chance, once your unholy offspring walk the earth!"
>Huh, that's weird.
>Both of them just froze up, like they were afraid of something.
"That... is why you're doing this, right?" you query, raising an eyebrow.
>"W-we're, uh, st-still not sure about that, yet."
"Not sure?!" you exclaim, unable to believe what you're hearing. "But that's the only reason to get hitched, in the first place!"
>"Hey, don't you dare rush us!"
"The fourteen words, man! What happened to the fourteen words?!"
>"I want to make things as stable as possible, before taking that leap!"
"Stable, schable! You've got nine-- no, excuse me, eleven months of time for that!"
>"And what would you know about that, smart guy?"
>You stare down at the foolish mare, letting your silence speak first, before you do:
"Ohh, little girl, you've never had your spawn ready to go in two weeks, have you?"
>"Huh?"
>"Oh God, you've done it, now..."
>"Wait a minute, you mean you and Chrysalis...?!"
"In lots of at least a hundred. Every. Other. Day."
>Her jaw drops.
>"H-how'd you talk her into that?!"
"Hah! Oh, m'girl, she wanted it, first!"
>"Please don't share this story, again."
>"No, please do share this story, again! How do you even manage that?!"
"Well, since you asked so nicely..."
...
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>>164927
>"Oh, Chrysalis~," cheers Starlight, trotting in circles around the bug-mare's prison cell, in the middle of this big chamber. "It's time for your friendship lesson, again!"
>She chooses to just lie in the small bed, presumably still awake, but hoping beyond hope that this annoying pseudo-communist will just up and fuck off.
>Honestly, if you were her, you'd be doing the same thing.
>"Come on, lazybones! I even brought a friend along with me, for you to bond with!"
>And now you just feel like the biggest asshole to ever walk the planet.
>When Twilight said she needed a favour from you, helping this bitch violate the Geneva convention wasn't one of them.
>"Aww, come on, Chrysalis! Don't make me pull you out of there~!"
>How someone can torment another so gleefully, is beyond you.
>"Okay, you asked for it~!"
>Lighting up her horn, she pulls Chrysalis out of her cot, lifting her up into the air and shaking her around a little.
>"Gaaaaah," Chrysalis bellows. "What will it take to make you stop?!"
>"You just have to accept friendship into your life, Chrysalis!"
>"Never!" she screeches back.
>If Starlight meant that giggle to be all reassuring and parental, it failed completely, instead coming off as the kind of giggle a serial killer gives to his victims, right before he starts torturing them.
>"All right, Chrysalis, let's start off with the basics!"
>And from then on, Starlight proceeds to perform what you can only describe as the cute cartoon pony equivalent of the Room 101 tortures, telling Chrysalis to recite the most banal friendship tips, over and over again.
>Well, maybe 'telling' her is the wrong term: it was more like she kept using magic to directly speak into her ears from far away, and keeping her from covering said ears at all times.
>Starlight maintained perfect composure throughout, her face a blank, smiling mask that not even the greatest of Stepford wives could match.
>Chrysalis, to her credit, stood her ground for what felt like around half an hour.
>God only knows how long she could have gone for, or how many times she's had to put up with this, already.
>But somewhere along the line, you decide that stopping Starlight's horrifying, psychotic torments against this odd bug-horse was worth enduring the earful from Twilight, later on.
"Uhh, Starlight?"
>"Ooh, Anon! Sorry, I almost forgot you were there!"
>If only it could have stayed that way.
"Listen, is this really what you'd call 'friendship'? I mean, 'teaching friendship'?"
>"Of course it is! I mean, it worked great back at Our Town, and even without all my tools, it's working great here! Ooh, I'm really looking forward to doing this at the new Friendship School!"
>You don't know if it was the mention of 'tools', the lack of remorse, or the prospect of her doing this shit to little horse kids that set you off, but boy, did it ever set you off.
"Listen to me, you fucking horse," you exclaim, all but shoving yourself into her face. "You're gonna cut this shit out right fucking now!"
>Jesus Christ, nothing on her face moved!
>"That wasn't very nice, Anon," she coos, drawing her syllables out just a little longer.
"Yeah, and neither are you! Back home, this shit's banned in every country on the planet!"
>"But we're not on your planet."
"And I'm positively offended at your cavalier disregard for my culture!" you exclaim, sensing an opening to shut her down. "Why, I ought to tell Twilight about this, right now!"
>Her expression changes dramatically, the smile evaporating and being replaced with a panicked whinny.
>As a memelord from old once said, 'got eem'.
>"Wh-what? No, oh nonononono, you can't do that! I-I didn't know that you'd--"
"No," you shout with a certain dramatic tenor, "No, you didn't! Why, I bet you didn't even think to ask, did you?!"
>"NononononoI'msorryI'msorryI'msorry--"
"Sorry's not good enough!" you huff, spinning 720° towards the exit. "I'm going to tell Twilight all about this horrific display of cultural imperialism, you despicable shitlord!"
>You strut towards the exit, and--
>"NO!"
>Holyfuckholyshityou'refloatingwhattheJesusfuckingChrist--
>The next thing you see is Starlight's panicky face right in front of yours, only upside-down.
>"No no no you can't!" she cries, definitely off her rocker more than usual, "I can't get another strike with Twilight! She'll kick me out of the castle, and won't keep me on as her student anymore! I can't handle that!"
"Put me down."
>"No no no no no nononononono!"
"I'm part dilophosaur, and I'm not afraid to show it."
>"Wait! Wait wait yes, I know how to fix this!"
>Oh God, no.
>"I-I just have to teach you all about friendship, too!"
>What?!
"Oh, hell no! Let me down!"
>"Yes, that's it!" she exclaims, rubbing her hooves together feverishly as strands of her mane start sticking out at funny angles. "I just have to teach you about how friendship works here!"
"You're a disgusting cultural imperialist!"
>"Don't be silly, Anon! You have to assimilate to the culture of the country you immigrate to!"
"Now you decide to get redpilled?!"
>She opens the doors of the cage, and gets ready to throw you in.
"Hey, I have rights!"
>Aaaand into the cell you're thrown.
"Am I being detained?"
>"Heehehehe, I'll see you both tomorrow~!" she sing-songs, crazy in both expression and voice, before moonwalking out of here.
"I do not consent! Let me outta here!"
>Sadly, the banging on the bars does nothing...
[align=right]>"Wait," Leslie exclaims, "Starlight did that?!"[/align]
[align=right]"She did."[/align]
[align=right]>"Why, that little--! Where is she?! She's won a first-class helicopter ride![/align]
[align=right]"Oh, please don't. What I did to her is punishment enough."[/align]
[align=right]>"H-huh?"[/align]
[align=right]"Oh, my dear sweet anarcho-capitalist, why do you think she spends all her days drinking now? Let me finish the story, at least..."[/align]
>"Oh, Chrysalis~," cheers Starlight, trotting in circles around the bug-mare's prison cell, in the middle of this big chamber. "It's time for your friendship lesson, again!"
>She chooses to just lie in the small bed, presumably still awake, but hoping beyond hope that this annoying pseudo-communist will just up and fuck off.
>Honestly, if you were her, you'd be doing the same thing.
>"Come on, lazybones! I even brought a friend along with me, for you to bond with!"
>And now you just feel like the biggest asshole to ever walk the planet.
>When Twilight said she needed a favour from you, helping this bitch violate the Geneva convention wasn't one of them.
>"Aww, come on, Chrysalis! Don't make me pull you out of there~!"
>How someone can torment another so gleefully, is beyond you.
>"Okay, you asked for it~!"
>Lighting up her horn, she pulls Chrysalis out of her cot, lifting her up into the air and shaking her around a little.
>"Gaaaaah," Chrysalis bellows. "What will it take to make you stop?!"
>"You just have to accept friendship into your life, Chrysalis!"
>"Never!" she screeches back.
>If Starlight meant that giggle to be all reassuring and parental, it failed completely, instead coming off as the kind of giggle a serial killer gives to his victims, right before he starts torturing them.
>"All right, Chrysalis, let's start off with the basics!"
>And from then on, Starlight proceeds to perform what you can only describe as the cute cartoon pony equivalent of the Room 101 tortures, telling Chrysalis to recite the most banal friendship tips, over and over again.
>Well, maybe 'telling' her is the wrong term: it was more like she kept using magic to directly speak into her ears from far away, and keeping her from covering said ears at all times.
>Starlight maintained perfect composure throughout, her face a blank, smiling mask that not even the greatest of Stepford wives could match.
>Chrysalis, to her credit, stood her ground for what felt like around half an hour.
>God only knows how long she could have gone for, or how many times she's had to put up with this, already.
>But somewhere along the line, you decide that stopping Starlight's horrifying, psychotic torments against this odd bug-horse was worth enduring the earful from Twilight, later on.
"Uhh, Starlight?"
>"Ooh, Anon! Sorry, I almost forgot you were there!"
>If only it could have stayed that way.
"Listen, is this really what you'd call 'friendship'? I mean, 'teaching friendship'?"
>"Of course it is! I mean, it worked great back at Our Town, and even without all my tools, it's working great here! Ooh, I'm really looking forward to doing this at the new Friendship School!"
>You don't know if it was the mention of 'tools', the lack of remorse, or the prospect of her doing this shit to little horse kids that set you off, but boy, did it ever set you off.
"Listen to me, you fucking horse," you exclaim, all but shoving yourself into her face. "You're gonna cut this shit out right fucking now!"
>Jesus Christ, nothing on her face moved!
>"That wasn't very nice, Anon," she coos, drawing her syllables out just a little longer.
"Yeah, and neither are you! Back home, this shit's banned in every country on the planet!"
>"But we're not on your planet."
"And I'm positively offended at your cavalier disregard for my culture!" you exclaim, sensing an opening to shut her down. "Why, I ought to tell Twilight about this, right now!"
>Her expression changes dramatically, the smile evaporating and being replaced with a panicked whinny.
>As a memelord from old once said, 'got eem'.
>"Wh-what? No, oh nonononono, you can't do that! I-I didn't know that you'd--"
"No," you shout with a certain dramatic tenor, "No, you didn't! Why, I bet you didn't even think to ask, did you?!"
>"NononononoI'msorryI'msorryI'msorry--"
"Sorry's not good enough!" you huff, spinning 720° towards the exit. "I'm going to tell Twilight all about this horrific display of cultural imperialism, you despicable shitlord!"
>You strut towards the exit, and--
>"NO!"
>Holyfuckholyshityou'refloatingwhattheJesusfuckingChrist--
>The next thing you see is Starlight's panicky face right in front of yours, only upside-down.
>"No no no you can't!" she cries, definitely off her rocker more than usual, "I can't get another strike with Twilight! She'll kick me out of the castle, and won't keep me on as her student anymore! I can't handle that!"
"Put me down."
>"No no no no no nononononono!"
"I'm part dilophosaur, and I'm not afraid to show it."
>"Wait! Wait wait yes, I know how to fix this!"
>Oh God, no.
>"I-I just have to teach you all about friendship, too!"
>What?!
"Oh, hell no! Let me down!"
>"Yes, that's it!" she exclaims, rubbing her hooves together feverishly as strands of her mane start sticking out at funny angles. "I just have to teach you about how friendship works here!"
"You're a disgusting cultural imperialist!"
>"Don't be silly, Anon! You have to assimilate to the culture of the country you immigrate to!"
"Now you decide to get redpilled?!"
>She opens the doors of the cage, and gets ready to throw you in.
"Hey, I have rights!"
>Aaaand into the cell you're thrown.
"Am I being detained?"
>"Heehehehe, I'll see you both tomorrow~!" she sing-songs, crazy in both expression and voice, before moonwalking out of here.
"I do not consent! Let me outta here!"
>Sadly, the banging on the bars does nothing...
[align=right]>"Wait," Leslie exclaims, "Starlight did that?!"[/align]
[align=right]"She did."[/align]
[align=right]>"Why, that little--! Where is she?! She's won a first-class helicopter ride![/align]
[align=right]"Oh, please don't. What I did to her is punishment enough."[/align]
[align=right]>"H-huh?"[/align]
[align=right]"Oh, my dear sweet anarcho-capitalist, why do you think she spends all her days drinking now? Let me finish the story, at least..."[/align]
File (): 2AF353D21AF65604BA4CFD14DA7C9A65-266511.png (260.3 KB, 600x764, 1515365733997.png)
>>164928
>You bang and bang on the cell walls, but alas, nothing heeds the commotion you're making.
"Starlight, I swear to every god in the Norse pantheon, I will rain down every agony, every violation imaginable upon you, if you don't let me outta this fucking cell!"
>"Give it a rest, will you?"
>That smooth, slightly echoing voice is the only thing that's drawn you away from the door out of here, so far.
>Looking back at it's source, you see none other than the strange, insectoid mare you stuck your neck out for.
>Definitely had the shape of a pony going for her, but between the smooth black shell, the holey legs, the thin body, the bug wings, the fangs, the kinky horn, the green hair, and the kinda slitted eyes, that was about as pony as she got.
>And boy howdy, you have to admit, she managed to do a very tasteful job of it.
>"She isn't coming back until early tomorrow, so you can stop wasting your energy."
"And what the hell else am I supposed to waste it on, finding openings in the cell? Ooh, actually, that's a great idea!"
>Dropping to your knees, you start inspecting the bars closely for anything you can Jack Sparrow your way through.
>"That... wasn't what I had in mind."
"Nothing I do is what anyone has in mind, thank you very much."
>"Uh-huh. You won't find anything, by the way. I looked."
"Then I'll just have to look again!"
>"You do that."
>Her meagre sass has nothing on your extraterrestrial determination!
>But as your search drags on and on, you begin to realize that said sass might have been more truthful than you gave it credit for.
>And after what feels like an hour of searching, you come up empty-handed.
>"Done already?"
"Hey, I thought I was onto something with those door hinges, all right?"
>"Hinges, really?"
"Leverage, bug-friend. Leverage."
>"We're not friends," she shoots back, a scowl beginning to develop.
"Partners, then! Brothers in arms! Cellmates?"
>"No."
"Fine, be a grump, see if I care. Does this horse-bug-grump have a name, at least?"
>"First of all, I'm not a bug."
"Well, could've fooled me."
>"Just full of hilarity, aren't we?"
"All day, every day, 24/7/365."
>"If you say so."
"And I do."
>She may try to mask it with the snout wrinkling, but she's warming to you, ever so slowly.
>"You already know what my name is."
"And?"
>"What do you mean, 'and'?"
"Okay, I am making extremely civilized conversation here, and you're biting my head off."
>"That can be arranged."
"Well yeah, but then you'd have to deal with her all by your lonesome."
>And just like that, the teeth baring she's doing fades into a shudder.
>"Chrysalis. Queen Chrysalis."
"Ahh, nice to meet you! You address Sir Anonymous von Horsefucker the third, esquire."
>"Oh, that's nice--" she starts, before realizing what you just said, and standing up off her cot in surprise. "Wait, what'd you just say?!"
"Shocked, aren't we? Not surprising, really. The von Horsefucker name is renowned across these lands!"
>That, or it's the number of mares you'd porked since coming here, but hey, she doesn't need to know that.
>"So, nerve to go with the wise guy act? How you didn't end up in jail before now, I have no idea."
"And believe me, it's not for a lack of trying. To be honest, I thought I'd be in the slammer a long time ago, from that one time where I teabagged Rainbow Dash in her sleep."
[align=right]>"Pffft," Leslie snorts, failing to contain her gigglefit. "Y-you actually did that?!"[/align]
[align=right]"Well, I had to use the time left on Twilight's cloud-walking spell for something!"[/align]
[align=right]>Leslie proceeds to lose her shit proper, doubling over and laughing hysterically, an act that takes her a minute or two to recover from.[/align]
[align=right]"Yeah, she thought it was pretty funny, too."[/align]
>Chrysalis wrinkles her snout again, this time to cover her smirk, with the added side bonus of looking cute as all hell.
"As it turns out, that rainbow hairdo is not an allusion to her sexual preferences. Ask me how I know that."
>"I think I can figure it out," she grumbles.
>Aww, and you really wanted to share how you moved up from von Horsefucker the first, to the second!
"So what's your deal? How'd you wind up here?"
>"I'm sure you can figure it out."
"Sure, I'm gonna figure it out about someone I've literally never met, nor heard of before now. Man, I should've specced into psychic powers..."
>"Wait, you really didn't know who I was, before now?"
"Should I have?"
>Oh boy, that's not a nice snarl.
>"You should be trembling in fear before my name! All of you should be! That little bitch, she covered my capture up!"
"She black-bagged you? Ooh, yeah, I'd be pissed, too."
>Nobody black-bags a von Horsefucker, not if they expect to live past 30.
>"Listen closely, little..." she starts, all intimidating, deep-voiced, and passingly sexual, before she blanks completely at the last part. "Uhh, what are your people called, again?"
"Smooth, lady."
>"Tell me now!" she hisses.
"Real smooth."
>She tries to stare you down, but all you end up doing is idly playing with that one strand of her mane, hanging down her face.
>"Oh, for the love of-- please?"
"Human."
>"Thank you!"
"Friendship ain't magic, the words are."
>"Now," she announces, sitting back on her cot, and regaining her big-and-intimidating posture. "Listen closely, little human! For I, Queen Chrysalis, ruler of the changelings, have brought Equestria to it's knees many times over!"
"Ooh, how'd you do it?" you chirp, sitting down next to her.
>"What are-- You're supposed to be sitting on the floor for this!
"On that hard slab of concrete? Fuck that noise. Now, keep going! I wanna hear this!"
>She grumbles something under her breath, but ultimately gives in.
>She tells you about the times she almost took over Equestria, first with that big wedding, and then by replacing all the important ponies, like the fucking Institute does.
>You bang and bang on the cell walls, but alas, nothing heeds the commotion you're making.
"Starlight, I swear to every god in the Norse pantheon, I will rain down every agony, every violation imaginable upon you, if you don't let me outta this fucking cell!"
>"Give it a rest, will you?"
>That smooth, slightly echoing voice is the only thing that's drawn you away from the door out of here, so far.
>Looking back at it's source, you see none other than the strange, insectoid mare you stuck your neck out for.
>Definitely had the shape of a pony going for her, but between the smooth black shell, the holey legs, the thin body, the bug wings, the fangs, the kinky horn, the green hair, and the kinda slitted eyes, that was about as pony as she got.
>And boy howdy, you have to admit, she managed to do a very tasteful job of it.
>"She isn't coming back until early tomorrow, so you can stop wasting your energy."
"And what the hell else am I supposed to waste it on, finding openings in the cell? Ooh, actually, that's a great idea!"
>Dropping to your knees, you start inspecting the bars closely for anything you can Jack Sparrow your way through.
>"That... wasn't what I had in mind."
"Nothing I do is what anyone has in mind, thank you very much."
>"Uh-huh. You won't find anything, by the way. I looked."
"Then I'll just have to look again!"
>"You do that."
>Her meagre sass has nothing on your extraterrestrial determination!
>But as your search drags on and on, you begin to realize that said sass might have been more truthful than you gave it credit for.
>And after what feels like an hour of searching, you come up empty-handed.
>"Done already?"
"Hey, I thought I was onto something with those door hinges, all right?"
>"Hinges, really?"
"Leverage, bug-friend. Leverage."
>"We're not friends," she shoots back, a scowl beginning to develop.
"Partners, then! Brothers in arms! Cellmates?"
>"No."
"Fine, be a grump, see if I care. Does this horse-bug-grump have a name, at least?"
>"First of all, I'm not a bug."
"Well, could've fooled me."
>"Just full of hilarity, aren't we?"
"All day, every day, 24/7/365."
>"If you say so."
"And I do."
>She may try to mask it with the snout wrinkling, but she's warming to you, ever so slowly.
>"You already know what my name is."
"And?"
>"What do you mean, 'and'?"
"Okay, I am making extremely civilized conversation here, and you're biting my head off."
>"That can be arranged."
"Well yeah, but then you'd have to deal with her all by your lonesome."
>And just like that, the teeth baring she's doing fades into a shudder.
>"Chrysalis. Queen Chrysalis."
"Ahh, nice to meet you! You address Sir Anonymous von Horsefucker the third, esquire."
>"Oh, that's nice--" she starts, before realizing what you just said, and standing up off her cot in surprise. "Wait, what'd you just say?!"
"Shocked, aren't we? Not surprising, really. The von Horsefucker name is renowned across these lands!"
>That, or it's the number of mares you'd porked since coming here, but hey, she doesn't need to know that.
>"So, nerve to go with the wise guy act? How you didn't end up in jail before now, I have no idea."
"And believe me, it's not for a lack of trying. To be honest, I thought I'd be in the slammer a long time ago, from that one time where I teabagged Rainbow Dash in her sleep."
[align=right]>"Pffft," Leslie snorts, failing to contain her gigglefit. "Y-you actually did that?!"[/align]
[align=right]"Well, I had to use the time left on Twilight's cloud-walking spell for something!"[/align]
[align=right]>Leslie proceeds to lose her shit proper, doubling over and laughing hysterically, an act that takes her a minute or two to recover from.[/align]
[align=right]"Yeah, she thought it was pretty funny, too."[/align]
>Chrysalis wrinkles her snout again, this time to cover her smirk, with the added side bonus of looking cute as all hell.
"As it turns out, that rainbow hairdo is not an allusion to her sexual preferences. Ask me how I know that."
>"I think I can figure it out," she grumbles.
>Aww, and you really wanted to share how you moved up from von Horsefucker the first, to the second!
"So what's your deal? How'd you wind up here?"
>"I'm sure you can figure it out."
"Sure, I'm gonna figure it out about someone I've literally never met, nor heard of before now. Man, I should've specced into psychic powers..."
>"Wait, you really didn't know who I was, before now?"
"Should I have?"
>Oh boy, that's not a nice snarl.
>"You should be trembling in fear before my name! All of you should be! That little bitch, she covered my capture up!"
"She black-bagged you? Ooh, yeah, I'd be pissed, too."
>Nobody black-bags a von Horsefucker, not if they expect to live past 30.
>"Listen closely, little..." she starts, all intimidating, deep-voiced, and passingly sexual, before she blanks completely at the last part. "Uhh, what are your people called, again?"
"Smooth, lady."
>"Tell me now!" she hisses.
"Real smooth."
>She tries to stare you down, but all you end up doing is idly playing with that one strand of her mane, hanging down her face.
>"Oh, for the love of-- please?"
"Human."
>"Thank you!"
"Friendship ain't magic, the words are."
>"Now," she announces, sitting back on her cot, and regaining her big-and-intimidating posture. "Listen closely, little human! For I, Queen Chrysalis, ruler of the changelings, have brought Equestria to it's knees many times over!"
"Ooh, how'd you do it?" you chirp, sitting down next to her.
>"What are-- You're supposed to be sitting on the floor for this!
"On that hard slab of concrete? Fuck that noise. Now, keep going! I wanna hear this!"
>She grumbles something under her breath, but ultimately gives in.
>She tells you about the times she almost took over Equestria, first with that big wedding, and then by replacing all the important ponies, like the fucking Institute does.
File (): D27E307EB7EE1678C982862835A70A8D-819985.jpg (800.8 KB, 2160x3200, 1515298753803.jpg)
>>164929
>Part of you wants to start ribbing this big, boastful bug-mare for crashing and burning on all of those attempts, like every other Bond villain on the planet, but something about her retelling, how happy she was explaining it all, and that increasingly attractive voice of hers stayed your voice.
>"And then, there was the time I made those evil clones of that Twilight and her friends, using just their pictures, strands of mane, and trees."
"Geez, even MacGyver's gotta go green sometime, huh?"
>"What?"
"Ah, nothing."
>"Well, anyways, it didn't end well," she grumbles. "They never listened to a word I said. Somehow, I know it was all Starlight's fault."
"Everything is Starlight's fault."
>"Is that little menace still a problem, outside of this forsaken place?"
"I wouldn't mind her so much, if everyone wasn't bending over backwards to accommodate the bitch." you grumble. "I mean, the big human duo crashes down literally in the middle of town, and nobody gives a shit. But this one commie gets forgiven after almost torpedoing the world, and all of a sudden, she's the second coming of Christ?"
>"Well, that's-- Wait a minute, she almost destroyed the world?"
"Yeah, I had to really get Twilight liquored up, to get her to spill that story."
>Getting to von Horsefucker the third that day was not as pleasant as you'd imagined it would be.
"Apparently, she fucked with time to keep her pals from getting their magic tramp stamps, and Twilight kept warping after her to undo them. Actually, now that I'm seeing you, I think there was one timeline with you in it."
>"Me?"
"Yeah, all the ponies were rebels camped out in the forest, and you and a bunch of tiny bug-horses were hunting them all down."
>"Really?" she asks, the beginnings of a twinkle growing in her eyes.
"Well, she wouldn't tell me more than that."
>"Of course she wouldn't." she grumbles. "Not that I'd be able to take over like that, now."
"Aww, don't say that! I'm sure you could rustle up an army for world conquest, in no time!"
>"I don't recruit others for my armies!"
"No? Then what do you do for armies?"
>"My soldiers are all my children!" she exclaims, before turning away with a hurt look on her face. "And they've all abandoned me, turned themselves into horrible creatures..."
"Wait, what? Hold on..."
>She said she was the changeling queen, right?
>But the only other changelings you remember seeing were--
>Oh.
>Oh, God!
"Holy shit," you start, "Your kids aren't those rainbow-shelled bugs I see at those parties sometimes, are they?"
>She just dips her head lower in both shame and disgust, shutting her eyes.
"Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints," you quietly say, scooching closer and throwing an arm around her withers. "I am so sorry."
[align=right]>"Holy shit, I didn't know that those 'changelings' were her kids!"[/align]
[align=right]>"Every time I hear it, it doesn't get much better. Imagine your own progeny, reducing themselves to such degeneracy..."[/align]
[align=right]"Yeah, there's a reason we're destroying them, first."[/align]
[align=right]>"Yes, I would imagine so-- Wait, what?"[/align]
[align=right]"Moving on!"[/align]
>"It's all Starlight's fault," she hisses, doing her best to keep from crying. "She did that to them, right in front of my eyes!"
"Starlight? She did that?"
>"That's what I just said!" she exclaims, her inhibition breaking just long enough for a tear to roll down her face, before she whirls back away from you.
>You don't say much to her past that point, choosing instead to try and calm her down, starting with a little rubbing of the withers.
>For what you thought was a sleek, hard black shell, it's surprisingly pliable, almost like skin.
"You know, here I thought today's events were enough to get me to hate Starlight. After hearing that, though? I almost want to talk to the big orange guy, to get some advice on building gas chambers."
[align=right]>"My shower designs are a trade secret, there's no way I would ever share them with you!"[/align]
[align=right]"Good thing I didn't ask then, huh?"[/align]
>She doesn't answer you, though you do feel her loosening up under your very amateurish handiwork.
"How long have you been down here?"
>"Too long."
"Good answer. Tell you what, one way or another, we're getting outta this dump in about a week's time."
>"'We'?"
"Oh, you wanted to stay longer?"
>"No! Absolutely not!" she shouts, spinning around to face you.
"Then you'll just have to suffer through the co-op then, won't you?"
>"And I'm supposed to believe that this isn't some elaborate plan of hers, to make me 'befriend' you?"
"Starlight? Plan?"
>"Oh, shut up!"
"Make me, later. Or now, since I'm hitting the sack. Right now."
>And with that, you unceremoniously flop back onto the cot.
>"Hey, what are you doing?! This is my bed!"
"Was your bed."
>"Why, you little...! Get off of my bed!"
"Make me~."
>She tries at first to shove and pull you off, but years of wrestling for bed dominance have immunized you against such manoeuvres, and she is entirely unsuccessful.
>What she does do, however, is decide on flopping down on top of you.
>"Fine then, subject. Have it your way. One way or another, I will get my good night's sleep."
>She just barely reels back a squeak, when your arms clasp around her.
"That, queenie, is the right answer."
>"Aagh, you're impossible!"
"Night-night."
>She grumbles overhead, but eventually does relax, nodding off sometime before you do.
[align=right]>"Aww, she was totally into you!"[/align]
[align=right]"Yeah, too bad I didn't figure that out sooner. Really dumb, in retrospect."[/align]
[align=right]>"But you're together now, and that's what matters, right?"[/align]
[align=right]"Right! But we're not quite done yet..."[/align]
>Part of you wants to start ribbing this big, boastful bug-mare for crashing and burning on all of those attempts, like every other Bond villain on the planet, but something about her retelling, how happy she was explaining it all, and that increasingly attractive voice of hers stayed your voice.
>"And then, there was the time I made those evil clones of that Twilight and her friends, using just their pictures, strands of mane, and trees."
"Geez, even MacGyver's gotta go green sometime, huh?"
>"What?"
"Ah, nothing."
>"Well, anyways, it didn't end well," she grumbles. "They never listened to a word I said. Somehow, I know it was all Starlight's fault."
"Everything is Starlight's fault."
>"Is that little menace still a problem, outside of this forsaken place?"
"I wouldn't mind her so much, if everyone wasn't bending over backwards to accommodate the bitch." you grumble. "I mean, the big human duo crashes down literally in the middle of town, and nobody gives a shit. But this one commie gets forgiven after almost torpedoing the world, and all of a sudden, she's the second coming of Christ?"
>"Well, that's-- Wait a minute, she almost destroyed the world?"
"Yeah, I had to really get Twilight liquored up, to get her to spill that story."
>Getting to von Horsefucker the third that day was not as pleasant as you'd imagined it would be.
"Apparently, she fucked with time to keep her pals from getting their magic tramp stamps, and Twilight kept warping after her to undo them. Actually, now that I'm seeing you, I think there was one timeline with you in it."
>"Me?"
"Yeah, all the ponies were rebels camped out in the forest, and you and a bunch of tiny bug-horses were hunting them all down."
>"Really?" she asks, the beginnings of a twinkle growing in her eyes.
"Well, she wouldn't tell me more than that."
>"Of course she wouldn't." she grumbles. "Not that I'd be able to take over like that, now."
"Aww, don't say that! I'm sure you could rustle up an army for world conquest, in no time!"
>"I don't recruit others for my armies!"
"No? Then what do you do for armies?"
>"My soldiers are all my children!" she exclaims, before turning away with a hurt look on her face. "And they've all abandoned me, turned themselves into horrible creatures..."
"Wait, what? Hold on..."
>She said she was the changeling queen, right?
>But the only other changelings you remember seeing were--
>Oh.
>Oh, God!
"Holy shit," you start, "Your kids aren't those rainbow-shelled bugs I see at those parties sometimes, are they?"
>She just dips her head lower in both shame and disgust, shutting her eyes.
"Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints," you quietly say, scooching closer and throwing an arm around her withers. "I am so sorry."
[align=right]>"Holy shit, I didn't know that those 'changelings' were her kids!"[/align]
[align=right]>"Every time I hear it, it doesn't get much better. Imagine your own progeny, reducing themselves to such degeneracy..."[/align]
[align=right]"Yeah, there's a reason we're destroying them, first."[/align]
[align=right]>"Yes, I would imagine so-- Wait, what?"[/align]
[align=right]"Moving on!"[/align]
>"It's all Starlight's fault," she hisses, doing her best to keep from crying. "She did that to them, right in front of my eyes!"
"Starlight? She did that?"
>"That's what I just said!" she exclaims, her inhibition breaking just long enough for a tear to roll down her face, before she whirls back away from you.
>You don't say much to her past that point, choosing instead to try and calm her down, starting with a little rubbing of the withers.
>For what you thought was a sleek, hard black shell, it's surprisingly pliable, almost like skin.
"You know, here I thought today's events were enough to get me to hate Starlight. After hearing that, though? I almost want to talk to the big orange guy, to get some advice on building gas chambers."
[align=right]>"My shower designs are a trade secret, there's no way I would ever share them with you!"[/align]
[align=right]"Good thing I didn't ask then, huh?"[/align]
>She doesn't answer you, though you do feel her loosening up under your very amateurish handiwork.
"How long have you been down here?"
>"Too long."
"Good answer. Tell you what, one way or another, we're getting outta this dump in about a week's time."
>"'We'?"
"Oh, you wanted to stay longer?"
>"No! Absolutely not!" she shouts, spinning around to face you.
"Then you'll just have to suffer through the co-op then, won't you?"
>"And I'm supposed to believe that this isn't some elaborate plan of hers, to make me 'befriend' you?"
"Starlight? Plan?"
>"Oh, shut up!"
"Make me, later. Or now, since I'm hitting the sack. Right now."
>And with that, you unceremoniously flop back onto the cot.
>"Hey, what are you doing?! This is my bed!"
"Was your bed."
>"Why, you little...! Get off of my bed!"
"Make me~."
>She tries at first to shove and pull you off, but years of wrestling for bed dominance have immunized you against such manoeuvres, and she is entirely unsuccessful.
>What she does do, however, is decide on flopping down on top of you.
>"Fine then, subject. Have it your way. One way or another, I will get my good night's sleep."
>She just barely reels back a squeak, when your arms clasp around her.
"That, queenie, is the right answer."
>"Aagh, you're impossible!"
"Night-night."
>She grumbles overhead, but eventually does relax, nodding off sometime before you do.
[align=right]>"Aww, she was totally into you!"[/align]
[align=right]"Yeah, too bad I didn't figure that out sooner. Really dumb, in retrospect."[/align]
[align=right]>"But you're together now, and that's what matters, right?"[/align]
[align=right]"Right! But we're not quite done yet..."[/align]
File (): 675A2A8A054F1ECB0DCDFF4689B40886-505101.png (493.3 KB, 584x750, 1516437075253.png)
>>164930
>"Rise and shine, you two~!" calls an all-too-familiar nightmarish voice, breaking you from your pleasant dreams of horse pussy and cyclonic torpedoes.
>Your eyes bolt open, but you're prevented from moving by the sight of a certain bug-horse snuggled up next to you, giving you the universal sign of 'shut your fucking mouth', before her eyes shut again.
>"Come on, don't make me come over there~!"
>Too bad for Chrysalis, but you're gonna have to respectfully disagree with her assessment.
>Shimmying your pants down under the sheets, you ready yourself for the first of many unwelcome surprises for Starlight, over the coming days.
>"Okay, you asked for it~!"
>The sheets levitate off of you, followed by Starlight dangling the two of you up into the air like ragdolls.
>"Now, let's get to-- EEK!"
>Hook, line, and sinker.
>Starlight was treated to a bird's eye view of the real star of the show, Sir Anonymous von Horsefucker the third's mighty blade, 'Maresbane', unfortunately still in it's very flaccid state, but still fearsome enough to get Starlight to drop you two the moment she saw it.
>"A-A-Anon, what are you doing?!" Starlight squeaks, a furious blush overtaking what you're sure was supposed to be her blank mask from before.
"Yeah, good morning to you, too."
>"I'M SERIOUS!"
"I'm serious, too! What the fuck is wrong with you?"
>"With me?!"
"Yes, you! Do you just go around, pulling the sheets off of every sleeping couple you see, you little freak?"
>"I don't--"
"And ponies don't even wear clothes, either, so you get to see all the equipment on display, all the time! God, you are one sick fuck, you know that?"
>"I DO NOT PULL OFF--"
"Can you believe this sicko, Chrysalis?" you adlib, looking over to her with a disgusted look. "How little dick does this bitch get, that she has to catch couples in the act, in order to see any?"
>Chrysalis stops looking between you and your weapon of mass destruction, and you throw her a little wink.
>It was kind of jarring, how quickly she slipped into character.
>"Unbelievable! I have to survive on consuming the love of others, and even I don't stoop to such lows!"
>Man, she really nails the Victorian prude act, huh?
>If Starlight hadn't locked the two of you in a cage, and tried to torture you like that one poor bastard in A Clockwork Orange, you might have felt bad at her 'kicked puppy' expression.
"Despicable. Despicable! Absolutely fucking despicable! And you think you're qualified to teach us about being good friends? Yeah, why don't I call the Catholic Church to babysit my sons too, while I'm at it?"
>"B-but--"
"Out. Get the fuck out!"
>"I have nothing more to say to the likes of you!" Chrysalis adds.
>Breaking down into tears, Starlight books it out of the room.
"Yeah, that's right, go back to stalking Sunburst's Grindr page, you fucking degenerate!" you call out after her.
[align=right]>"Are you even cognizant of the irony of that statement?"[/align]
[align=right]"What, you just figured that out? God, get on my level."[/align]
[align=right]>Poor Leslie was too busy losing her shit once again, leaving you to wait for her gigglefit to cease.[/align]
[align=right]"Besides, everyone knows that Sunburst's porking his mom. Like, exclusively."[/align]
[align=right]>"What?! That skittish little freak engages in such filthy degeneracy?!"[/align]
[align=right]"Hey, I'm fucking jealous, man! If I weren't married, forget tapping that ass, I'd be drilling a well into that plot, and living off the juices until I was 80!"[/align]
[align=right]>"Stop! I don't need to hear this!"[/align]
[align=right]>Fortunately, Leslie recovers just in time, so that he doesn't have to hear more of that.[/align]
"And that, my buggy little companion, is how we do it in the hood."
>"I can't believe that actually worked."
"Believe it, baby. My dick pays rent, and it pays it quick."
>You stand back up and stow your highly illegal weaponry back in it's fabric sheath, Chrysalis's lingering gaze on it not escaping your notice.
"Now, looks like we've got the rest of the day to ourselves, don't we?"
>"Against all belief, yes."
"Guess we've gotta find something to spend it on, huh? The fuck do you even do, in here?"
>"I make do. But we can start by talking about disclosure."
>Uh-oh, here we go...
>"When did you plan on telling me about your little scheme, there?"
"I, ah, came up with it on the spot?"
>"Hmph. You're lucky that worked."
"Seriously though, A+ acting there. Totally cut minutes off of her 'break down crying' timer!"
>She's not quick enough to hide that proud little smile.
>"Well, you've set the precedent. You realize that you'll have to keep doing more and more risque things, to keep her from tormenting us?"
"You don't sound all that worried about the idea."
>"You're talking to the shapeshifter who literally eats love to survive. I know a thing or two about pushing buttons."
>Whoa nelly, that was one hell of a sexy voice, right there!
"Huh, touche."
>"Besides, going from her 'lessons' to scaring her off with simple innuendo is more than worth it."
"Oh, 'simple', is it?"
>"Very. Only somepony stuck in a high schooler's mindset would balk at being flashed like that."
>O-ouch, what did your pride do to deserve that?
[align=right]>"Ooh, she's really into you!"[/align]
[align=right]"I know, right?!"[/align]
"You know, you sure gawked a lot at the goods, for something so 'simple'."
>"Just studying what I'll have to work with," she replies off-handedly without skipping a beat. "Very weird for ponies, which will help a lot. Lacking in the size department, otherwise."
"If I had a dollar for every dick size quip I heard from a mare..."
>"Don't get any ideas, by the way. I'm considering helping you do this purely to escape this cage."
"Right, right."
>Somehow, you doubt that very much.
>"Rise and shine, you two~!" calls an all-too-familiar nightmarish voice, breaking you from your pleasant dreams of horse pussy and cyclonic torpedoes.
>Your eyes bolt open, but you're prevented from moving by the sight of a certain bug-horse snuggled up next to you, giving you the universal sign of 'shut your fucking mouth', before her eyes shut again.
>"Come on, don't make me come over there~!"
>Too bad for Chrysalis, but you're gonna have to respectfully disagree with her assessment.
>Shimmying your pants down under the sheets, you ready yourself for the first of many unwelcome surprises for Starlight, over the coming days.
>"Okay, you asked for it~!"
>The sheets levitate off of you, followed by Starlight dangling the two of you up into the air like ragdolls.
>"Now, let's get to-- EEK!"
>Hook, line, and sinker.
>Starlight was treated to a bird's eye view of the real star of the show, Sir Anonymous von Horsefucker the third's mighty blade, 'Maresbane', unfortunately still in it's very flaccid state, but still fearsome enough to get Starlight to drop you two the moment she saw it.
>"A-A-Anon, what are you doing?!" Starlight squeaks, a furious blush overtaking what you're sure was supposed to be her blank mask from before.
"Yeah, good morning to you, too."
>"I'M SERIOUS!"
"I'm serious, too! What the fuck is wrong with you?"
>"With me?!"
"Yes, you! Do you just go around, pulling the sheets off of every sleeping couple you see, you little freak?"
>"I don't--"
"And ponies don't even wear clothes, either, so you get to see all the equipment on display, all the time! God, you are one sick fuck, you know that?"
>"I DO NOT PULL OFF--"
"Can you believe this sicko, Chrysalis?" you adlib, looking over to her with a disgusted look. "How little dick does this bitch get, that she has to catch couples in the act, in order to see any?"
>Chrysalis stops looking between you and your weapon of mass destruction, and you throw her a little wink.
>It was kind of jarring, how quickly she slipped into character.
>"Unbelievable! I have to survive on consuming the love of others, and even I don't stoop to such lows!"
>Man, she really nails the Victorian prude act, huh?
>If Starlight hadn't locked the two of you in a cage, and tried to torture you like that one poor bastard in A Clockwork Orange, you might have felt bad at her 'kicked puppy' expression.
"Despicable. Despicable! Absolutely fucking despicable! And you think you're qualified to teach us about being good friends? Yeah, why don't I call the Catholic Church to babysit my sons too, while I'm at it?"
>"B-but--"
"Out. Get the fuck out!"
>"I have nothing more to say to the likes of you!" Chrysalis adds.
>Breaking down into tears, Starlight books it out of the room.
"Yeah, that's right, go back to stalking Sunburst's Grindr page, you fucking degenerate!" you call out after her.
[align=right]>"Are you even cognizant of the irony of that statement?"[/align]
[align=right]"What, you just figured that out? God, get on my level."[/align]
[align=right]>Poor Leslie was too busy losing her shit once again, leaving you to wait for her gigglefit to cease.[/align]
[align=right]"Besides, everyone knows that Sunburst's porking his mom. Like, exclusively."[/align]
[align=right]>"What?! That skittish little freak engages in such filthy degeneracy?!"[/align]
[align=right]"Hey, I'm fucking jealous, man! If I weren't married, forget tapping that ass, I'd be drilling a well into that plot, and living off the juices until I was 80!"[/align]
[align=right]>"Stop! I don't need to hear this!"[/align]
[align=right]>Fortunately, Leslie recovers just in time, so that he doesn't have to hear more of that.[/align]
"And that, my buggy little companion, is how we do it in the hood."
>"I can't believe that actually worked."
"Believe it, baby. My dick pays rent, and it pays it quick."
>You stand back up and stow your highly illegal weaponry back in it's fabric sheath, Chrysalis's lingering gaze on it not escaping your notice.
"Now, looks like we've got the rest of the day to ourselves, don't we?"
>"Against all belief, yes."
"Guess we've gotta find something to spend it on, huh? The fuck do you even do, in here?"
>"I make do. But we can start by talking about disclosure."
>Uh-oh, here we go...
>"When did you plan on telling me about your little scheme, there?"
"I, ah, came up with it on the spot?"
>"Hmph. You're lucky that worked."
"Seriously though, A+ acting there. Totally cut minutes off of her 'break down crying' timer!"
>She's not quick enough to hide that proud little smile.
>"Well, you've set the precedent. You realize that you'll have to keep doing more and more risque things, to keep her from tormenting us?"
"You don't sound all that worried about the idea."
>"You're talking to the shapeshifter who literally eats love to survive. I know a thing or two about pushing buttons."
>Whoa nelly, that was one hell of a sexy voice, right there!
"Huh, touche."
>"Besides, going from her 'lessons' to scaring her off with simple innuendo is more than worth it."
"Oh, 'simple', is it?"
>"Very. Only somepony stuck in a high schooler's mindset would balk at being flashed like that."
>O-ouch, what did your pride do to deserve that?
[align=right]>"Ooh, she's really into you!"[/align]
[align=right]"I know, right?!"[/align]
"You know, you sure gawked a lot at the goods, for something so 'simple'."
>"Just studying what I'll have to work with," she replies off-handedly without skipping a beat. "Very weird for ponies, which will help a lot. Lacking in the size department, otherwise."
"If I had a dollar for every dick size quip I heard from a mare..."
>"Don't get any ideas, by the way. I'm considering helping you do this purely to escape this cage."
"Right, right."
>Somehow, you doubt that very much.
>>164931
>The next day rolls in, and the two of you agreed to share the cot the previous night, facing towards one another to exchange plans come morning, which totally wasn't purely platonic cuddling.
>Seriously, this gal is real warm for a bug, and somehow has a faint hint of chocolate mint ice cream as a natural scent.
>How ponies, and apparently not-ponies, have these wonderful scents to them is beyond you, but you are far from complaining.
>"She'll be here any minute," Chrysalis whispers. "Any bright ideas?"
"Just one, playing around with the meatsicle."
>"'Meatsicle'? Really?"
"Hey, it's the most tasteful name I've got."
>She rolls her eyes, and moves her back leg to--
>HNNGH--!
>"Such a limited imagination," she coos in that hyper-sensual voice of hers, the frog of her back leg lightly pressing into your still clothed crotch. "Rod, shaft, pillar of flesh?"
>G-ground control to Major Tom, we have an unexpected new launch schedule!
>She starts grinding it into the rapidly expanding package, but just as it hits maximum stiffness, she pulls back.
"Wh-- Oh, come on!"
>"I told you not to get any ideas. I just prepared you for the next few minutes, is all."
"I'll remember this, you know."
>"You do that. Now don't lose that erection, I don't want to have to get it back for you."
[align=right]>"Wait, wait, hold on! I never heard anything like this, when you told the story!"[/align]
[align=right]"Well, duh? You don't talk about your every stiffy with your bros, that's fucking gay."[/align]
[align=right]>"What are you doing right now, then?!"[/align]
[align=right]"Haven't told a lot of stories to the ladies before, have you?"[/align]
[align=right]>When his look betrays confusion, you simply point him to his fiance, who is lightly blushing and panting.[/align]
[align=right]>"U-uh, Anon, why'd you stop?"[/align]
[align=right]"See?"[/align]
[align=right]>"U-unbelievable!"[/align]
[align=right]"The fuck do you mean, 'unbelievable'? You didn't think Fifty Shades sold well because of it's gripping story and high-quality prose, did you?"[/align]
[align=right]>"I-I will not hear any more of this!"[/align]
[align=right]>O-non takes that moment to head off into another room and shut the door behind him, to shield his pure Christian ears from your impending erotic serenade.[/align]
[align=right]"Ah, he'll learn. Now, where were we?"[/align]
>Resisting the urge to grumble, you flip onto your back and grip your mighty blade, keeping it stiff with a few errant thoughts of Chrysalis's previous little 'preparation'.
>Maintenance doesn't last long, thankfully, with the door heard opening mere moments later.
>That's when you start beating down upon the meat properly, making very sure to be as unsubtle as you can about it.
>"Good morning, you two--" Starlight starts, before gasping at your big, exaggerated auto-ministrations. "Oh come on, really?!"
>Yes, really, you fucking twatsicle.
>Chrysalis barely represses a snort of laughter at her reaction.
>"F-fine, I'll just... wait for you to finish!"
>Aww, she won't toss the covers off!
>Too easy, this mare!
>Starlight waits, and waits, and waits, but you just keep jacking, and jacking, and jacking, maintaining a crisp pace upon your hard and dangerous stiffy for what must be, oh, ten minutes, now?
>"Oh for the love of Celestia, what's taking you so long?!"
>Now you have to join Chryssy in suppressing a snort of laughter.
>Sadly, humour and erectivity don't go hand-in-hand, so Chryssy has to poke at it a few times to keep it nice and stable, to allow for maximum jerking potential.
>Another minute or so passes of nothing but fap--
>"Alright, that does it!" Starlight exclaims, her horn igniting.
>The covers are yanked off of you, but not before Starlight tactically spins you off to the side, where she can't see your junk.
>"Y-you should have gotten that out of your system, before I came here!"
"I did! But this little monster just keeps wanting more, and more!"
>"Ohmygosh, don't call it a 'monster'!"
"I need some way to tame the beast, man! Ooh, you're not seeing anyone right now, are you Starlight?"
>"I'M NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU!"
>Oh, thank God for that.
>You'll do a lot of things for pony pussy, but you won't do her.
>"Of course you won't," intones Chrysalis in that oh-so-sexy voice of hers, one of her very holey hooves rubbing along one of your thighs. "Leave it to me, to finish what you won't even start."
>"I-I don't--"
>"Hush, filly. The adults are talking."
>Ooh, you liked that shutdown a whole lot!
>Chrysalis simply looks you in the eyes, her expression somewhere between enjoyment and reluctance, before bringing a foreleg up to her mouth.
>Her tongue comes out, a long, flexible item, and she begins slobbering up one of the holes on her leg.
>Wait.
>Wait just a minute here, she's not about to do what you think she's gonna do, is she?
>"Pay attention, filly," she starts, bringing that foreleg up to your now gently throbbing member. "This is how you keep his little beast tamed."
>And with minimal alignment on her part, she plunges the wet leg hole down atop your dick.
>To call the sensation 'unique' would be an accurate statement, the slightly pliable skin texture meshing with both the heat from her foreleg, and the ample amount of lubrication she left in there for you.
>Yeah, there was no way you weren't groaning out loud, and that's exactly what you do.
>She 'hilts' the appendage in short order, the now glistening tip of your member poking out for her viewing pleasure, a pleasure she's taking great lengths to conceal from both you and Starlight.
>Jesus Christ, you only just met this bug, and you love her already!
>All Starlight can do is stare, slack-jawed and dumbstruck, as Chrysalis just straight-up uses her leg hole to jerk you off, right in plain sight.
>The next day rolls in, and the two of you agreed to share the cot the previous night, facing towards one another to exchange plans come morning, which totally wasn't purely platonic cuddling.
>Seriously, this gal is real warm for a bug, and somehow has a faint hint of chocolate mint ice cream as a natural scent.
>How ponies, and apparently not-ponies, have these wonderful scents to them is beyond you, but you are far from complaining.
>"She'll be here any minute," Chrysalis whispers. "Any bright ideas?"
"Just one, playing around with the meatsicle."
>"'Meatsicle'? Really?"
"Hey, it's the most tasteful name I've got."
>She rolls her eyes, and moves her back leg to--
>HNNGH--!
>"Such a limited imagination," she coos in that hyper-sensual voice of hers, the frog of her back leg lightly pressing into your still clothed crotch. "Rod, shaft, pillar of flesh?"
>G-ground control to Major Tom, we have an unexpected new launch schedule!
>She starts grinding it into the rapidly expanding package, but just as it hits maximum stiffness, she pulls back.
"Wh-- Oh, come on!"
>"I told you not to get any ideas. I just prepared you for the next few minutes, is all."
"I'll remember this, you know."
>"You do that. Now don't lose that erection, I don't want to have to get it back for you."
[align=right]>"Wait, wait, hold on! I never heard anything like this, when you told the story!"[/align]
[align=right]"Well, duh? You don't talk about your every stiffy with your bros, that's fucking gay."[/align]
[align=right]>"What are you doing right now, then?!"[/align]
[align=right]"Haven't told a lot of stories to the ladies before, have you?"[/align]
[align=right]>When his look betrays confusion, you simply point him to his fiance, who is lightly blushing and panting.[/align]
[align=right]>"U-uh, Anon, why'd you stop?"[/align]
[align=right]"See?"[/align]
[align=right]>"U-unbelievable!"[/align]
[align=right]"The fuck do you mean, 'unbelievable'? You didn't think Fifty Shades sold well because of it's gripping story and high-quality prose, did you?"[/align]
[align=right]>"I-I will not hear any more of this!"[/align]
[align=right]>O-non takes that moment to head off into another room and shut the door behind him, to shield his pure Christian ears from your impending erotic serenade.[/align]
[align=right]"Ah, he'll learn. Now, where were we?"[/align]
>Resisting the urge to grumble, you flip onto your back and grip your mighty blade, keeping it stiff with a few errant thoughts of Chrysalis's previous little 'preparation'.
>Maintenance doesn't last long, thankfully, with the door heard opening mere moments later.
>That's when you start beating down upon the meat properly, making very sure to be as unsubtle as you can about it.
>"Good morning, you two--" Starlight starts, before gasping at your big, exaggerated auto-ministrations. "Oh come on, really?!"
>Yes, really, you fucking twatsicle.
>Chrysalis barely represses a snort of laughter at her reaction.
>"F-fine, I'll just... wait for you to finish!"
>Aww, she won't toss the covers off!
>Too easy, this mare!
>Starlight waits, and waits, and waits, but you just keep jacking, and jacking, and jacking, maintaining a crisp pace upon your hard and dangerous stiffy for what must be, oh, ten minutes, now?
>"Oh for the love of Celestia, what's taking you so long?!"
>Now you have to join Chryssy in suppressing a snort of laughter.
>Sadly, humour and erectivity don't go hand-in-hand, so Chryssy has to poke at it a few times to keep it nice and stable, to allow for maximum jerking potential.
>Another minute or so passes of nothing but fap--
>"Alright, that does it!" Starlight exclaims, her horn igniting.
>The covers are yanked off of you, but not before Starlight tactically spins you off to the side, where she can't see your junk.
>"Y-you should have gotten that out of your system, before I came here!"
"I did! But this little monster just keeps wanting more, and more!"
>"Ohmygosh, don't call it a 'monster'!"
"I need some way to tame the beast, man! Ooh, you're not seeing anyone right now, are you Starlight?"
>"I'M NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU!"
>Oh, thank God for that.
>You'll do a lot of things for pony pussy, but you won't do her.
>"Of course you won't," intones Chrysalis in that oh-so-sexy voice of hers, one of her very holey hooves rubbing along one of your thighs. "Leave it to me, to finish what you won't even start."
>"I-I don't--"
>"Hush, filly. The adults are talking."
>Ooh, you liked that shutdown a whole lot!
>Chrysalis simply looks you in the eyes, her expression somewhere between enjoyment and reluctance, before bringing a foreleg up to her mouth.
>Her tongue comes out, a long, flexible item, and she begins slobbering up one of the holes on her leg.
>Wait.
>Wait just a minute here, she's not about to do what you think she's gonna do, is she?
>"Pay attention, filly," she starts, bringing that foreleg up to your now gently throbbing member. "This is how you keep his little beast tamed."
>And with minimal alignment on her part, she plunges the wet leg hole down atop your dick.
>To call the sensation 'unique' would be an accurate statement, the slightly pliable skin texture meshing with both the heat from her foreleg, and the ample amount of lubrication she left in there for you.
>Yeah, there was no way you weren't groaning out loud, and that's exactly what you do.
>She 'hilts' the appendage in short order, the now glistening tip of your member poking out for her viewing pleasure, a pleasure she's taking great lengths to conceal from both you and Starlight.
>Jesus Christ, you only just met this bug, and you love her already!
>All Starlight can do is stare, slack-jawed and dumbstruck, as Chrysalis just straight-up uses her leg hole to jerk you off, right in plain sight.
>>164932
[align=right]>"O-ohmygosh, she actually did that for you?!"[/align]
[align=right]"Well, wouldn't be telling you about it, if she didn't! Too bad she doesn't do it very often..."[/align]
[align=right]>"It's wasteful, honey," coos Chrysalis from behind, wrapping her forelegs around your chest and kissing your neck. "All those potential nymphs you could have given me..."[/align]
[align=right]"Hey, variety's the spice of life!" you exclaim, without skipping a beat.[/align]
[align=right]>"Mmmm, all right, maybe I'll treat you tonight," she purrs. "But you're not finishing anywhere but the usual spot, got it~?"[/align]
[align=right]"You could just, you know, catch the schmoo mid-air, and--"[/align]
[align=right]>"It's not the same as feeling it fire inside!"[/align]
[align=right]"Geez, all right. Nothing ever comes between you and the kids, huh?"[/align]
[align=right]>"Nothing. And don't you forget it~."[/align]
[align=right]>Rolling your eyes, you pivot around and give Chrysalis a kiss.[/align]
[align=right]>It's only when you break contact, that you notice Leslie rooted to her seat, ears pinned back and her face bright red, her expression somewhere between 'god this is fucking hot' and 'holy shit i am so dead right now'.[/align]
[align=right]>"Oh, I could taste your lust from all the way over at the hive," Chrysalis answers without ever being asked. "So, what's the occasion, Anon?"[/align]
[align=right]"An intervention, this time. She's getting hitched, and she's not doing it for kids!"[/align]
[align=right]>"Well, that's definitely a problem," she intones. "I suppose we'll have to put her in the mood, then~..."[/align]
[align=right]"Damn skippy. And your timing is impeccable, because I was just about to get to that part!"[/align]
>Chrysalis moves her leg at a nice, steady pace, constantly adjusting her speed to keep you well under your busting limits, almost like she has a sixth sense for it.
>That is to say, she's really, really good at this; toe-curlingly good, in fact.
>By the minute mark, you'd stopped caring about having Starlight fuck off, instead just throwing your head back, and letting this beautiful, incredible bug-mare work her magic on you.
>Somewhere along the line, she picks up her pace, bringing you ever-so-closer to the edge, and keeping you right there.
>"Well, I can see why you're popular with the mares," says Chrysalis, that slight pant to her voice not escaping your notice. "Endurance is definitely your specialty, isn't it?"
>A throaty 'uh-huh' is all she gets in response.
>"Oh, you're still here, filly? Goodness, if you wanted to join us that badly, you just had to ask. Why don't you come on in, I'm sure Anon would be happy to have you..."
>No you damn well wouldn't be, but you could see her game, all the same.
>Couldn't see Starlight, sadly, but at this juncture, you wouldn't ever want to, anyways.
>"That's it, come on." she coos, her increase in pace making you question if that was meant for you, or her.
>"N-n-no... No! I-I won't be drawn into your evil schemes!"
>"Fine," she half-grumbles. "Have it your way. Because I know I'll be having him my way~..."
>She ups her pace at almost the perfect time, your finish screaming even closer.
>She holds you right at that teetering point for a few moments, and--
>"Look at me, Anon," she commands in that ever-sexier baritone of hers.
>You're a simple man: when a lady says to look at her, that's what you do, and when you see Chrysalis facing you head-on, her head hovering over your member and her eyes locked onto yours, that's almost enough to make you blow right then, and there.
>Fortunately, she has other plans.
>Her maw opens, and her tongue filters out, the long, slippery appendage coiling around near the head, where she wasn't going at it with her hoof-hole.
>That was entirely too much, and you grunt and jerk upwards in tandem with your release, but you get to see her take the head into her mouth, just before you throw your head back.
>All semblance of control lost, you open fire into her maw, each throb drawing a gasping, shuddering groan out of you.
>Even after your climax draws to a close, you feel her tongue continuing to idly stroke your still-stiff soldier, and the sudden new addition of suction around your cockhead almost makes you black out, right then and there.
>Summoning whatever energy was left to you, you look back down at this masterful bug-mare, who was sitting there the whole time, waiting for you to look.
>Uncoiling and withdrawing her tongue with a little slurp first, she pulls her mouth off of the head with a quiet pop, and makes a show of swirling your cum around in her mouth, before growing a mile-wide smirk, tilting her head back, and swallowing.
>The throb that draws out of you is made all the better, when you realize you're still hilted inside of her hoof-hole.
>You can confidently say, that this was the absolute best blow you'd ever gotten, bar none.
[align=right]>"And don't you forget it~."[/align]
[align=right]"Couldn't pay me enough to forget it! Really makes me look forward to your little 'treat', you know?"[/align]
[align=right]>"Oh, just you wait..."[/align]
>Off to the side, Starlight's whimpering could be heard, and you look over just in time to see her bolt back through the door, the small puddle left where she was sitting definitely not escaping your notice.
>"You know, I think you were dead-on when you called her a voyeur," Chrysalis remarks, idly stroking your slowly softening member. "Though she definitely leaves a lot to be desired in the self-control department. Honestly, I've seen old kitchen sinks less leaky than her."
"Y-you think?" you groan in response.
[align=right]>"O-ohmygosh, she actually did that for you?!"[/align]
[align=right]"Well, wouldn't be telling you about it, if she didn't! Too bad she doesn't do it very often..."[/align]
[align=right]>"It's wasteful, honey," coos Chrysalis from behind, wrapping her forelegs around your chest and kissing your neck. "All those potential nymphs you could have given me..."[/align]
[align=right]"Hey, variety's the spice of life!" you exclaim, without skipping a beat.[/align]
[align=right]>"Mmmm, all right, maybe I'll treat you tonight," she purrs. "But you're not finishing anywhere but the usual spot, got it~?"[/align]
[align=right]"You could just, you know, catch the schmoo mid-air, and--"[/align]
[align=right]>"It's not the same as feeling it fire inside!"[/align]
[align=right]"Geez, all right. Nothing ever comes between you and the kids, huh?"[/align]
[align=right]>"Nothing. And don't you forget it~."[/align]
[align=right]>Rolling your eyes, you pivot around and give Chrysalis a kiss.[/align]
[align=right]>It's only when you break contact, that you notice Leslie rooted to her seat, ears pinned back and her face bright red, her expression somewhere between 'god this is fucking hot' and 'holy shit i am so dead right now'.[/align]
[align=right]>"Oh, I could taste your lust from all the way over at the hive," Chrysalis answers without ever being asked. "So, what's the occasion, Anon?"[/align]
[align=right]"An intervention, this time. She's getting hitched, and she's not doing it for kids!"[/align]
[align=right]>"Well, that's definitely a problem," she intones. "I suppose we'll have to put her in the mood, then~..."[/align]
[align=right]"Damn skippy. And your timing is impeccable, because I was just about to get to that part!"[/align]
>Chrysalis moves her leg at a nice, steady pace, constantly adjusting her speed to keep you well under your busting limits, almost like she has a sixth sense for it.
>That is to say, she's really, really good at this; toe-curlingly good, in fact.
>By the minute mark, you'd stopped caring about having Starlight fuck off, instead just throwing your head back, and letting this beautiful, incredible bug-mare work her magic on you.
>Somewhere along the line, she picks up her pace, bringing you ever-so-closer to the edge, and keeping you right there.
>"Well, I can see why you're popular with the mares," says Chrysalis, that slight pant to her voice not escaping your notice. "Endurance is definitely your specialty, isn't it?"
>A throaty 'uh-huh' is all she gets in response.
>"Oh, you're still here, filly? Goodness, if you wanted to join us that badly, you just had to ask. Why don't you come on in, I'm sure Anon would be happy to have you..."
>No you damn well wouldn't be, but you could see her game, all the same.
>Couldn't see Starlight, sadly, but at this juncture, you wouldn't ever want to, anyways.
>"That's it, come on." she coos, her increase in pace making you question if that was meant for you, or her.
>"N-n-no... No! I-I won't be drawn into your evil schemes!"
>"Fine," she half-grumbles. "Have it your way. Because I know I'll be having him my way~..."
>She ups her pace at almost the perfect time, your finish screaming even closer.
>She holds you right at that teetering point for a few moments, and--
>"Look at me, Anon," she commands in that ever-sexier baritone of hers.
>You're a simple man: when a lady says to look at her, that's what you do, and when you see Chrysalis facing you head-on, her head hovering over your member and her eyes locked onto yours, that's almost enough to make you blow right then, and there.
>Fortunately, she has other plans.
>Her maw opens, and her tongue filters out, the long, slippery appendage coiling around near the head, where she wasn't going at it with her hoof-hole.
>That was entirely too much, and you grunt and jerk upwards in tandem with your release, but you get to see her take the head into her mouth, just before you throw your head back.
>All semblance of control lost, you open fire into her maw, each throb drawing a gasping, shuddering groan out of you.
>Even after your climax draws to a close, you feel her tongue continuing to idly stroke your still-stiff soldier, and the sudden new addition of suction around your cockhead almost makes you black out, right then and there.
>Summoning whatever energy was left to you, you look back down at this masterful bug-mare, who was sitting there the whole time, waiting for you to look.
>Uncoiling and withdrawing her tongue with a little slurp first, she pulls her mouth off of the head with a quiet pop, and makes a show of swirling your cum around in her mouth, before growing a mile-wide smirk, tilting her head back, and swallowing.
>The throb that draws out of you is made all the better, when you realize you're still hilted inside of her hoof-hole.
>You can confidently say, that this was the absolute best blow you'd ever gotten, bar none.
[align=right]>"And don't you forget it~."[/align]
[align=right]"Couldn't pay me enough to forget it! Really makes me look forward to your little 'treat', you know?"[/align]
[align=right]>"Oh, just you wait..."[/align]
>Off to the side, Starlight's whimpering could be heard, and you look over just in time to see her bolt back through the door, the small puddle left where she was sitting definitely not escaping your notice.
>"You know, I think you were dead-on when you called her a voyeur," Chrysalis remarks, idly stroking your slowly softening member. "Though she definitely leaves a lot to be desired in the self-control department. Honestly, I've seen old kitchen sinks less leaky than her."
"Y-you think?" you groan in response.
>>164933
>"Great performance, by the way. With that kind of endurance, I wouldn't be shocked if you could keep up with an alicorn."
>She pulls her hoof off of your cock before you can respond, a small gasp escaping as it lightly pops free, the spit- and pre-coated hole following the limb back to solid ground.
"A-alicorns are overrated, trust me, you chuckle. "Heh, s-sounds like you enjoyed yourself..."
>"Better than I expected. And much better in terms of taste. Been a long time, since I've tasted anything quite that... bestial, that primal."
"You're welcome. Hoo, sorry, I just need a minute..."
>While you catch your breath on the floor, Chryssy sits back on top of the cot, licking out the mess you left in her hoof-hole, something which takes far less time than your own recovery.
"Good," you finally say, standing back up. "I'm good, now."
>"That's quite a refractory period."
"I make do. Why, interested in another round?"
>"No. At least, not until she returns."
"Aww, 'cause you know, when we get out of--"
>"If we get out of here."
"When we get out of here," you continue, "And if you're still DTF, I wouldn't mind a more long-term fling, you know? I mean, you're already way better at this than any pony I've ever--"
>"Not interested."
"Aww, not even a little?"
>"More than a little. But I'm not interested in a 'fling', as you put it."
"Wait, really? How come?"
>She looks off to the side, avoiding your eyes.
>"I need something more... permanent. As in, lifelong permanent."
"Ohh, I getcha. Holding out for that one true love, huh?"
>"I don't know if I'd quite call it that," she quietly replies, "But yes, I am."
"All right, so matchmaker it is, then!" you chirp, taking a seat next to her. "Any strapping bachelors jumping out at ya?"
>"Nothing Equestrian, and certainly not here."
"Well shit, there goes just about my whole list..."
>"Besides, nothing would ever willingly stay by my side. Changelings shapeshift for a reason."
"Now that, my buggy partner-in-crime, is a complete load."
>"Don't try to flatter me."
"Bitch, I ain't flattering shit," you say, pulling her head to face you with a tactical hand under the chin. "Ponies have the worst fucking taste in looks, anyways. I mean, who the fuck hooks up with Mrs. Cake? Willingly, at that? As in, without enough liquor in your system to kill a herd of goats?"
[align=right]"I still think Mr. Cake was threatened at knifepoint to marry her, you know. She has to have mafia connections, or something."[/align]
[align=right]>"Oh, she does. He had a springtime fling with her, left her a little more than good memories, and the next thing you know, his name suspiciously changes to just 'Mr. Cake'."[/align]
[align=right]"Fuck, her papa couldn't have been happy about that."[/align]
[align=right]>"What, you mean some strapping young stranger coming along and knocking up your only successor isn't grounds to lose your mind?"[/align]
[align=right]"Hell, I wouldn't have bothered leaving him alive."[/align]
[align=right]>"Ah, but you don't have any beautiful daughters to have stolen away," she coos, before leaning in and whispering into your ear: "At least, not yet~..."[/align]
[align=right]"Chryssy, when we get there, promise me we'll co-op manhunt the first fucker to try putting the moves on her."[/align]
[align=right]>"Promise," she finishes, sealing it with a kiss.[/align]
"Look, point is, you're smoking hot."
>"You're a liar."
"No, I'm an asshole, there's a difference. Mama didn't raise no liar."
>"Do I look like an idiot, to you? Every single race on this planet runs and hides at the sight of me."
"Then every single race on this planet has the worst fucking taste in the universe, because this Earthling's telling you that holy hot damn, you're the hottest thing since snorting cayenne pepper. 11-outta-10."
>When the initial surprise passes by, she scrutinizes your face for any signs of lying on your part.
>Evidently, she finds none.
>"You... really think that, don't you?"
"Better believe it, bugbutt."
>D'aww, she's blushing!
>Someone's not used to getting hit on, out of costume!
[align=right]>"Could you blame me?"[/align]
[align=right]"Well, you've got no excuse now, hot stuff."[/align]
>"Oh, sh-shut up!" she huffs, turning away in the most tsundere possible way there is to turn away. "I give you a little attention, and all of a sudden you want to take me out to dinner?"
"I wasn't going to, but that is a great idea! Any favourite spots?"
>"W-would you just--"
"I vote this one minotaur-run place, off in an alley here in town. Super sketchy, and the maze motif is kinda chintzy, but boy do they have the best meat in town! And for way less than those kike griffons charge you for it!"
>"M-meat?" she mutters, turning back just enough to look you in the eyes.
"These puppies ain't for show," you reply, flashing your meat-shredding chompers for her. "And I'll bet those big teeth you've got ain't for show, either."
>Chrysalis spends a few moments debating internally with herself, her eyes flicking over to you every so often.
>"You're serious, aren't you?" she asks quietly, almost shyly.
"Serious as can be, babe. You and me, I think we've got something to expand on, here! I can feel it in my scrote!"
>She snorts, turning away for a brief moment, before turning back with a cautiously optimistic smile.
>"Fine. I have no idea why you're so eager to try and woo me, of all ponies. But if you're so set on getting a chance to do it, you'll get one. Just don't be surprised when you don't measure up."
>Woohoo, score one for team Ape Escape!
>There's no hiding the fist-pump you make, nor would you ever want to.
>"Great performance, by the way. With that kind of endurance, I wouldn't be shocked if you could keep up with an alicorn."
>She pulls her hoof off of your cock before you can respond, a small gasp escaping as it lightly pops free, the spit- and pre-coated hole following the limb back to solid ground.
"A-alicorns are overrated, trust me, you chuckle. "Heh, s-sounds like you enjoyed yourself..."
>"Better than I expected. And much better in terms of taste. Been a long time, since I've tasted anything quite that... bestial, that primal."
"You're welcome. Hoo, sorry, I just need a minute..."
>While you catch your breath on the floor, Chryssy sits back on top of the cot, licking out the mess you left in her hoof-hole, something which takes far less time than your own recovery.
"Good," you finally say, standing back up. "I'm good, now."
>"That's quite a refractory period."
"I make do. Why, interested in another round?"
>"No. At least, not until she returns."
"Aww, 'cause you know, when we get out of--"
>"If we get out of here."
"When we get out of here," you continue, "And if you're still DTF, I wouldn't mind a more long-term fling, you know? I mean, you're already way better at this than any pony I've ever--"
>"Not interested."
"Aww, not even a little?"
>"More than a little. But I'm not interested in a 'fling', as you put it."
"Wait, really? How come?"
>She looks off to the side, avoiding your eyes.
>"I need something more... permanent. As in, lifelong permanent."
"Ohh, I getcha. Holding out for that one true love, huh?"
>"I don't know if I'd quite call it that," she quietly replies, "But yes, I am."
"All right, so matchmaker it is, then!" you chirp, taking a seat next to her. "Any strapping bachelors jumping out at ya?"
>"Nothing Equestrian, and certainly not here."
"Well shit, there goes just about my whole list..."
>"Besides, nothing would ever willingly stay by my side. Changelings shapeshift for a reason."
"Now that, my buggy partner-in-crime, is a complete load."
>"Don't try to flatter me."
"Bitch, I ain't flattering shit," you say, pulling her head to face you with a tactical hand under the chin. "Ponies have the worst fucking taste in looks, anyways. I mean, who the fuck hooks up with Mrs. Cake? Willingly, at that? As in, without enough liquor in your system to kill a herd of goats?"
[align=right]"I still think Mr. Cake was threatened at knifepoint to marry her, you know. She has to have mafia connections, or something."[/align]
[align=right]>"Oh, she does. He had a springtime fling with her, left her a little more than good memories, and the next thing you know, his name suspiciously changes to just 'Mr. Cake'."[/align]
[align=right]"Fuck, her papa couldn't have been happy about that."[/align]
[align=right]>"What, you mean some strapping young stranger coming along and knocking up your only successor isn't grounds to lose your mind?"[/align]
[align=right]"Hell, I wouldn't have bothered leaving him alive."[/align]
[align=right]>"Ah, but you don't have any beautiful daughters to have stolen away," she coos, before leaning in and whispering into your ear: "At least, not yet~..."[/align]
[align=right]"Chryssy, when we get there, promise me we'll co-op manhunt the first fucker to try putting the moves on her."[/align]
[align=right]>"Promise," she finishes, sealing it with a kiss.[/align]
"Look, point is, you're smoking hot."
>"You're a liar."
"No, I'm an asshole, there's a difference. Mama didn't raise no liar."
>"Do I look like an idiot, to you? Every single race on this planet runs and hides at the sight of me."
"Then every single race on this planet has the worst fucking taste in the universe, because this Earthling's telling you that holy hot damn, you're the hottest thing since snorting cayenne pepper. 11-outta-10."
>When the initial surprise passes by, she scrutinizes your face for any signs of lying on your part.
>Evidently, she finds none.
>"You... really think that, don't you?"
"Better believe it, bugbutt."
>D'aww, she's blushing!
>Someone's not used to getting hit on, out of costume!
[align=right]>"Could you blame me?"[/align]
[align=right]"Well, you've got no excuse now, hot stuff."[/align]
>"Oh, sh-shut up!" she huffs, turning away in the most tsundere possible way there is to turn away. "I give you a little attention, and all of a sudden you want to take me out to dinner?"
"I wasn't going to, but that is a great idea! Any favourite spots?"
>"W-would you just--"
"I vote this one minotaur-run place, off in an alley here in town. Super sketchy, and the maze motif is kinda chintzy, but boy do they have the best meat in town! And for way less than those kike griffons charge you for it!"
>"M-meat?" she mutters, turning back just enough to look you in the eyes.
"These puppies ain't for show," you reply, flashing your meat-shredding chompers for her. "And I'll bet those big teeth you've got ain't for show, either."
>Chrysalis spends a few moments debating internally with herself, her eyes flicking over to you every so often.
>"You're serious, aren't you?" she asks quietly, almost shyly.
"Serious as can be, babe. You and me, I think we've got something to expand on, here! I can feel it in my scrote!"
>She snorts, turning away for a brief moment, before turning back with a cautiously optimistic smile.
>"Fine. I have no idea why you're so eager to try and woo me, of all ponies. But if you're so set on getting a chance to do it, you'll get one. Just don't be surprised when you don't measure up."
>Woohoo, score one for team Ape Escape!
>There's no hiding the fist-pump you make, nor would you ever want to.
>>164934
>"Now shut up and go to bed. I want you at least somewhat capable of getting it up, for our next attempt at a disappearing act."
"Way ahead of you, Chryssy," you yawn, splaying out across the bed.
>"D-did you just call me, 'Chryssy'?"
"I did just call you Chryssy, Chryssy," you wink. "Unless you prefer 'bugbutt', of course?"
>Your attempt to squeeze that rear end of hers is met with failure before it even begins, as she lights up her horn to swat those hands away from her posterior.
>"No, it's... fine," she finally decides on saying, before laying herself down on top of you again. "Just remember, no funny business until she gets here."
"But I'm a funny guy! You can't just destroy the economy like that!"
>"Shut up and go to sleep, will you?"
"Fine, fine."
[align=right]>"You know, you never did take me out to that minotaur place."[/align]
[align=right]"I didn't figure out until after I'd chased you down, but those same kike griffons hiked their rent so damn high, that they had to shutter the doors. Fuckers Jewed out the competition."[/align]
[align=right]>"Good thing we cleared out Griffonstone, then."[/align]
[align=right]"O-non's still salty about that, you know."[/align]
[align=right]>"Good for him. Now, our friend here's getting a little, oh, hot and bothered. Want me to make something to cool her down, a bit?"[/align]
[align=right]"Oh, I think she's earned it. Just don't cool her off too much, you know?"[/align]
[align=right]>"I know, honey. The usual for you?"[/align]
[align=right]"Yes, please."[/align]
[align=right]>Kissing you once more, Chrysalis trots off to the kitchen to brew up those teas.[/align]
[align=right]"Still with me, Leslie? Good, because the best part's just coming up!"[/align]
>You're woken up by the sound of the door opening, and Chrysalis's eyes shoot open at about the same time as yours.
>Now, normally this is where Starlight would be cheering for you to 'rise and shine', and all that, so the fact that she isn't is more than a little concerning.
>You don't even realize you're holding your black, holey partner close by, until she holds on tight, herself.
>Something is definitely very wrong here.
>Unfortunately, your fears are soon vindicated in the worst possible way.
>All at once, the sheets are practically ripped off of you two, and with almost Herculean magic force, the two of you are lifted into the air and pulled apart like ragdolls, held in place at either side of the cells.
>"No more!" Starlight all but screams, the insanity now very clearly visible in her dark-ringed, haggard eyes. "I've had enough, enough, ENOUGH OF THIS! Heeheheheh, y-you two aren't gonna s-stop me from being your f-friend, YOU HEAR ME?!"
>Mr. President, take us to DEFCON 1!
"Well, good! I don't want to be your friend, anyways!"
>"YOU'LL BE MY FRIEND, AND YOU'LL LIKE IT!"
"Oh right, because friends totally lock each other in cells, and manhandle them around with magic! You know, if anyone's being a shitty friend here, it's you!"
>"DON'T BACKSASS ME, ANON!"
>She flips you upside-down, pre-empting any response you could have given her.
>The new angle lets you see Chryssy trying to poke her horn out of the bars, deforming a weird magic forcefield you didn't notice was around the bars, as she goes.
>Shit, she's trying to break out?
>Okay, it's distraction time!
"You know, you can do whatever you want with me, but I'm still telling Twilight all about this!"
>"Nehehehehe, d-don't be silly, Anon! Sh-she doesn't have to know, ABOUT ANY OF THIS!"
"Oh, is that what you told those poor fucks, back at your village?"
>"YES! Heehehee, a-and it worked, IT WORKED! And it'll work juuuuust the same with you!"
"I'll pass on the brainwashing, thanks. Jesus, someone really needed to dick the commie out of you, a long time ago."
>"HAH! HAHAHAHAH, ANOTHER DICKING JOKE! WHOOHOHOHO, YOU'RE SO BUCKING ORIGINAL!"
>"Actually, in an alternate timeline, his orange friend did boink the Marx out of you, Starlight!" calls Pinkie Pie, stretching her neck all the way down through the top bars. "In fact, that alternate timeline is over here: https://pastebin.com/dVJCbqXS"
"Wait, when the fuck did you show up?! And why aren't you helping me?!"
>"I'm just here for the author's shameless self-promotion, silly! Whoo, off I go!"
"Hey, wait--!"
>Too late, Pinkie's disappeared into the Warp.
"Come back here, you coward! Don't leave me here!"
>"BOY, YOU REALLY LOVE TO BRING THAT VULGAR LITTLE THING INTO EVERY CONVERSATION WE HAVE, DON'T YOU?!" screams Starlight, her voice beginning to go hoarse. "WELL, I THINK IT'S DISGUSTING!"
"I'm not boning you, you crazy fucking horse. Not even a hate-fuck!"
>An impish, demonic laugh escapes her throat, and she brings out...
>Oh, hell no.
>Oh, hell no!
>Where the fuck did she get that complete set of traditional Jewish circumcision equipment, bloodstains included?!
>"THE FIRST PART OF MAKING FRIENDS, IS MAKING SOME COMPROMISES!"
"Get that shit away from me, you crazy fucking horse!"
>She yanks your pants down and starts sharpening the blades, and in that moment, you feel true, mortal terror grip you.
>"I REALLY HAD TO SCARE THOSE GRIFFONS INTO GIVING THIS UP, ANON! I HOPE YOU APPRECIATE THE LENGTHS I GO TO FOR OUR FRIENDSHIP, ANON! NOW HOLD STILL, ANON!"
>Oh, no, nonononono, fuck this noise!
>Someone help!
>Kynareth, Akatosh, Shub-Niggurath, O-non, mein Fuhrer, Atlas, the God of Succ, anyone, please hear this prayer!
>FZZWT
>Starlight doesn't even cry out, dropping like a sack of potatoes once that green magic bolt hits her upside the head, and by extension, dropping you out of her telekinetic grasp, where you land flat on your ass.
>"Now shut up and go to bed. I want you at least somewhat capable of getting it up, for our next attempt at a disappearing act."
"Way ahead of you, Chryssy," you yawn, splaying out across the bed.
>"D-did you just call me, 'Chryssy'?"
"I did just call you Chryssy, Chryssy," you wink. "Unless you prefer 'bugbutt', of course?"
>Your attempt to squeeze that rear end of hers is met with failure before it even begins, as she lights up her horn to swat those hands away from her posterior.
>"No, it's... fine," she finally decides on saying, before laying herself down on top of you again. "Just remember, no funny business until she gets here."
"But I'm a funny guy! You can't just destroy the economy like that!"
>"Shut up and go to sleep, will you?"
"Fine, fine."
[align=right]>"You know, you never did take me out to that minotaur place."[/align]
[align=right]"I didn't figure out until after I'd chased you down, but those same kike griffons hiked their rent so damn high, that they had to shutter the doors. Fuckers Jewed out the competition."[/align]
[align=right]>"Good thing we cleared out Griffonstone, then."[/align]
[align=right]"O-non's still salty about that, you know."[/align]
[align=right]>"Good for him. Now, our friend here's getting a little, oh, hot and bothered. Want me to make something to cool her down, a bit?"[/align]
[align=right]"Oh, I think she's earned it. Just don't cool her off too much, you know?"[/align]
[align=right]>"I know, honey. The usual for you?"[/align]
[align=right]"Yes, please."[/align]
[align=right]>Kissing you once more, Chrysalis trots off to the kitchen to brew up those teas.[/align]
[align=right]"Still with me, Leslie? Good, because the best part's just coming up!"[/align]
>You're woken up by the sound of the door opening, and Chrysalis's eyes shoot open at about the same time as yours.
>Now, normally this is where Starlight would be cheering for you to 'rise and shine', and all that, so the fact that she isn't is more than a little concerning.
>You don't even realize you're holding your black, holey partner close by, until she holds on tight, herself.
>Something is definitely very wrong here.
>Unfortunately, your fears are soon vindicated in the worst possible way.
>All at once, the sheets are practically ripped off of you two, and with almost Herculean magic force, the two of you are lifted into the air and pulled apart like ragdolls, held in place at either side of the cells.
>"No more!" Starlight all but screams, the insanity now very clearly visible in her dark-ringed, haggard eyes. "I've had enough, enough, ENOUGH OF THIS! Heeheheheh, y-you two aren't gonna s-stop me from being your f-friend, YOU HEAR ME?!"
>Mr. President, take us to DEFCON 1!
"Well, good! I don't want to be your friend, anyways!"
>"YOU'LL BE MY FRIEND, AND YOU'LL LIKE IT!"
"Oh right, because friends totally lock each other in cells, and manhandle them around with magic! You know, if anyone's being a shitty friend here, it's you!"
>"DON'T BACKSASS ME, ANON!"
>She flips you upside-down, pre-empting any response you could have given her.
>The new angle lets you see Chryssy trying to poke her horn out of the bars, deforming a weird magic forcefield you didn't notice was around the bars, as she goes.
>Shit, she's trying to break out?
>Okay, it's distraction time!
"You know, you can do whatever you want with me, but I'm still telling Twilight all about this!"
>"Nehehehehe, d-don't be silly, Anon! Sh-she doesn't have to know, ABOUT ANY OF THIS!"
"Oh, is that what you told those poor fucks, back at your village?"
>"YES! Heehehee, a-and it worked, IT WORKED! And it'll work juuuuust the same with you!"
"I'll pass on the brainwashing, thanks. Jesus, someone really needed to dick the commie out of you, a long time ago."
>"HAH! HAHAHAHAH, ANOTHER DICKING JOKE! WHOOHOHOHO, YOU'RE SO BUCKING ORIGINAL!"
>"Actually, in an alternate timeline, his orange friend did boink the Marx out of you, Starlight!" calls Pinkie Pie, stretching her neck all the way down through the top bars. "In fact, that alternate timeline is over here: https://pastebin.com/dVJCbqXS"
"Wait, when the fuck did you show up?! And why aren't you helping me?!"
>"I'm just here for the author's shameless self-promotion, silly! Whoo, off I go!"
"Hey, wait--!"
>Too late, Pinkie's disappeared into the Warp.
"Come back here, you coward! Don't leave me here!"
>"BOY, YOU REALLY LOVE TO BRING THAT VULGAR LITTLE THING INTO EVERY CONVERSATION WE HAVE, DON'T YOU?!" screams Starlight, her voice beginning to go hoarse. "WELL, I THINK IT'S DISGUSTING!"
"I'm not boning you, you crazy fucking horse. Not even a hate-fuck!"
>An impish, demonic laugh escapes her throat, and she brings out...
>Oh, hell no.
>Oh, hell no!
>Where the fuck did she get that complete set of traditional Jewish circumcision equipment, bloodstains included?!
>"THE FIRST PART OF MAKING FRIENDS, IS MAKING SOME COMPROMISES!"
"Get that shit away from me, you crazy fucking horse!"
>She yanks your pants down and starts sharpening the blades, and in that moment, you feel true, mortal terror grip you.
>"I REALLY HAD TO SCARE THOSE GRIFFONS INTO GIVING THIS UP, ANON! I HOPE YOU APPRECIATE THE LENGTHS I GO TO FOR OUR FRIENDSHIP, ANON! NOW HOLD STILL, ANON!"
>Oh, no, nonononono, fuck this noise!
>Someone help!
>Kynareth, Akatosh, Shub-Niggurath, O-non, mein Fuhrer, Atlas, the God of Succ, anyone, please hear this prayer!
>FZZWT
>Starlight doesn't even cry out, dropping like a sack of potatoes once that green magic bolt hits her upside the head, and by extension, dropping you out of her telekinetic grasp, where you land flat on your ass.
>>164936
[align=right]"I still have nightmares about that attempt, you know."[/align]
[align=right]>"Oh, honey, you didn't have to mention that part..."[/align]
[align=right]"No, it's fine. This gal needs the full context of what happened."[/align]
[align=right]>"If you say so, Anon. Do you want me to take over from here?"[/align]
[align=right]"No, I'll be fine. Thanks though, sweetheart."[/align]
[align=right]>The two of you share another kiss, before you jump right back into the story.[/align]
>Chryssy's painful-sounding landing draws you away from the sight of Starlight being laid the fuck out, and you turn to see her splayed out on her back, her horn glowing a dark red, and lightly smoking.
"Chryssy!" you exclaim, rushing over to her side. "Christ, are you okay?"
>"S-somehow..."
>She tries to reject your help, right up until she realizes that she can't stand under her own power, quickly settling on letting you carry her around.
>"B-bathroom..."
>Expecting her to hurl, you carry the surprisingly heavy bug-mare over to the toilet, where she proceeds to instead quench her still-glowing horn in the water, the porcelain cracking under the sudden heat, and leaking water everywhere.
>"Ahh, much better..."
"Jesus, you sure you're all right?"
>"Just winded and low on magic. I'll live."
>You try and run a hand through her mane, in some attempt to calm her down, but she bats it away and looks over at Starlight.
>"Damn it, I didn't think she'd fall that far away! Can you reach her from here?"
"Sure, I can try."
>"Then do it!"
>Setting her down, you head over to the bars, and try reaching your hand through towards her limp, yet still breathing body.
>Key word being 'try', since you can't reach her, your hand coming up two inches short.
"Oh, get fucked!"
>"Let me try!"
>You double back and grab Chryssy again, putting her next to the bars, and letting her take a crack at reaching for Starlight.
>Unfortunately, she also comes up short.
>"Aaaaagh, come on!"
"Fuck my life, we're so close! Isn't there something you can do?"
>"Not without more magic, and I'm not waiting around for her to wake back up!"
"Hey, wait a second. Why didn't you do that magic bolt thing, before?"
>"Because I needed to-- Wait, that's it! I just need another shot of love, then we can get out of here!"
"Say what, now?"
>"Ugh, that thing I did from yesterday, the cuddling, all of that powers me up, feeds me!"
"Oh yeah, you did say something about that. Wait a minute, you mean you want to...?"
>"Yes!"
"Now?"
>"Now!"
"Well, I've had quickies on shorter notice, I guess," you shrug, reaching down for your pants, only to find that oh yeah, they're already gone. "So, you gonna skip the hoof-holes, and go straight for the tongue--?"
>"No time, that'll power me up too slowly!" she says, looking off to the side for a brief moment. "Can't believe I'm actually letting him do this..."
"Huh? Wait, you're going right for the main event?"
>"Oh, quiet! You're making this more awkward than it needs to be!"
"Who, me? I'm DTF anytime, what're you talking about?"
>"I-it's just... Oh, damn it, you'll see!"
>Okay, this is the same lady who just demonstrated her master's degree in succ yesterday.
>She should not be getting this antsy over jumping right into a full-course screw.
"Uh, hey, is it me?"
>"Yes! I mean-- Ugh, just..."
>Ooookay, super curious about this, now.
>Swallowing dry, Chrysalis begins to slowly and shakily turn in place, her tail now pinning itself down.
"Look, if you're not cool with it, we don't have to--"
>"No, no! It's just that, I-I--!"
>Yeah, this is quite enough pussyfooting for you.
>Rolling your eyes, you grab hold of her rear end and turn her around, facing that thin, buggy posterior towards you proper.
>"Aah! H-hold on, I--"
>You grab hold of her tail and lift it straight up.
"Look, if it's a scar or something, I'm sure we can work around it."
>She freezes up, and you swear you hear her whimper a little, very out of character for her.
>Well, you don't know what has her so worried; despite her very buggy heritage, her equipment sure looked like standard pony-issue stuff.
>Well, okay, maybe the darker-green flesh making up the opening was pretty different, but hey, horse pussy's different from human pussy, so you know, you can work with it!
>A shudder runs through her, and she winks at you, the dull, neon-green pearl popping out to say hello--
>Oh.
>Ohhhhh.
>That's what she was so nervous about.
>Resting directly behind her otherwise pony-like clitoris, was a set of six tiny little 'fingers', three on each side, a tiny, skin-covered point at the end of each one, almost like a covered-up fingernail.
>The appendages seemed to clench gently around nothing, in time with her winking.
>That's, uh...
>"Go on, say it. I know what you're going to say. That it's absolutely dis--"
"Fucking hot? Why yes, yes it is."
>"I knew it, I should've just-- W-wait hold on, what?!"
[align=right]>"I still can't believe you think it's that attractive!"[/align]
[align=right]"Oh, my dear sweet lovely wife, you have no idea how schlong-shudderingly hot it is."[/align]
[align=right]>"Oh, I've got a good idea. I'm just saying, it's so strange to--"[/align]
[align=right]"Forgotten who you got hitched to, already?"[/align]
[align=right]>"Realized the second it left my mouth."[/align]
[align=right]"Don't you forget it. Now, let's get back to the story, shall we?"[/align]
>"I knew you were a liar. There's no possible way you can-- Aaah~!"
"I told you, mama didn't raise herself no liar," you repeat, poking at the bug-mare's pearl. "And my dad always taught me to appreciate the things the ladies bring to the table, ya feel me?"
[align=right]"I still have nightmares about that attempt, you know."[/align]
[align=right]>"Oh, honey, you didn't have to mention that part..."[/align]
[align=right]"No, it's fine. This gal needs the full context of what happened."[/align]
[align=right]>"If you say so, Anon. Do you want me to take over from here?"[/align]
[align=right]"No, I'll be fine. Thanks though, sweetheart."[/align]
[align=right]>The two of you share another kiss, before you jump right back into the story.[/align]
>Chryssy's painful-sounding landing draws you away from the sight of Starlight being laid the fuck out, and you turn to see her splayed out on her back, her horn glowing a dark red, and lightly smoking.
"Chryssy!" you exclaim, rushing over to her side. "Christ, are you okay?"
>"S-somehow..."
>She tries to reject your help, right up until she realizes that she can't stand under her own power, quickly settling on letting you carry her around.
>"B-bathroom..."
>Expecting her to hurl, you carry the surprisingly heavy bug-mare over to the toilet, where she proceeds to instead quench her still-glowing horn in the water, the porcelain cracking under the sudden heat, and leaking water everywhere.
>"Ahh, much better..."
"Jesus, you sure you're all right?"
>"Just winded and low on magic. I'll live."
>You try and run a hand through her mane, in some attempt to calm her down, but she bats it away and looks over at Starlight.
>"Damn it, I didn't think she'd fall that far away! Can you reach her from here?"
"Sure, I can try."
>"Then do it!"
>Setting her down, you head over to the bars, and try reaching your hand through towards her limp, yet still breathing body.
>Key word being 'try', since you can't reach her, your hand coming up two inches short.
"Oh, get fucked!"
>"Let me try!"
>You double back and grab Chryssy again, putting her next to the bars, and letting her take a crack at reaching for Starlight.
>Unfortunately, she also comes up short.
>"Aaaaagh, come on!"
"Fuck my life, we're so close! Isn't there something you can do?"
>"Not without more magic, and I'm not waiting around for her to wake back up!"
"Hey, wait a second. Why didn't you do that magic bolt thing, before?"
>"Because I needed to-- Wait, that's it! I just need another shot of love, then we can get out of here!"
"Say what, now?"
>"Ugh, that thing I did from yesterday, the cuddling, all of that powers me up, feeds me!"
"Oh yeah, you did say something about that. Wait a minute, you mean you want to...?"
>"Yes!"
"Now?"
>"Now!"
"Well, I've had quickies on shorter notice, I guess," you shrug, reaching down for your pants, only to find that oh yeah, they're already gone. "So, you gonna skip the hoof-holes, and go straight for the tongue--?"
>"No time, that'll power me up too slowly!" she says, looking off to the side for a brief moment. "Can't believe I'm actually letting him do this..."
"Huh? Wait, you're going right for the main event?"
>"Oh, quiet! You're making this more awkward than it needs to be!"
"Who, me? I'm DTF anytime, what're you talking about?"
>"I-it's just... Oh, damn it, you'll see!"
>Okay, this is the same lady who just demonstrated her master's degree in succ yesterday.
>She should not be getting this antsy over jumping right into a full-course screw.
"Uh, hey, is it me?"
>"Yes! I mean-- Ugh, just..."
>Ooookay, super curious about this, now.
>Swallowing dry, Chrysalis begins to slowly and shakily turn in place, her tail now pinning itself down.
"Look, if you're not cool with it, we don't have to--"
>"No, no! It's just that, I-I--!"
>Yeah, this is quite enough pussyfooting for you.
>Rolling your eyes, you grab hold of her rear end and turn her around, facing that thin, buggy posterior towards you proper.
>"Aah! H-hold on, I--"
>You grab hold of her tail and lift it straight up.
"Look, if it's a scar or something, I'm sure we can work around it."
>She freezes up, and you swear you hear her whimper a little, very out of character for her.
>Well, you don't know what has her so worried; despite her very buggy heritage, her equipment sure looked like standard pony-issue stuff.
>Well, okay, maybe the darker-green flesh making up the opening was pretty different, but hey, horse pussy's different from human pussy, so you know, you can work with it!
>A shudder runs through her, and she winks at you, the dull, neon-green pearl popping out to say hello--
>Oh.
>Ohhhhh.
>That's what she was so nervous about.
>Resting directly behind her otherwise pony-like clitoris, was a set of six tiny little 'fingers', three on each side, a tiny, skin-covered point at the end of each one, almost like a covered-up fingernail.
>The appendages seemed to clench gently around nothing, in time with her winking.
>That's, uh...
>"Go on, say it. I know what you're going to say. That it's absolutely dis--"
"Fucking hot? Why yes, yes it is."
>"I knew it, I should've just-- W-wait hold on, what?!"
[align=right]>"I still can't believe you think it's that attractive!"[/align]
[align=right]"Oh, my dear sweet lovely wife, you have no idea how schlong-shudderingly hot it is."[/align]
[align=right]>"Oh, I've got a good idea. I'm just saying, it's so strange to--"[/align]
[align=right]"Forgotten who you got hitched to, already?"[/align]
[align=right]>"Realized the second it left my mouth."[/align]
[align=right]"Don't you forget it. Now, let's get back to the story, shall we?"[/align]
>"I knew you were a liar. There's no possible way you can-- Aaah~!"
"I told you, mama didn't raise herself no liar," you repeat, poking at the bug-mare's pearl. "And my dad always taught me to appreciate the things the ladies bring to the table, ya feel me?"
>>164937
>That prodding finger of yours slides on up into her opening, where you let those wet, slippery 'fingers' clasp around it, squeezing it with a fairly surprising amount of force.
"Well, I'm sure you're feeling me right about now, huh?"
>No doubt about that, if the long, shuddering moan she just gave you is any indication.
>"N-no way-- Aaaaaah~!"
>Ooh, those little digits hold on real tight; not even that little tug of yours can get them to let go!
>Already, you're imagining those things going to town on your cock, and you quickly decide to not leave that in the realm of imagination for any longer.
"Say, wanna let the poor little guy go, down there? The big guy's getting a touch jealous."
>You let her know just how jealous the big guy is, plopping said quickly hardening object between her thighs, where it achieves maximum stiffness in no time at all.
>Funny, rubbing it along her underside a little, it doesn't feel like she's got any teats to work with.
>Oh well, you can live without them.
>"Nngh... f-fine," she hisses, unclenching her inner fingers and allowing you to withdraw your hand.
>Without further ado, you take your member and start rubbing it along her opening, finding it's quite wet enough for you to make a smooth entrance.
>Making sure to angle yourself to make as much contact with her inner fingers as you can, you begin pushing--
>"W-wait."
>Huh?
>"Listen, okay? Th-this is really, really important."
"Sure, what is it?"
>She looks back at you, her flushed, lustful look being pushed out a little by a serious one.
>"I just need a few minutes of sex to get a good charge going, all right? Do not, I repeat, do not come inside of me, do you understand?"
>Aww, what?!
"Come on, we--"
>"This is serious! Look, I'll finish you off with my mouth, or legs, or whatever else you want, just don't finish inside me."
"Fine," you grumble, resuming your course and slowly slipping into her surprisingly warm opening.
[align=right]>Leslie looked like she wanted to ask something, but it just kind of came out as a mumble, what with her eyes glazed a little, her blush achieving new levels of redness, and the fact that she's busy nursing a nosebleed with one of your napkins.[/align]
[align=right]>"Yes, that warning did go unheeded," Chrysalis answers, again without being asked.[/align]
[align=right]"Don't get me wrong, though: I wasn't trying to go against the grain, that time. Hear me out, here..."[/align]
>The two of you groan as you work your way inside of her, the texture of her insides feeling a bit more smooth and slippery than the slightly bumpy, rippling flesh of most other mares.
>That, coupled with her very present and accounted for fluids, made the extra bit of tightness a non-issue, and soon enough, your groin connects with her rear end, the tip just barely grazing something deep inside, as you bottom out.
>Chrysalis gasps after you finish burying yourself inside her, those inner fingers of hers coming to life as she winks against your balls, gently wrapping themselves around the base of your penis, but never gripping onto it as tight as they did your finger.
>Tight hold or not, the sensation draws a breathy groan out of you, and you stay buried in Chrysalis for a few moments, just savouring what she's doing to you.
>"Oooh~," she coos, mirroring your feelings exactly. "S-sorry, I'm not used to somepony doing this, well, willingly..."
>She punctuates that last line with a little clench of the 'fingers', successfully milking another groan out of you as they graduate up to gentle strokes.
"Aah...! Y-you mean, folks don't usually-- Aah! F-feel the extra digits?"
>Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, it's hard enough keeping your composure when screwing a pony: this extra bit of stimulation was really jacking the difficulty, in more ways than one!
>"I, uh, hide them away whenever I transform..."
"Heheh, f-fuckers don't know what they're missiiiiiii~ng...!"
>D-do you even have to do anything, at this point?
>She could probably just finish you off, without you ever moving!
>"A-anyways, you plan on letting me do all the work?" she shoots back, regaining a good chunk of her former confidence.
>Well, who are you to turn down a request like that?
>You begin your thrusting in earnest, starting off nice and slow as you are wont to do, slowly ramping up the pace as the moments drag on.
>And boy is there extra emphasis on drag, because holy shit, those finger things of hers are pulling off some serious multi-tasking: you get to feel the already amazing sensation of boning this stupidly hot bug-mare, while the motions of you doing so serve to have the 'fingers' jerking you off, mid-coitus.
>Couple that with her rather generous output of fluids, and her constant adjustment of the finger's positions, having them rub all kinds of errant spots on your cock, and Jesus H. Christ, this may be the first ever recorded instance of 'ribbed for his pleasure'!
>Chrysalis, meanwhile, gave up on keeping things under wraps a little while ago, freely moaning and shuddering with every thrust, even pressing her rear against you whenever a hilting was in order.
>You know she'd never admit it, but she needed this bad, and lucky for her, you're the best delivery boy there is.
[align=right]>"Come on, the bad puns are for the kids, not for me!"[/align]
[align=right]"Everyone's entitled to a little pun-ishment, don't you think?"[/align]
[align=right]>"Oh, shut up, you."[/align]
[align=right]"But I can't keep telling the story, if I did that![/align]
>Somewhere along the line, her horn begins glowing, which you take as a sign that she's getting juiced up nicely.
>Man, powered up with sweet, sweet lovin'?
>If only 'heart' involved this, it'd actually be remotely useful, and might even make Captain Planet less of a raging gaylord.
>That prodding finger of yours slides on up into her opening, where you let those wet, slippery 'fingers' clasp around it, squeezing it with a fairly surprising amount of force.
"Well, I'm sure you're feeling me right about now, huh?"
>No doubt about that, if the long, shuddering moan she just gave you is any indication.
>"N-no way-- Aaaaaah~!"
>Ooh, those little digits hold on real tight; not even that little tug of yours can get them to let go!
>Already, you're imagining those things going to town on your cock, and you quickly decide to not leave that in the realm of imagination for any longer.
"Say, wanna let the poor little guy go, down there? The big guy's getting a touch jealous."
>You let her know just how jealous the big guy is, plopping said quickly hardening object between her thighs, where it achieves maximum stiffness in no time at all.
>Funny, rubbing it along her underside a little, it doesn't feel like she's got any teats to work with.
>Oh well, you can live without them.
>"Nngh... f-fine," she hisses, unclenching her inner fingers and allowing you to withdraw your hand.
>Without further ado, you take your member and start rubbing it along her opening, finding it's quite wet enough for you to make a smooth entrance.
>Making sure to angle yourself to make as much contact with her inner fingers as you can, you begin pushing--
>"W-wait."
>Huh?
>"Listen, okay? Th-this is really, really important."
"Sure, what is it?"
>She looks back at you, her flushed, lustful look being pushed out a little by a serious one.
>"I just need a few minutes of sex to get a good charge going, all right? Do not, I repeat, do not come inside of me, do you understand?"
>Aww, what?!
"Come on, we--"
>"This is serious! Look, I'll finish you off with my mouth, or legs, or whatever else you want, just don't finish inside me."
"Fine," you grumble, resuming your course and slowly slipping into her surprisingly warm opening.
[align=right]>Leslie looked like she wanted to ask something, but it just kind of came out as a mumble, what with her eyes glazed a little, her blush achieving new levels of redness, and the fact that she's busy nursing a nosebleed with one of your napkins.[/align]
[align=right]>"Yes, that warning did go unheeded," Chrysalis answers, again without being asked.[/align]
[align=right]"Don't get me wrong, though: I wasn't trying to go against the grain, that time. Hear me out, here..."[/align]
>The two of you groan as you work your way inside of her, the texture of her insides feeling a bit more smooth and slippery than the slightly bumpy, rippling flesh of most other mares.
>That, coupled with her very present and accounted for fluids, made the extra bit of tightness a non-issue, and soon enough, your groin connects with her rear end, the tip just barely grazing something deep inside, as you bottom out.
>Chrysalis gasps after you finish burying yourself inside her, those inner fingers of hers coming to life as she winks against your balls, gently wrapping themselves around the base of your penis, but never gripping onto it as tight as they did your finger.
>Tight hold or not, the sensation draws a breathy groan out of you, and you stay buried in Chrysalis for a few moments, just savouring what she's doing to you.
>"Oooh~," she coos, mirroring your feelings exactly. "S-sorry, I'm not used to somepony doing this, well, willingly..."
>She punctuates that last line with a little clench of the 'fingers', successfully milking another groan out of you as they graduate up to gentle strokes.
"Aah...! Y-you mean, folks don't usually-- Aah! F-feel the extra digits?"
>Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, it's hard enough keeping your composure when screwing a pony: this extra bit of stimulation was really jacking the difficulty, in more ways than one!
>"I, uh, hide them away whenever I transform..."
"Heheh, f-fuckers don't know what they're missiiiiiii~ng...!"
>D-do you even have to do anything, at this point?
>She could probably just finish you off, without you ever moving!
>"A-anyways, you plan on letting me do all the work?" she shoots back, regaining a good chunk of her former confidence.
>Well, who are you to turn down a request like that?
>You begin your thrusting in earnest, starting off nice and slow as you are wont to do, slowly ramping up the pace as the moments drag on.
>And boy is there extra emphasis on drag, because holy shit, those finger things of hers are pulling off some serious multi-tasking: you get to feel the already amazing sensation of boning this stupidly hot bug-mare, while the motions of you doing so serve to have the 'fingers' jerking you off, mid-coitus.
>Couple that with her rather generous output of fluids, and her constant adjustment of the finger's positions, having them rub all kinds of errant spots on your cock, and Jesus H. Christ, this may be the first ever recorded instance of 'ribbed for his pleasure'!
>Chrysalis, meanwhile, gave up on keeping things under wraps a little while ago, freely moaning and shuddering with every thrust, even pressing her rear against you whenever a hilting was in order.
>You know she'd never admit it, but she needed this bad, and lucky for her, you're the best delivery boy there is.
[align=right]>"Come on, the bad puns are for the kids, not for me!"[/align]
[align=right]"Everyone's entitled to a little pun-ishment, don't you think?"[/align]
[align=right]>"Oh, shut up, you."[/align]
[align=right]"But I can't keep telling the story, if I did that![/align]
>Somewhere along the line, her horn begins glowing, which you take as a sign that she's getting juiced up nicely.
>Man, powered up with sweet, sweet lovin'?
>If only 'heart' involved this, it'd actually be remotely useful, and might even make Captain Planet less of a raging gaylord.
>>164938
>"Nngh...! A-almost theeeere~!"
>What a funny turn of coincidence, feeling your own finish flashing it's approach lights, at the same time as she starts to cast some kind of spell.
>"J-just a minute more, and we'll be out of here!"
>Can't argue with results like that!
>Deciding it'd be smart to not skirt her warnings about blowing inside, you ramp your pace down a touch, just enough to keep the finish line that much further away.
>She does groan her disapproval a little bit, but you're pretty sure she got the memo, since she's not pressing you to go faster.
>"Aaah~!"
>God, her moans are the best you've ever heard!
>"Haaaah...!"
>The voice alone was one thing, but the echoing effect just made them sound so much better!
>"Nngh..."
>Huh, what'd she stop echoing there, for?
>"Oooooh~!"
>Ahh, there it is!
>"Ooh, my head..."
>And now she stopped again!
>The fuck is--
>"Wh-who's making that noise?"
>The realization of who just spoke in that voice stops you both dead in your tracks: quite literally in your case, with her muscles and fingers clamping down tight enough to keep you from moving an inch, right as you finish hilting her.
>The sight of Starlight picking herself up off the floor is a serious mood-killer, for the pair of you.
>"Anon, get me to the bars, quick!" Chrysalis whisper-shouts your way, an order you're in no position to disagree with.
>With her unyielding grip on your manhood still intact, you're forced to fill in for her back legs, all but shoving her against the bars, where she pokes her horn out between them, and starts casting a big, glowy spell of some kind.
>What really grabs your attention, however, is the feeling of poking at something deep inside her, what feels like that same something you were never able to poke at again, after the first thrust into her.
>Wait, shit, she's casting spells, right!
>A green magic bolt flies out of her horn, zapping Starlight back into unconsciousness, thank God.
>Unfortunately, it also knocked her back even further, much to Chrysalis's dismay.
>"No, no! Damn it, I need another charge, fast!"
"D-don't know if I can do faster, babe...!"
>She gasps a little at what you're implying, and from the look she's giving you, she's pretty torn between getting out of here, and keeping you from filling her up.
>"B-but, I...! Damn it, okay, listen," she half-pleads, her muscles finally releasing their hold on your dick, "Go as fast as you can, but please, please pull out. Please?"
>Shit, she's more scared of that prospect than you thought.
"S-sure thing, Chryssy," you groan, before resuming your pace from before.
>Okay, keep yourself going longer, you can do that!
>Just think about that terrible first time you had, with that Lyra chick's friend--
>"No, don't think bad thoughts! That kills how much you're charging me up!"
"Well, what the fuck?!"
>"Just try to hold back as much as possible, okay?"
>Goddamn fucking Starlight, ruining this shit again!
>Okay, fine, you'll just have to make do!
>Chryssy doesn't leave lasting longer all to you, however: she pulls her 'fingers' off of your cock, letting just her walls do the work, and she's not trying to hilt you anymore.
>Despite all the assistance, your teeter ever so closer to the finish line, with every thrust you make into her.
>"I'm almost done, just hold out for another minute!"
>A minute, seriously?!
>That's really pushing it, but you'll try!
>You try to vary things up with quick, shallow thrusts, but this ultimately doesn't do very much to stave off your very close climax.
>Gritting your teeth and shutting your eyes, you do your best to try and squeeze in a few more seconds for her.
>"There, I've got it--!"
>"OH NO, YOU DON'T!" bellows Starlight.
>Chrysalis gasps, and pushes herself back on instinct.
>Things from that moment on proceed in slow-motion: you're knocked off-balance by the motion, and sent falling backwards onto your ass, Chrysalis's muscles and 'fingers' once again reflexively taking hold of your cock, her rear end coming along for the ride.
>It's that landing, coupled with the impact of her rump against your crotch, that finally does you in.
>Loosing a guttural scream of pleasure, you throb hard inside her, the first jet of spunk firing out of your cock with enough force to be heard splattering against her insides.
>Everything after that first shot happens very, very quickly.
>Your eyes are still shut, but you can see a bright green light flashing from somewhere, most likely Chrysalis, and ramping up in intensity with every consecutive shot you fire into her.
>Her yell is the first thing that really draws your attention, however: a loud, guttural cry of her own, peaking with every throb your cock makes, trying to fill her.
>Soon after that, the thing deep inside her you poked at before instead pokes at you, and you can feel whatever it is kissing the tip after the third jet, forming a seal and drinking in everything you give it.
>After that, comes the sound of magic coupled with things breaking, picking up in intensity, again, with every rope of semen she receives, until it sounds like a fucking twister is all around you, come shot number four.
>You're just barely aware of your iron grip on her hips, keeping her firmly held in place, and you're together enough to count seven, eight, nine, ten spurts fired into her.
>Even after you finish giving her everything you've got, you can still hear her protracted cries, and feel the storm of magic around you, but you don't dare open your eyes yet, and not just for a lack of energy.
>Then, after a few agonizing seconds, everything falls silent, save for the sounds of you and Chrysalis panting.
>Now, you finally risk opening your eyes.
>The unmoving, shaking form of Chrysalis is the first thing you see, but your focus quickly shifts off to the side, where...
>Whoa.
>"Nngh...! A-almost theeeere~!"
>What a funny turn of coincidence, feeling your own finish flashing it's approach lights, at the same time as she starts to cast some kind of spell.
>"J-just a minute more, and we'll be out of here!"
>Can't argue with results like that!
>Deciding it'd be smart to not skirt her warnings about blowing inside, you ramp your pace down a touch, just enough to keep the finish line that much further away.
>She does groan her disapproval a little bit, but you're pretty sure she got the memo, since she's not pressing you to go faster.
>"Aaah~!"
>God, her moans are the best you've ever heard!
>"Haaaah...!"
>The voice alone was one thing, but the echoing effect just made them sound so much better!
>"Nngh..."
>Huh, what'd she stop echoing there, for?
>"Oooooh~!"
>Ahh, there it is!
>"Ooh, my head..."
>And now she stopped again!
>The fuck is--
>"Wh-who's making that noise?"
>The realization of who just spoke in that voice stops you both dead in your tracks: quite literally in your case, with her muscles and fingers clamping down tight enough to keep you from moving an inch, right as you finish hilting her.
>The sight of Starlight picking herself up off the floor is a serious mood-killer, for the pair of you.
>"Anon, get me to the bars, quick!" Chrysalis whisper-shouts your way, an order you're in no position to disagree with.
>With her unyielding grip on your manhood still intact, you're forced to fill in for her back legs, all but shoving her against the bars, where she pokes her horn out between them, and starts casting a big, glowy spell of some kind.
>What really grabs your attention, however, is the feeling of poking at something deep inside her, what feels like that same something you were never able to poke at again, after the first thrust into her.
>Wait, shit, she's casting spells, right!
>A green magic bolt flies out of her horn, zapping Starlight back into unconsciousness, thank God.
>Unfortunately, it also knocked her back even further, much to Chrysalis's dismay.
>"No, no! Damn it, I need another charge, fast!"
"D-don't know if I can do faster, babe...!"
>She gasps a little at what you're implying, and from the look she's giving you, she's pretty torn between getting out of here, and keeping you from filling her up.
>"B-but, I...! Damn it, okay, listen," she half-pleads, her muscles finally releasing their hold on your dick, "Go as fast as you can, but please, please pull out. Please?"
>Shit, she's more scared of that prospect than you thought.
"S-sure thing, Chryssy," you groan, before resuming your pace from before.
>Okay, keep yourself going longer, you can do that!
>Just think about that terrible first time you had, with that Lyra chick's friend--
>"No, don't think bad thoughts! That kills how much you're charging me up!"
"Well, what the fuck?!"
>"Just try to hold back as much as possible, okay?"
>Goddamn fucking Starlight, ruining this shit again!
>Okay, fine, you'll just have to make do!
>Chryssy doesn't leave lasting longer all to you, however: she pulls her 'fingers' off of your cock, letting just her walls do the work, and she's not trying to hilt you anymore.
>Despite all the assistance, your teeter ever so closer to the finish line, with every thrust you make into her.
>"I'm almost done, just hold out for another minute!"
>A minute, seriously?!
>That's really pushing it, but you'll try!
>You try to vary things up with quick, shallow thrusts, but this ultimately doesn't do very much to stave off your very close climax.
>Gritting your teeth and shutting your eyes, you do your best to try and squeeze in a few more seconds for her.
>"There, I've got it--!"
>"OH NO, YOU DON'T!" bellows Starlight.
>Chrysalis gasps, and pushes herself back on instinct.
>Things from that moment on proceed in slow-motion: you're knocked off-balance by the motion, and sent falling backwards onto your ass, Chrysalis's muscles and 'fingers' once again reflexively taking hold of your cock, her rear end coming along for the ride.
>It's that landing, coupled with the impact of her rump against your crotch, that finally does you in.
>Loosing a guttural scream of pleasure, you throb hard inside her, the first jet of spunk firing out of your cock with enough force to be heard splattering against her insides.
>Everything after that first shot happens very, very quickly.
>Your eyes are still shut, but you can see a bright green light flashing from somewhere, most likely Chrysalis, and ramping up in intensity with every consecutive shot you fire into her.
>Her yell is the first thing that really draws your attention, however: a loud, guttural cry of her own, peaking with every throb your cock makes, trying to fill her.
>Soon after that, the thing deep inside her you poked at before instead pokes at you, and you can feel whatever it is kissing the tip after the third jet, forming a seal and drinking in everything you give it.
>After that, comes the sound of magic coupled with things breaking, picking up in intensity, again, with every rope of semen she receives, until it sounds like a fucking twister is all around you, come shot number four.
>You're just barely aware of your iron grip on her hips, keeping her firmly held in place, and you're together enough to count seven, eight, nine, ten spurts fired into her.
>Even after you finish giving her everything you've got, you can still hear her protracted cries, and feel the storm of magic around you, but you don't dare open your eyes yet, and not just for a lack of energy.
>Then, after a few agonizing seconds, everything falls silent, save for the sounds of you and Chrysalis panting.
>Now, you finally risk opening your eyes.
>The unmoving, shaking form of Chrysalis is the first thing you see, but your focus quickly shifts off to the side, where...
>Whoa.
File (): 1A27B17E399BE242830DF344004E4E7F-1163541.png (1.1 MB, 1095x1080, 1528920136793.png)
>>164939
"Holy shit," you whisper, gawking at the devastation around you.
>The entire room was completely demolished, the bars of the cell uprooted and scattered, some of them staked into the walls.
"Holy shit," you repeat.
>You powered her up enough, to do all of this?!
>Sweet merciful Christ, how the fuck does that even work?!
>"N-no..."
>Chrysalis's voice snaps your attention right back onto her, and what you see is, well, not what you'd call encouraging.
>She still sat in your lap, your cock still gripped in place, but now she was clutching her belly with a hoof, her whole body shaking and her eyes wide open, her pupils the size of pinpricks.
>She was in shock, disbelief, and was quickly becoming very, very scared.
>"W-why did...?"
"Chryssy? You okay?"
>When her terrified look flips over to you, you can't help but feel like you just made a terrible mistake.
>"You... I-I told you..."
>When said terrified look flips to rage, you know that you just made an even more horrible mistake.
>"You bastard!" she all but screams at you, pulling off of your lap as fast as she possibly can. "I told you, I begged you to pull out!"
"Look, I couldn't--"
>SMACK
"Yeow!" you cry out, your head snapped right to the side at the smack she just delivered straight to your face.
>"You're horrible! You're despicable!" she continues screaming, tears now beginning to well in her eyes.
"W-wait a minute--"
>"I never want to see you, ever again!"
>With that final line, she bolts out of the room, droplets of tears following in her wake.
"Wait, stop!" you call out to her, only to be met without any response.
>Oh, dear God in heaven, how badly did you just screw up?!
>Damn it, you've gotta find her!
[align=right]>"W-wait, hold on, what?!" Leslie exclaims, the bad ending almost totally breaking her out of her haze. "Where did that come from?!"[/align]
[align=right]>"Not exactly one of our proudest moments, I'll admit. I didn't realize that Anon couldn't pull himself out..."[/align]
[align=right]"And I had absolutely no idea that I'd managed to knock her up, big time. Didn't realize that changelings did the whole cross-species breeding thing, no magic required."[/align]
[align=right]>"B-but how'd you two end up back together, after that?!"[/align]
[align=right]>"Well, it wasn't easy. He had a lot of explaining and apologizing to do..."[/align]
[align=right]"And I had a lot of searching to do. When I read up a little, and figured out what I'd done, oh man, was I determined to track her down, to make up."[/align]
>Okay Anon, watch your step down here...
>You drop down the rest of the way, landing on a patch of moss in the cave.
>"Who's there?" calls a familiar voice from inside.
>You reach back for your light, but a green magic glow from somewhere in front handles that for you, it's source being none other than Chrysalis.
>Her initial gasp of surprise, however, soon fades into a furious scowl.
>"You?!" she bellows, storming her way over towards you. "What are you doing here?!"
"Oh, thank God I found you! Listen, I--"
>"I told you that I never wanted to see you again!"
>She looks about ready to rear up and kick you halfway across the planet.
>"Get out! Get out and don't come back!"
"No."
>The simple response comes as a surprise to her, giving you a window to keep pressing on:
"I've spent damn near a month trying to find you, and I'm not about to leave now."
>Well, your opening didn't last too long, since now she's back to angry.
>"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you, right now!"
"Do it."
>Once again, you act on the mild surprise that reply draws out of her.
"Really, go ahead. At this stage, I'd probably deserve it, given what I went and did to you. But first, I've got just one thing I want to tell you."
>While she stays surprised, you throw your arms around her neck, and pull her in close for a hug.
"I'm sorry, Chrysalis."
>"Wh-what?"
"I was so fucking stupid, not catching what you meant when you wanted me to... well, you know. I screwed things up so badly for you, because of how stupid I was."
>You can feel her tense up even more.
"I've spent the better part of a month trying to find you, so that I could apologize, and--"
>"You think you can just come in here, tell me you're sorry, and that it'll all be better?!" she half-cries, trying to push you away from her.
"No, I don't." you reply, keeping her as close as you can. "Look, I know that I screwed things up, that I made a huge mistake, but I promise you, I'm going to do everything I can to make it right."
>"Shut up! J-just shut up!"
"I'm not leaving, Chrysalis. I can't."
>Her pushing gets weaker and weaker.
"I don't care how long it takes, I'm staying right here, with you. With them."
>She fails to hold back a sob.
"Please, Chryssy. Give me a chance."
>The last few bits of her energy are spent weakly telling you 'no', before she loses all semblance of composure, breaking down in your hold.
>She doesn't fight you when you pull her in closer, or when you begin gently itching one of her ears, and in fact, ends up returning your hug when you whisper to her how sorry you are.
>After several long, painful minutes, she begins to calm herself down, at least enough to speak again:
>"Y-you mean it?"
"I do."
>She sniffles, wipes her eyes, and pulls her head back to look at you, properly.
>In those big, watery green eyes of hers, you see her distrust, her hesitance, but also a tiny glimmer of hope.
>Cupping her cheek, you--
>"Mom, look out!" calls a very young voice from the side.
>Both of you face the source, and what greets you is a little, foal-sized changeling, it's tiny little horn glowing, and keeping itself in front of a whole bunch of other little changelings.
"Chryssy? A-are those...?"
>"Y-yes. Hatched a week ago."
>Hey, wh-who's cutting onions, around here?
...
"Holy shit," you whisper, gawking at the devastation around you.
>The entire room was completely demolished, the bars of the cell uprooted and scattered, some of them staked into the walls.
"Holy shit," you repeat.
>You powered her up enough, to do all of this?!
>Sweet merciful Christ, how the fuck does that even work?!
>"N-no..."
>Chrysalis's voice snaps your attention right back onto her, and what you see is, well, not what you'd call encouraging.
>She still sat in your lap, your cock still gripped in place, but now she was clutching her belly with a hoof, her whole body shaking and her eyes wide open, her pupils the size of pinpricks.
>She was in shock, disbelief, and was quickly becoming very, very scared.
>"W-why did...?"
"Chryssy? You okay?"
>When her terrified look flips over to you, you can't help but feel like you just made a terrible mistake.
>"You... I-I told you..."
>When said terrified look flips to rage, you know that you just made an even more horrible mistake.
>"You bastard!" she all but screams at you, pulling off of your lap as fast as she possibly can. "I told you, I begged you to pull out!"
"Look, I couldn't--"
>SMACK
"Yeow!" you cry out, your head snapped right to the side at the smack she just delivered straight to your face.
>"You're horrible! You're despicable!" she continues screaming, tears now beginning to well in her eyes.
"W-wait a minute--"
>"I never want to see you, ever again!"
>With that final line, she bolts out of the room, droplets of tears following in her wake.
"Wait, stop!" you call out to her, only to be met without any response.
>Oh, dear God in heaven, how badly did you just screw up?!
>Damn it, you've gotta find her!
[align=right]>"W-wait, hold on, what?!" Leslie exclaims, the bad ending almost totally breaking her out of her haze. "Where did that come from?!"[/align]
[align=right]>"Not exactly one of our proudest moments, I'll admit. I didn't realize that Anon couldn't pull himself out..."[/align]
[align=right]"And I had absolutely no idea that I'd managed to knock her up, big time. Didn't realize that changelings did the whole cross-species breeding thing, no magic required."[/align]
[align=right]>"B-but how'd you two end up back together, after that?!"[/align]
[align=right]>"Well, it wasn't easy. He had a lot of explaining and apologizing to do..."[/align]
[align=right]"And I had a lot of searching to do. When I read up a little, and figured out what I'd done, oh man, was I determined to track her down, to make up."[/align]
>Okay Anon, watch your step down here...
>You drop down the rest of the way, landing on a patch of moss in the cave.
>"Who's there?" calls a familiar voice from inside.
>You reach back for your light, but a green magic glow from somewhere in front handles that for you, it's source being none other than Chrysalis.
>Her initial gasp of surprise, however, soon fades into a furious scowl.
>"You?!" she bellows, storming her way over towards you. "What are you doing here?!"
"Oh, thank God I found you! Listen, I--"
>"I told you that I never wanted to see you again!"
>She looks about ready to rear up and kick you halfway across the planet.
>"Get out! Get out and don't come back!"
"No."
>The simple response comes as a surprise to her, giving you a window to keep pressing on:
"I've spent damn near a month trying to find you, and I'm not about to leave now."
>Well, your opening didn't last too long, since now she's back to angry.
>"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you, right now!"
"Do it."
>Once again, you act on the mild surprise that reply draws out of her.
"Really, go ahead. At this stage, I'd probably deserve it, given what I went and did to you. But first, I've got just one thing I want to tell you."
>While she stays surprised, you throw your arms around her neck, and pull her in close for a hug.
"I'm sorry, Chrysalis."
>"Wh-what?"
"I was so fucking stupid, not catching what you meant when you wanted me to... well, you know. I screwed things up so badly for you, because of how stupid I was."
>You can feel her tense up even more.
"I've spent the better part of a month trying to find you, so that I could apologize, and--"
>"You think you can just come in here, tell me you're sorry, and that it'll all be better?!" she half-cries, trying to push you away from her.
"No, I don't." you reply, keeping her as close as you can. "Look, I know that I screwed things up, that I made a huge mistake, but I promise you, I'm going to do everything I can to make it right."
>"Shut up! J-just shut up!"
"I'm not leaving, Chrysalis. I can't."
>Her pushing gets weaker and weaker.
"I don't care how long it takes, I'm staying right here, with you. With them."
>She fails to hold back a sob.
"Please, Chryssy. Give me a chance."
>The last few bits of her energy are spent weakly telling you 'no', before she loses all semblance of composure, breaking down in your hold.
>She doesn't fight you when you pull her in closer, or when you begin gently itching one of her ears, and in fact, ends up returning your hug when you whisper to her how sorry you are.
>After several long, painful minutes, she begins to calm herself down, at least enough to speak again:
>"Y-you mean it?"
"I do."
>She sniffles, wipes her eyes, and pulls her head back to look at you, properly.
>In those big, watery green eyes of hers, you see her distrust, her hesitance, but also a tiny glimmer of hope.
>Cupping her cheek, you--
>"Mom, look out!" calls a very young voice from the side.
>Both of you face the source, and what greets you is a little, foal-sized changeling, it's tiny little horn glowing, and keeping itself in front of a whole bunch of other little changelings.
"Chryssy? A-are those...?"
>"Y-yes. Hatched a week ago."
>Hey, wh-who's cutting onions, around here?
...
File (): B6FCB93DEF3414C0351F87108C8F766D-829139.png (809.7 KB, 1739x1869, 1515086453025.png)
>>164940
"You know, you always hear the stories from your parents, about how big of a change having you had on them, but man, you just don't... feel it, understand it, until it actually happens to you."
>"I'll admit," Chrysalis intones, "I was really skeptical about letting Anon help me raise them."
"Gee, thanks."
>"You know what I mean, shut up! A-anyways, I gave him his chance, and he really, really outdid himself. By the time he'd stayed there for a second week, I... I wanted more."
"Yeah, I still remember the look on your face, when I told you 'no'."
>"You scared me to death, Anon! When you said 'no', I thought that--"
"S'alright, it all worked out in the end, didn't it?"
>"Somehow."
"Somehow. Yeah, after a couple weeks of five-starring the whole parent thing, she was itching for more, something fierce. But I wouldn't let her have any more. At least, not until we got married."
>"Before you ask, no, we couldn't do it in Equestria."
"Now Seaquestria, on the other hand? Oh, they'll marry you to anything with a pulse, and to several things without one!"
>"Don't ask how we know that. Just don't."
"Actually, whereabouts were you planning on getting the ole knot tied at, Leslie?"
>Leslie takes a few moments to realize you were asking her a question, spluttering to life from her happy little stupor.
>"Wh-what?! O-oh, I mean, uh, g-gee, I never really thought of that!"
"Well, Seaquestria's a solid choice, if you don't mind the whole 'shapeshifting for the underwater ceremony' thing."
>"Which I didn't," Chrysalis adds.
"Yeah, of course you didn't. I was freaking the fuck out, until I realized I got turned into a bitching merman. Shit was so cash."
>"I wish it could have turned me into something other than a sea lamprey, though..."
"Hey, at least you could still shapeshift by yourself! And besides, you're my big, bloodsucking parasite."
>"You're such a charmer," Chrysalis deadpans, not even trying to keep the smirk off her face.
"Always and forever," you chirp, stealing a kiss from her in the process. "Anyways, only problem with Seaquestria is that those fuckers charge you a ton of money for the service."
>"You could try Saddle Arabia, they've married a few cross-species couples before."
"As long as you don't mind all the terrorists, and enjoy their national delicacy: sand and rock cobbler."
>"Oh, that's terrible!" Chrysalis snickers.
"I haven't even started with them. Oh yeah, you could also try the Crystal Empire, see if--"
>"No," Chrysalis snaps.
"Shit, I was just putting it out there! I mean, they do charge, what, 30% in sales tax, so you'd--"
>"They do WHAT?!" Leslie screeches.
"Aaaaand you know what, nevermind, fuck the pink broad's kingdom. You know, how the fuck are they even 'kingdoms', when they're still ruled by princesses?"
>"Because they're idiots," Chrysalis coos, rubbing her cheek against yours. "But we don't make that mistake in this house, my king~..."
"No, we sure don't, my queen," you finish, ending that subject with a nice, long kiss.
>"Aaaanon!" Leslie calls out.
"Uh, yeah, I'm right here--"
>"No, other Anon! My Anon! Aaaanon!"
>"Ah, there she goes~," Chrysalis whispers.
>The doors where O-non had fucked off through fly open, revealing the orange man, himself.
>"A-are you finally done, Leslie?"
>"You. Me. Talk. Now!"
>"What?"
>"Now!" she almost snaps, biting his jacket and dragging him towards the doors.
>"A-all right, what did you want to--"
>"Thanks for the story, Anon! And thanks for the tips, Chrysalis!"
>"Wh-what?! What did they tell you?!"
>"Byeeee~!"
>"Always a pleasure," Chrysalis calls out.
"Auf Wiedersehen, mein großer Mann," you wink towards O-non.
>The door shuts before he can work in a quip, probably something about degenerates.
"So, how long do you give them?"
>"Three days."
"Three days? That's it? Geez, I was thinking at least two weeks!"
>"Oh, that Leslie's a mare who gets what she wants, I could tell the second I saw her. Once those two are together, she'll be begging me for all kinds of spells, to jumpstart their newlywed life."
"Heat spells, fertility, the whole shiteree?"
>"Naturally."
"Ah, young love."
>"The sweetest you'll ever taste."
"Heh, so what about the big guy, himself? Think he's got it in him?"
>"Definitely. He strikes me as a pretty strict father figure."
"Ah, so that wasn't just me."
>"Great minds think alike," she coos again. "And don't think this great mind's forgotten about your treat, either~..."
"You really know how to treat a guy, don't you?"
>With one of her signature erotic chuckles, she locks lips with you again, only this time with some tongue action to go with it.
>Sadly, you have to push her away, before she gets too into it.
"And I know just how to treat a lady, too."
>"A-Anon?"
"I've got a little gift for you, honey."
>Now that you've got her attention, you stand up and open the secret passage behind the fridge, and lead her down to the jail part of the hive.
>Of course, you're in no rush, and defer plenty of time to playing with the swarms of hundreds of your bug-progeny, before you finally reach the jails.
>"P-please let me out of here, the ropes are really starting to chafe!" calls the voice of your captive, freezing Chrysalis with a little gasp.
>"You didn't."
>Smirking, you turn a corner, and present the inhabitant of the cell to Chrysalis: a tied-up, thrashing Thorax.
>"You did! Ohhmygosh, you shouldn't have, Anon!"
"I do a lot of things I shouldn't, what can I say?"
>Aww, look at the big moose bug freeze up in terror, upon seeing you two!
>God, these fuckers look gross.
"So," you chirp, unveiling the table full of knives, and picking up the hooked one.[/i] "You want to start, or should I?"
>Apparently none of you are, since she's decided to suck the mother of all face with you: full body hug, tongue, all of it.
>Mmm, looks like you'll be off sick with the bug, tonight...
"You know, you always hear the stories from your parents, about how big of a change having you had on them, but man, you just don't... feel it, understand it, until it actually happens to you."
>"I'll admit," Chrysalis intones, "I was really skeptical about letting Anon help me raise them."
"Gee, thanks."
>"You know what I mean, shut up! A-anyways, I gave him his chance, and he really, really outdid himself. By the time he'd stayed there for a second week, I... I wanted more."
"Yeah, I still remember the look on your face, when I told you 'no'."
>"You scared me to death, Anon! When you said 'no', I thought that--"
"S'alright, it all worked out in the end, didn't it?"
>"Somehow."
"Somehow. Yeah, after a couple weeks of five-starring the whole parent thing, she was itching for more, something fierce. But I wouldn't let her have any more. At least, not until we got married."
>"Before you ask, no, we couldn't do it in Equestria."
"Now Seaquestria, on the other hand? Oh, they'll marry you to anything with a pulse, and to several things without one!"
>"Don't ask how we know that. Just don't."
"Actually, whereabouts were you planning on getting the ole knot tied at, Leslie?"
>Leslie takes a few moments to realize you were asking her a question, spluttering to life from her happy little stupor.
>"Wh-what?! O-oh, I mean, uh, g-gee, I never really thought of that!"
"Well, Seaquestria's a solid choice, if you don't mind the whole 'shapeshifting for the underwater ceremony' thing."
>"Which I didn't," Chrysalis adds.
"Yeah, of course you didn't. I was freaking the fuck out, until I realized I got turned into a bitching merman. Shit was so cash."
>"I wish it could have turned me into something other than a sea lamprey, though..."
"Hey, at least you could still shapeshift by yourself! And besides, you're my big, bloodsucking parasite."
>"You're such a charmer," Chrysalis deadpans, not even trying to keep the smirk off her face.
"Always and forever," you chirp, stealing a kiss from her in the process. "Anyways, only problem with Seaquestria is that those fuckers charge you a ton of money for the service."
>"You could try Saddle Arabia, they've married a few cross-species couples before."
"As long as you don't mind all the terrorists, and enjoy their national delicacy: sand and rock cobbler."
>"Oh, that's terrible!" Chrysalis snickers.
"I haven't even started with them. Oh yeah, you could also try the Crystal Empire, see if--"
>"No," Chrysalis snaps.
"Shit, I was just putting it out there! I mean, they do charge, what, 30% in sales tax, so you'd--"
>"They do WHAT?!" Leslie screeches.
"Aaaaand you know what, nevermind, fuck the pink broad's kingdom. You know, how the fuck are they even 'kingdoms', when they're still ruled by princesses?"
>"Because they're idiots," Chrysalis coos, rubbing her cheek against yours. "But we don't make that mistake in this house, my king~..."
"No, we sure don't, my queen," you finish, ending that subject with a nice, long kiss.
>"Aaaanon!" Leslie calls out.
"Uh, yeah, I'm right here--"
>"No, other Anon! My Anon! Aaaanon!"
>"Ah, there she goes~," Chrysalis whispers.
>The doors where O-non had fucked off through fly open, revealing the orange man, himself.
>"A-are you finally done, Leslie?"
>"You. Me. Talk. Now!"
>"What?"
>"Now!" she almost snaps, biting his jacket and dragging him towards the doors.
>"A-all right, what did you want to--"
>"Thanks for the story, Anon! And thanks for the tips, Chrysalis!"
>"Wh-what?! What did they tell you?!"
>"Byeeee~!"
>"Always a pleasure," Chrysalis calls out.
"Auf Wiedersehen, mein großer Mann," you wink towards O-non.
>The door shuts before he can work in a quip, probably something about degenerates.
"So, how long do you give them?"
>"Three days."
"Three days? That's it? Geez, I was thinking at least two weeks!"
>"Oh, that Leslie's a mare who gets what she wants, I could tell the second I saw her. Once those two are together, she'll be begging me for all kinds of spells, to jumpstart their newlywed life."
"Heat spells, fertility, the whole shiteree?"
>"Naturally."
"Ah, young love."
>"The sweetest you'll ever taste."
"Heh, so what about the big guy, himself? Think he's got it in him?"
>"Definitely. He strikes me as a pretty strict father figure."
"Ah, so that wasn't just me."
>"Great minds think alike," she coos again. "And don't think this great mind's forgotten about your treat, either~..."
"You really know how to treat a guy, don't you?"
>With one of her signature erotic chuckles, she locks lips with you again, only this time with some tongue action to go with it.
>Sadly, you have to push her away, before she gets too into it.
"And I know just how to treat a lady, too."
>"A-Anon?"
"I've got a little gift for you, honey."
>Now that you've got her attention, you stand up and open the secret passage behind the fridge, and lead her down to the jail part of the hive.
>Of course, you're in no rush, and defer plenty of time to playing with the swarms of hundreds of your bug-progeny, before you finally reach the jails.
>"P-please let me out of here, the ropes are really starting to chafe!" calls the voice of your captive, freezing Chrysalis with a little gasp.
>"You didn't."
>Smirking, you turn a corner, and present the inhabitant of the cell to Chrysalis: a tied-up, thrashing Thorax.
>"You did! Ohhmygosh, you shouldn't have, Anon!"
"I do a lot of things I shouldn't, what can I say?"
>Aww, look at the big moose bug freeze up in terror, upon seeing you two!
>God, these fuckers look gross.
"So," you chirp, unveiling the table full of knives, and picking up the hooked one.[/i] "You want to start, or should I?"
>Apparently none of you are, since she's decided to suck the mother of all face with you: full body hug, tongue, all of it.
>Mmm, looks like you'll be off sick with the bug, tonight...
File (): E7D3D7C0253CE00B7061A33B21E82DBD-16932093.webm (16.1 MB, Resolution:898x560 Length:00:01:37, 1714019__explicit_artist-colon-tiarawhy_pinkie pie_queen chrysalis_twilight sparkle_animated_bad end_blowjob_changeling_changeling queen_cowgirl positi.webm) [play once] [loop]
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File (): 66287D0D16B81E941F1CBE6F1333CBF7-1984665.png (1.9 MB, 1280x1593, 1709523__explicit_artist-colon-alcor_queen chrysalis_blushing_cock shaming_crotchboobs_female_horsecock_human_human fetish_human male_human penis_magic.png)
>>164941
This? This was entirely too long, entirely too distracting to make, and I entirely ran out of fucks to give, because I just had such a rip-roarin' fantastic time writing it out. This also happens to be the longest short, one-shot green I've written to date, so hey, that's an accomplishment!
You know what else goes great with long-winded accomplishments? The fact that it took me this long to edit out all of my nice /mlpol/ formatting to make this work on Pastebin, without looking like an abortion of square brackets and almost-BBcode. Milo, how could you fail me like this? Why?!
Anyways, have your complementary end-of-story porn dump, and the Pastebin version of this story, if for some reason you want it: https://pastebin.com/2KDiLfkA
The Starlight green: https://mlpol.net/mlpol/archive/res/89100.html#115196 OR https://pastebin.com/dVJCbqXS
The Tempest green: >>138634 → OR https://pastebin.com/aqXdy3JX
The Sunset green: >>149053 → OR https://pastebin.com/V2JnGwUJ
The GOD OF SUCC: >>>/go/3503 → OR https://pastebin.com/KH6h1Z28
This? This was entirely too long, entirely too distracting to make, and I entirely ran out of fucks to give, because I just had such a rip-roarin' fantastic time writing it out. This also happens to be the longest short, one-shot green I've written to date, so hey, that's an accomplishment!
You know what else goes great with long-winded accomplishments? The fact that it took me this long to edit out all of my nice /mlpol/ formatting to make this work on Pastebin, without looking like an abortion of square brackets and almost-BBcode. Milo, how could you fail me like this? Why?!
Anyways, have your complementary end-of-story porn dump, and the Pastebin version of this story, if for some reason you want it: https://pastebin.com/2KDiLfkA
The Starlight green: https://mlpol.net/mlpol/archive/res/89100.html#115196 OR https://pastebin.com/dVJCbqXS
The Tempest green: >>138634 → OR https://pastebin.com/aqXdy3JX
The Sunset green: >>149053 → OR https://pastebin.com/V2JnGwUJ
The GOD OF SUCC: >>>/go/3503 → OR https://pastebin.com/KH6h1Z28
>>164943
Canada, as always, you deliver greatness
I await more when you have it, and until then, I hope you get all the win that you deserve for this.
Canada, as always, you deliver greatness
I await more when you have it, and until then, I hope you get all the win that you deserve for this.
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open dat pussy wide
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My first attempt at drawing pone porn. A lot of room for improvement of course.
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>>165908
Are you trying to milk a sequel out of me, pal-i-o? Because if you are, you're driving a mighty hard bargain.
Oh, not a bad first attempt, I guess. Here, have some guides for your trouble. Got nothing on dicks, sorry.
Are you trying to milk a sequel out of me, pal-i-o? Because if you are, you're driving a mighty hard bargain.
Oh, not a bad first attempt, I guess. Here, have some guides for your trouble. Got nothing on dicks, sorry.
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Does anyone have the link to that massive Google drive full of horse porn? I need it because reasons.
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>>166182
Ask and ye shall recieve....horse porn.
https://drive.google.com/drive/mobile/folders//0B0OPrZN3lV5LakxwRWYtT0UwcXc?sort=7&direction=d
Ask and ye shall recieve....horse porn.
https://drive.google.com/drive/mobile/folders//0B0OPrZN3lV5LakxwRWYtT0UwcXc?sort=7&direction=d
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>>166281
I was wondering the same, and the best guess I have come up with is that RD is blowing up an blow-up Luna in the bathtub.
I was wondering the same, and the best guess I have come up with is that RD is blowing up an blow-up Luna in the bathtub.
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It's been a bit, so I figured I'd find something to bump with.
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Up, thread! Up!
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File (): 330DEF276D72D9192EC7AF274BBFF13B-927332.gif (905.6 KB, 1000x1000, 1646839__explicit_artist-colon-sunny4sunnly_oc_oc-colon-cirrus_oc-colon-electro current_oc only_animated_cirrent_cunnilingus_female_frame.gif)
File (): 6636DA6DC97E6E873478FA5F19356CE2-415286.jpg (405.6 KB, 1800x1200, 1523204907747-0.jpg)
File (): 7E404A678321FA4E025611EEDF10328A-949008.png (926.8 KB, 1000x739, 1523204907747-1.png)
File (): B97BF731906D29932EEB57F8BBB494CC-814583.png (795.5 KB, 1280x853, 1523204907747-3.png)
File (): E4091A87CD8B14411044D7012443DE3A-2618719.png (2.5 MB, 3000x2000, 1523544111131-2.png)
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Filthy anal degeneracy for mlpol
File (): 40290636DC618F3ADFA1B12B2E8C24C6-128709.png (125.7 KB, 777x748, 1631194__explicit_artist-colon-whatsapokemon_oc_oc-colon-jade shine_oc only_anatomically correct_anus_dark genitals_dock_female_gray back.png)
File (): D8185F201AAE3D5F5B2B2AD11FAB70C4-1103746.png (1.1 MB, 5000x4861, 1630569__explicit_artist-colon-zutheskunk_oc_oc only_oc-colon-snowflake_oc-colon-talcom_absurd res_anus_balls_bedroom eyes_belly button_c.png)
File (): A21D43BCBEED2C796D5A8DBD4AAAD017-1205635.png (1.1 MB, 3840x2160, 1628147__explicit_artist-colon-spookitty_artist-colon-tiarawhy_starlight glimmer_twilight sparkle_alicorn_anatomically correct_implied le.png)
>>169827
The futa and incest is a little degenerate, tbh fam. But otherwise anal between a consenting male and female is pure and based.
Anyways, I've been slacking in keeping this thread bumped, so have a bump.
The futa and incest is a little degenerate, tbh fam. But otherwise anal between a consenting male and female is pure and based.
Anyways, I've been slacking in keeping this thread bumped, so have a bump.
File (): 8EA7761A8FA537247AA87D44EA924A72-2943287.png (2.8 MB, 4093x2894, 1829119__explicit_artist-colon-dankflank_trixie_30 minute art challenge_anatomically correct_anus_blushing_clitoris_crotchboobs_cutie mark_dock_female_.png)
File (): C3E846C0E00748254CF53E4AB70AEA26-1535764.png (1.5 MB, 2048x1280, 1827199__explicit_artist-colon-shinodage_oc_oc-colon-mozzarella orgy_oc only_anatomically correct_anus_blushing_creampie_cum_cum pool_dock_excessive cu.png)
File (): 28AF5FC63EB7234EEAD542404CA2E4AC-1486187.png (1.4 MB, 2480x2126, 1830371__explicit_artist-colon-earth_pony_colds_limestone pie_bondage_chains_earth pony_female_femsub_grin_happy bondage_looking at you_pony_shackles_s.png)
>>169843
I don't view that one as futa personally, we never see the connection and a lot of strap-ons are black...
I don't view that one as futa personally, we never see the connection and a lot of strap-ons are black...
File (): 09359E76ECEB1C6F43A0538A5D102875-2731478.gif (2.6 MB, 720x720, maudpink.gif)
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Up you go.
File (): F056AC00BA3EF642BF808280157EC865-405189.jpg (395.7 KB, 1000x1000, My-Little-Pony-Applejack01.jpg)
bamp for more horse pussy
File (): 559119E246B3D0F0EF5FBDBCF38A86A4-351552.png (343.3 KB, 1160x1312, 1511040808191-0.png)
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Bout that time of year niggers
File (): B13D7A0A60269E64412272ADA1024AB7-15837.jpg (15.5 KB, 434x469, 4c5c1da4c5d59cf412117d2b18b582dcc437249b.jpg)
bamp
File (): F996B2ABD373B4B7E66500188A71793A-150486.jpg (147.0 KB, 850x850, 014538574540.jpg)
File (): 036504969568D6FE42A9C7629E7A996E-226038.jpg (220.7 KB, 850x850, 02405243543521.jpg)
File (): 39EC528BBB61240850BB8A68EC9906D3-184340.jpg (180.0 KB, 850x851, 02405245352421.jpg)
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File (): D3D28391F2980FC7FB02617BB2DC6168-934718.png (912.8 KB, 853x1200, 5235245021254354.png)
Contribumping
File (): 8CF44C661A7CACFADD2C05D8A11C1861-42309.jpg (41.3 KB, 800x450, spook3.jpg)
File (): 9535C35778F0E1C80A28F754C5AF29CA-63389.jpg (61.9 KB, 1280x640, spook1.jpg)
File (): 10C7BB80C7DC75E8404E024EA5A173BC-29815.jpg (29.1 KB, 1280x720, spook2.jpg)
>>175095
anons right, its only September, which means is almost October which means its almost spooky time
>pics related
anons right, its only September, which means is almost October which means its almost spooky time
>pics related
File (): 1F124CE4139C98281FED3087695EAA0F-203417.jpg (198.6 KB, 900x1500, 1739350__explicit_artist-colon-miniferu_derpibooru exclusive_skellinore_the break up breakdown_spoiler-colon-s08e10_anus_bone_dead_female_fetish_ghost_.jpeg)
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File (): DD7F6D9EA65F3DF907DFE24DD3EB16C1-14211.jpg (13.9 KB, 220x212, spiceee.jpg)
>>175956
Holy shit, that fourth one's wider than the roastiest roastie.
At least 2 had the sense to stick an onahole in there.
Holy shit, that fourth one's wider than the roastiest roastie.
At least 2 had the sense to stick an onahole in there.
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File (): 08C97CED04B49A5DE2D2D3EDF5CA7F9C-167587.jpg (163.7 KB, 850x687, 012428575684014285.jpg)
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File (): 7A37A0214806151C0A6666078346A776-495669.png (484.1 KB, 1200x1200, 1841778__questionable_artist-colon-thatguywhodrawzala_color edit_edit_oc_oc-colon-aryanne_oc-colon-fireaxe_oc only_oc-colon-syriana_oc-colon-zala_color.png)
You know what goes well with lewd threads?
SWEET, SWEET VICTORY!
SWEET, SWEET VICTORY!
File (): 91583BCD438C5969DA253B13728DCC70-645704.png (630.6 KB, 877x621, 1523312436545.png)
bamp
File (): BA519BFA5C74F64C8B009B518A69624A-94380.jpg (92.2 KB, 1420x1155, 1843883__explicit_artist-colon-dragk_rain shine_sounds of silence_spoiler-colon-s08e23_kirin_sketch_solo.jpeg)
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File (): 182B1E88A6973CD2A2B6FBF94817C31A-878039.png (857.5 KB, 1801x2449, 1833553__explicit_artist-colon-the-dash-minuscule-dash-task_autumn blaze_sounds of silence_spoiler-colon-s08_spoiler-colon-s08e23_blushing_female_kirin.png)
File (): 7DB142769C3B12E99CCE31C67E577787-996992.png (973.6 KB, 1600x1200, 1830330__explicit_artist-colon-fromamida_sounds of silence_spoiler-colon-s08e23_-dot--dot--dot-_blowjob_blushing_bored sex_gray background_horsecock_ki.png)
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File (): 20E55AC3819EAD6EA6262FE6C0ABC944-488102.png (476.7 KB, 1000x614, 1811355__explicit_artist-colon-pusspuss_autumn blaze_spoiler-colon-s08_spoiler-colon-s08e23_anatomically correct_anus_crotchboobs_dialogue_female_flexi.png)
File (): CF2384F90FAD8519E3A35E0C53250148-1405970.png (1.3 MB, 3000x3640, 1843889__explicit_artist-colon-trash anon_autumn blaze_oc_oc-colon-anon_spoiler-colon-s08_spoiler-colon-s08e23_ahegao_blushing_complete nudity_faceless.png)
>>176294
>no horsepussy
It's a shame Syrianna has such a shapely butt, it hides the goods at that angle.
Anyway, does anyone have any fan animations with show-style models? I've been able to find only SFMs and gifs where a still image is shifted slightly to simulate banging. Bonus points if the animation has voice-acting similar to the characters.
>no horsepussy
It's a shame Syrianna has such a shapely butt, it hides the goods at that angle.
Anyway, does anyone have any fan animations with show-style models? I've been able to find only SFMs and gifs where a still image is shifted slightly to simulate banging. Bonus points if the animation has voice-acting similar to the characters.
>>176300
>does anyone have any fan animations with show-style models?
People tend to be scared of looking too much like the show these days, show assets got leaked a few years back and a couple of notable animators got C&D'd for using them.
Try looking up JanAnimation's Button Mash Adventures (I think it's called) and some of Viva Reverie's older stuff. Unless you mean lewds, in which case TheColdsBarn, Mittsies and Tiarawhy are some good ones.
>does anyone have any fan animations with show-style models?
People tend to be scared of looking too much like the show these days, show assets got leaked a few years back and a couple of notable animators got C&D'd for using them.
Try looking up JanAnimation's Button Mash Adventures (I think it's called) and some of Viva Reverie's older stuff. Unless you mean lewds, in which case TheColdsBarn, Mittsies and Tiarawhy are some good ones.
File (): 56642DFADA55A6EBE40BA5E05F5164FF-208807.jpg (203.9 KB, 800x470, stratum.jpg)
File (): 686CF8BEAE8BCD4F6010CA948EA11AC0-830241.png (810.8 KB, 1200x900, OctaviaReclining.png)
>>176358
Look up where? The Button Mash Adventures were taken down, Tiarawhy's Tumblr was shoah'd, and I cannot find any trace of ColdsBarn or Mittsies (besides first pic) on DeviantArt or Tumblr. I don't want to make a Tumblr or Derpibooru account as the former is cancer and as for the latter that's what this site is for me anyway.
Also, could we post some Stradivarius? This thread shouldn't ever drop below first page.
>t. 25-year-old boomer
Look up where? The Button Mash Adventures were taken down, Tiarawhy's Tumblr was shoah'd, and I cannot find any trace of ColdsBarn or Mittsies (besides first pic) on DeviantArt or Tumblr. I don't want to make a Tumblr or Derpibooru account as the former is cancer and as for the latter that's what this site is for me anyway.
Also, could we post some Stradivarius? This thread shouldn't ever drop below first page.
>t. 25-year-old boomer
File (): 758ED063F27F6979A0FA139B7B167632-333857.jpg (326.0 KB, 1000x763, 1261988__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_oc_oc-colon-cream heart_oc only_breast grab_breast milk_crotchboobs_dialogue_grope_human_huma.jpg)
File (): 001275B1D70F6334A00ABE5268DC6C4B-386150.jpg (377.1 KB, 847x950, 1261991__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_oc_oc-colon-cream heart_oc only_blushing_clitoris_crotchboobs_cum_dialogue_eyes closed_female.jpg)
File (): 9F3DE119B459972FAC8AB3EE6FC85AA5-274159.jpg (267.7 KB, 1000x553, 1261993__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_oc_oc-colon-cream heart_oc only_anus_cum_dialogue_human_human male_human male on mare_human o.jpg)
>>176587
Since you asked so nicely, here's some Buttonmom (who apparently has a name now; neat) by Stradivarius.
Since you asked so nicely, here's some Buttonmom (who apparently has a name now; neat) by Stradivarius.
Also: I know you're around here somewhere, Mkogwheel, and I'm going to have to ask you two things: why did you make this, and why did I find it arousing?
>>176604
I... don't have a reaction image for this.
Gives an entirely new set of implications to "face fucking"
I... don't have a reaction image for this.
Gives an entirely new set of implications to "face fucking"
File (): C9C6C6AAB2C8629F5B0FFD5869F1283F-746817.png (729.3 KB, 1200x900, RarityInShower.png)
Because this thread is getting a bit dead and people are getting bored, why don't we play a game and give mares stats according to how desirable they are or perform in the bedroom? Let's start:
Rarity
Body shape Figure and body composition, ideally a balance of slimness, fat and muscularity: 8/10
Natural beauty Ungroomed: 3/10
Groomed beauty After given time to look her best: 9/10
Secondary sexual characteristics Voice, crotchboobs, miscellaneous physical feminine attributes: 9/10
Sexual knowledge In how to pleasure her mate: 8/10Because she's a massive slut
Stamina How long she lasts: 3/10
Emotional connection Values being with you more than simple physical stimulus: 4/10
Wifeliness Isn't picky or spoiled and eagerly appreciates your will: 2/10
Rarity
Body shape Figure and body composition, ideally a balance of slimness, fat and muscularity: 8/10
Natural beauty Ungroomed: 3/10
Groomed beauty After given time to look her best: 9/10
Secondary sexual characteristics Voice, crotchboobs, miscellaneous physical feminine attributes: 9/10
Sexual knowledge In how to pleasure her mate: 8/10
Stamina How long she lasts: 3/10
Emotional connection Values being with you more than simple physical stimulus: 4/10
Wifeliness Isn't picky or spoiled and eagerly appreciates your will: 2/10
File (): C75B2BF8A363D8976EB8501F538F30F5-244059.jpg (238.3 KB, 850x1214, 1499035263983.jpg)
Increase the horse pussy men!
>>176744
Applejack
Body shape: 7/10
Natural beauty: 6/10
Groomed beauty: 6/10
Secondary sexual characteristics: 7/10
Sexual knowledge: 3/10
Stamina: 10/10
Emotional connection: 8/10
Wifeliness: 9/10
Applejack
Body shape: 7/10
Natural beauty: 6/10
Groomed beauty: 6/10
Secondary sexual characteristics: 7/10
Sexual knowledge: 3/10
Stamina: 10/10
Emotional connection: 8/10
Wifeliness: 9/10
File (): 8AFE88061380ED4C38BF69332699080B-256063.jpg (250.1 KB, 1280x1598, SeductiveApplejack.jpeg)
File (): 77DE58DE4BAACB08FF4610A0A59095B3-553189.png (540.2 KB, 830x467, have3horsepussy.png)
bamp for horse pussy
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File (): 37C149F7B04EDD65EC0AA209D9664704-656151.png (640.8 KB, 1275x1475, 1847649__explicit_artist-colon-zombie_oc_oc-colon-dusk desire_oc only_anus_ass_bat pony_bat pony oc_butt only_clothes_female_mare_nudity_.png)
File (): 21AC431CA95EF7C3554F28F2D691C5F5-5654420.png (5.4 MB, 5590x4773, 1845626__explicit_artist-colon-grypher_derpibooru exclusive_oc_fallout equestria_alicorn_anus_artificial alicorn_blank flank_bullet_dock_.png)
File (): 5BEDBEB0FEA5B3E13AEEF32EBB443ABF-345868.jpg (337.8 KB, 1200x1600, StarlightGlimmerLookingBackEmbarrassedExposingHerself.jpeg)
>>177446
>posting Shydale
Ah, I see you have patrician taste as well.
>smooth curves on #2
I demand sauce
>>176744
Starlight Glimmer (to mess with Nigel)
Body shape: 7/10
Natural beauty: 4/10
Groomed beauty: 8/10
Secondary sexual characteristics: 5/10
Sexual knowledge: 6/10
Stamina: 6/10
Emotional connection: 5/10
Wifeliness: 7/10
>posting Shydale
Ah, I see you have patrician taste as well.
>smooth curves on #2
I demand sauce
>>176744
Starlight Glimmer (to mess with Nigel)
Body shape: 7/10
Natural beauty: 4/10
Groomed beauty: 8/10
Secondary sexual characteristics: 5/10
Sexual knowledge: 6/10
Stamina: 6/10
Emotional connection: 5/10
Wifeliness: 7/10
File (): 5F0C138C0A948C0DF1FE8D9C78E01BF1-1035075.jpg (1.0 MB, 1280x1536, 1073969__solo_twilight sparkle_explicit_nudity_clothes_solo female_anus_looking at you_vulva_bedroom eyes.jpg)
File (): 474FB7DC280ABF0984FE16098749DE0D-2647910.jpg (2.5 MB, 3336x2346, 1174572__solo_explicit_nudity_solo female_anus_looking at you_vulva_plot_bedroom eyes_glasses.jpg)
File (): D281AA78C9EF6A15B089702549D68C3F-2297744.png (2.2 MB, 1280x1920, Moondancer.png)
File (): 6C5D3813FF3BDA3AE24735641E4A62BF-1797371.png (1.7 MB, 1279x1570, 1534282916131.png)
File (): 0FD2BB1A397434CE6A4DE654024A87B0-25312376.webm (24.1 MB, Resolution:900x1080 Length:00:00:25, 1590314__explicit_artist-colon-fearingfun_artist-colon-htpot_edit_oc_oc-colon-cute wing_oc only_anatomically correct_animated_belly button_clitoris_cre.webm) [play once] [loop]
BACK TO THE FRONT!
File (): F41C876EDED10B720455B88FF7A7E887-6968049.png (6.6 MB, 3183x4000, 1721003.png)
File (): 372584EBC522B0C42EDF95FD117694D5-715441.jpg (698.7 KB, 2050x1534, 1704485.jpeg)
File (): 79B2E2BBE71E8D1F462AAD95D814BF21-749993.png (732.4 KB, 1042x1180, 1568241.png)
File (): B171D457FB6D366681B5A715C0482F84-2457902.png (2.3 MB, 3185x3768, 1534262.png)
File (): 640A60ACF604BE893D9E295EC532E54C-838088.png (818.4 KB, 1125x750, 1184840.png)
Pone MILFs
File (): BF25A298850878301880EE70DD795B3A-406779.png (397.2 KB, 600x800, 1849094__suggestive_artist-colon-xchan_skellinore_the break up breakdown_spoiler-colon-s08e10_bone_commissioner-colon-zizzydizzymc_lewd_r.png)
File (): 2405083F5825C4B42867E6184A8C4EE3-265008.jpg (258.8 KB, 900x1500, 1739326__explicit_artist-colon-miniferu_derpibooru exclusive_skellinore_the break up breakdown_spoiler-colon-s08e10_blowjob_bone_dead_fem.jpg)
File (): AF234307F6DB6FA8CE5FFA72CEBE9589-221938.jpg (216.7 KB, 900x1500, 1739295__explicit_artist-colon-miniferu_skellinore_the break up breakdown_spoiler-colon-s08e10_anus_bone_dead_female_fetish_ghost_necroph.jpg)
T H E B O N E Z O N E
File (): 6AB7254F7E82461EB348F990DF91724E-1201103.jpg (1.1 MB, 1748x1884, 1853078__explicit_artist-colon-alcor_twilight sparkle_anatomically correct_anus_butt only_cereal_clit boop_clitoral stimulation_crotchboobs_dock_food_n.jpeg)
File (): 249BCAD9CF0BF348FFC9B651855D2EC3-1027602.png (1.0 MB, 2000x1100, 1852464__explicit_alternate version_artist-colon-mercurial64_princess luna_alicorn_anatomically correct_anus_bed_crotchboobs_dildo_dock_female_insertio.png)
File (): AB62370364CAD58A56334033EF28808D-5994768.png (5.7 MB, 4956x3876, 1853148__explicit_artist-colon-dankflank_daring do_double penetration_female_hat_insertion_looking back_mare_moaning_moaning in pleasure_multiple penet.png)
File (): B2E9D0B3B3F17437E05199749AA945C2-15015213.png (14.3 MB, 7872x6416, 1850073__explicit_artist-colon-nevobaster_autumn blaze_sounds of silence_spoiler-colon-s08e23_anatomically correct_anus_ass_bedroom eyes_blazebutt_clit.png)
File (): C81CF8562450FFE9A9613016F910DACD-12052702.png (11.5 MB, 5788x6140, 1850420__explicit_artist-colon-dankflank_rain shine_sounds of silence_spoiler-colon-s08e23_anatomically correct_anus_ass_barbed dildo_bedroom eyes_blus.png)
File (): 6B00557FF2F1807A9C449042ED9CBD1E-912057.png (890.7 KB, 1595x1106, 1850381__explicit_artist-colon-sugarlesspaints_color edit_edit_rainbow dash_anatomically correct_anus_clitoris_colored_crash_dazed_derp_dock_female_fen.png)
One more
File (): 4CDB077CED751D0381E949A9C44A7180-355048.jpg (346.7 KB, 645x1000, 1226031__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_derpy hooves_anatomically correct_anus_dark genitals_dialogue_estrus_human_human male_human m.jpg)
File (): AC8AB5575284C23377F06B6287B0DBD2-275571.jpg (269.1 KB, 725x850, 1226037__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_derpy hooves_anatomically correct_anus_clitoris_cum_dark genitals_detailed vagina_dialogue_do.jpg)
File (): 3DDA1F3779AEAAF46E9EAAE2B1975AAA-137277.jpg (134.1 KB, 757x850, 1226039__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_derpy hooves_anatomically correct_anus_bubble butt_cum_dialogue_human_human male_human male o.jpg)
File (): 135277F6BFB92184F517642A36B5E2E4-424051.jpg (414.1 KB, 777x950, 1202171__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_starlight glimmer_anatomically correct_anus_confused_crotchboobs_dialogue_disembodied penis_d.jpg)
File (): FAA937EEBEF80846A47F99E6F9570249-300447.jpg (293.4 KB, 900x745, 1202174__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_starlight glimmer_abs_anal_anatomically correct_anus_balls_confused_crotchboobs_dialogue_dock.jpg)
File (): 63934CD26F4F671354B3EE061F48DF94-358021.jpg (349.6 KB, 950x781, 1202176__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_starlight glimmer_anal_anatomically correct_anus_balls_blushing_clitoris_crotchboobs_dialogue.jpg)
File (): E24E0C0DD410C7CD5ED0E2EC4D5C92C8-533110.jpg (520.6 KB, 900x823, 1179097__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_princess cadance_alicorn_anatomically correct_anus_balls_bedroom eyes_dialogue_human_human ma.jpg)
File (): 8739B1F499350CD7747175774C5D44C3-261051.jpg (254.9 KB, 850x595, 1179099__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_princess cadance_alicorn_anatomically correct_anus_dialogue_human_human male_human male on ma.jpg)
File (): 34E4493A0A4EFE01276DEB0379660D88-405864.jpg (396.4 KB, 713x980, 1179101__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_princess cadance_alicorn_anatomically correct_anus_dialogue_human_human male_human male on ma.jpg)
File (): 6573ACC12CDA7BB38E82CFDC19AE6DB2-272649.jpg (266.3 KB, 620x850, 1155309__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_marble pie_anatomically correct_anus_blushing_both cutie marks_clitoris_crotchboobs_dark geni.jpg)
File (): 2816BA33FE4DEBF066BE7472590D583D-197458.jpg (192.8 KB, 800x646, 1155311__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_marble pie_anal_anus_dialogue_human_human male_human male on mare_human on pony action_human .jpg)
File (): 0A4800FC96153A1175B7D234DD3F5276-359583.jpg (351.2 KB, 900x857, 1155313__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_marble pie_abs_anatomically correct_anus_both cutie marks_creampie_cum_dark genitals_dialogue.jpg)
File (): B27734EC6C17A07DD618029FCCF38B7A-376133.jpg (367.3 KB, 740x900, 1132811__explicit_alternate version_artist-colon-stradivarius_pinkie pie_anus_both cutie marks_dialogue_female_looking at you_looking bac.jpg)
File (): 22E7CF5CCE965E6BCFE3D55004F3621C-301038.jpg (294.0 KB, 671x800, 1132813__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_pinkie pie_-colon-_=_abs_balls_blowjob_blushing_dialogue_drool_floppy ears_human_human male_h.jpg)
File (): 42A7DA73B8F45D7A92A60101746D65C3-276669.jpg (270.2 KB, 900x637, 1132815__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_pinkie pie_anatomically correct_anus_both cutie marks_butt grab_dialogue_grope_hand on ass_hu.jpg)
File (): 8B2C5DA827B141FF273ABA0B35A5DE41-342606.jpg (334.6 KB, 727x900, 1109361__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_maud pie_anatomically correct_anus_bedroom eyes_dark genitals_dialogue_dirty talk_dock_female.jpg)
File (): 194ABFFCA9C591E80D2FF911E10FF0C9-315886.jpg (308.5 KB, 900x877, 1109363__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_maud pie_anal fingering_anatomically correct_anus_cum_dark genitals_dialogue_dock_fingering_h.jpg)
File (): CB9AC0B3A4CD884831DAC558B8C7A569-334089.jpg (326.3 KB, 900x858, 1109365__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_maud pie_-colon-_=_bedroom eyes_blowjob_dialogue_drool_eyes on the prize_human_human male_hum.jpg)
File (): 54A6332C081850375A8426DE9DC2C5AA-331986.jpg (324.2 KB, 850x733, 1089632__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_princess luna_alicorn_anatomically correct_anus_bedroom eyes_both cutie marks_dialogue_dock_f.jpg)
File (): FCFB3CB8216746F3D8DC7FA08ED0C52C-362841.jpg (354.3 KB, 900x878, 1089634__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_princess luna_alicorn_anatomically correct_balls_blushing_butt grab_cervical contact_cervix_c.jpg)
File (): 817282B702E1A7794C7694649912B6F5-370434.jpg (361.8 KB, 950x863, 1089635__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_princess luna_abs_alicorn_anatomically correct_anus_balls_bedroom eyes_blushing_clitoris_cum_.jpg)
File (): C3831C2BF62AB1C3D7AA21345B95BBE2-350372.jpg (342.2 KB, 614x850, 1067903__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_sunset shimmer_anatomically correct_anus_bedroom eyes_bitch_cunnilingus_dialogue_dock_facesit.jpg)
File (): 8B4FBE0CE3BAAD6006D42F7CCB536F7D-278038.jpg (271.5 KB, 850x725, 1067904__explicit_alternate version_artist-colon-stradivarius_sunset shimmer_blowjob_breath_human_human male_human male on mare_human on .jpg)
File (): 8E8148C153D7819463F9A03584C18D62-499284.jpg (487.6 KB, 1000x756, 1067905__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_sunset shimmer_abs_anatomically correct_anus_cum_dialogue_eyes closed_human_human male_human .jpg)
>tfw there's only four images in this set, so you settle for a clean edit of the last panel as the fifth
File (): EA085CA11CD3F239BBD491438E48E5B3-488079.jpg (476.6 KB, 1000x807, 1044938__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_princess celestia_anatomically correct_anatomically incorrect_anus_bedroom eyes_dialogue_dock.jpg)
File (): 8BE36935E7B60B628508936114F1A11C-244503.jpg (238.8 KB, 900x748, 1044940__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_princess celestia_anatomically correct_anus_clitoris_cum_dock_human_human male_human male on .jpg)
File (): C1EF4F48B1612B26ECB907E663057688-362319.jpg (353.8 KB, 664x900, 1044941__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_princess celestia_belly button_blushing_crotchboobs_cum_dialogue_disembodied hand_female_fond.jpg)
File (): 666F76951C7AEAB5BE1864A63A9F99F6-392310.jpg (383.1 KB, 746x850, 1024317__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_rainbow dash_anatomically correct_anus_blushing_clitoris_crying_dark genitals_dialogue_dock_f.jpg)
File (): A2B21884AFCB6014A53FC02D7A5CD624-432634.jpg (422.5 KB, 900x782, 1024318__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_rainbow dash_ahegao_anatomically correct_anus_blushing_cum_dialogue_eyes closed_female_floppy.jpg)
File (): 147648FD6FABEB005E030566F7D71CB0-219846.jpg (214.7 KB, 700x589, 1024319__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_rainbow dash_all fours_anus_blue background_cum_dark genitals_doggy style_female_from behind_.jpg)
File (): E88B2F85C93AED71A96C7FA23B21F1F5-341904.jpg (333.9 KB, 686x800, 1003479__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_applejack_anatomically correct_anus_bedroom eyes_butt freckles_crotchboobs_dark genitals_dial.jpg)
File (): FCC7E986CCEA82A227344CF210A63BEC-251641.jpg (245.7 KB, 762x800, 1003480__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_applejack_anatomically correct_anus_cum_dark genitals_human_human male_human male on mare_hum.jpg)
>only four, again
File (): 76694B917FC723C0B4B01EAF39EF4497-553784.jpg (540.8 KB, 1101x1200, 581608__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_fluttershy_anatomically correct_anus_dark genitals_dock_estrus_female_inviting_looking at you_.jpg)
File (): 1222A3D33E54C6998EC89873E7134582-415402.jpg (405.7 KB, 878x1200, 581611__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_fluttershy_blowjob_blushing_female_human_human on pony action_human penis_male_nudity_oral_pen.jpg)
File (): CFE27C25A0989387D418779D633C73D5-447501.jpg (437.0 KB, 880x1200, 581620__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_fluttershy_blushing_boobjob_breast milk_crotchboobjob_crotchboobs_female_human_human on pony a.jpg)
File (): C96DEC0BCCFCFF9E6EA34D48FAFCA786-584529.jpg (570.8 KB, 1203x1400, 551559__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_twilight sparkle_anatomically correct_anus_clitoris_crotchboobs_dock_female_heart_heart clitor.jpg)
File (): 11BDCD43B8FF3457EFCE0E441EA9D3AF-432095.jpg (422.0 KB, 943x1200, 555686__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_twilight sparkle_anal_anal fingering_anatomically correct_anus_clitoris_clothes_cum_disembodie.jpg)
File (): C1F7D71B28240744E32F236D2161FADB-492340.jpg (480.8 KB, 925x1400, 555688__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_twilight sparkle_anus_blushing_clenching_clothes_cum_dock_eyes closed_from behind_heart_human_.jpg)
File (): B689CA3F4C69F54ADC3B0F103F51D351-297322.jpg (290.4 KB, 1280x1019, 504345__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_rarity_anatomically correct_anus_clothes_dialogue_dock_female_holly_holly mistaken for mistlet.jpg)
File (): 5272F2C6C57A26D31FC288E78328A9F2-548422.jpg (535.6 KB, 1077x1100, 504346__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_rarity_anal fingering_anus_blushing_clothes_cum_female_hand_human_human on pony action_male_nu.jpg)
File (): 2B1D7D1A81F676076776A0FB7793F11A-669303.jpg (653.6 KB, 1107x1400, 504347__explicit_artist-colon-stradivarius_rarity_blushing_clothes_female_hooves_human_human on pony action_male_nudity_pony_puckered ass.jpg)
Last set.
File (): 9525FE67949D49703A42639D4930D194-2617520.png (2.5 MB, 2048x2732, 1857515__explicit_artist-colon-negasun_tempest shadow_anatomically correct_blushing_looking back_nudity_pony_vulva.png)
File (): F1616FCE2348F79026EF7094FF0B982B-5386444.png (5.1 MB, 3193x3715, 1857526__explicit_artist-colon-neko-dash-me_sweetie belle_anus_clitoris_cutie mark_dock_female_mare_nudity_older_older sweetie belle_ponu.png)
File (): C099D2A714664236B5AD95E5E5AD5F56-1246595.png (1.2 MB, 1489x986, 1856836__explicit_artist-colon-fenixdust_oc_oc-colon-divine heart_oc only_oc-colon-vicious loop_anatomically correct_anus_blushing_clothe.png)
Bamp
File (): AEF5997687C6FA5D4AF118C8790463FA-1215198.png (1.2 MB, 1280x1024, 1853750__explicit_artist-colon-sugar morning_oc_oc-colon-bizarre song_oc-colon-lemon frost_oc only_balls_bench_big balls_breast milk_cape.png)
File (): ABD4F478CAC32674DAA2ABB15F670DEB-1227137.png (1.2 MB, 1280x1024, 1853751__explicit_artist-colon-sugar morning_oc_oc-colon-bizarre song_oc-colon-lemon frost_oc only_balls_bench_big balls_cape_clothes_cro.png)
File (): 73DA46AA33C9451E065FA2793C51FD06-3047339.png (2.9 MB, 3750x3750, 1853428__explicit_artist-colon-thequeen_derpibooru exclusive_oc_oc-colon-calamity_oc-colon-littlepip_oc-colon-velvet remedy_fallout eques.png)
'Nother bamp
Also, not actually horsepussy, but hot DAMN, the world needs more of this.
File (): 158A70C68B8E94E1D087BBA43DC513FB-346221.jpg (338.1 KB, 818x879, 1041442__explicit_artist-colon-etheross_applejack_anatomically correct_anus_crotchboobs_dark genitals_dock_earth pony_female_feral_frog (.jpg)
File (): 65D0C4715C058AC9F7A9A3B3E52B9408-157344.jpg (153.7 KB, 1280x1280, 1255650__explicit_artist-colon-etheross_princess luna_anatomically correct_anus_blushing_clitoris_crown_estrus_female_feral_fluids_hoers_.jpg)
File (): C396F0ADFA6C7B6AFB56CC3C2CEEE1D2-237773.jpg (232.2 KB, 1280x1126, 1392569__explicit_artist-colon-etheross_oc_oc only_oc-colon-sureibu_anatomically correct_anus_bdsm_both cutie marks_bridle_collar_crotchb.jpg)
Here's some hoers for those of you who are into that sort of thing.
This is an extremely lewd and unhealthy way to eat.
File (): 30FE76E180D44FB0BCF02C9CF6E02CA4-262751.jpg (256.6 KB, 724x1272, 1813727__explicit_artist-colon-jcosneverexisted_fluttershy_the mean 6_spoiler-colon-s08e13_anus_blushing_eyeless worm_female_femsub_immin.jpg)
File (): 5D2D25F125B6805174EC2AE495F54B1F-1343716.png (1.3 MB, 2400x2004, 1813319__explicit_artist-colon-succubi samus_oc_oc-colon-nova shine_alicorn_anatomically correct_anus_bedroom eyes_blushing_cutie mark_do.png)
File (): 39B67EC411713D2BA57D51A5618FA710-1845706.png (1.8 MB, 1800x1500, 1812663__explicit_artist-colon-tyzain_nurse redheart_anatomically correct_anus_clitoris_cutie mark_heart_heart clitoris_nudity_plot_ponut.png)
Anyways, here's your daily dose of bump.
File (): 2BD90CFAFCD8B69D3FDB9DED448ABDFF-636760.png (621.8 KB, 1280x927, 1848314__explicit_artist-colon-neighday_coco pommel_anal only_anus_anus only_armpits_bunny ears_bunny suit_clothes_coco is an anal slut_c.png)
File (): 878C478E5E9614B3D0540DC67E4E5511-688374.png (672.2 KB, 1280x1536, 1844804__explicit_artist-colon-mkogwheel_coco pommel_suri polomare_anal beads_anal insertion_anatomically correct_anus_ballgag_bdsm_buttp.png)
File (): 1EEA58D378584E0FE9A1905778A46966-569346.jpg (556.0 KB, 4396x3904, 1794995__explicit_artist-colon-godoffury_coco pommel_anal_anal creampie_anatomically correct_anus_bedroom eyes_clitoris_coco is an anal s.jpg)
File (): 529B6691AAE71C844555B34E87FC6D55-2091220.png (2.0 MB, 2486x2673, 1773161__explicit_artist-colon-neighday_coco pommel_anal_anal creampie_anus_blushing_coco is an anal slut_creampie_cum_cutie mark_dock_ea.png)
File (): 759DC7976D3DE7E11798185B801D1EEA-658488.png (643.1 KB, 2729x1993, 1787538__explicit_artist-colon-neighday_coco pommel_oc_oc-colon-lavender_anal creampie_anus_canon x oc_coco is an anal slut_creampie_cum_.png)
File (): A315116B0898A54776F9B8CB6EA1EAB6-1915753.png (1.8 MB, 3500x3500, 1733842__explicit_artist-colon-neighday_coco pommel_anal insertion_anatomically correct_anus_beach_beach ball_buttplug_coco is an anal sl.png)
File (): 593EB93356CD706B23C3895B6F30CA33-678527.png (662.6 KB, 750x750, 1634207__explicit_artist-colon-lumineko_coco pommel_rarity_anatomically correct_anus_bed_blushing_clitoris_clothes_coco is an anal slut_d.png)
File (): 9D577240D2D4F2989BA7E16FCBF095F8-396092.png (386.8 KB, 1280x917, 1670964__explicit_artist-colon-pabbley_coco pommel_30 minute art challenge_ahegao_anal insertion_anatomically correct_anus_blushing_clito.png)
File (): CA888D4FF55D58C037934333D3E71B89-1113973.png (1.1 MB, 1313x750, 1628933__explicit_artist-colon-lumineko_coco pommel_rarity_anal insertion_anal orgasm_anatomically correct_anus_bedroom eyes_blushing_clo.png)
File (): D75D279034878D619C987432EEF15FDD-267039.png (260.8 KB, 1155x761, 1552627__explicit_artist-colon-neighday_coco pommel_anal insertion_anus_buttplug_coco is an anal slut_female_insertion_masturbation_monoc.png)
File (): 2BABE0B3BE880537C5F1ABB2879CA825-617442.gif (603.0 KB, 946x500, 1472561__explicit_artist-colon-neighday_coco pommel_anal_animated_anus_coco is an anal slut_cute_cute porn_disembodied penis_dock_earth p.gif)
File (): 9A3B6D002576269A2CD782BAF6EF9DDF-1046859.png (1.0 MB, 1227x1456, 1436911__explicit_alternate version_artist-colon-neighday_coco pommel_aftersex_anal_anal creampie_anus_bedroom eyes_blushing_bondage_both.png)
File (): F2ECB7EC3DB99826CD2389DBD38C9A11-51042.png (49.8 KB, 748x477, 1350547__explicit_artist-colon-anearbyanimal_coco pommel_anal_coco is an anal slut_female_female focus_frog (hoof)_grayscale_masturbation.png)
File (): 6388DFC7D0D5F03780A380C31269A8DA-442965.png (432.6 KB, 1280x1401, 1312598.png)
File (): E52CB7FCB29EBF393313A706A779A929-834220.png (814.7 KB, 2000x2000, 1238659__explicit_artist-colon-neighday_coco pommel_anal_anal creampie_anus_coco is an anal slut_creampie_cum_dock_goth_lidded eyes_lipst.png)
>>179444
Checked, and apologies for the delay. Dinner came up.
Here's one last batch of Coco being an anal slut, then I'll get to human on Coco action.
Checked, and apologies for the delay. Dinner came up.
Here's one last batch of Coco being an anal slut, then I'll get to human on Coco action.
File (): D6309CE772FAD21DFE982540427015D7-211678.png (206.7 KB, 1200x1200, 940780__explicit_artist-colon-pbhorse_coco pommel_anal_anus_coco is an anal slut_hooves_human_human on pony action_interspecies_lip bite_.png)
File (): FB792A1295018E4691D5F153FC0D36E0-694712.png (678.4 KB, 3016x4116, 794750__explicit_artist-colon-badumsquish_derpibooru exclusive_coco pommel_anatomically correct_anus_bedroom eyes_blushing_dock_earth pon.png)
File (): 72BE817498AD499113C7BA5CF8105E93-691628.png (675.4 KB, 3016x4116, 814796__explicit_artist-colon-badumsquish_derpibooru exclusive_coco pommel_absurd res_anatomically correct_anus_blushing_creampie_cum_cum.png)
There isn't a massive selection of human on Coco images, but here's what I've got.
File (): E56FA1BC873AA602B68F91218D55B7D5-9165.jpg (9.0 KB, 303x166, 2B30F0F0-A857-473B-A6AA-2C156CE72BE6.jpeg)
File (): 7B1F1CF75DE7105259F69BD86386094B-3693742.png (3.5 MB, 2231x2840, 1858654__explicit_artist-colon-andaluce_artist-colon-stoic5_applejack_2 handfuls of dat ass_anus_bulge_clitoris_colored_earth pony_female.png)
File (): 45927B0111787ED923F24A3930FE5F8C-1059658.png (1.0 MB, 1012x1230, 1847943__explicit_artist-colon-alcor_oc_oc only_oc-colon-sign_blowjob_blushing_body writing_crying_cum_cum in mouth_deepthroat_disembodie.png)
File (): 5AFFE9D2A6F343176DBA05FE55D3BE63-1402216.png (1.3 MB, 1947x2044, 1848615__explicit_artist-colon-alcor_twilight sparkle_alicorn_anus_cunnilingus_facesitting_grabbing ass_human_human on pony action_inters.png)
>>179504
Depends on how much you spend on vodka and how much you spend on food. I feel like if you really want to be doing depression right your vodka should ideally come in a plastic one gallon jug and should not cost you more than ten dollars. If your idea of a proper meal for two costs less than ten dollars you're probably better off just buying the vodka instead and saving yourself the trouble.
Depends on how much you spend on vodka and how much you spend on food. I feel like if you really want to be doing depression right your vodka should ideally come in a plastic one gallon jug and should not cost you more than ten dollars. If your idea of a proper meal for two costs less than ten dollars you're probably better off just buying the vodka instead and saving yourself the trouble.
File (): FB8E1866E95BAC63DFAEBF959B66B4EF-20840.jpg (20.4 KB, 306x349, 33EAE61C-C356-47B5-A5DC-0525506FCA6C.jpeg)
>>179506
>one gallon of cheap vodka
>$10 dollarydoos
>a fucking gallon for $10 dollars
US prices make me cry
>one gallon of cheap vodka
>$10 dollarydoos
>a fucking gallon for $10 dollars
US prices make me cry
File (): BDA8ADBCFE5325C308146BB0BBA49597-282535.jpg (275.9 KB, 2048x1316, image.jpeg)
File (): 2546D3CDE14851CC15319D6D26458F3E-338948.jpg (331.0 KB, 517x768, 5C4486B8-BAF9-45F4-A4C3-0B787EBC06D8.jpeg)
File (): 77324CBDF4483077C2C6C376112C1A81-20174.jpg (19.7 KB, 400x400, A4B77E89-BD2D-4EC6-8991-15AEF8A8DB9B.jpeg)
File (): C7E43CB4E6EDD95016CFDE208166C358-342763.png (334.7 KB, 2468x1003, Screen Shot 2018-10-18 at 11.39.35 PM.png)
>>179513
What, you assume that just because we like ponies it means that none of us can get vagina sex? I'm pretty sure all of us are drowning in vaginas sex except you, anon.
What, you assume that just because we like ponies it means that none of us can get vagina sex? I'm pretty sure all of us are drowning in vaginas sex except you, anon.
File (): 3400033465C9E6598CC7113FC60E23C7-954457.png (932.1 KB, 711x919, 427A179B-3840-4119-AF62-9391400A4E85.png)
File (): DCF904C0CED40E50C11F844C908248BC-84832.jpg (82.8 KB, 480x682, 1527690016448.jpg)
File (): C075BE931AC2EB94AAB32E8E7D5B0F81-6305.jpg (6.2 KB, 291x173, Apple on apple.jpg)
>>179565
1. Approach 3D girl
2. Poke her to make sure she is 3D girl and not Adderall™ induced hallucination
3. Poke her again to make sure
4. Inform her you want vagina sex and that she must respond immediately or no deal
5. Breathe heavily, through mouth only so she knows your kissing mouth works also for breathing
6. Poke her again if no response
7. If still no response repeat above steps until response or vagina sex
1. Approach 3D girl
2. Poke her to make sure she is 3D girl and not Adderall™ induced hallucination
3. Poke her again to make sure
4. Inform her you want vagina sex and that she must respond immediately or no deal
5. Breathe heavily, through mouth only so she knows your kissing mouth works also for breathing
6. Poke her again if no response
7. If still no response repeat above steps until response or vagina sex
File (): 4F905EC875B7A966C4EE405BFA4F3E2C-64710.png (63.2 KB, 680x680, _benis hmmm.png)
File (): F83145C26AF819B18DB49B5C1D5E2D24-89320.png (87.2 KB, 244x322, 846789.jpg.png)
>>179574
No. If you ask them nicely most women carry special no-touching gloves which can go on the hands to make vagina sex less touching. If 3D girl does not have no-touching gloves she is probably out of them and must go to the store. Have pick up vodka while she is there. If 3D girl says she does not know what are no-touching gloves she is an Adderall™ induced hallucination that has developed sentience and corporeal form. Report her to ghost police immediately.
No. If you ask them nicely most women carry special no-touching gloves which can go on the hands to make vagina sex less touching. If 3D girl does not have no-touching gloves she is probably out of them and must go to the store. Have pick up vodka while she is there. If 3D girl says she does not know what are no-touching gloves she is an Adderall™ induced hallucination that has developed sentience and corporeal form. Report her to ghost police immediately.
>>179576
Thanks much. Follow up asking, can I vagina sex from across the room? I'm only allowed to have the 13 times vagina sex and I don't want wasted sex if the 3d girl cries or likes to dance the mamba. Also is restrooming allowed? Asking for friend.
Thanks much. Follow up asking, can I vagina sex from across the room? I'm only allowed to have the 13 times vagina sex and I don't want wasted sex if the 3d girl cries or likes to dance the mamba. Also is restrooming allowed? Asking for friend.
>>179577
At present vagina sex can only be performed from max distance of 2.51 ft (240 hectares or 1 kilojule).
At present vagina sex can only be performed from max distance of 2.51 ft (240 hectares or 1 kilojule).
>>179577
Also restrooming is allowed under certain circumstances. Be sure to alert vagina girl that restrooming will commence. Obtain special wand for restrooming as glove hands will be dirty with vagina. If you touch penis with vagina gloves it will produce matter/antimatter reaction and you will explode. This is not good for several reasons. Always use proper restrooming wand and always dispose of vagina gloves in designated hamper. Most rooms have them. Vagina woman will also know where hamper is. Be sure to ask for wand, this is very important.
Also restrooming is allowed under certain circumstances. Be sure to alert vagina girl that restrooming will commence. Obtain special wand for restrooming as glove hands will be dirty with vagina. If you touch penis with vagina gloves it will produce matter/antimatter reaction and you will explode. This is not good for several reasons. Always use proper restrooming wand and always dispose of vagina gloves in designated hamper. Most rooms have them. Vagina woman will also know where hamper is. Be sure to ask for wand, this is very important.
File (): 93F32B46DA7E3A41D51FFD04D32F1355-621090.jpg (606.5 KB, 1200x1200, 964467 - Fluttershy Friendship_is_Magic My_Little_Pony dobroch.jpg)
File (): 9883D9CAFCC035311613C55267EBED5E-1450293.gif (1.4 MB, 853x480, TwiNopegif.gif)
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File (): FFB3752647DBDEF4EF3754C1579A794C-434139.png (424.0 KB, 1280x1338, 1860531__explicit_artist-colon-neighday_fresh coat_anatomically correct_anus_clothes_female_hat_looking at you_mare_nudity_plot_ponut_pon.png)
What the actual fuck are you guys talking about?
>>179697
I tried to make a joke about how aids alcohol prices are in australia and proceeded to spark a discussion on how to obtain pussy
I tried to make a joke about how aids alcohol prices are in australia and proceeded to spark a discussion on how to obtain pussy
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File (): 0A52C37EA93E6BDD2667BEB2B35347C7-3259931.jpg (3.1 MB, 3000x2700, 68ab686104f3458259109f7d81d99cbd.jpg)
Some more diamond derriere for the top.
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File (): 8417213611C22E4B7DEF7DD44B34A54B-624601.png (610.0 KB, 862x1313, 1861598__explicit_artist-colon-bluemeganium_derpibooru exclusive_spring melody_sprinkle medley_blushing_cock worship_eyes on the prize_hu.png)
File (): 078600C8CA776FD8DB1E277FDBA863BE-3327201.png (3.2 MB, 4088x4382, 1861539__explicit_artist-colon-wickedsilly_oc_oc only_oc-colon-sleepy head_oc-colon-wicked silly_anus_creampie_cum_cutie mark_dock_female.png)
Bamparoo
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File (): 9E2846B2A556376BEF5D89669CE4973B-924750.png (903.1 KB, 1569x1298, 1598885__explicit_artist-colon-dusthiel_oc_oc-colon-clover patch_oc only_oc-colon-winter doodle_ahegao_blushing_crystal pony_crystal unic.png)
File (): 537DEE931C7F1A0CC2D75694470C341E-389834.png (380.7 KB, 1280x1105, 1598870__explicit_artist-colon-fensu-dash-san_oc_oc only_oc-colon-winter doodle_anus_clitoral stimulation_crystal pony_crystal unicorn_fe.png)
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File (): DED54634A7E6C8057CA6A8E0E68C01EA-575393.png (561.9 KB, 1392x1922, 1430232__explicit_artist-colon-livinthelifeofriley_oc_oc-colon-heart song_oc only_anatomically correct_anus_bed_bedroom eyes_blushing_cli.png)
File (): 2F2F07C110188C227C4F47B1025A06E2-269730.png (263.4 KB, 1250x893, 1428053__explicit_artist-colon-zeplich_sapphire joy_anatomically correct_anus_bed_blushing_clitoris_crotchboobs_crying_crystal pony_femal.png)
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File (): DA224D09EE1E7D48EBC2BC9BF5D03471-193410.png (188.9 KB, 900x818, 1373888__explicit_artist-colon-aquestionableponyblog_oc_oc-colon-nsfwfolly_oc only_crotchboobs_crystal pony_dildo_female_masturbation_nip.png)
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File (): 6C65ACEACE72C69AAE54F12CAB4B1691-107314.png (104.8 KB, 646x537, 1330612__explicit_artist-colon-whatsapokemon_oc_oc-colon-historia_oc only_blowjob_blushing_crystal pony_cute_cute porn_earth pony_female_.png)
File (): B7F5163D200E78758AA6BE3A9D157C10-236971.jpg (231.4 KB, 1180x1180, 1862146__explicit_artist-colon-el-dash-yeguero_lyra heartstrings_anus_dock_female_gradient background_mare_nudity_plot_pony_presenting_si.jpg)
File (): EAE4EA3EEF48ECE41484574D92CC768D-3082739.png (2.9 MB, 2040x2000, 1838252__explicit_artist-colon-evomanaphy_lyra heartstrings_bedroom eyes_chest fluff_female_flared_glowing horn_hand_handjob_horsecock_ma.png)
File (): 7AC7726EB048FF98054E3A94F3817535-744515.png (727.1 KB, 1423x1113, 1825219__explicit_artist-colon-glue_lyra heartstrings_cum_facial_female_glowing horn_heart eyes_horsecock_looking up_magic_magical stimul.png)
Bumping with some of the mint-colored mare.
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File (): A2D156788372B2F3746C42001A83FA89-881895.png (861.2 KB, 1280x1749, 1863257__explicit_artist-colon-waterfallru_autumn blaze_spoiler-colon-s08e23_cute_cute porn_horsecock_kirin_nudity_penis.png)
File (): FEF0A3E933405C8B17F885D9EE61CDBA-675715.png (659.9 KB, 1319x1438, 1863256__explicit_artist-colon-marsminer_oc_oc only_anus_dialogue_dock_female_looking back_mare_nudity_open mouth_plot_ponut_pony_raised .png)
Here be your daily porners.
There are at least 2k pictures archived by now. Where do we find them?
File (): A68CE82B1C3340249CA716A08F589D58-1556576.gif (1.5 MB, 1000x1198, 1850214__explicit_artist-colon-lispp_artist-colon-lisppnsfw_oc_oc-colon-feather sigil_oc only_oc-colon-sumac spirit_animated_bed_blowjob_.gif)
File (): C9FC8B009E52AE4E1EC8E6CF347EBA65-775975.png (757.8 KB, 1368x1453, 1842647__explicit_artist-colon-marsminer_oc_oc only_oc-colon-sleepy head_oc-colon-wicked silly_balls_blowjob_blushing_cum_cum in mouth_cu.png)
File (): A38732E330D47634EB2D492C68C7FE7D-364540.png (356.0 KB, 1606x1576, 1846595__explicit_artist-colon-ravensunart_oc_oc-colon-cinnamon spangled_ass_autumn_butt only_clitoris_cute_cute porn_dripping_earth pony.png)
>>180562
The last two threads were titled "obligatory porn thread".
Try searching in the archive for the word 'obligatory' in page.
The last two threads were titled "obligatory porn thread".
Try searching in the archive for the word 'obligatory' in page.
File (): 3847FE67D951AF323B0308566951576B-2843535.png (2.7 MB, 2048x2732, 1763732__explicit_artist-colon-negasun_octavia melody_anatomically correct_anus_audience_both cutie marks_bowing_butt fluff_clitoris_crot.png)
File (): FAF39147525D5A323EC0A7EDBB98BA51-1802101.png (1.7 MB, 1500x1500, 1779597__explicit_artist-colon-airfly-dash-pony2014_derpibooru exclusive_octavia melody_anatomically correct_anus_ass_clitoris_dock_ear f.png)
File (): AD70EB43FFCF54DFFFB33074DFAECBC0-11864858.png (11.3 MB, 3772x4688, 1770008__explicit_artist-colon-selenophile_octavia melody_starlight glimmer_anus_band room_bass_bedroom eyes_blushing_cello_dark genitals.png)
For today's bump: Treblebutt the Musical Donkey.
Sometimes, I wonder about the state of mind of these artists. I really do.
File (): 94F730D02A5DE5DAC9C96A631F6F091B-1628010.png (1.6 MB, 1886x1698, tensweetsforaride.png)
What type of pony could give you the best sex? Athletic Pegasi, buff Earth Ponies, or Unicorns and their weird magic shit?
no alicorns
no alicorns
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>>181039
You picked a pretty good time to make a request, considering I just got on. I'll post some of the human-loving mint pone.
You picked a pretty good time to make a request, considering I just got on. I'll post some of the human-loving mint pone.
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File (): BE51F2B2003DD7754196F2391FB452DA-4347990.gif (4.1 MB, 344x495, 412829__explicit_artist-colon-stoic5_lyra heartstrings_animated_animated comic_anus_backbend_comic_creampie_crotchboobs_cum_cumming_dock_.gif)
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File (): 4127755F2ADFC1EE4C50034FD8935E34-626429.png (611.7 KB, 1200x960, 340403__explicit_artist-colon-tiarawhy_lyra heartstrings_crotchboobs_cum_female_human_human on pony action_lube_male_missionary position_.png)
File (): 22F08560590161249822D16C21D96F6C-245871.jpg (240.1 KB, 1200x1128, 261617__explicit_artist-colon-crade-dash-elcin_lyra heartstrings_69 position_collar_cum_cunnilingus_facesitting_female_female on male_fem.jpg)
File (): FB4DA998DE18FC2A1ADB0E6AA3BD2A3A-1103911.png (1.1 MB, 1800x2400, 250627__explicit_artist-colon-dovne_lyra heartstrings_crotchboob grab_crotchboobs_grope_hand_human_human fetish_human on pony action_humi.png)
File (): 8F00BCB406D8F286FC17E3DA44113235-179148.jpg (174.9 KB, 1280x1093, 235451__explicit_artist-colon-drindecent_lyra heartstrings_anal fingering_anus_dildo_fingering_human_human on pony action_interspecies_nu.jpg)
Note to self: ensure Derpibooru filter isn't too restrictive in future.
>>181117
Because she has a nice design and is particularly popular for a background pony.
There's also that hand-fetish meme.
Because she has a nice design and is particularly popular for a background pony.
There's also that hand-fetish meme.
File (): 15332AF9D06B9BC95461CD8BA00BB638-21908.jpg (21.4 KB, 540x462, C953D645-5E3A-483D-8C24-A060ED65C8C2.jpeg)
File (): A6E2CB78BEA9C1C280E6B9FF4F132BCE-2971850.webm (2.8 MB, Resolution:916x990 Length:00:00:06, applebutt.webm) [play once] [loop]
>that sweet juicy apple posterior
File (): 2401900A5682118788DA7B721C760142-2122804.gif (2.0 MB, 820x480, 1869092__explicit_artist-colon-thecoldsbarn_applejack_animated_anus_applebutt_bandage_blushing_candy_clothes_cold's warm ghost wrapping_c.gif)
File (): 92591B1E51C7A82EC93514A433EA5748-345896.png (337.8 KB, 1084x1280, 1866882__explicit_artist-colon-scarlet-dash-spectrum_applejack_anus_applebutt_clothes_dock_earth pony_female_freckles_hat_heart_heart hoo.png)
File (): 4A362D8B65EA022D3A622EA213974D4F-715401.png (698.6 KB, 2000x2000, 1861570__explicit_artist-colon-etozhexleb_applejack_anus_blushing_earth pony_female_green eyes_looking back_masturbation_nudity_ponut_pon.png)
Many people think that Aryanne was inspired by RD. When you look at this applebutt art you know the truth.
File (): BAD903B9371D44236FA7B69B7C7682B3-686445.png (670.4 KB, 2763x2172, 1568912__explicit_alternate version_artist-colon-pastel-dash-pony-dash-princess_pear butter_anatomically correct_anus_both cutie marks_bu.png)
File (): E93EF264A0BA514FE8CF815E50A52970-2550380.png (2.4 MB, 3500x3500, 1536618__explicit_artist-colon-matimus91_pear butter_the perfect pear_adorasexy_anatomically correct_anus_crotchboobs_cute_dock_female_mi.png)
File (): 189E74BF7380F59079DF9141B0EF9961-499731.png (488.0 KB, 5000x3750, 1524023__explicit_artist-colon-an-dash-tonio_derpibooru exclusive_pear butter_anatomically correct_anus_bedroom eyes_clitoris_dock_female.png)
For today's bump: Pear Butt-er.
File (): 0803FAB01B918BF123615D3CFE481D40-226240.png (220.9 KB, 1024x1024, lusciousnet_179282-artist_khorme-vo_1913700192.1024x0.png)
bump
Say I was thinking of buying a fleshlight. Just one, and it could either be a horse pussy or human pussy.
Which would you recommend?
Which would you recommend?
>>182893
You can get human pussy any time you want from a whore, and horse pussy is more aesthetically pleasing besides. There's absolutely no reason not to go horse.
You can get human pussy any time you want from a whore, and horse pussy is more aesthetically pleasing besides. There's absolutely no reason not to go horse.
File (): 5C1D5C4C6261A1CC42DE6849DF8AC9BA-5707789.png (5.4 MB, 4560x3732, 1874471__explicit_artist-colon-fenixdust_oc_oc-colon-ivy_anatomically correct_anus_chest fluff_clothes_crotchboobs_dock_female_mare_nudit.png)
File (): 480E3DB751EFEFC8911493B74D9A1C6F-199511.jpg (194.8 KB, 1280x1045, 1874391__explicit_artist-colon-hysharc_oc_oc only_oc-colon-para rear_anus_blushing_clitoris_clothes_female_looking at you_looking back_ma.jpg)
File (): 83048E1B3D6319BC3F0C37BACD26CBED-881340.png (860.7 KB, 2000x1432, 1874279__source needed_explicit_artist-colon-bertram-dash-orvud_oc_oc-colon-princess margarita_alicorn_alicorn oc_anus_blep_cyrillic_fema.png)
File (): 7FD39DE059BEFA13E5E6EF22695386CC-54567.jpg (53.3 KB, 821x619, 791EE19B-C131-49D4-9FF8-5E5D74720E08.jpeg)
>>182922
>>182921
If you get caught be prepared to lose your social life with your parents for a few months it happened to me, also your parents might want you to throw it out because their house there rules so fair enough, also if you have the grave misfortune of a brother and sister you basically gave them ammunition to embarrass you in any situation
>>182921
If you get caught be prepared to lose your social life with your parents for a few months it happened to me, also your parents might want you to throw it out because their house there rules so fair enough, also if you have the grave misfortune of a brother and sister you basically gave them ammunition to embarrass you in any situation
Say I get a horse pussy flashlight online. Any recommendations on the source, what firmness rating to choose if it gives me that option, whether to pick a brightly coloured pony one or general horse one, etc?
File (): 428DB8D8ADE214383C3671C6FA64F036-3406237.png (3.2 MB, 3000x4000, 1785512__explicit_artist-colon-an-dash-tonio_artist-colon-pananovich_oc_oc-colon-flourish glade_bat pony_bat pony oc_bedroom eyes_bimbo_b.png)
File (): 52BCB4464AEB03F794D75B3415ADF021-5562842.png (5.3 MB, 3000x3000, 1785859__explicit_artist-colon-rinikka_stellar flare_art pack-colon-summer milf paradise_anatomically correct_anus_beach_bedroom eyes_cro.png)
File (): 7B9DB89C266C87E9F2712ABF7D4349F0-4558176.png (4.3 MB, 4000x2694, 1689339__explicit_artist-colon-shinodage_artist-colon-teraspell_edit_night light_twilight velvet_assisted blowjob_blowjob_blushing_dilf_d.png)
@183053
That is r00d as fuk, boi.
That is r00d as fuk, boi.
File (): FF8A071BC6CF08B6529E29AB8E343C6F-636992.png (622.1 KB, 2766x4018, 1687748__explicit_artist-colon-grypher_derpibooru exclusive_starlight glimmer_anatomically correct_anus_dock_equal cutie mark_female_look.png)
File (): F3EBBB6DA2A8961852CF1D66DC5A768D-5630330.gif (5.4 MB, 1108x1080, 1686937__explicit_artist-colon-spectre-dash-z_edit_fluttershy_animated_bent over_blushing_clitoris_cute_cute porn_daaaaaaaaaaaw_disembodi.gif)
File (): B35F9206C69FA7FDFE6A7825C6F75873-344677.gif (336.6 KB, 482x500, 1686917__explicit_artist-colon-sakura_hime21_oc_oc-colon-kiva_oc only_animated_anus_creampie_cum_dock_female_female focus_insertion_male_.gif)
File (): 9D66A0D4E7103D700B88EEC33C55DB14-568950.png (555.6 KB, 900x1400, Leslie from behind.png)
I tried drawing porn again
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File (): F7A24F0E9D9C2319A5B829650022B3E0-351131.png (342.9 KB, 1342x1312, 1830910__explicit_artist-colon-mr-dot- rottson_dj pon-dash-3_vinyl scratch_anatomically correct_anus_box_dock_female_looking at you_looki.png)
File (): D634F95012BD56B0B791E72D242A03B9-1806205.gif (1.7 MB, 600x450, 1831143__explicit_artist-colon-negasun_princess cadance_shining armor_alicorn_anatomically correct_and that's how flurry heart was made_a.gif)
File (): A6C1875AF098B22D6B26411E98F426CB-680606.png (664.7 KB, 1280x1065, 1831665__explicit_artist-colon-neighday_oc_oc-colon-delta vee_oc only_adorasexy_anal only_anus_bed_clothes_cute_female_glasses_mare_nudit.png)
Daily bump.
File (): D32B4D75F85A2697D17B0D96560DD7E8-1440435.gif (1.4 MB, 1000x1175, _Lyra-1.gif)
File (): 379F2A320C99F2ED324288566DB87B57-664039.png (648.5 KB, 2000x2000, 1688334__explicit_artist-colon-ribiruby_fluttershy_anus_collar_dock_female_flutterbutt_hair over one eye_looking back_mare_nudity_plot_po.png)
File (): D893D411FA1DA51BC352E5D3A2706C15-1051557.png (1.0 MB, 1855x1280, 1688420__explicit_artist-colon-shinodage_rainbow dash_silver lining_silver zoom_thunderlane_windy whistles_anal_blowjob_dialogue_female_h.png)
File (): 883F505860B57C38718F81226446F81C-736353.gif (719.1 KB, 500x500, 1689000__explicit_artist-colon-mr-dot-smile_fluttershy_animated_anus_blushing_dark genitals_disembodied penis_dock_female_floppy ears_hor.gif)
>and now this thread is bumped ahead
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File (): 333743B6D81C65DF859F9996F0674C1D-182320.png (178.0 KB, 1542x1759, 1769098__explicit_artist-colon-ultrako_oc_oc-colon-filly anon_1000 hours in ms paint_anus_armor_female_filly_foalcon_minecraft_nudity_pickaxe_presentin.png)
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File (): 9701B5F7F92C4A5C2186493FA25337E5-1243840.png (1.2 MB, 2000x1100, 1770154__explicit_artist-colon-stargazer_starlightglimmer_sunburst_anatomicallycorrect_blushing_clit.png)
File (): E25A26767CB809B28A5536147B83AB43-1459313.png (1.4 MB, 2688x2385, 1663522__explicit_artist-colon-redcrow32_oc_oc-colon-anon_oc-colon-filly anon_oc only_2 handfuls of dat ass_anatomically correct_anus_both cutie marks_.png)
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File (): 88CB89C2DF893D5CDDF2DE91C7A38A99-1222075.png (1.2 MB, 3128x4084, 1726221__explicit_artist-colon-trash anon_edit_oc_oc-colon-filly anon_oc only_anus_both cutie marks_clitoris_dock_dreamworks face_female_filly_foalcon_.png)
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File (): BA414735DD18838808C071E85A2605AA-940894.png (918.8 KB, 2500x1567, 1684513__explicit_artist-colon-phyll_rainbow dash_oc_oc-colon-anon_equestria girls_aftersex_areola_ass_ass up_balls_blue skin_blushing_breasts_busty ra.png)
File (): 2FAD69CAC27BB72778BECABBBA7BEB23-709745.png (693.1 KB, 862x1024, 1531132341929.png)
File (): F8F9927A4F9BF2433A33B3C80BDC033B-6394747.gif (6.1 MB, 720x720, 1530984571065-4.gif)
File (): DB6A652896BD6819D3FF97ADC959519E-3033838.png (2.9 MB, 1873x2500, 1531438016086-0.png)
File (): 0F0695099D3E88DDEA44762FF5926B00-301137.png (294.1 KB, 752x1334, 1531077653634-2.png)
>inb4 no hooves
File (): C2172674B13C425D53A7CEF19736FB67-640224.png (625.2 KB, 1024x1170, emotion_ponies___disgust_by_tsutarjalover-d91x1cv.png)
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File (): 78C09451038801BA3E1992815DA37EBC-147480.png (144.0 KB, 1510x803, 1880729.png)
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File (): 50DBB8683AFC65FBDA5AE077EAC877D8-1598289.png (1.5 MB, 1761x1000, 933057__explicit_artist-colon-pusspuss_berry punch_berryshine_anatomically correct_anus_back alley_barrel_bottle_clitoris_crotchboobs_dock_drunk_earth .png)
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File (): 48863C8DC75056DC87E1031D146D43B5-252545.jpg (246.6 KB, 1073x1280, 1045593__explicit_artist-colon-pusspuss_lily_lily valley_anatomically correct_anus_bedroom eyes_bottomless_clothes_crotchboobs_dock_female_floppy ears_.jpeg)
File (): 7DD836522E91596716CB70B652EC98E8-661026.png (645.5 KB, 1280x1493, 1664395__explicit_artist-colon-whitepone_velvet reindeer_them's fightin' herds_anus_blushing_community related_deer_eyelashes_female_look.png)
File (): 969DA5AF4663990690E7174BEAE9B7D1-609623.png (595.3 KB, 1280x1280, 1664414__explicit_artist-colon-mkogwheel_applejack_oc_oc-colon-anon_anatomically correct_anus_balls_balls fetish_ball sucking_belt_butt f.png)
File (): 69332FACFCCF57EEF695CD88C2D2B230-1054057.png (1.0 MB, 3330x2232, 1664710__explicit_artist-colon-shutterflyeqd_cloudchaser_absurd res_adorasexy_anus_bed_bedroom eyes_blushing_commission_cute_cute porn_di.png)
cute
>>177918
That fourth pic makes me kinda sad, i wish i had a mare like that to hold in the cold moonlit sky.
That fourth pic makes me kinda sad, i wish i had a mare like that to hold in the cold moonlit sky.
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File (): BB44431FB145F07EDB202D95FF0D8ACE-475331.png (464.2 KB, 850x850, 1011487.png)
File (): 42C91176EB8D23EDE44301D21EC9CFE5-3055756.png (2.9 MB, 1979x2825, 1287073.png)
File (): A92797917480EA238362F39F05C7A414-323437.png (315.9 KB, 530x797, 1882246__explicit_artist-colon-tsudashie_lyra heartstrings_anus_bed_bedroom_both cutie marks_female_floppy ears_grabbing_heart_human_huma.png)
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File (): 89E602C06656ED3DEDC036B02B27406C-813687.png (794.6 KB, 1280x1024, 1882176__explicit_artist-colon-blackkaries_cloudchaser_cloud_female_hooves_looking at you_mare_nudity_pegasus_semi-dash-anthro_sky_vulva_.png)
Daily bump.
File (): D9038BF0CD0E58F2BE5D511A10F0448B-679222.png (663.3 KB, 792x577, 1542015535774.png)
File (): CB3268E71F5C4E06D016D296BE5BA6B8-923162.png (901.5 KB, 1456x1320, 1794996__explicit_artist-colon-godoffury_lyra heartstrings_anatomically correct_anus_clitoris_dock_female_looking at you_looking back_lyr.png)
File (): C6E44119052D41578864576224B4BB6D-6101283.gif (5.8 MB, 900x752, 1798018__explicit_artist-colon-ribiruby_rainbow dash_2 handfuls of dat ass_anal_animated_blushing_dock_female_human_human male_human male.gif)
File (): 624307F4413CBB162C7D806CE9A5CA14-112445.png (109.8 KB, 500x500, 1798534__explicit_artist-colon-pusspuss_edit_editor-colon-celestiagonewild_rainbow dash_8 essential lines_anatomically correct_anus_butt .png)
File (): 2753523FE8BC048695198C72A5BF90EE-1852677.jpg (1.8 MB, 3000x2570, 123098132049814.jpeg)
bump
File (): 5899ABD4FA9E57EF1B1B1E9CFE0D8355-778972.png (760.7 KB, 900x750, 6c82cb95f19d012ff230abd9d279a83a-dbf26g1.png)
Who is best girl?
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File (): CA1856CEE2B604BE0EF31F3A09F5AC03-8066238.png (7.7 MB, 2958x3000, 1884222__explicit_artist-colon-chaosangeldesu_oc_blushing_commission_cute_cute porn_female_lying_lying in bed_nudity_pegasus_pony_red and.png)
File (): 4733B3D1CDF188F31E3C870E755699E1-1382837.png (1.3 MB, 2000x2600, 1860786__explicit_artist-colon-hoppygurl_oc_oc-colon-save state_anatomically correct_looking at you_looking back_looking back at you_nudi.png)
File (): 42DB78E5209A7F54C032557DADDAD7E5-745744.png (728.3 KB, 1280x1032, 1861402__explicit_artist-colon-pabbley_color edit_colorist-colon-celestiagonewild_edit_fluttershy_anatomically correct_anus_blatant lies_.png)
File (): 68DEE446AD6831D31362FED637979EDE-3192503.png (3.0 MB, 1960x2520, 1861835__explicit_artist-colon-imbirgiana_twilight sparkle_alicorn_anus_blushing_clothes_cute_cute porn_eye clipping through hair_female_.png)
Always on the front page
File (): 326C558C495A5FBC0DB2A59BBA5CCF62-245693.png (239.9 KB, 547x440, horsepus2.png)
Mods can you please sticky this thread. The first thing shills should see is horse pussy
File (): 203E4AE036797D276E9D05474AD44B84-2954172.png (2.8 MB, 2900x2875, 1511025892646-3.png)
>>189228
A sticky would defeat the point. Keeping horse pussy on the main page is the responsibility of all. The sacred flame must not be allowed to die, and for that eternal vigilance is required. The responsibility is yours, Anon. The responsibility is yours.
A sticky would defeat the point. Keeping horse pussy on the main page is the responsibility of all. The sacred flame must not be allowed to die, and for that eternal vigilance is required. The responsibility is yours, Anon. The responsibility is yours.
File (): 73DBE11A12EE5867268BCA499A0BD2A4-662125.png (646.6 KB, 1195x1024, civic duty.png)
File (): C5633AEE1261CA7BDC1B0F7D88B244BF-3128276.png (3.0 MB, 4000x2000, Tempest The Temptress (Lewd Cloths) (HD).png)
>>189324
Hooray evil anon, you've posted the 666th image in this thread. He's your congratulatory horse pussy.
Hooray evil anon, you've posted the 666th image in this thread. He's your congratulatory horse pussy.
File (): 8D188F1CDB37C56E9E3D94F0C1942CAA-2407889.gif (2.3 MB, 1280x986, PinkieSquirt.gif)
File (): F9E6C45F893E9811031AAAA6DC3DCC55-374395.png (365.6 KB, 814x870, 1791197__explicit_artist-colon-iuth_edit_bright mac_pear butter_anus_blushing_brightbutter_cute_cute porn_earth pony_female_flower_flower.png)
File (): 46BAB0982364C304A5526BB50A8CA3EA-2318612.png (2.2 MB, 2000x2014, 1778741__explicit_artist-colon-loneless-dash-art_bright mac_pear butter_big penis_blushing_brightbutter_cock worship_colored sketch_cuddl.png)
File (): BDE6E76A05DD8D84F2672E8627CA0820-5419850.png (5.2 MB, 4000x3000, 1641706__explicit_artist-colon-crash9902_bright mac_pear butter_balls_blowjob_brightbutter_cum_cum in mouth_deepthroat_eyes closed_female.png)
After this last week, I'm back to continue my civic duty. Have some of the purest pair.
>>189406
It bugs me that she looks almost exactly like Big Mac's "New" girlfriend with a new coat of paint.
It bugs me that she looks almost exactly like Big Mac's "New" girlfriend with a new coat of paint.
>>189409
Fug. Their hairstyles really are similar, aren't they?
I guess Big Mac is a Mamma's boi. Who would have thought.
Fug. Their hairstyles really are similar, aren't they?
I guess Big Mac is a Mamma's boi. Who would have thought.
File (): 9CCBA408EC662863623B292C27A98F31-105656.jpg (103.2 KB, 736x712, 3f5731d8f08d1c3ef76a2a387bc52a0f.jpg)
>>189435
You're only just now noticing? It makes sense that Mac would be predisposed to someone who resembles his mother, considering he probably has unresolved feels.
You're only just now noticing? It makes sense that Mac would be predisposed to someone who resembles his mother, considering he probably has unresolved feels.
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File (): 30EDA36E95906EBEFF41497B1D571421-2536846.gif (2.4 MB, 444x250, isitlewd.gif)
Bamp
File (): D5112A5BE0D3EBFFFAA5B21AF43B550C-7911884.png (7.5 MB, 4064x3434, 1891727__explicit_artist-colon-celsian_sunshine petals_anatomically correct_anus_background pony_blushing_clitoris_detailed vagina_dock_d.png)
File (): 245CF3738E37542C672CD7DE1B4A89F8-2079073.png (2.0 MB, 1854x2000, 1891582__explicit_artist-colon-deraniel_rainbow dash_oc_oc-colon-shiron_alicorn_blushing_canon x oc_cowgirl position_cute_cutie mark_jewe.png)
File (): 003EF154178FE89E4E8C11A1032624FC-18114987.gif (17.3 MB, 1020x1080, 1890904__explicit_artist-colon-htpot_artist-colon-ritter_marble pie_anal insertion_anatomically correct_animated_blushing_bondage_both cu.gif)
File (): EBC30CC2834B75EC9D4CFCADFA8AC278-553520.png (540.5 KB, 1280x1920, 1891014__explicit_artist-colon-poneboning_pinkie pie_anatomically correct_anus_both cutie marks_clothes_cutie mark_earth pony_explicit so.png)
File (): C2E820DB5C7A2B977C3E9C0885765C23-1223352.png (1.2 MB, 1613x1203, 1887665__explicit_artist-colon-vincher_autumn blaze_cinder glow_summer flare_sounds of silence_spoiler-colon-s08e23_ass_background kirin_.png)
File (): 05C170747FECEAA06AF76F19D9883859-1967032.png (1.9 MB, 3000x3000, 1886309__explicit_artist-colon-pesty_skillengton_oc_oc-colon-chai tea_oc only_anatomically correct_anus_clitoris_confused_dock_female_nud.png)
File (): 5CED84C30F47F503EBE9A4C641F6B844-7491232.gif (7.1 MB, 768x879, 1884671__explicit_artist-colon-abstractunitorn_fluttershy_animated_covering mouth_eyes on the prize_female_frame by frame_gif_halloween_h.gif)
File (): 02C60FBB97A4E6EDC5B028AE436612E4-10720539.gif (10.2 MB, 768x879, 1884678__explicit_artist-colon-abstractunitorn_fluttershy_animated_bat ponified_bat pony_female_female on male_flutterbat_gif_halloween_h.gif)
File (): 30C7823AD20B510C0A0AF52AD74CF667-782239.png (763.9 KB, 3300x2550, 1884812__explicit_artist-colon-viceviev_oc_oc-colon-comfy cozy_anus_clitoris_crotchboobs_female_heart eyes_nipples_nudity_pony_solo_solo .png)
File (): E062AA3985D04F0B9C955D3084A067BD-2338492.png (2.2 MB, 3000x3000, 1883071__explicit_artist-colon-pesty_skillengton_oc_oc-colon-candy quartz_oc-colon-retro wave_bat pony_bat pony oc_bell_blowjob_collar_cu.png)
File (): 2EFA7A7DA22E4B9D8934E98196EA9021-7477373.png (7.1 MB, 3500x2502, 1883432__explicit_artist-colon-dimwitdog_princess cadance_anal_anatomically correct_bottomless_clothes_duo_faceless human_faceless male_f.png)
File (): 504D40ED7A83FCB6F4E6063AB0264A29-1649178.png (1.6 MB, 4421x3111, 1882519__explicit_artist-colon-kinkypinkie_artist-colon-slb94_pinkie pie_clothes_looking at you_nudity_plot_prone_show accurate_show accu.png)
File (): A868A96287A526703520C7F0D4F8D6F9-520307.png (508.1 KB, 2174x2362, 1880866__explicit_artist-colon-zippysqrl_moondancer_anatomically correct_anus_beanbag chair_clothes_dialogue_female_floppy ears_glasses_m.png)
File (): 93F9A2035FA59613D478CD9AC0A44C2D-554128.png (541.1 KB, 1325x1099, 1880880__explicit_artist-colon-no-dot-35_oc_oc only_anus_face down ass up_female_nudity_presenting_solo_solo female_vagina.png)
File (): 50B1C547D707D5148D452148EF1B05F1-1311530.png (1.3 MB, 1447x1063, 1880381__explicit_artist-colon-sapsan_oc_oc-colon-anima_oc only_blowjob_commission_ear scratch_female_heart eyes_human_human male_human m.png)
File (): 9018962B1D1362F120F33B8AB16C215A-4572866.png (4.4 MB, 3840x2160, 1893181__explicit_artist-colon-zvn_autumn blaze_spoiler-colon-s08e23_bound_gangbang_group sex_imminent blowjob_kirin_nirik_nudity_penis_s.png)
File (): B3BD9A8E0B79F84F0FCBA1F194F8192E-4601334.png (4.4 MB, 3840x2160, 1893185__explicit_artist-colon-zvn_autumn blaze_spoiler-colon-s08e23_bondage_bound_cum_cum in mouth_gangbang_group sex_kirin_nirik_nudity.png)
File (): 9DECBF960D3F4088C0851FA3E3C9D04D-1949704.png (1.9 MB, 2900x2000, 1893125__explicit_artist-colon-rice_oc_oc-colon-blue pone_oc-colon-creative flair_oc-colon-kernel crash_oc only_oc-colon-red pone_balls_c.png)
Gotta keep the thread bumped.
File (): ECE42D69B6C7ED7E1ACF0156AC357436-296078.jpg (289.1 KB, 1280x1600, Spoilered)
Spoilering these, you have been warned.
File (): 53E15BFB5FFE3DD6BD29669D09ED24CF-188155.jpg (183.7 KB, 948x1280, 1892536__explicit_artist-colon-zazush-dash-una_rainbow dash_anatomically correct_anus_bridle_clitoris_cloud_cutie mark_dock_female_frog (.jpg)
File (): F369003A8B2654446EAEAF2D5DB17113-591309.png (577.5 KB, 1600x1200, 1894640__explicit_artist-colon-soulfulmirror_oc_oc-colon-midnight reverie_anatomically correct_anus_bat pony_bat pony oc_blushing_clitori.png)
File (): 955A6CAEE8020638F5F082C0EBC12C6F-908575.png (887.3 KB, 1400x1200, 1894132__explicit_alternate version_artist-colon-skylight_oc_oc-colon-delta vee_oc only_chest fluff_erection_female_floppy ears_grabbing_.png)
Last bump of No-Nut November.
File (): C89E6DD7C4A9DF0C30DA4AEC2DE98E87-2490210.png (2.4 MB, 2250x1800, 1895052__explicit_artist-colon-devo87_trixie_anatomically correct_anus_cape_clothes_dock_female_hat_looking back_nudity_smiling_solo_solo.png)
File (): 25B8FDF5153E97E76A7E9791351450E7-10184.png (9.9 KB, 702x667, 1896371__explicit_artist-colon-lux_oc_oc-colon-honey wound_oc only_anus_dock_earth pony_female_masturbation_nudity_pony_solo_solo female_.png)
File (): 76CB4E2AB8BB8A30C0F9996E4D45076F-2770596.png (2.6 MB, 2500x3150, 1896330__explicit_alternate version_artist-colon-ask-dash-shady-dash-reina_artist-colon-xsatanielx_oc_oc only_oc-colon-storm shield_cloth.png)
File (): 481C29178341580FF6FFFA94BD470E50-1258712.png (1.2 MB, 2000x2000, 1897227__explicit_artist-colon-thieftea_oc_oc-colon-candy quartz_oc-colon-retro wave_bat pony_bat pony oc_bell_blowjob_candywave_collar_c.png)
File (): BDF6674F477239BF720CA80A1DFFEF05-56770.png (55.4 KB, 540x479, 1897231__explicit_artist-colon-nevaylin_oc_oc-colon-nevaylin_oc only_dialogue_pegasus_plot_solo_stuck.png)
File (): F89A7F7EC1D4AAC7ECDA1648316A3063-372719.jpg (364.0 KB, 900x1216, 1897161__explicit_artist-colon-horsen_oc_oc-colon-jazmine_oc only_anatomically correct_anus_blushing_carousel boutique_clitoris_earth pon.jpg)
I feel like I'm the only one here, sometimes.
File (): D6CDF4A021747C6E7CC2379D79113040-25524776.webm (24.3 MB, Resolution:1440x1080 Length:00:00:33, 1895899.webm) [play once] [loop]
File (): B96BBFF0E412DEA59E44D0147B74E1FB-2551075.jpg (2.4 MB, 2480x3507, 1898313__explicit_artist-colon-unluckypaw_oc_anus_baking_clothes_female_looking at you_mouth hold_nudity_plot_ponut_socks_solo_solo femal.jpg)
File (): 9D1EFD0327CC3B27FBC8AD0DF0F4626C-73467.png (71.7 KB, 1357x1155, 1898052__explicit_artist-colon--fwslash-d-fwslash-non_princess celestia_oc_oc-colon-lazerblues_anus_canon x oc_clitoris_clothes_dock_goth.png)
File (): 6405B44B9683EE526A0E1CAD43A531B6-53410.png (52.2 KB, 1180x832, 1897976__explicit_artist-colon--fwslash-d-fwslash-non_oc_oc-colon-baja blaster_oc only_anus_apron_blep_clothes_crotchboobs_dock_hat_nippl.png)
File (): 435E5B008D2667CE30847B305A624327-3289821.swf (3.1 MB, , Cadence [p].swf)
How about an old classic for the thread?
File (): 49A5DB233D5B2095B72104A255CF3832-856433.png (836.4 KB, 933x1280, 1897256__explicit_artist-colon-hioshiru_oc_oc only_oc-colon-ritter_female_foalcon_male_mare_pegasus_penetration_pony_sex_straight_vaginal.png)
File (): CFE9E1B489188533DA6FD3920E1DA06C-613910.jpg (599.5 KB, 2400x3200, 1897414__explicit_artist-colon-dimwitdog_pinkie pie_angry_anthro_anus_blushing_clothes_cutie mark_dock_female_garter belt_human_human on .jpg)
File (): 7278531D52D1BEECF67A1ABA4E304388-146666.png (143.2 KB, 583x548, 1898803__explicit_artist-colon-jargon scott_oc_oc-colon-bahama nectar_oc only_anus_bags under eyes_female_nudity_plot_solo_solo female_vu.png)
File (): 85F212B5E133B4E58BCDB70F8D51EE0C-2457374.png (2.3 MB, 1920x1382, 1898794__explicit_artist-colon-darios_artist-colon-dariossukura_oc_pony.png)
File (): CBABF5D59AD64A600326564AD544446C-531381.jpg (518.9 KB, 4096x2304, 1897604__explicit_artist-colon-18ribiruby_artist-colon-ribiruby_pear butter_anatomically correct_anus_clothes_dock_earth pony_female_look.jpg)
File (): 094AA864E200B6F765AF893EBA4B6EA8-454318.jpg (443.7 KB, 3000x2000, 1839859__explicit_artist-colon-jen-dash-neigh_bright mac_pear butter_ambiguous penetration_blushing_duo_good clean married sex_sex.jpg)
File (): 8CDEDAAD1257C194607426CFB362BD07-725766.jpg (708.8 KB, 3200x2400, 1900472__explicit_artist-colon-dimwitdog_autumn blaze_sounds of silence_spoiler-colon-s08e23_anus_female_floppy ears_kirin_nudity_smiling.jpg)
File (): CE8EE25FD997144748E4434003114D3C-2864847.png (2.7 MB, 1600x914, 1293740__safe_artist-colon-pusspuss_octavia melody_comic_comic-colon-a mare named octavia_implied anon_implied human_monochrome_offscreen character_par.png)
File (): B657A9FD891D88D5E70FFA926E37ED99-2844013.png (2.7 MB, 1600x914, 1293743__safe_artist-colon-pusspuss_octavia melody_comic_comic-colon-a mare named octavia_implied anon_implied human_lidded eyes_looking at you_monochr.png)
File (): 2A77339E164FBA47A923C365B3347843-2925331.png (2.8 MB, 1600x914, 1293745__explicit_artist-colon-pusspuss_octavia melody_anatomically correct_anus_bedroom eyes_blushing_clitoris_comic_comic-colon-a mare named octavia_.png)
File (): 8281AA918B7EA609F07BBA93EC0133BC-2842183.png (2.7 MB, 1600x914, 1293751__explicit_artist-colon-pusspuss_octavia melody_anatomically correct_blushing_comic_comic-colon-a mare named octavia_crotchboobs_floppy ears_fro.png)
File (): 8DD3C86BA82D79BEE8F7A06B41A1083E-2853494.png (2.7 MB, 1600x914, 1293752__explicit_artist-colon-pusspuss_octavia melody_anatomically correct_belly button_blushing_clitoris_comic_comic-colon-a mare named octavia_crotc.png)
File (): 9B6B4C7DEA5B14833D29DCA44874C2F7-2862126.png (2.7 MB, 1600x914, 1293757__explicit_artist-colon-pusspuss_octavia melody_anatomically correct_blushing_comic_comic-colon-a mare named octavia_creampie_crotchboobs_cum_fr.png)
Y'know, Pusspuss is a decently good writer on top of being a good artist. Makes me wonder who the other artists like that are.
File (): 6DB180852D8DA7B69AF64E4508039898-6139381.png (5.9 MB, 6000x2963, 1844987__explicit_artist-colon-pusspuss_oc_oc-colon-cirrus_oc-colon-electro current_abdominal bulge_anal insertion_anatomically correct_b.png)
File (): ADF90740AE3281035E74440DA867E1AC-266539.jpg (260.3 KB, 1280x815, 1832261__explicit_artist-colon-pusspuss_marble pie_maud pie_anatomically correct_anus_clitoris_crotchboobs_dialogue_dock_female_hair over.jpg)
File (): 69B8BBF4D6E222C18250D2B8710C4ED2-18772162.gif (17.9 MB, 1680x1080, 1787031__explicit_artist-colon-htpot_artist-colon-pusspuss_rainbow dash_oc_oc-colon-skittle_animated_canon x oc_cowgirl position_cuddling.gif)
File (): 125DE2B39AC2BFC247B8C1C5B6325288-144814.jpg (141.4 KB, 1280x1084, 1860945__explicit_artist-colon-aponty_oc_oc only_oc-colon-wander bliss_anatomically correct_anus_clothes_cutie mark_dock_female_mare_nudi.jpg)
File (): AA7932E3EC0DBEAA50B41D8E97758D6B-1529062.jpg (1.5 MB, 6879x6225, 1776519__explicit_artist-colon-aponty_oc_oc-colon-belle de mer_oc only_anatomically correct_anus_dock_female_looking at you_looking back_.jpg)
File (): 57BC8C6866A5B1237CA364AD80D2A9D2-323490.jpg (315.9 KB, 2517x2278, 1506248__explicit_artist-colon-aponty_oc_oc-colon-littlepip_oc only_fallout equestria_anatomically correct_anus_butt only_clitoris_clothe.jpg)
Also, have some art from Aponty, to make up for how I didn't post over the weekend.
File (): DB94F0C103AC84C30FA84D0344AE4793-4934638.png (4.7 MB, 2500x4000, 1904898__explicit_artist-colon-seductive pony_cloudchaser_thunderlane_anatomically correct_anus_creampie_cum_horsecock_nudity_open mouth_.png)
File (): E9BD895164C40398EB614723105BF1E0-4985359.png (4.8 MB, 2175x2013, 1904897__explicit_alternate version_artist-colon-chaosangeldesu_lyra heartstrings_anus_blushing_female_looking back_lyra hindstrings_mare.png)
File (): 254E974F983F3CE978CB91FCEE8ECBDF-3596507.png (3.4 MB, 4093x4093, 1904321__explicit_artist-colon-jcosneverexisted_rainbow dash_30 minute art challenge_angry_anus_ass_box_crotchboobs_dock_female_looking b.png)
Would this be considered an early bump, or a late bump?
When I die, I want to be in between these thighs.
File (): 452662B32372F2B09535A1A50193B89C-4168137.png (4.0 MB, 2550x3300, 1905912__explicit_alternate version_artist-colon-ratofdrawn_dj pon-dash-3_vinyl scratch_anatomically correct_anus_blushing_clitoris_cutie.png)
File (): C2C7CEEC4693961BEBBEC22E6CE7E111-4652583.png (4.4 MB, 3213x2575, 1905734__explicit_artist-colon-alna fratcher_oc_oc-colon-firewire_balls_changeling_changeling oc_cock bow_female_male_mare_nudity_pegasus.png)
File (): C0F479B754DDA37EC851360ECE36EC1F-974337.png (951.5 KB, 993x1204, 1905369__explicit_artist-colon-shadikbitardik_oc_oc only_anus_ass up_bat wings_commission_dat flank_demon_demon pony_demonstration_female.png)
Hello? Anyone here?
File (): ED5502C4803545DFE68341C59836D6EC-1890317.jpg (1.8 MB, 1800x1800, 1473729162758.jpg)
File (): E48A8F431A871EF998C32537B2D987BE-535112.png (522.6 KB, 1196x1000, 1499402355001-3.png)
File (): 01E3285DF00D32205183FFA228828840-2350490.png (2.2 MB, 2500x1684, 1471509145940.png)
File (): 84EC7976B0A01AB4DFC4A325DD17FF07-1037917.png (1.0 MB, 1870x2000, 1471153274328.png)
File (): 7DC1457DD49FE7D91310B986F53D5BDD-1187040.png (1.1 MB, 1280x1280, 1484353546757.png)
File (): 9E218164C8C2175CF457FA40CA374DC0-15635794.png (14.9 MB, 5000x4000, 1904119__explicit_artist-colon-f0rever13_oc_anal_analingus_anus_ass_balls_commission_couple_cum_cumming_digital art_fangs_female_gaping_g.png)
File (): 8F2EDFB7430437C8D5659BF3B43FB717-1039106.png (1.0 MB, 2145x2617, 1903154__explicit_artist-colon-dimfann_rainbow dash_anatomically correct_anus_ears down_female_leaning_looking back_nudity_pegasus_ponut_.png)
File (): 3DDA5A9EAB03670528F4025F82233E98-3646215.png (3.5 MB, 4000x2667, 1902458__explicit_artist-colon-mercurial64_rainbow dash_anatomically correct_anus_beach_both cutie marks_clitoris_dark genitals_dripping_.png)
File (): 666EF8101FB93BC4B1D1B68409C0E9E7-491705.jpg (480.2 KB, 2400x2200, 1899064__explicit_artist-colon-passigcamel_fluttershy_anatomically correct_anus_blushing_dock_female_floppy ears_frog (hoof)_mare_nudity_.jpg)
File (): 2399FDAF54FB85F066ED87F7BE4ED6B9-14753084.gif (14.1 MB, 262x188, 1668172__explicit_artist-colon-t-dot-f-dot-a-dot-n-dot-c-dot-s-dot-_fluttershy_anatomically correct_animated_anus_bedroom eyes_blushing_b.gif)
File (): 6090C4F28E38DDC9826E9BDF3A953C69-3030656.png (2.9 MB, 2500x1523, 1656442__explicit_artist-colon-anearbyanimal_fluttershy_art pack-colon-nearby plot pack_anatomically correct_anus_art pack_bed_bedroom ey.png)
>>192117
She's just shy, and a bit nervous. I don't imagine she's very sexually experienced, much less experienced with exhibitionism.
She's just shy, and a bit nervous. I don't imagine she's very sexually experienced, much less experienced with exhibitionism.
File (): 637ECAFE7223005F4B330A723FC39C69-3708468.png (3.5 MB, 3508x2480, 1904280__explicit_artist-colon-amberpendant_oc_oc only_oc-colon-static spark_female_looking at you_mare_one eye closed_presenting_solo_solo female_wink.png)
File (): A144D84E18B5249983599C6E7D5BEE95-620702.png (606.2 KB, 2250x1575, 1905047__explicit_artist-colon-ambris_twilight velvet_anus_colored pupils_dark genitals_dock_female_gilf_human shoulders_milf_nudity_plot_presenting_ra.png)
File (): 1FE912EFC98273EE0C2C275E3E9CA248-3676887.png (3.5 MB, 2250x3000, 1905139__explicit_artist-colon-shinodage_oc_oc-colon-aces high_oc-colon-lavanda_oc only_anatomically correct_anus_blushing_caught_clitoris_dark genital.png)
File (): DC85E3C540C985A2614786EBCFD7F544-203125.png (198.4 KB, 695x653, 1907263__explicit_alternate version_artist-colon-redxbacon_oc_oc-colon-berry blitz_oc-colon-cheat code_ahegao_beanie_breast milk_clothes_.png)
File (): 65FF820EF1C062B1900CBBF42E096B08-6087629.png (5.8 MB, 3553x3319, 1906825__explicit_artist-colon-jarwis_oc_oc-colon-mistle_oc only_anus_candy_candy cane_christmas_dripping_female_fluids_food_holiday_holl.png)
File (): 462DE9471EAE012290A2ACB4DDB9BC82-6023244.png (5.7 MB, 3553x3319, 1906826__explicit_artist-colon-jarwis_oc_oc-colon-mistle_oc only_anal insertion_anal secretions_bow_candy_candy cane_christmas_double pen.png)
File (): 9AC44D66F3F3F2FB7561066E598154F8-6335725.swf (6.0 MB, , Double The Fun [p].swf)
>>192169 →
I saw that shit. And I'm sorry. How about another flash to make you feel even older?
The inspiration fairy visited me today, and if things go my way, you'll all have another porn green for the thread in time for Christmas.
>implying things will go my way
I saw that shit. And I'm sorry. How about another flash to make you feel even older?
The inspiration fairy visited me today, and if things go my way, you'll all have another porn green for the thread in time for Christmas.
>implying things will go my way
Bamp
File (): D60901845C5E55E2673884A6738B8000-154813.png (151.2 KB, 933x976, 1908842__explicit_autumn blaze_spoiler-colon-s08e23_anatomically correct_anus_crotchboobs_dialogue_female_kirin_-fwslash-mlp-fwslash-_nip.png)
File (): AF68CB051B3EFD553F18B370CA5FEC9C-12923319.png (12.3 MB, 4500x4900, 1908805__explicit_alternate version_artist-colon-nording34_aircraft_anus_blushing_cutie mark_nudity_plane_plot_presenting_vagina.png)
File (): C487A899D3971E40A537A4E37D3CF0FF-2435289.png (2.3 MB, 3000x4500, 1908755__explicit_artist-colon-ribiruby_oc_oc only_oc-colon-ruby_oc-colon-ruby big heart_anus_both cutie marks_dock_female_food_looking a.png)
File (): 36DB9CD02F3B3CB5B113788509EB4517-555826.jpg (542.8 KB, 1000x1500, 1538527382096-2.jpeg)
File (): DFC55877606185A5F1DF43D15D4447F2-1770811.png (1.7 MB, 1200x1600, 1754975__explicit_artist-colon-shydale_starlight glimmer_marks for effort_spoiler-colon-s08e12_anus_blushing_cutie mark_dock_female_glimm.png)
File (): 627330B2EA539FFAF4945163DBAC4312-1413490.png (1.3 MB, 1250x1500, 1751591__explicit_artist-colon-shydale_rainbow dash_anatomically correct_anus_between crotchboobs_blushing_bondage_bound_bound wings_cave.png)
File (): 7B928CBA06A8031250E96CCB37223346-1552921.png (1.5 MB, 1650x1250, 1636315__explicit_artist-colon-shydale_somnambula_anatomically correct_anus_dark genitals_desert_dock_female_hieroglyphics_looking at you.png)
You know, so far I've been treating my stories for these threads as big one shots to be posted all at once, but I think this time around I'll do things a little differently. This time I think I'll chunk out the new story bit by bit, both as a little experiment for my writing process and to take some of the load off our local vigilant burger in his quest to keep this on page one.
Pic related shall be our bachelorette for this season. Oh, and expect lots of setup before we enter the bone zone. I'm a sucker for setup.
Pic related shall be our bachelorette for this season. Oh, and expect lots of setup before we enter the bone zone. I'm a sucker for setup.
File (): 24684DBB2301A2D60FA98D259EB40B0A-138786.jpg (135.5 KB, 1024x988, _canada dance.jpg)
File (): D7EC829BCBDD5F175FDE6037F2258213-3449503.png (3.3 MB, 2000x2000, 1911492__explicit_artist-colon-rain-dash-gear_coco pommel_ahegao_anus_bed_blushing_creampie_cum_disembodied penis_dock_earth pony_face do.png)
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Got your daily bump, here.
>"Ahahahah! See, I told you the city was beautiful, my dear!"
>"M-my goodness..."
>Oh, are you here already?
>God, you wish you weren't here at all.
>"Well, my boy?"
"Hm?"
>"Really now, Anonymous!" your mom chides as per usual. "Travelling to such a spectacular place, and all you do is stare at that screen of yours!"
>Ugh, this again?
>Whatever, you don't need this.
>"Anonymous, are you even listening to me?!"
"Mmhmm."
>"Don't you 'mmhmm' me, mister!"
"Mmhmm."
>Yeah, you care so much about this dumb city you're going to.
>Stupid parents.
>Stupid trips.
>Stupid royal bullshit.
>"Incognito, please help me!"
>Now, back to beating your last score.
>Just a few more shots and--
>Quick as a flash, an orange blur swipes away your phone.
"What the--?! Hey!"
>"Eyes up here, my boy!"
>Oh, you've got to be kidding!
>Like you have any other choice but to look up at your stupid dad, with his stupid smile and stupid horseshoe stache.
>The game over screen flashes on your phone.
"Seriously?! I was in the middle of--!"
>"Wasting your time? Ah, yes, what a terrible loss!" he grins, totally aware of what he just did.
"Uugh, give it back already!"
>"Ahahahah! Not quite yet, my boy!"
"Stop calling me that!"
>"Shall I? But you seem so eager to play with these little children's toys!"
"Dad, I swear to God, I'll--"
>"Tell me more about where we are if you want your phone back?" he booms, smiling ever wider. "Why, yes! That's a wonderful idea, son!"
"Oh my God I'm going to fucking hang you!"
>"Anonymous Clover Augustulus!" your mom gasps, "You will mind your language this instant!"
>"My boy," dad intones, leaning down to get right into your face. "I would love to see you try."
>Whatever, he doesn't scare you!
>So what if he's built like a tank?
>So what if his stupid muscles are barely contained by his stupid military suit?
>You could take him!
>M-maybe.
>Uhh...
>Wh-why is it so hard to look him in the eye now?!
>And would it kill him to stop with his stupid fucking smile?!
>Ugh, you hate him so much!
>"Ahahahah!" he booms like always, "I didn't think so, my boy!"
"I hate you so much it's unreal," you grumble, arms folding.
>"So, what are we doing out here, my boy?"
>What kind of sick God would just let you suffer like this?
"Going to some stupid Hearthswarming party to talk to a bunch of stupid rulers about their stupid politics," you drone, refusing to look at him.
>"That is not at all what--!" your mom tries to get in.
>"Ahahahah! Very good, my boy!"
>"Incognito, please! You know that's not what the Hearthswarming summit is all about!"
>"Ahh, but it is quite close to it, my dear sweet Innominate!"
>See, he agrees!
>What's mom's problem, anyways?
>She's never happy with anything you do, but of course doesn't fucking tell you what to do better or anything.
>Noooo, that would take actual effort on her part!
>"Now, you do remember where the summit was being held, don't you?"
"Yeah, yeah, Canterlot. Like I didn't get it the first eleventy billion times the stupid aides said it."
>"Wonderful, wonderful!"
"Can I have my phone back now?"
>"I'm sorry, what?"
"Oh my God in heaven, you--!"
>He's such a fucking dick you hate him so much holy fucking shit why doesn't he just fucking die in a fire.
"Please can I have my phone back?"
>"I don't know, can you?"
"Aaaaagh! May I have my phone back, please?!"
>"That's more like it!"
>Finally, thank fucking God--
>"You may not."
"A-are you serious?!"
>"Your mother is quite right, my boy!" dad booms, tucking the tiny slate away into his coat. "Canterlot is such a beautiful city, it'd be a waste to spend time here with your eyes glued to that fancy little toy!"
"It's better than talking to some stupid ponies about stupid friendship magic!"
>"Ahahahah! Only one pony I know does that, my boy!"
"I don't care! I don't wanna--!"
>"Want has nothing to do with it, my boy! You're a prince, after all! Royals like us have no choice in the matter!"
"Yes I do! Give it back!"
>"Now," dad chortles, straightening out his jacket, "We're going to be escorted to Canterlot castle very shortly, my boy! We'll be led through the city for all the ponies to see, so I expect nothing less than star behaviour out of you if you ever want to use your phone again this year!"
"That's not fair!"
>"You'd best straighten your clothes out, my boy! These Canterlot types won't settle for anything less than perfection!"
>"M-my goodness..."
>Oh, are you here already?
>God, you wish you weren't here at all.
>"Well, my boy?"
"Hm?"
>"Really now, Anonymous!" your mom chides as per usual. "Travelling to such a spectacular place, and all you do is stare at that screen of yours!"
>Ugh, this again?
>Whatever, you don't need this.
>"Anonymous, are you even listening to me?!"
"Mmhmm."
>"Don't you 'mmhmm' me, mister!"
"Mmhmm."
>Yeah, you care so much about this dumb city you're going to.
>Stupid parents.
>Stupid trips.
>Stupid royal bullshit.
>"Incognito, please help me!"
>Now, back to beating your last score.
>Just a few more shots and--
>Quick as a flash, an orange blur swipes away your phone.
"What the--?! Hey!"
>"Eyes up here, my boy!"
>Oh, you've got to be kidding!
>Like you have any other choice but to look up at your stupid dad, with his stupid smile and stupid horseshoe stache.
>The game over screen flashes on your phone.
"Seriously?! I was in the middle of--!"
>"Wasting your time? Ah, yes, what a terrible loss!" he grins, totally aware of what he just did.
"Uugh, give it back already!"
>"Ahahahah! Not quite yet, my boy!"
"Stop calling me that!"
>"Shall I? But you seem so eager to play with these little children's toys!"
"Dad, I swear to God, I'll--"
>"Tell me more about where we are if you want your phone back?" he booms, smiling ever wider. "Why, yes! That's a wonderful idea, son!"
"Oh my God I'm going to fucking hang you!"
>"Anonymous Clover Augustulus!" your mom gasps, "You will mind your language this instant!"
>"My boy," dad intones, leaning down to get right into your face. "I would love to see you try."
>Whatever, he doesn't scare you!
>So what if he's built like a tank?
>So what if his stupid muscles are barely contained by his stupid military suit?
>You could take him!
>M-maybe.
>Uhh...
>Wh-why is it so hard to look him in the eye now?!
>And would it kill him to stop with his stupid fucking smile?!
>Ugh, you hate him so much!
>"Ahahahah!" he booms like always, "I didn't think so, my boy!"
"I hate you so much it's unreal," you grumble, arms folding.
>"So, what are we doing out here, my boy?"
>What kind of sick God would just let you suffer like this?
"Going to some stupid Hearthswarming party to talk to a bunch of stupid rulers about their stupid politics," you drone, refusing to look at him.
>"That is not at all what--!" your mom tries to get in.
>"Ahahahah! Very good, my boy!"
>"Incognito, please! You know that's not what the Hearthswarming summit is all about!"
>"Ahh, but it is quite close to it, my dear sweet Innominate!"
>See, he agrees!
>What's mom's problem, anyways?
>She's never happy with anything you do, but of course doesn't fucking tell you what to do better or anything.
>Noooo, that would take actual effort on her part!
>"Now, you do remember where the summit was being held, don't you?"
"Yeah, yeah, Canterlot. Like I didn't get it the first eleventy billion times the stupid aides said it."
>"Wonderful, wonderful!"
"Can I have my phone back now?"
>"I'm sorry, what?"
"Oh my God in heaven, you--!"
>He's such a fucking dick you hate him so much holy fucking shit why doesn't he just fucking die in a fire.
"Please can I have my phone back?"
>"I don't know, can you?"
"Aaaaagh! May I have my phone back, please?!"
>"That's more like it!"
>Finally, thank fucking God--
>"You may not."
"A-are you serious?!"
>"Your mother is quite right, my boy!" dad booms, tucking the tiny slate away into his coat. "Canterlot is such a beautiful city, it'd be a waste to spend time here with your eyes glued to that fancy little toy!"
"It's better than talking to some stupid ponies about stupid friendship magic!"
>"Ahahahah! Only one pony I know does that, my boy!"
"I don't care! I don't wanna--!"
>"Want has nothing to do with it, my boy! You're a prince, after all! Royals like us have no choice in the matter!"
"Yes I do! Give it back!"
>"Now," dad chortles, straightening out his jacket, "We're going to be escorted to Canterlot castle very shortly, my boy! We'll be led through the city for all the ponies to see, so I expect nothing less than star behaviour out of you if you ever want to use your phone again this year!"
"That's not fair!"
>"You'd best straighten your clothes out, my boy! These Canterlot types won't settle for anything less than perfection!"
>>192944
>A guttural cry of anguish escapes your throat.
>It's not fucking fair!
>You didn't ask to be their fucking kid!
>God damn it, you're almost nineteen!
>You don't have to take this shit from them!
>You're a grown-ass man who can--
>Oh wait, mom's straightening your clothes out already, huh?
>"You had best be on your best behaviour tonight, Anon! Understood?"
"Yeah, yeah."
>"Don't you 'yeah, yeah' me, mister! Now come along, we're almost there!"
>Whatever.
>The doors to your carriage open up soon after it comes to a stop, and a bunch of ponies lead you and your parents down, where they make a show out of bowing and boxing you in with their stupid guards as they lead you on through the city.
>Yeah, yeah, it's so cool, because it's not.
>You saw the pictures, it's nothing special.
>At least that one Cloudsdale trip was actually cool, since the city was, you know, made out of fucking clouds!
>And didn't have a bunch of rich fucks and nobles eyeing up your every move, like the assholes passing you by on the streets!
>Ugh, just look at them!
>They must have silver spoons spot welded to their fucking teeth!
>Bet they're all inbred, too.
>Fucking nobles, every goddamn time.
>If every noble were to die today, the world would be a better fucking place.
>Fucking shit fuck son of a bitch you hate this trip and you want to go home.
>"S-so, dear," mom starts, "Why did you want to come to their party this year?"
>"Got to keep relations up with those pesky minotaurs, my love!"
>"They're not still upset about that mine dispute, are they?"
>"Oh, my dear, they're upset with just about everything we do!"
>Yeah, because humans are better than minotaurs in every single possible fucking way.
>Even their porn is God awful.
>Stupid minotaurs.
>"But alas, you know how Equestria is with keeping their neighbours happy. I hardly think the two sisters want to deal with us and the minotaurs going to war, after all!"
>Yeah, but the Dominion of Man could totally take the stupid Bovine Federation.
>The world would be a better fucking place without those stupid bulls.
>They're better as steak anyways.
>Stupid ponies and their stupid obsession about peace and friendship and all that gay shit.
>You watch, they're gonna just declare war on everyone around them when they least expect it.
>Hell, it's what you would do.
>Mercifully, you all arrive at the castle entrance without any further trouble.
>Okay, the castle actually does look kinda neat, but Jesus is it such a badly defensible design.
>Stupid ponies.
>"You must be the ones from the Dominion, yes?" the doorman-- uhh, doorpony asks dad.
>"Quite right!"
>"Right this way, Emperor."
>God, that sucks the most about being the prince!
>Mom and dad have the coolest titles, and everyone else is a stupid king or a queen, or a princess pony fairy gaylord.
>But you still get called the fucking prince!
>What the fuck, man?
>Why don't they call you a 'duke', or something?
>It's so fucking lame!
>Anyways, you all funnel into this big, expensive looking dining hall, where nobles and leaders of all kinds and races mill around, eating plates of shitty food and talking to each other about dumb shit.
>What else are they gonna talk about, fixing their countries?
>Nah, that'd take actual effort, wouldn't it?
>Dad takes some kind of list from one of the ponies, and mom's busy talking to some other waiter pony about something else, leaving you hanging around with your thumb up your ass.
>Why the hell do they even bring you, anyways?
>It's not like you ever talk to anyone important.
>All you ever do is just sit around and look pretty, like every other leader's kid.
>Whatever, at least there's food for you to--
>"Anon?" asks mom.
>Nevermind, no there isn't.
"What?"
>"Anon! Use your manners!"
"Yes, mother?" you drone, rolling your eyes for good measure.
>"The party doesn't start for another hour and a half, and this nice pony was wondering if you'd prefer to be somewhere else until then?"
>Hell yes you'd like to be somewhere that isn't this fucking hellhole!
"That sounds neat."
>"They've got a whole separate area for the princes and princesses to mill around in, somewhere that you might be more, well, comfortable in."
>That sounds horrible.
>But still less horrible than where you are now.
"I'd be okay with that."
>"Y-yes, well," she starts, almost sounding disappointed. "Just follow--"
>A guttural cry of anguish escapes your throat.
>It's not fucking fair!
>You didn't ask to be their fucking kid!
>God damn it, you're almost nineteen!
>You don't have to take this shit from them!
>You're a grown-ass man who can--
>Oh wait, mom's straightening your clothes out already, huh?
>"You had best be on your best behaviour tonight, Anon! Understood?"
"Yeah, yeah."
>"Don't you 'yeah, yeah' me, mister! Now come along, we're almost there!"
>Whatever.
>The doors to your carriage open up soon after it comes to a stop, and a bunch of ponies lead you and your parents down, where they make a show out of bowing and boxing you in with their stupid guards as they lead you on through the city.
>Yeah, yeah, it's so cool, because it's not.
>You saw the pictures, it's nothing special.
>At least that one Cloudsdale trip was actually cool, since the city was, you know, made out of fucking clouds!
>And didn't have a bunch of rich fucks and nobles eyeing up your every move, like the assholes passing you by on the streets!
>Ugh, just look at them!
>They must have silver spoons spot welded to their fucking teeth!
>Bet they're all inbred, too.
>Fucking nobles, every goddamn time.
>If every noble were to die today, the world would be a better fucking place.
>Fucking shit fuck son of a bitch you hate this trip and you want to go home.
>"S-so, dear," mom starts, "Why did you want to come to their party this year?"
>"Got to keep relations up with those pesky minotaurs, my love!"
>"They're not still upset about that mine dispute, are they?"
>"Oh, my dear, they're upset with just about everything we do!"
>Yeah, because humans are better than minotaurs in every single possible fucking way.
>Even their porn is God awful.
>Stupid minotaurs.
>"But alas, you know how Equestria is with keeping their neighbours happy. I hardly think the two sisters want to deal with us and the minotaurs going to war, after all!"
>Yeah, but the Dominion of Man could totally take the stupid Bovine Federation.
>The world would be a better fucking place without those stupid bulls.
>They're better as steak anyways.
>Stupid ponies and their stupid obsession about peace and friendship and all that gay shit.
>You watch, they're gonna just declare war on everyone around them when they least expect it.
>Hell, it's what you would do.
>Mercifully, you all arrive at the castle entrance without any further trouble.
>Okay, the castle actually does look kinda neat, but Jesus is it such a badly defensible design.
>Stupid ponies.
>"You must be the ones from the Dominion, yes?" the doorman-- uhh, doorpony asks dad.
>"Quite right!"
>"Right this way, Emperor."
>God, that sucks the most about being the prince!
>Mom and dad have the coolest titles, and everyone else is a stupid king or a queen, or a princess pony fairy gaylord.
>But you still get called the fucking prince!
>What the fuck, man?
>Why don't they call you a 'duke', or something?
>It's so fucking lame!
>Anyways, you all funnel into this big, expensive looking dining hall, where nobles and leaders of all kinds and races mill around, eating plates of shitty food and talking to each other about dumb shit.
>What else are they gonna talk about, fixing their countries?
>Nah, that'd take actual effort, wouldn't it?
>Dad takes some kind of list from one of the ponies, and mom's busy talking to some other waiter pony about something else, leaving you hanging around with your thumb up your ass.
>Why the hell do they even bring you, anyways?
>It's not like you ever talk to anyone important.
>All you ever do is just sit around and look pretty, like every other leader's kid.
>Whatever, at least there's food for you to--
>"Anon?" asks mom.
>Nevermind, no there isn't.
"What?"
>"Anon! Use your manners!"
"Yes, mother?" you drone, rolling your eyes for good measure.
>"The party doesn't start for another hour and a half, and this nice pony was wondering if you'd prefer to be somewhere else until then?"
>Hell yes you'd like to be somewhere that isn't this fucking hellhole!
"That sounds neat."
>"They've got a whole separate area for the princes and princesses to mill around in, somewhere that you might be more, well, comfortable in."
>That sounds horrible.
>But still less horrible than where you are now.
"I'd be okay with that."
>"Y-yes, well," she starts, almost sounding disappointed. "Just follow--"
>>192945
>Just then, a loud, unnaturally long gasp sounded out from none other than your dad, who you both turned to the instant the noise cursed your eardrums.
>Well, he looks excited about something on that list.
>"What? Wh-what is it, love?"
>"It can't be! She's here?!"
>"What? Who's here, Incognito?"
>Quick as a whip, dad pulls out his old flip-phone, punching in a number and waiting for the caller with bated breath.
>Uhh, what the hell's he all worked up about?
>Well, more worked up than usual?
>"Candy?!" he nearly shouts into the beaten up little phone, "Is that really you?! Yes, it's me, Nito!"
>"C-'Candy'...?"
>What the hell?
>"Good God almighty, my girl! It's so good to hear your voice after all this time! Where have you been?! Actually, wait, don't answer that yet! Are you at the...? Yes, I'm here as well! I saw your name on the register, and-- Yes! Ahahahah! My God, I didn't think you still kept this old number, my girl!"
>"H-honey, who is that?"
>Yeah, you're just gonna... leave, before he drags you into whatever horrifying new circle of hell he's conjured up.
>"Oh Candy, I'd love to catch up again! Where are...? Oh, you little devil! I'll be there right away! What do I want? Oh, do you still remember the usual? Yes, that's it! Ohh, we'll be there right away! Yes, I did say 'we'! Oh, I'll tell you when we get there! Don't you go anywhere! Alright, goodbye!"
>The phone flips closed, and he spins in place, grabbing mom by the wrist.
>"My love, I'd like to introduce you to a dear old friend of mine!"
>"A-an old friend? Who?"
>"Bah, I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise! Come, come!"
>"B-but what about--?"
>"My boy," he calls over to you, "Me and your mother have important things to do right now, so be on your best behaviour until we get back!"
"Uhh, o... kay?"
>"We'll see you in about an hour, my boy!"
>Mom doesn't even get a chance to reply before dad runs off with her into the crowd, leaving you all alone.
>Okay then, that happened.
>Well, whatever.
>Deciding to promptly get the hell out of this dump, you follow along with that pony mom was talking to before, who leads you into a smaller, much less populated dining hall.
>Yep, exactly what you thought you'd see here.
>Princes and princesses of all the same races you'd seen in the last hall.
>Trading one hell for another, are you?
>God, you wish you had your phone right now.
>Stupid dad.
>Fortunately, the dumbfuck hellspawn in the room don't pay attention to you for long, thanks to whatever commotion was coming from another set of doors in the back.
>They fly open with some freaky pony magic, and--
>"At least give me my phone back, damn it!" cries some girl pony.
>"After your behaviour today?" answers some man pony. "Absolutely not."
>"But I--"
>"Your mother and I are going to be talking to some friends of hers now. Stay here, and don't cause any trouble."
>"Dad, would you please just--?!"
>"The answer is no, Flurry."
>"But--"
>"We'll see you in an hour."
>Well, of all the things you expected to see, you didn't expect to see some white, blue haired, effeminate unicorn man all but shove some other white unicorn girl into this room, before shutting the door behind him.
>Somehow he'd even managed a pitch perfect 'so done with this shit' look on his face, too.
>"Aaaaagh!" that girl pony screeches back at the door, her wings flaring out. "I hate you so much!"
>Wait, wings?
>Wait holy shit, is that pony an--?
>"Whoooooamygosh!" a ditzy sounding girl calls right after getting into your face. "You're one of those hyoomans!"
>Oh dear God no, not a fucking hippogriff.
>"Hi there! My name is Seastar! Princess Seastar, but hey, we're all royalty here, right? Heeheeheehee!"
>Ravioli ravioli, please shoot me in the headioli.
>Just then, a loud, unnaturally long gasp sounded out from none other than your dad, who you both turned to the instant the noise cursed your eardrums.
>Well, he looks excited about something on that list.
>"What? Wh-what is it, love?"
>"It can't be! She's here?!"
>"What? Who's here, Incognito?"
>Quick as a whip, dad pulls out his old flip-phone, punching in a number and waiting for the caller with bated breath.
>Uhh, what the hell's he all worked up about?
>Well, more worked up than usual?
>"Candy?!" he nearly shouts into the beaten up little phone, "Is that really you?! Yes, it's me, Nito!"
>"C-'Candy'...?"
>What the hell?
>"Good God almighty, my girl! It's so good to hear your voice after all this time! Where have you been?! Actually, wait, don't answer that yet! Are you at the...? Yes, I'm here as well! I saw your name on the register, and-- Yes! Ahahahah! My God, I didn't think you still kept this old number, my girl!"
>"H-honey, who is that?"
>Yeah, you're just gonna... leave, before he drags you into whatever horrifying new circle of hell he's conjured up.
>"Oh Candy, I'd love to catch up again! Where are...? Oh, you little devil! I'll be there right away! What do I want? Oh, do you still remember the usual? Yes, that's it! Ohh, we'll be there right away! Yes, I did say 'we'! Oh, I'll tell you when we get there! Don't you go anywhere! Alright, goodbye!"
>The phone flips closed, and he spins in place, grabbing mom by the wrist.
>"My love, I'd like to introduce you to a dear old friend of mine!"
>"A-an old friend? Who?"
>"Bah, I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise! Come, come!"
>"B-but what about--?"
>"My boy," he calls over to you, "Me and your mother have important things to do right now, so be on your best behaviour until we get back!"
"Uhh, o... kay?"
>"We'll see you in about an hour, my boy!"
>Mom doesn't even get a chance to reply before dad runs off with her into the crowd, leaving you all alone.
>Okay then, that happened.
>Well, whatever.
>Deciding to promptly get the hell out of this dump, you follow along with that pony mom was talking to before, who leads you into a smaller, much less populated dining hall.
>Yep, exactly what you thought you'd see here.
>Princes and princesses of all the same races you'd seen in the last hall.
>Trading one hell for another, are you?
>God, you wish you had your phone right now.
>Stupid dad.
>Fortunately, the dumbfuck hellspawn in the room don't pay attention to you for long, thanks to whatever commotion was coming from another set of doors in the back.
>They fly open with some freaky pony magic, and--
>"At least give me my phone back, damn it!" cries some girl pony.
>"After your behaviour today?" answers some man pony. "Absolutely not."
>"But I--"
>"Your mother and I are going to be talking to some friends of hers now. Stay here, and don't cause any trouble."
>"Dad, would you please just--?!"
>"The answer is no, Flurry."
>"But--"
>"We'll see you in an hour."
>Well, of all the things you expected to see, you didn't expect to see some white, blue haired, effeminate unicorn man all but shove some other white unicorn girl into this room, before shutting the door behind him.
>Somehow he'd even managed a pitch perfect 'so done with this shit' look on his face, too.
>"Aaaaagh!" that girl pony screeches back at the door, her wings flaring out. "I hate you so much!"
>Wait, wings?
>Wait holy shit, is that pony an--?
>"Whoooooamygosh!" a ditzy sounding girl calls right after getting into your face. "You're one of those hyoomans!"
>Oh dear God no, not a fucking hippogriff.
>"Hi there! My name is Seastar! Princess Seastar, but hey, we're all royalty here, right? Heeheeheehee!"
>Ravioli ravioli, please shoot me in the headioli.
File (): 74A85F96BBAADEC4DA58AB6536AC4326-115024.jpg (112.3 KB, 955x469, 1482260375082.jpg)
>>192946
All this in just one wine fueled night? That's a new personal best. Got a real good feeling about this one, fellas. Let's see about keeping this train choochin' along, eh buddy? Eh?
Anyways, that's all you'll get outta me for tonight. See you all later. I'll expect tributes of the finest quality maple syrup by the time I get back.
All this in just one wine fueled night? That's a new personal best. Got a real good feeling about this one, fellas. Let's see about keeping this train choochin' along, eh buddy? Eh?
Anyways, that's all you'll get outta me for tonight. See you all later. I'll expect tributes of the finest quality maple syrup by the time I get back.
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Here's your daily dose of bumpage, featuring new weird boner fuel from Badumsquish.
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It's getting to be that day, so here's a Christmas themed bump.
Mlpol is a beautiful and moral place full of good people.
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Bamp
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A bit late on my bump, but here it is.
>>192946
>"So what's your name, huh?"
>Don't answer her.
>"Aww, c'mon! You can tell me!"
>Fucking hippogriffs.
>Should've stayed as fish people in the fucking ocean.
"Anon."
>"Anon? Heehee, that's a funny name!"
>She'll look even funnier laughing with a broken beak.
>Piece of shit bird horse thing.
>"So, what brings you to Canterlot, Anon?"
>Jesus Christ why do they ask questions they already know the fucking answer to holy shit will somebody please end your life.
>"Ahh, I get it, you're shy!"
>Maybe if you glare at her hard enough, she'll get the message.
>"Heeheehee, that's okay! My dad's pretty shy too!"
>Why did you even bother raising your expectations for her?
>You know, faced with situations like this, you really come to appreciate the fact that the Storm King did nothing wrong.
>Just as she opens her beak back up to assault your intelligence, an explosion of confetti in the back captures everyone's attention.
>"Woooooooohoooo!" an aggressively pink, impossibly energetic pony bellows from behind an honest to God cannon, "Who's ready to par-tay?!"
>Definitely not you.
>But hey, this random bullshit got the fucking hippogriff to leave you alone, so there's that.
>Whatever, they can do whatever the merry fuck they please.
>You'll just be over here at the table, far the fuck away from that cesspool of degeneracy.
>Eeeeexcept for a fucking pony hanging around here.
>Wait a second, that's that same girl pony from before, isn't it?
>Okay, so you weren't seeing things before, she's definitely an alicorn.
>Great, just fantastic.
>Don't know why the fuck she's wearing clothes either, but you stopped caring the moment you figured out she was a prissy fucking princess.
>Just ignore her and take some punch.
>So here you stand, sipping on this sugary liquid garbage while hoping and praying that you'll be left alone.
>Huh.
>That pony's actually leaving you alone?
>Glancing over briefly, you see her looking over at you with a foul look on her face, but she turns away as soon as you look over.
>Wow holy shit, you're not being pestered for once?
>Maybe this won't be so bad--
>"Heya there, Nonny!"
>Oh fuck you Murphy.
>Fuck you with a chainaxe.
>"And hello to you too, Flurry!"
>"Go away."
>"Heehehehe, don't be such a grumpy-pants, Flurry! C'mon, you're missing the fun!"
>"What a shame," the princess deadpans.
>Yes, pester the fucking princess, not you.
>"What about you, Nonny? How come you're not partying?!"
>And fuck you too, Sod.
"I have a crippling allergy to parties."
>"Pfffft, don't be such a hermit, Nonny!"
"Don't call me that ever again."
>"C'mon Nonny, try it! Try it and you may!"
"I'd rather try bleach, thanks."
>"Oh a bleach joke, so original," the princess mutters.
>"Heehee, bleach doesn't go onto colours, silly!"
"What?"
>"I mean, who'd want to ruin that fancy suit of yours?"
>That kind of insult to your intelligence very nearly caused you to physically cringe and you want no further part of this please fuck right off posthaste you stupid fucking horse.
"I'm not joining the party."
>"Gee, that's not very nice. What would your parents think?"
"You assume I give a damn," you fire back, arms folded. "That's cute."
>That princess just snorted, while the pink horse began to look quite offended.
>Okay, you're doing good.
>Just a little more passive aggression and she'll--
>"Aaaaaaaawww, come on Anon!"
>Oh Jesus Christ no not the fucking hippogriff again please piss off--
>"Nope," the princess blurts out, wrapping the hippogriff in magic. "Nope. Piss right off, Seastar."
>"B-but Flurry, I--"
>"Am not welcome anywhere in a five foot radius of me."
>"But he--"
>"OUT."
>And off she flies back into the now staring crowd.
>"Flurry!" the pink pony gasps. "That was--"
>"Completely necessary, and don't you dare tell me otherwise."
>Yeah, fuck this.
>Back to the punch.
>"Oooh, you're in big trouble, missy!" the pink one says, finally beginning to sound angry. "Wait until your aunt hears about this!"
>"Ooh, I'm so scared. She might tell my parents or something! I'm shaking!"
>Your turn to snort.
>"Flurry--!"
>"Uh-uh, no. This trip has been bad enough! First my phone, then Seastar, then this stupid monkey!"
>Nani?
>"I don't need you adding to--"
>"So what's your name, huh?"
>Don't answer her.
>"Aww, c'mon! You can tell me!"
>Fucking hippogriffs.
>Should've stayed as fish people in the fucking ocean.
"Anon."
>"Anon? Heehee, that's a funny name!"
>She'll look even funnier laughing with a broken beak.
>Piece of shit bird horse thing.
>"So, what brings you to Canterlot, Anon?"
>Jesus Christ why do they ask questions they already know the fucking answer to holy shit will somebody please end your life.
>"Ahh, I get it, you're shy!"
>Maybe if you glare at her hard enough, she'll get the message.
>"Heeheehee, that's okay! My dad's pretty shy too!"
>Why did you even bother raising your expectations for her?
>You know, faced with situations like this, you really come to appreciate the fact that the Storm King did nothing wrong.
>Just as she opens her beak back up to assault your intelligence, an explosion of confetti in the back captures everyone's attention.
>"Woooooooohoooo!" an aggressively pink, impossibly energetic pony bellows from behind an honest to God cannon, "Who's ready to par-tay?!"
>Definitely not you.
>But hey, this random bullshit got the fucking hippogriff to leave you alone, so there's that.
>Whatever, they can do whatever the merry fuck they please.
>You'll just be over here at the table, far the fuck away from that cesspool of degeneracy.
>Eeeeexcept for a fucking pony hanging around here.
>Wait a second, that's that same girl pony from before, isn't it?
>Okay, so you weren't seeing things before, she's definitely an alicorn.
>Great, just fantastic.
>Don't know why the fuck she's wearing clothes either, but you stopped caring the moment you figured out she was a prissy fucking princess.
>Just ignore her and take some punch.
>So here you stand, sipping on this sugary liquid garbage while hoping and praying that you'll be left alone.
>Huh.
>That pony's actually leaving you alone?
>Glancing over briefly, you see her looking over at you with a foul look on her face, but she turns away as soon as you look over.
>Wow holy shit, you're not being pestered for once?
>Maybe this won't be so bad--
>"Heya there, Nonny!"
>Oh fuck you Murphy.
>Fuck you with a chainaxe.
>"And hello to you too, Flurry!"
>"Go away."
>"Heehehehe, don't be such a grumpy-pants, Flurry! C'mon, you're missing the fun!"
>"What a shame," the princess deadpans.
>Yes, pester the fucking princess, not you.
>"What about you, Nonny? How come you're not partying?!"
>And fuck you too, Sod.
"I have a crippling allergy to parties."
>"Pfffft, don't be such a hermit, Nonny!"
"Don't call me that ever again."
>"C'mon Nonny, try it! Try it and you may!"
"I'd rather try bleach, thanks."
>"Oh a bleach joke, so original," the princess mutters.
>"Heehee, bleach doesn't go onto colours, silly!"
"What?"
>"I mean, who'd want to ruin that fancy suit of yours?"
>That kind of insult to your intelligence very nearly caused you to physically cringe and you want no further part of this please fuck right off posthaste you stupid fucking horse.
"I'm not joining the party."
>"Gee, that's not very nice. What would your parents think?"
"You assume I give a damn," you fire back, arms folded. "That's cute."
>That princess just snorted, while the pink horse began to look quite offended.
>Okay, you're doing good.
>Just a little more passive aggression and she'll--
>"Aaaaaaaawww, come on Anon!"
>Oh Jesus Christ no not the fucking hippogriff again please piss off--
>"Nope," the princess blurts out, wrapping the hippogriff in magic. "Nope. Piss right off, Seastar."
>"B-but Flurry, I--"
>"Am not welcome anywhere in a five foot radius of me."
>"But he--"
>"OUT."
>And off she flies back into the now staring crowd.
>"Flurry!" the pink pony gasps. "That was--"
>"Completely necessary, and don't you dare tell me otherwise."
>Yeah, fuck this.
>Back to the punch.
>"Oooh, you're in big trouble, missy!" the pink one says, finally beginning to sound angry. "Wait until your aunt hears about this!"
>"Ooh, I'm so scared. She might tell my parents or something! I'm shaking!"
>Your turn to snort.
>"Flurry--!"
>"Uh-uh, no. This trip has been bad enough! First my phone, then Seastar, then this stupid monkey!"
>Nani?
>"I don't need you adding to--"
>>194043
"I'm sorry," you interject, facing the stuck-up princess. "What did you just say?"
>For the briefest of moments, she looked surprised.
>Key word being briefest.
>"I said, that things are bad enough without the stupid monkey hanging around."
>Man, what a punchable face she has.
>"You, genius."
"Wow."
>Wiping that smirk off will be naught but joy.
"I mean, wow! 'Monkey'. Damn, you come up with that all by yourself?"
>Look, it's working!
>"That's right. Made it nice and simple for your dumb ass to comprehend!"
"Wooow, you're right! You're the smartest pony I've ever met! Shame the same can't be said about your looks."
>"The hell did you just say to me?"
"I mean, I don't see why else you'd be dressed up like that. What, you late for the Seamare Luna audition or something?"
>She gets mighty protective of her skirt and shirt all of a sudden.
>"Hey! This stuff--"
"Looks like something out of the Hot Content dumpster? Wow, chalk one up for your smarts, princess!"
>"You know what," she fumes, "I don't have to take that from a braindead weeaboo like you!"
"The fuck's that supposed to mean?"
>"Oh, 'Seamare Luna'? I'm sure that's not all you've seen. Cardcapture Sakurai? Pink Princess? Tomadachi Wa Mahou?"
"Hey, those shows are--"
>"Exactly what a flaming queer like you would watch? Wow, who'd have thought the monkey could get smarter?"
>Oh she's fucking done for.
"Okay princess," you fume, setting your punch glass down with a mighty thunk, "You wanna fucking go?"
>Not one of you cares about the pink horse's gasp.
>"Sorry, dipshit. I don't like to fight the handicapped."
"Ooh, imagine that! The pwetty pony pwincess doesn't whanna fwight!"
>"Like I'd even need to try! Those arms are floppier than the dicks you suck at your Chineighse cartoon conventions!"
"Yeah, you'd know all about sucking dicks, wouldn't you? Did your sugar daddy there tell you to dress up like a total whore too?"
>"Oh imagine that, the disgusting weeb is into inbreeding! Wow, maybe that's why you came out so fucking stupid!"
"Another weeb joke? Damn, girl! You're just dazzling me with your intelligence here! Want me to get you a fedora while we're in the city? My treat!"
>"Wow, a fedora joke right after a bleach joke! Aren't you just the most original limp dick around?!"
"I'm unoriginal? You're a fucking pony, Rick! You've got the magic tramp stamps that literally pigeonhole you into doing only one thing!"
>"At least we don't need pussy fucking weapons and machines to do basic fucking things! Oh wait, that's humans! Yeah, real fucking tough taking out minotaurs with anything but your spindly bitch noodle arms!"
"Ooh, the noodle arms again? And you call me unoriginal? Say, how come you're hiding away your tramp stamp behind the cosplay getup, bitch?"
>"Yeah, you're super into cosplay, I bet! Bet it gets your boyfriends real hard when you're bent over in the schoolgirl outfit! Aah! Y-Yamete! B-Bubba-senpaaaai!"
"Wow, you know a lot about Bubba, don't you? You take turns with him and Chad? Bet that's why you're hiding the tramp stamp, 'cause mommy and daddy are too embarrassed to have the princess of sucking dicks as their kid!"
>"Aww, you jealous? You want in on the action, don't you? I'm sure I can get you to sit in the corner and watch, you whiny little cuck!"
"What do you need me around for? I'm sure you get plenty of hits on your fucking Tweak stream! 'OMG, thanks for the points, guise!' Bet you've got a fucking Neightreon, too!"
>"The only thing Tweak deserves is to be nuked from fucking orbit, just like you and your shrimp dick race of horse fuckers! Yeah, that why you're so obsessed with my cutie mark? You want me that bad? Sorry, but I don't give pity fucks to unwashed shit lickers like you!"
"I wouldn't touch you with a thirty nine and a half foot length of rebar, you fucking skank!"
>"Good, I'd rather be knocking your lights out instead, you piss gargling fucknut!"
"Wow, such complex words! You get those lines from your daily Leddit binges, you cum slurping queen of the damned?!"
>"Oh, that's it, you're fucking dead!"
"Noo, not the rainbows and sprinkles! Anything but that!"
>"Ooooookay," the pink one interrupts, "Why don't we just calm down--"
"Nobody asked you, bitch!"
>"Nobody asked you, bitch!"
>Yeah, she better take off!
>"You're not leaving this room until you're kissing my hooves, shit for brains!"
>She jabbed you in the stomach with her hoof.
"Ooh, nice horseshoes there! Backup for when the other cheats you have don't work, dickhead?"
>You punctuate 'dickhead' with a jab to her horn.
>"Get your fucking dick beaters off me, you damn dirty ape!"
>She jabs you harder.
"See? Perfect match-up, you squirrely fucking thot!"
>You jab the horn harder.
>She grabs hold of your jacket to try and pull you down, and your hand grabs hold of her horn to try and pull her up.
>It's hard to tell who let loose the piercing REEEEEEEEEEEEE in the exchange, but the only thing you know for real is that there will be fucking blood.
...
"I'm sorry," you interject, facing the stuck-up princess. "What did you just say?"
>For the briefest of moments, she looked surprised.
>Key word being briefest.
>"I said, that things are bad enough without the stupid monkey hanging around."
>Man, what a punchable face she has.
>"You, genius."
"Wow."
>Wiping that smirk off will be naught but joy.
"I mean, wow! 'Monkey'. Damn, you come up with that all by yourself?"
>Look, it's working!
>"That's right. Made it nice and simple for your dumb ass to comprehend!"
"Wooow, you're right! You're the smartest pony I've ever met! Shame the same can't be said about your looks."
>"The hell did you just say to me?"
"I mean, I don't see why else you'd be dressed up like that. What, you late for the Seamare Luna audition or something?"
>She gets mighty protective of her skirt and shirt all of a sudden.
>"Hey! This stuff--"
"Looks like something out of the Hot Content dumpster? Wow, chalk one up for your smarts, princess!"
>"You know what," she fumes, "I don't have to take that from a braindead weeaboo like you!"
"The fuck's that supposed to mean?"
>"Oh, 'Seamare Luna'? I'm sure that's not all you've seen. Cardcapture Sakurai? Pink Princess? Tomadachi Wa Mahou?"
"Hey, those shows are--"
>"Exactly what a flaming queer like you would watch? Wow, who'd have thought the monkey could get smarter?"
>Oh she's fucking done for.
"Okay princess," you fume, setting your punch glass down with a mighty thunk, "You wanna fucking go?"
>Not one of you cares about the pink horse's gasp.
>"Sorry, dipshit. I don't like to fight the handicapped."
"Ooh, imagine that! The pwetty pony pwincess doesn't whanna fwight!"
>"Like I'd even need to try! Those arms are floppier than the dicks you suck at your Chineighse cartoon conventions!"
"Yeah, you'd know all about sucking dicks, wouldn't you? Did your sugar daddy there tell you to dress up like a total whore too?"
>"Oh imagine that, the disgusting weeb is into inbreeding! Wow, maybe that's why you came out so fucking stupid!"
"Another weeb joke? Damn, girl! You're just dazzling me with your intelligence here! Want me to get you a fedora while we're in the city? My treat!"
>"Wow, a fedora joke right after a bleach joke! Aren't you just the most original limp dick around?!"
"I'm unoriginal? You're a fucking pony, Rick! You've got the magic tramp stamps that literally pigeonhole you into doing only one thing!"
>"At least we don't need pussy fucking weapons and machines to do basic fucking things! Oh wait, that's humans! Yeah, real fucking tough taking out minotaurs with anything but your spindly bitch noodle arms!"
"Ooh, the noodle arms again? And you call me unoriginal? Say, how come you're hiding away your tramp stamp behind the cosplay getup, bitch?"
>"Yeah, you're super into cosplay, I bet! Bet it gets your boyfriends real hard when you're bent over in the schoolgirl outfit! Aah! Y-Yamete! B-Bubba-senpaaaai!"
"Wow, you know a lot about Bubba, don't you? You take turns with him and Chad? Bet that's why you're hiding the tramp stamp, 'cause mommy and daddy are too embarrassed to have the princess of sucking dicks as their kid!"
>"Aww, you jealous? You want in on the action, don't you? I'm sure I can get you to sit in the corner and watch, you whiny little cuck!"
"What do you need me around for? I'm sure you get plenty of hits on your fucking Tweak stream! 'OMG, thanks for the points, guise!' Bet you've got a fucking Neightreon, too!"
>"The only thing Tweak deserves is to be nuked from fucking orbit, just like you and your shrimp dick race of horse fuckers! Yeah, that why you're so obsessed with my cutie mark? You want me that bad? Sorry, but I don't give pity fucks to unwashed shit lickers like you!"
"I wouldn't touch you with a thirty nine and a half foot length of rebar, you fucking skank!"
>"Good, I'd rather be knocking your lights out instead, you piss gargling fucknut!"
"Wow, such complex words! You get those lines from your daily Leddit binges, you cum slurping queen of the damned?!"
>"Oh, that's it, you're fucking dead!"
"Noo, not the rainbows and sprinkles! Anything but that!"
>"Ooooookay," the pink one interrupts, "Why don't we just calm down--"
"Nobody asked you, bitch!"
>"Nobody asked you, bitch!"
>Yeah, she better take off!
>"You're not leaving this room until you're kissing my hooves, shit for brains!"
>She jabbed you in the stomach with her hoof.
"Ooh, nice horseshoes there! Backup for when the other cheats you have don't work, dickhead?"
>You punctuate 'dickhead' with a jab to her horn.
>"Get your fucking dick beaters off me, you damn dirty ape!"
>She jabs you harder.
"See? Perfect match-up, you squirrely fucking thot!"
>You jab the horn harder.
>She grabs hold of your jacket to try and pull you down, and your hand grabs hold of her horn to try and pull her up.
>It's hard to tell who let loose the piercing REEEEEEEEEEEEE in the exchange, but the only thing you know for real is that there will be fucking blood.
...
>>194044
>"She sells sea shells by the sea shore~"
>"She sells sea shells by the sea shore~"
>"While the ships in the harbour set sail~!"
>"While the ships in the harbour set sail~!"
>"Eeeeeeeeee! You still remember it!"
>"I'd never forget the creed, Candy!"
>You're not even a minute into your wife's sudden meeting, and already you're the most confused you've been this year.
>While those two hug one another, giggling to each other like schoolfillies, your eyes turn to the strange orange human's wife.
>Who, coincidentally, has turned her eyes to you at the same time.
>And boy, does her look match your own feelings to a T.
"Sooo, uhh... I didn't catch your name."
>"Y-yes, well, my husband didn't make me privy to yours, either."
"Oh, you too, huh?"
>"Mmhmm."
"Well, my name is--"
>"Shiny!" Cadance squeals, trapping you in one of her signature death grip hugs. "This right here is my bestest old friend in the whole widest world!"
>She gestured way more dramatically than necessary towards the smiling, jovial human.
"Uhh... hi?"
>Extending your hoof, he bolts right over and grabs hoooooooold--!
>"Ahahahah! A true pleasure to meet you, mister...?"
"Sh-Shining Armour..." you wheeze out.
>Holy Goddess in Elysium his grip should not be that strong what the buck
>"Then it is an ever truer pleasure to meet you, Mr. Armour! Incognito Augustulus Sr.; Emperor Incognito Augustulus Sr., at your service!"
"Pl-pleased."
>Why is his hoofshake somehow worse oh Goddess your leg is going to fall off please stop
>"But you can just call me Nito! Any friend of Candy's is a friend of mine!"
"O-okay."
>"H-honey, who is--" the woman tries to get in, before being cut off by a huge gasp from Mr. Augustulus.
>"Dear God, I am so sorry, my dear! I'd almost forgotten to introduce you!"
>Mercifully, he lets go of your hoof, flowing over to the side of his wife and throwing an arm around her withers-- uhh, shoulders.
>"My love, this is a very old friend of mine! We go way, way back!"
>Cadance swoops in and grabs the human's hand, and from the look on her face, she's suffering as much as you were under the assault of Mr. Augustulus's hoofshake.
>"It's so, so good to meet you! I'm Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, but everypony just calls me Cadance!"
>"I-Innominate..."
>"Ohh, I know we'll be the best of friends, Mrs. Innominate! Eeeeeeeee!"
>Sweet merciful Goddess, you don't think you've seen Cadance this excited since she first found out she was pregnant.
>"I-I'm sure..."
>And in another instant, the human's hand is released, and Cadance fixes Mr. Augustulus with a glare.
>"Nito, why didn't you tell me you were happily married?!"
>"I could ask the same of you, Candy! My God, I'd have been at the wedding in a heartbeat!"
>"I know! It was such a crazy wedding, too!"
>"Oh, I've heard the stories! Ohh, you'll have to tell me all about it!"
>"Sit down, you! It's story time!"
>"Ahahahah! The best time there is, Candy!"
>The two of them, uhh... hop, skip and jump with their arms locked together, only letting go after the final jump, where they land in their seats with pinpoint accuracy.
>"Shiny, Innominate, come on over!"
>"Agreed! No need to be strangers!"
>This guy couldn't be any stranger if he set out to try.
>After you and Mrs. Augustulus share a look, you walk over to the small coffee table and seat yourselves.
>From there, the two of you witness what must be the liveliest conversation you've ever seen, and you've been at ground zero for most of Twilight's tangents.
>Those two just talked and talked and talked in rapid fire, completely enraptured in one another's stories, only taking breaks to synchronize their drinks of water.
>It was, uh... surreal.
>"And then my sister-in-law used her magic to banish the evil king and restore the Empire, and we lived happily ever after!"
>"What a story, Candy! And to think, I'd convened with such a brave soul in the past! God above, I had no idea she was your sister-in-law!"
>"Heeheehee, she's a wonderful mare, and an even more wonderful aunt!"
>"What? Aunt?!"
>"That's right, Nito!"
>After gaping in disbelief for a moment, Mr. Augustulus picked up Cadance and looked over her belly like a gemstone, all while Cadance remained perfectly still, sporting a look of pure pride.
>"You did not give birth, Candy!"
>"Been there, did that."
>"On what planet?! My God, there's not a mark on you!"
>"Alicorn life is the best life."
>"And your figure! Augh, it's so hard to describe how envious I am right now!"
>"Gaze upon me and despair, Nito. Gaze and despair."
"Put her down, sir."
>"Incognito, set her down now."
>At least Mrs. Augustulus had the same idea!
>You really don't like how... touchy those two are.
>"Ohh Shiny, you big jealous lunk! You know you're always the one for me!"
>"My love, nobody could ever replace you in my life, you know that!"
>Why'd they have to be so smooth with their responses...?
>"She sells sea shells by the sea shore~"
>"She sells sea shells by the sea shore~"
>"While the ships in the harbour set sail~!"
>"While the ships in the harbour set sail~!"
>"Eeeeeeeeee! You still remember it!"
>"I'd never forget the creed, Candy!"
>You're not even a minute into your wife's sudden meeting, and already you're the most confused you've been this year.
>While those two hug one another, giggling to each other like schoolfillies, your eyes turn to the strange orange human's wife.
>Who, coincidentally, has turned her eyes to you at the same time.
>And boy, does her look match your own feelings to a T.
"Sooo, uhh... I didn't catch your name."
>"Y-yes, well, my husband didn't make me privy to yours, either."
"Oh, you too, huh?"
>"Mmhmm."
"Well, my name is--"
>"Shiny!" Cadance squeals, trapping you in one of her signature death grip hugs. "This right here is my bestest old friend in the whole widest world!"
>She gestured way more dramatically than necessary towards the smiling, jovial human.
"Uhh... hi?"
>Extending your hoof, he bolts right over and grabs hoooooooold--!
>"Ahahahah! A true pleasure to meet you, mister...?"
"Sh-Shining Armour..." you wheeze out.
>Holy Goddess in Elysium his grip should not be that strong what the buck
>"Then it is an ever truer pleasure to meet you, Mr. Armour! Incognito Augustulus Sr.; Emperor Incognito Augustulus Sr., at your service!"
"Pl-pleased."
>Why is his hoofshake somehow worse oh Goddess your leg is going to fall off please stop
>"But you can just call me Nito! Any friend of Candy's is a friend of mine!"
"O-okay."
>"H-honey, who is--" the woman tries to get in, before being cut off by a huge gasp from Mr. Augustulus.
>"Dear God, I am so sorry, my dear! I'd almost forgotten to introduce you!"
>Mercifully, he lets go of your hoof, flowing over to the side of his wife and throwing an arm around her withers-- uhh, shoulders.
>"My love, this is a very old friend of mine! We go way, way back!"
>Cadance swoops in and grabs the human's hand, and from the look on her face, she's suffering as much as you were under the assault of Mr. Augustulus's hoofshake.
>"It's so, so good to meet you! I'm Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, but everypony just calls me Cadance!"
>"I-Innominate..."
>"Ohh, I know we'll be the best of friends, Mrs. Innominate! Eeeeeeeee!"
>Sweet merciful Goddess, you don't think you've seen Cadance this excited since she first found out she was pregnant.
>"I-I'm sure..."
>And in another instant, the human's hand is released, and Cadance fixes Mr. Augustulus with a glare.
>"Nito, why didn't you tell me you were happily married?!"
>"I could ask the same of you, Candy! My God, I'd have been at the wedding in a heartbeat!"
>"I know! It was such a crazy wedding, too!"
>"Oh, I've heard the stories! Ohh, you'll have to tell me all about it!"
>"Sit down, you! It's story time!"
>"Ahahahah! The best time there is, Candy!"
>The two of them, uhh... hop, skip and jump with their arms locked together, only letting go after the final jump, where they land in their seats with pinpoint accuracy.
>"Shiny, Innominate, come on over!"
>"Agreed! No need to be strangers!"
>This guy couldn't be any stranger if he set out to try.
>After you and Mrs. Augustulus share a look, you walk over to the small coffee table and seat yourselves.
>From there, the two of you witness what must be the liveliest conversation you've ever seen, and you've been at ground zero for most of Twilight's tangents.
>Those two just talked and talked and talked in rapid fire, completely enraptured in one another's stories, only taking breaks to synchronize their drinks of water.
>It was, uh... surreal.
>"And then my sister-in-law used her magic to banish the evil king and restore the Empire, and we lived happily ever after!"
>"What a story, Candy! And to think, I'd convened with such a brave soul in the past! God above, I had no idea she was your sister-in-law!"
>"Heeheehee, she's a wonderful mare, and an even more wonderful aunt!"
>"What? Aunt?!"
>"That's right, Nito!"
>After gaping in disbelief for a moment, Mr. Augustulus picked up Cadance and looked over her belly like a gemstone, all while Cadance remained perfectly still, sporting a look of pure pride.
>"You did not give birth, Candy!"
>"Been there, did that."
>"On what planet?! My God, there's not a mark on you!"
>"Alicorn life is the best life."
>"And your figure! Augh, it's so hard to describe how envious I am right now!"
>"Gaze upon me and despair, Nito. Gaze and despair."
"Put her down, sir."
>"Incognito, set her down now."
>At least Mrs. Augustulus had the same idea!
>You really don't like how... touchy those two are.
>"Ohh Shiny, you big jealous lunk! You know you're always the one for me!"
>"My love, nobody could ever replace you in my life, you know that!"
>Why'd they have to be so smooth with their responses...?
>>194045
>"Besides, what kind of an example would I be setting for our son, just gallivanting off with the first woman I set my eyes on? Downright repulsive, that would be!"
>"Whaaaaaaaat?! Y-you have a...?!"
>"We have a son, Candy. And yes, yes we do!"
>Instantly, Cadance bolts over to Mrs. Augustulus, crushing her in one of her hugs.
>"EeeeeeeeeeeeohmygoshI'msohappyforyoutwoeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
"Please let her go, honey."
>She complies without another word, backflipping into her seat while Mrs. Augustulus takes several deep breaths.
>"Nito," Cadance says, a devilish glint in her eyes. "Pictures."
>"Candy," he replies, the same glint in his eyes. "You needn't ask."
>From deep within her mane and deep within his jacket, they pull free a modest stack of photos.
"Honey, why do you keep those in your mane?"
>"A-and why did you bring those with you today, honey?" Mrs. Augustulus concurs.
>"Shiny! Really, now! It's our sacred creed!"
>"Never, ever leave home without the baby pictures!"
"Okay."
>"I-if you say so."
>Synchronized sighs escape both you and Mrs. Augustulus, and with no time wasted, the two begin to fawn over their stacks of photographs like a pair of teenage mares.
>They go through emotions at a breakneck pace: fawning one moment, lamenting in another, laughing in another, and bawling like foals in others.
>"Th-they grow up so fast, Nito!" Cadance bawls into his chest. "I'm not ready! I'm not reeeeeahdyyy!"
>"Me neither, Candy!" he quietly weeps into her mane. "We laughed at our parents for this notion! Laughed, we did! And this is our penance!"
"He's always like this, isn't he?"
>"Yes he is," Mrs. Augustulus replies just as monotonously as you. "And she...?"
"Mmhmm."
>"Do you ever wonder sometimes why we married them?"
"Never more than today."
>"Ah, so that wasn't just me."
>"So!" Cadance replies, flipping from sobbing to chipper on a dime, "How old is your little Anonymous?"
>"Ahh, the tender age of eighteen!" he replies, flipping just as quickly.
>"Ohh, that's so funny! Our little Flurry is, too!"
>"Oh, she's beautiful, Candy!" he booms, small rivulets of tears streaming down his face without any warning. "Takes right after her beautiful mother, that one!"
>"And yours! Ohh, he's got your chin! And your build!"
"Cadance," you intone.
>"Incognito," she intones.
>"My word, you two are such worrywarts!" Mr. Augustulus huffs, his tears vanishing into thin air. "Do you really think so little of us?"
>"Yeah, Shiny! After everything we've been through!"
>Just...
>Don't answer them.
>"Ohh, but I'll tell you, raising him and keeping an empire together is no easy feet, my girl! Why, I haven't had the time to practice even a tiny smidgen of our old craft!"
>"Me too! Augh, ruling sucks!"
>"Alas, we are the best suited to the task."
>"Don't care, still sucks!"
>Aaaaand now they're pouting.
>Really not much you can say, now is there?
>"Candy!" he booms out of the blue. "Did you bring her with you today?"
>"Of course! She's got to learn how the game is played, somehow!"
>"Ahh, but she's been resisting, hasn't she?"
>"You too, huh?"
>"Quite! Why, I swear they're more interested in their fancy magitech toys than they are with reality around them!"
>"Right?! In fact, we had to take our Flurry's 'phone' away from her today, didn't we Shiny?"
"Yes, dear."
>"What a coincidence, I had to do much the same thing! And to think, he became indignant about it, too!"
>"Same here! Ohh, she needs real social contact, not that silly magitech substitute!"
>"Precisely my point, Candy! We brought our dear Anonymous too, didn't we darling?"
>"Yes, dear," Mrs. Augustulus replies.
>"So my thinking here was that we have those two--"
>"Socialize?! Ohmygosh, YES! Nito, you've always got the best ideas!"
>"I know! Elementary, really! Why, it may even clear up some of his foul mood!"
>"Goodness knows she could use it," Cadance grumbles.
>"Cheer up, Candy! I've a good feeling about this!"
>"Yeah, you're right! I know ponies better than anypony, and those two might as well be the best of friends already!"
>"Ahahahah! Positive as always, Candy! Why, I'm sure that positivity has already suffused their bond as we speak!"
>The door to this room is knocked on repeatedly.
>"Pr-princess Cadance, E-emperor Incognito!" a guard's voice calls from behind the door. "Your presences are required at once!"
>Those two just jinxed everything, didn't they?
>They just grin to each other for a split second before bolting upright, jogging towards the door.
>"C'mon, Shiny! Let's see what's happening!"
>"Up and at 'em, my love! Politics waits for no man!"
>Both you and Mrs. Augustulus share a groan before tailing after your respective spouses, who have since been following a very agitated looking pony guard.
>Yelling can be heard in the distance, and you swear that one of the voices sounds...
>"You won't live to regret this, you fucking ape!"
>F-Flurry?!
>"I'll slap yer shit in, I sware on me mum!"
>Who's voice is that?
>Rounding one last corner, you see a group of guards on both sides of the hallway, keeping a green-skinned young human away from--
>Flurry!
>"Flurry!" Cadance chirps.
>"My boy!" Mr. Augustulus booms.
>Both children look to their respective parents, their scuffed, bruised faces morphing to shock and then terror in short order.
>"Aww, shit," Flurry groans.
>"Fuck my life," the human groans.
...
>"Besides, what kind of an example would I be setting for our son, just gallivanting off with the first woman I set my eyes on? Downright repulsive, that would be!"
>"Whaaaaaaaat?! Y-you have a...?!"
>"We have a son, Candy. And yes, yes we do!"
>Instantly, Cadance bolts over to Mrs. Augustulus, crushing her in one of her hugs.
>"EeeeeeeeeeeeohmygoshI'msohappyforyoutwoeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
"Please let her go, honey."
>She complies without another word, backflipping into her seat while Mrs. Augustulus takes several deep breaths.
>"Nito," Cadance says, a devilish glint in her eyes. "Pictures."
>"Candy," he replies, the same glint in his eyes. "You needn't ask."
>From deep within her mane and deep within his jacket, they pull free a modest stack of photos.
"Honey, why do you keep those in your mane?"
>"A-and why did you bring those with you today, honey?" Mrs. Augustulus concurs.
>"Shiny! Really, now! It's our sacred creed!"
>"Never, ever leave home without the baby pictures!"
"Okay."
>"I-if you say so."
>Synchronized sighs escape both you and Mrs. Augustulus, and with no time wasted, the two begin to fawn over their stacks of photographs like a pair of teenage mares.
>They go through emotions at a breakneck pace: fawning one moment, lamenting in another, laughing in another, and bawling like foals in others.
>"Th-they grow up so fast, Nito!" Cadance bawls into his chest. "I'm not ready! I'm not reeeeeahdyyy!"
>"Me neither, Candy!" he quietly weeps into her mane. "We laughed at our parents for this notion! Laughed, we did! And this is our penance!"
"He's always like this, isn't he?"
>"Yes he is," Mrs. Augustulus replies just as monotonously as you. "And she...?"
"Mmhmm."
>"Do you ever wonder sometimes why we married them?"
"Never more than today."
>"Ah, so that wasn't just me."
>"So!" Cadance replies, flipping from sobbing to chipper on a dime, "How old is your little Anonymous?"
>"Ahh, the tender age of eighteen!" he replies, flipping just as quickly.
>"Ohh, that's so funny! Our little Flurry is, too!"
>"Oh, she's beautiful, Candy!" he booms, small rivulets of tears streaming down his face without any warning. "Takes right after her beautiful mother, that one!"
>"And yours! Ohh, he's got your chin! And your build!"
"Cadance," you intone.
>"Incognito," she intones.
>"My word, you two are such worrywarts!" Mr. Augustulus huffs, his tears vanishing into thin air. "Do you really think so little of us?"
>"Yeah, Shiny! After everything we've been through!"
>Just...
>Don't answer them.
>"Ohh, but I'll tell you, raising him and keeping an empire together is no easy feet, my girl! Why, I haven't had the time to practice even a tiny smidgen of our old craft!"
>"Me too! Augh, ruling sucks!"
>"Alas, we are the best suited to the task."
>"Don't care, still sucks!"
>Aaaaand now they're pouting.
>Really not much you can say, now is there?
>"Candy!" he booms out of the blue. "Did you bring her with you today?"
>"Of course! She's got to learn how the game is played, somehow!"
>"Ahh, but she's been resisting, hasn't she?"
>"You too, huh?"
>"Quite! Why, I swear they're more interested in their fancy magitech toys than they are with reality around them!"
>"Right?! In fact, we had to take our Flurry's 'phone' away from her today, didn't we Shiny?"
"Yes, dear."
>"What a coincidence, I had to do much the same thing! And to think, he became indignant about it, too!"
>"Same here! Ohh, she needs real social contact, not that silly magitech substitute!"
>"Precisely my point, Candy! We brought our dear Anonymous too, didn't we darling?"
>"Yes, dear," Mrs. Augustulus replies.
>"So my thinking here was that we have those two--"
>"Socialize?! Ohmygosh, YES! Nito, you've always got the best ideas!"
>"I know! Elementary, really! Why, it may even clear up some of his foul mood!"
>"Goodness knows she could use it," Cadance grumbles.
>"Cheer up, Candy! I've a good feeling about this!"
>"Yeah, you're right! I know ponies better than anypony, and those two might as well be the best of friends already!"
>"Ahahahah! Positive as always, Candy! Why, I'm sure that positivity has already suffused their bond as we speak!"
>The door to this room is knocked on repeatedly.
>"Pr-princess Cadance, E-emperor Incognito!" a guard's voice calls from behind the door. "Your presences are required at once!"
>Those two just jinxed everything, didn't they?
>They just grin to each other for a split second before bolting upright, jogging towards the door.
>"C'mon, Shiny! Let's see what's happening!"
>"Up and at 'em, my love! Politics waits for no man!"
>Both you and Mrs. Augustulus share a groan before tailing after your respective spouses, who have since been following a very agitated looking pony guard.
>Yelling can be heard in the distance, and you swear that one of the voices sounds...
>"You won't live to regret this, you fucking ape!"
>F-Flurry?!
>"I'll slap yer shit in, I sware on me mum!"
>Who's voice is that?
>Rounding one last corner, you see a group of guards on both sides of the hallway, keeping a green-skinned young human away from--
>Flurry!
>"Flurry!" Cadance chirps.
>"My boy!" Mr. Augustulus booms.
>Both children look to their respective parents, their scuffed, bruised faces morphing to shock and then terror in short order.
>"Aww, shit," Flurry groans.
>"Fuck my life," the human groans.
...
>>194046
Golly gee willikers, leafy! How come your smut gets to have so much setup?
'Cause I said so, that's why.
This update is brought to you by the god-awful Derpi porn catalogue of aged-up Flurry Heart! Seriously, whatever isn't fucking anthro or SFM is hyperpregnancy instead, for reasons that confound me. Otherwise, I'd be dropping images every update like normal! Absolute cancer.
I need chemotherapy for this cancer. Quick, you know what to do, readership!
Golly gee willikers, leafy! How come your smut gets to have so much setup?
'Cause I said so, that's why.
This update is brought to you by the god-awful Derpi porn catalogue of aged-up Flurry Heart! Seriously, whatever isn't fucking anthro or SFM is hyperpregnancy instead, for reasons that confound me. Otherwise, I'd be dropping images every update like normal! Absolute cancer.
I need chemotherapy for this cancer. Quick, you know what to do, readership!
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>>194064
Tedium that I bear happily, given the results. Though when you miss a slash at the end of a segment, it really hits a nigga where it hurts.
Exemplar! Correct version:
>(p)"Nito,"(/p) Cadance says, a devilish glint in her eyes. (p)"Pictures."(/p)
Version that was actually posted:
>(p)"Nito,"(p) Cadance says, a devilish glint in her eyes. (p)"Pictures."(/p)
And now all the following uncoloured text is pink, thanks to that one tiny slip of the editing!
>See
>What
>Eye
Mean?!
And even if there were mod edits for that kind of shit, who wants to ask mods for editing work you should've done? Besides, this ain'tReddit Ponychan, I don't want any of that gay edit-your-own-posts shit!
Maybe I should actually start using /Test/ to test the formatting before posting for realsies...
Wait, why am I whining so much? This ain't therapy! There's porn to be posted!
Tedium that I bear happily, given the results. Though when you miss a slash at the end of a segment, it really hits a nigga where it hurts.
Exemplar! Correct version:
>(p)"Nito,"(/p) Cadance says, a devilish glint in her eyes. (p)"Pictures."(/p)
Version that was actually posted:
>(p)"Nito,"(p) Cadance says, a devilish glint in her eyes. (p)"Pictures."(/p)
And now all the following uncoloured text is pink, thanks to that one tiny slip of the editing!
>See
>What
>Eye
Mean?!
And even if there were mod edits for that kind of shit, who wants to ask mods for editing work you should've done? Besides, this ain't
Maybe I should actually start using /Test/ to test the formatting before posting for realsies...
Wait, why am I whining so much? This ain't therapy! There's porn to be posted!
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>>194333 (checked)
Love Lock. As far as I know, she hasn't been around long enough for any fic about her to be made. Though she'd definitely make for prime fic material.
Love Lock. As far as I know, she hasn't been around long enough for any fic about her to be made. Though she'd definitely make for prime fic material.
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>>194343
I want a fanfic where they bully anon for looking different but deep down it’s there own insecurities but then you make up and become friends and have hot nasty sex
I want a fanfic where they bully anon for looking different but deep down it’s there own insecurities but then you make up and become friends and have hot nasty sex
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Have a bump in the night.
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>got moved onto page 2
Let's change that real quick..
Let's change that real quick..
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Gotta pump up those bump numbers, Anon.
>>195032
>exclusive CfaC pics
Thank you, anon, for donating to kids with cancer so we don't have to.
>AtA animation
As with anything he makes, it is hilarious and well done. An oversized johnson does not turn me on though because I'm not a faget like U
>exclusive CfaC pics
Thank you, anon, for donating to kids with cancer so we don't have to.
>AtA animation
As with anything he makes, it is hilarious and well done. An oversized johnson does not turn me on though because I'm not a faget like U
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>>195035
>watching Berry Punch work a meaty rod like it's a bottle of the good stuff doesn't turn you on
What are you, gay?
>watching Berry Punch work a meaty rod like it's a bottle of the good stuff doesn't turn you on
What are you, gay?
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I want to deflower this pretty little mare.
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>>195229
It never would have panned out, anyways, but at least it means that Marble is free for the claiming.
It never would have panned out, anyways, but at least it means that Marble is free for the claiming.
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Bamp, because doing this has become an important part of my daily routine.
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>>194046
>You know what?
>You've been through your fair share of bullshit trips that have had shit go wrong before.
>That one fucking yak princess was the absolute worst.
>Key word being 'was'.
>Because now?
>"What in the world were you thinking, Anonymous?!" your mother almost screams at you.
>This definitely tops the fucking list.
>You didn't even know that ponies could punch that hard.
>Or that that stupid fucking cunt princess could return fire like that.
>Seriously fuck her with a chainsaw you never want to see her again Jesus Christ can you just go home already.
>"Are you even listening to me?!"
"Not really."
>"Do you even realize what it is that you've done?!"
"Defended myself?"
>"Defended yourself?! Against what? What could that poor young lady have possibly done?"
"'Poor young lady', she says."
>"Are you--?!"
"Mom, you weren't there."
>"Did I have to be?! You picked a fight with a close ally's princess! Do you have any idea what--?!"
"First off, those crystal horses aren't allies."
>"For the love of God, do not call them 'horses'!"
"But it's true."
>Good, she's losing her cool.
>The sooner she leaves you alone, the better.
>Right as she opens her mouth again, the door to this little infirmary room is heard creaking open.
>Oh Jesus Christ if it's dad you're going to flip your fucking shit--
>Oh no wait, it's that one effeminate gaylord horse from before.
>Mom gasps upon seeing who it is, and darts over towards him.
>"Mr. Armour! Oh, I am so, so sorry about what--"
>"N-no, I should be apologizing, Mrs. Augustulus."
>Holy fucking shit he has a fucking surfer dude voice why the fuck how the fuck what the fuck man.
>"Actually," he continues, "Could I have a word with you alone, please?"
>"O-of course, whatever you need!"
>And of course mom fixes you that oh-so-frightening 'big trouble' glare of hers, like that's supposed to fucking mean anything.
>"Don't you dare move from that spot, young man."
"Whatever."
>After a moment of grumbling, she leaves the room with that other horse.
>Alone at last, thank fucking God.
>Jeez, this shit stings.
>Fucking pony magic only does so much.
>Fucking cheating hooves, might as well have been bringing clubs.
>At least you got to ruin the dumb cunt's stupid fucking outfit.
>Seriously, just fuck her.
>Not like you had to care either: the Crystal Empire is technically separate from Equestria proper.
>So it's not like you'd socked that one Twilight princess in the jaw.
>See, you think of these things!
>Besides, she was actually kinda nice, unlike that fucking cunt princess.
>Yeah, you'd like to see her act all fucking tough without her trashy fucking outfit.
>Actually, you'd prefer never seeing her again.
>Fuck this trip so hard.
>You don't even care about your fucking phone anymore, you just wanna go home already.
>The doorknob turns, and the clenching commences.
>Clenching that soon lets up when you see it's that fairy fucking white horse from before.
>The hell does this faggot want?
>"Anonymous, was it?"
>Oh Jesus Christ you're not answering him.
>Just fucking listen to his voice!
>"W-well, ah, I suppose I'd best start by apologizing for what my daughter did to you."
>Seriously where did he even get his fucking accent from anyways--
"Wait, what?"
>"I'm not happy that you fought back, but I do understand that she started it all."
>Wait wait wait, he gets it?
>Double fucking wait up, is he actually implying that the cunt princess is his kid?
>"And, well, I'm sorry about that. I hope you can forgive her."
>Oh Jesus Christ, he is her dad, isn't he?
>Snrk.
>Wow, okay, that explains a lot.
>"I-is something funny?"
"Oh, yeah! I mean, geez, now I see how she just flew off the handle like that!"
>Oh boy are you still fucking mad but boyohfuckingboy is this also so fucking funny.
"What, you never hear of spanking before?"
>"I-I'm sorry?"
"Spanking, genius! Maybe that bitch wouldn't fly off the handle so much if you'd done your fucking job right!"
>Whatever soft look he had just evaporated.
"Nonono, wait, lemmie guess! Too buys working on your surfboard, brah? 'Nah, bruh, this parent shit is too wack for me, dude bruh man duuuude'!"
>"Excuse me?"
"Yeah, I fucking figured you were fucking useless the second I saw you bring her in!"
>On comes the musical number:
"I never spanked my kids, and I raised a piece of shit, and I drop my kids off at soccer practice every Tuesday~!"
>This has to be one of the most humourless laughs you've given to date.
"Hey, who knows? Maybe she'll grow up to be the next fucking Ponichet or something! Hell, not hard to see that fucking psycho throwing people off of that giant dick you call a palace--"
>You know what?
>You've been through your fair share of bullshit trips that have had shit go wrong before.
>That one fucking yak princess was the absolute worst.
>Key word being 'was'.
>Because now?
>"What in the world were you thinking, Anonymous?!" your mother almost screams at you.
>This definitely tops the fucking list.
>You didn't even know that ponies could punch that hard.
>Or that that stupid fucking cunt princess could return fire like that.
>Seriously fuck her with a chainsaw you never want to see her again Jesus Christ can you just go home already.
>"Are you even listening to me?!"
"Not really."
>"Do you even realize what it is that you've done?!"
"Defended myself?"
>"Defended yourself?! Against what? What could that poor young lady have possibly done?"
"'Poor young lady', she says."
>"Are you--?!"
"Mom, you weren't there."
>"Did I have to be?! You picked a fight with a close ally's princess! Do you have any idea what--?!"
"First off, those crystal horses aren't allies."
>"For the love of God, do not call them 'horses'!"
"But it's true."
>Good, she's losing her cool.
>The sooner she leaves you alone, the better.
>Right as she opens her mouth again, the door to this little infirmary room is heard creaking open.
>Oh Jesus Christ if it's dad you're going to flip your fucking shit--
>Oh no wait, it's that one effeminate gaylord horse from before.
>Mom gasps upon seeing who it is, and darts over towards him.
>"Mr. Armour! Oh, I am so, so sorry about what--"
>"N-no, I should be apologizing, Mrs. Augustulus."
>Holy fucking shit he has a fucking surfer dude voice why the fuck how the fuck what the fuck man.
>"Actually," he continues, "Could I have a word with you alone, please?"
>"O-of course, whatever you need!"
>And of course mom fixes you that oh-so-frightening 'big trouble' glare of hers, like that's supposed to fucking mean anything.
>"Don't you dare move from that spot, young man."
"Whatever."
>After a moment of grumbling, she leaves the room with that other horse.
>Alone at last, thank fucking God.
>Jeez, this shit stings.
>Fucking pony magic only does so much.
>Fucking cheating hooves, might as well have been bringing clubs.
>At least you got to ruin the dumb cunt's stupid fucking outfit.
>Seriously, just fuck her.
>Not like you had to care either: the Crystal Empire is technically separate from Equestria proper.
>So it's not like you'd socked that one Twilight princess in the jaw.
>See, you think of these things!
>Besides, she was actually kinda nice, unlike that fucking cunt princess.
>Yeah, you'd like to see her act all fucking tough without her trashy fucking outfit.
>Actually, you'd prefer never seeing her again.
>Fuck this trip so hard.
>You don't even care about your fucking phone anymore, you just wanna go home already.
>The doorknob turns, and the clenching commences.
>Clenching that soon lets up when you see it's that fairy fucking white horse from before.
>The hell does this faggot want?
>"Anonymous, was it?"
>Oh Jesus Christ you're not answering him.
>Just fucking listen to his voice!
>"W-well, ah, I suppose I'd best start by apologizing for what my daughter did to you."
>Seriously where did he even get his fucking accent from anyways--
"Wait, what?"
>"I'm not happy that you fought back, but I do understand that she started it all."
>Wait wait wait, he gets it?
>Double fucking wait up, is he actually implying that the cunt princess is his kid?
>"And, well, I'm sorry about that. I hope you can forgive her."
>Oh Jesus Christ, he is her dad, isn't he?
>Snrk.
>Wow, okay, that explains a lot.
>"I-is something funny?"
"Oh, yeah! I mean, geez, now I see how she just flew off the handle like that!"
>Oh boy are you still fucking mad but boyohfuckingboy is this also so fucking funny.
"What, you never hear of spanking before?"
>"I-I'm sorry?"
"Spanking, genius! Maybe that bitch wouldn't fly off the handle so much if you'd done your fucking job right!"
>Whatever soft look he had just evaporated.
"Nonono, wait, lemmie guess! Too buys working on your surfboard, brah? 'Nah, bruh, this parent shit is too wack for me, dude bruh man duuuude'!"
>"Excuse me?"
"Yeah, I fucking figured you were fucking useless the second I saw you bring her in!"
>On comes the musical number:
"I never spanked my kids, and I raised a piece of shit, and I drop my kids off at soccer practice every Tuesday~!"
>This has to be one of the most humourless laughs you've given to date.
"Hey, who knows? Maybe she'll grow up to be the next fucking Ponichet or something! Hell, not hard to see that fucking psycho throwing people off of that giant dick you call a palace--"
>>195336
>Oh wait, he left the room.
>Hahah, you've still got it!
>You know what else you've got?
>Anger, endless fucking anger!
>Seriously fuck this place will somebody please just get you the fuck home already you don't even fucking care anymore!
>Aaaaaaaaaagh this fucking suuuuuuucks!
>The door opens again, only this time--
>"My boy!"
>Oh fuck no not him anyone but fucking dad why has God forsaken you tonight--
>"Ahahahah! Still kicking after that little thrashing, eh?"
"Oh just go away."
>"But how am I supposed to bring you home then?"
>Wait what okay nevermind.
"Oh fucking finally!"
>"Incidentally, you can forget all about that quaint little phone of yours--"
"Don't fucking care! Just get me out of here!"
>And would it kill him to stop with those fucking smirks of his?!
>"Of course, son. Up and at 'em!"
>Was there any reason he emphasized 'son' there?
>Nah, you're just imagining things.
>Through the halls you go.
>Step after step closer to fucking home, thank the lord Jesus Christ.
>Only your sojourn is cut short by the fucking surfer dude horse.
>"Mr. Augustulus!"
>"Please, please! No need to be so formal, Shining! Just Nito will suffice, my friend!"
>"Nevermind that! What in the world is the matter with you?!"
>Oh, now he asks the important questions?
>"Ahahahah! Not enough, my friend!"
>"I-- w-what?"
>"Indeed, the shorter answer may be to ask what's right with me, wouldn't you agree?"
>Never thought you'd empathize with a horse as beta as him, but damn if that eye twitch wasn't a perfect summary of your own feelings right now.
>"Ohh, but do go on, Shining! You were about to say something, weren't you?"
>"You're darned right I was!"
>Oh Jesus he can't even swear holy shit how fucking cucked can you get?
>"I sincerely hope you're going to punish him for what he did today," he half harrumphs, eyes flicking to you.
"Yeah, look who's talking--"
>A brief WHOOSH, a blur of orange ending in a hand right in front of your face, and a mild jump on your part.
>"Ah-ah-ah, it's not nice to interrupt, son."
"Oh whatever."
>"See?!" the dumb fucking horse snorts, "I thought it was my daughter that started it, but now I'm--"
"She did start it, genius!"
>That hand grabs your shooooouldeeeeer--!
>"I don't particularly enjoy repeating myself, son."
>ow ow ow please stop squeezing it hurts losing feeling losing feeling
>"Sorry about that, Shining. I completely understand your concerns, and rest assured, I've arranged for the appropriate disciplinary action."
>"Oh, thank goodness."
>"You should be thanking your wife, Shining!"
>"Wha? C-Cadance?"
>"Why, yes! She's the one who came up with the idea! You know, it never ceases to amaze me how creative Candy can get when it comes to soothing relations!"
>Wait, who the fuck is 'Candy'?
>"Wh-what do you mean?" he stammers, now looking a bit nervous. "What did she--?"
>"A magician never reveals their secrets, my good man! You'll find out soon enough!"
>"But--"
>"Oh, relax!" dad laughs, finally releasing your shoulder to clap his hands for a moment. "I think you'll quite like what we agreed upon!"
>"I-I don't think--"
>"Now come along! I don't want any of you to miss this!"
>You know, you've got a seriously bad feeling about all of this.
>A bad feeling that only gets worse when you hear mom's voice off in the distance:
>"That's unacceptable! Y-you can't just--"
>"Not tell you?" some voice you don't recognize sing-songs back. "A magician never reveals their secrets, Minny~!"
>"Y-you're incorrigible!"
>"I know! Old habits die hard, after all! Teeheehee!"
>Why does this other voice make you super fucking nervous?
>Dad can barely keep the excited grin off of his face as he opens the door in front of him, and is met with--
>Wait, that's the same pink alicorn Dad was with!
>Oh wait, he left the room.
>Hahah, you've still got it!
>You know what else you've got?
>Anger, endless fucking anger!
>Seriously fuck this place will somebody please just get you the fuck home already you don't even fucking care anymore!
>Aaaaaaaaaagh this fucking suuuuuuucks!
>The door opens again, only this time--
>"My boy!"
>Oh fuck no not him anyone but fucking dad why has God forsaken you tonight--
>"Ahahahah! Still kicking after that little thrashing, eh?"
"Oh just go away."
>"But how am I supposed to bring you home then?"
>Wait what okay nevermind.
"Oh fucking finally!"
>"Incidentally, you can forget all about that quaint little phone of yours--"
"Don't fucking care! Just get me out of here!"
>And would it kill him to stop with those fucking smirks of his?!
>"Of course, son. Up and at 'em!"
>Was there any reason he emphasized 'son' there?
>Nah, you're just imagining things.
>Through the halls you go.
>Step after step closer to fucking home, thank the lord Jesus Christ.
>Only your sojourn is cut short by the fucking surfer dude horse.
>"Mr. Augustulus!"
>"Please, please! No need to be so formal, Shining! Just Nito will suffice, my friend!"
>"Nevermind that! What in the world is the matter with you?!"
>Oh, now he asks the important questions?
>"Ahahahah! Not enough, my friend!"
>"I-- w-what?"
>"Indeed, the shorter answer may be to ask what's right with me, wouldn't you agree?"
>Never thought you'd empathize with a horse as beta as him, but damn if that eye twitch wasn't a perfect summary of your own feelings right now.
>"Ohh, but do go on, Shining! You were about to say something, weren't you?"
>"You're darned right I was!"
>Oh Jesus he can't even swear holy shit how fucking cucked can you get?
>"I sincerely hope you're going to punish him for what he did today," he half harrumphs, eyes flicking to you.
"Yeah, look who's talking--"
>A brief WHOOSH, a blur of orange ending in a hand right in front of your face, and a mild jump on your part.
>"Ah-ah-ah, it's not nice to interrupt, son."
"Oh whatever."
>"See?!" the dumb fucking horse snorts, "I thought it was my daughter that started it, but now I'm--"
"She did start it, genius!"
>That hand grabs your shooooouldeeeeer--!
>"I don't particularly enjoy repeating myself, son."
>ow ow ow please stop squeezing it hurts losing feeling losing feeling
>"Sorry about that, Shining. I completely understand your concerns, and rest assured, I've arranged for the appropriate disciplinary action."
>"Oh, thank goodness."
>"You should be thanking your wife, Shining!"
>"Wha? C-Cadance?"
>"Why, yes! She's the one who came up with the idea! You know, it never ceases to amaze me how creative Candy can get when it comes to soothing relations!"
>Wait, who the fuck is 'Candy'?
>"Wh-what do you mean?" he stammers, now looking a bit nervous. "What did she--?"
>"A magician never reveals their secrets, my good man! You'll find out soon enough!"
>"But--"
>"Oh, relax!" dad laughs, finally releasing your shoulder to clap his hands for a moment. "I think you'll quite like what we agreed upon!"
>"I-I don't think--"
>"Now come along! I don't want any of you to miss this!"
>You know, you've got a seriously bad feeling about all of this.
>A bad feeling that only gets worse when you hear mom's voice off in the distance:
>"That's unacceptable! Y-you can't just--"
>"Not tell you?" some voice you don't recognize sing-songs back. "A magician never reveals their secrets, Minny~!"
>"Y-you're incorrigible!"
>"I know! Old habits die hard, after all! Teeheehee!"
>Why does this other voice make you super fucking nervous?
>Dad can barely keep the excited grin off of his face as he opens the door in front of him, and is met with--
>Wait, that's the same pink alicorn Dad was with!
>>195337
>"Ahahahah, Candy! Is everything ready?"
>"You know it, Nito! She'll be here any minute!"
>Mom filters in after the pink horse, followed by--
"You?!"
>"You?!"
>Oh hell no, not that fucking psycho horse!
"Get her out, get her out!"
>"Get that crazy ape away from me!"
>"Incognito!" mom yells across the hall, "What are you playing at?!"
>"Cadance!" the surfer cuck yells across the hall, "What are you playing at?!"
>All dad and the pink horse do is laugh, even as you and that fucking psycho white horse take cover behind the two of them.
"What the fuck are you animals doing, letting her in here?!"
>"Right back at you, asshole! Mom, what the fuck is your problem?!"
>The pink horse wraps the psycho one in a one-legged neck hug, and you feel a hand on your shooooouldeeeeeer--!
>"Now, now," dad starts,
>"There's no need for such language," the pink one finishes.
>jesus christ of latter day saints it hurts please stop doing that
>"Now, we're going to let go of you two," dad starts again,
>"And when we do, you two are going to settle down," the pink horse finishes again.
>okay okay fine just please stop doing that it hurts oh god no more please
>You gingerly caress your poor oppressed shoulder the moment dad's hand comes off of it, and that psycho horse takes a lot of deep breaths after her mom lets her go from that death grip.
>Jesus Christ what is going on here.
>All of a sudden, a big door off to the side flies open in a flash of purple magic, and through it is--
>"Whew, sorry I'm late!"
>Wait a minute, that's that Twilight princess pony!
>"Ahahahah!" dad booms yet again, "You're right on time, princess Twilight!"
>"Yep, just like always!" the pink one concurs, both her and dad smiling widely.
>Dad pats your shoulder and the pink horse pats the psycho's withers, then they both head off to that Twilight pony for--
>Oh good God in heaven, are they seriously doing a group hug right now?!
>Mom is left utterly speechless, same as that gaylord surfer dude.
>It's weird, but in this exact moment, that psycho looks just as confused as you feel.
>"Cadance," Twilight starts, "You didn't tell me you knew the Dominion's Emperor!"
>"Oh, we go way back, Twilight! We just haven't had the time to connect until now!"
>"Yes," dad booms, "And we're so very glad you could make it today!"
>"Well, any friend of Cadance is a friend of mine, Incognito!"
>"Ahahahah! Took the words right out of my mouth, Twilight! Oh, it's good to see you again!"
>What the hell is going on?
>"Now," Twilight says after they all break the group hug, "Let's get this friendship problem straightened right out, shall we?"
"What?"
>"What?" the psycho concurs.
>"What?" mom double concurs.
>"What?" surfer dude triple concurs.
>"Well," dad booms, "We can't very well let this little tussle harm our diplomatic relations, can we?"
>"Yeah, those minotaurs can be real geezers," the pink horse concurs, "And I don't want our children to hate each other!"
>"So, we've come to a little arrangement!"
>"Twilight here is going to sort this little friendship problem out, lickety split!"
>"They'll be her guests down at her lovely Ponyville castle for the next few days!"
>"Becoming the best of friends while we straighten this little incident out!"
>"I've already gotten your bags packed and ready," Twilight concurs, floating a long slip of paper out. "And a whole list of things that'll be sure to help you two become best friends in no time at all!"
>As if processing this wasn't enough, the three of them decide to strike a pose together.
>Sparkles fly from the tips of their limbs as they fall into place, and a small blast of air accompanies their loud, simultaneous proclamation:
>"It's the perfect solution!"
>Utter silence dominates the room, their simultaneous pose standing tall in the midst of what they just said.
>Actually, one thing does come to your mind during all this.
>Just one, singular word.
>What.
>Excuse you?
>What?
>They don't actually...?
>No.
>No way.
>Uh-uh.
>No.
>No, no, no.
>No.
>No!
>This is not fucking cool.
>This isn't even remotely fucking cool!
>Almost as if God himself synchronized all four of you, those not part of the magnificent pose all called out in one voice:
"WHAT?!"
>"Ahahahah, Candy! Is everything ready?"
>"You know it, Nito! She'll be here any minute!"
>Mom filters in after the pink horse, followed by--
"You?!"
>"You?!"
>Oh hell no, not that fucking psycho horse!
"Get her out, get her out!"
>"Get that crazy ape away from me!"
>"Incognito!" mom yells across the hall, "What are you playing at?!"
>"Cadance!" the surfer cuck yells across the hall, "What are you playing at?!"
>All dad and the pink horse do is laugh, even as you and that fucking psycho white horse take cover behind the two of them.
"What the fuck are you animals doing, letting her in here?!"
>"Right back at you, asshole! Mom, what the fuck is your problem?!"
>The pink horse wraps the psycho one in a one-legged neck hug, and you feel a hand on your shooooouldeeeeeer--!
>"Now, now," dad starts,
>"There's no need for such language," the pink one finishes.
>jesus christ of latter day saints it hurts please stop doing that
>"Now, we're going to let go of you two," dad starts again,
>"And when we do, you two are going to settle down," the pink horse finishes again.
>okay okay fine just please stop doing that it hurts oh god no more please
>You gingerly caress your poor oppressed shoulder the moment dad's hand comes off of it, and that psycho horse takes a lot of deep breaths after her mom lets her go from that death grip.
>Jesus Christ what is going on here.
>All of a sudden, a big door off to the side flies open in a flash of purple magic, and through it is--
>"Whew, sorry I'm late!"
>Wait a minute, that's that Twilight princess pony!
>"Ahahahah!" dad booms yet again, "You're right on time, princess Twilight!"
>"Yep, just like always!" the pink one concurs, both her and dad smiling widely.
>Dad pats your shoulder and the pink horse pats the psycho's withers, then they both head off to that Twilight pony for--
>Oh good God in heaven, are they seriously doing a group hug right now?!
>Mom is left utterly speechless, same as that gaylord surfer dude.
>It's weird, but in this exact moment, that psycho looks just as confused as you feel.
>"Cadance," Twilight starts, "You didn't tell me you knew the Dominion's Emperor!"
>"Oh, we go way back, Twilight! We just haven't had the time to connect until now!"
>"Yes," dad booms, "And we're so very glad you could make it today!"
>"Well, any friend of Cadance is a friend of mine, Incognito!"
>"Ahahahah! Took the words right out of my mouth, Twilight! Oh, it's good to see you again!"
>What the hell is going on?
>"Now," Twilight says after they all break the group hug, "Let's get this friendship problem straightened right out, shall we?"
"What?"
>"What?" the psycho concurs.
>"What?" mom double concurs.
>"What?" surfer dude triple concurs.
>"Well," dad booms, "We can't very well let this little tussle harm our diplomatic relations, can we?"
>"Yeah, those minotaurs can be real geezers," the pink horse concurs, "And I don't want our children to hate each other!"
>"So, we've come to a little arrangement!"
>"Twilight here is going to sort this little friendship problem out, lickety split!"
>"They'll be her guests down at her lovely Ponyville castle for the next few days!"
>"Becoming the best of friends while we straighten this little incident out!"
>"I've already gotten your bags packed and ready," Twilight concurs, floating a long slip of paper out. "And a whole list of things that'll be sure to help you two become best friends in no time at all!"
>As if processing this wasn't enough, the three of them decide to strike a pose together.
>Sparkles fly from the tips of their limbs as they fall into place, and a small blast of air accompanies their loud, simultaneous proclamation:
>"It's the perfect solution!"
>Utter silence dominates the room, their simultaneous pose standing tall in the midst of what they just said.
>Actually, one thing does come to your mind during all this.
>Just one, singular word.
>What.
>Excuse you?
>What?
>They don't actually...?
>No.
>No way.
>Uh-uh.
>No.
>No, no, no.
>No.
>No!
>This is not fucking cool.
>This isn't even remotely fucking cool!
>Almost as if God himself synchronized all four of you, those not part of the magnificent pose all called out in one voice:
"WHAT?!"
>>195338
Did I seriously take a week to get this updated? Damn, guess I really wasn't gonna hit my goal of 'smut by xmas' goal after all. Oh well, we'll get there eventually. I lay the blame completely on the post-gifting festivities. And the booze. Definitely the booze.
I'm considering Pastebinning this madness, but perhaps later. Threads being permanent here and all, it only makes sense for the /mlp/ crowd to get Pastebins. Fishing opportunity, mayhaps? Incidentally, thanks to the other guys who bumped the other porn thread, and inadvertently kept the links in >>164943 working and ready. Catch you all later! Hopefully not another week later
Did I seriously take a week to get this updated? Damn, guess I really wasn't gonna hit my goal of 'smut by xmas' goal after all. Oh well, we'll get there eventually. I lay the blame completely on the post-gifting festivities. And the booze. Definitely the booze.
I'm considering Pastebinning this madness, but perhaps later. Threads being permanent here and all, it only makes sense for the /mlp/ crowd to get Pastebins. Fishing opportunity, mayhaps? Incidentally, thanks to the other guys who bumped the other porn thread, and inadvertently kept the links in >>164943 working and ready. Catch you all later! Hopefully not another week later
>>195339
I can see the setup to an extraordinary hate-fuck coming up. The image is already glorious in my mind.
I can see the setup to an extraordinary hate-fuck coming up. The image is already glorious in my mind.
File (): 1B6E04181FB94A24E378996692FB4183-1414412.png (1.3 MB, 2135x1873, 1922833__explicit_artist-colon-ritter_roseluck_anatomically correct_anus_blushing_christmas_christmas tree_dock_ear fluff_earth pony_fema.png)
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File (): CF597FBE1B6DDC5B09D15728E8AF7044-510732.png (498.8 KB, 750x750, 1922965__explicit_artist-colon-lumineko_oc_oc only_oc-colon-takara_alicorn_alicorn oc_anatomically correct_anus_blushing_clitoris_dock_fe.png)
File (): F662E63DD0FD18B9E725D5E4234AAF2E-2967322.png (2.8 MB, 1870x2000, 1924439__explicit_artist-colon-arctic-dash-fox_oc_oc-colon-ash_oc-colon-nimble wing_oc only_anatomically correct_christmas_christmas tree.png)
File (): 6A427504F5FD115619501C8F3FBD4BBC-1065451.gif (1.0 MB, 720x500, 1923454__explicit_artist-colon-thecoldsbarn_oc_oc-colon-cold dream_oc-colon-zedwin_ambiguous penetration_animated_bedroom eyes_christmas_.gif)
File (): 028A788F4120C29C90815B76F7A7C299-1865635.png (1.8 MB, 2000x1600, 1923035__explicit_artist-colon-badlittlegodzilla_derpibooru exclusive_oc_oc-colon-rain drop_ass_blushing_cum_earth pony_female_from behin.png)
A bit late, but here's a bump.
File (): 680C12B844950BDC1ADBA078E18B565C-833919.png (814.4 KB, 1479x1316, 1925379__explicit_artist-colon-pearlyiridescence_oc_oc-colon-kissy_oc only_oc-colon-tankard_69 position_ahegao_balls_bar_blowjob_blushing.png)
File (): 4295AAC9BAC437D0B5A0EE24A61A5F13-1187313.png (1.1 MB, 5000x4000, 1925390__explicit_artist-colon-red_moonwolf_oc_oc-colon-eclipsed moonwolf_oc only_anus_female_floppy ears_glowing eyes_glowing horn_kirin.png)
File (): ADB8D35E5E73A6731D0712C485654934-456959.jpg (446.2 KB, 911x700, 1925084__explicit_artist-colon-dolorosacake_oc_oc-colon-mariposa_oc-colon-mic check_oc only_alcohol_armpits_bat pony_bat pony oc_cowgirl .jpg)
File (): 5F3EF4C70C0BDAAC76A6948D7E5F166A-16996978.png (16.2 MB, 7809x6257, 1926030__explicit_artist-colon-nevobaster_princess cadance_shining armor_alicorn_alternate hairstyle_anatomically correct_anus_bed_bird_b.png)
File (): 37983A2501341550B90ACCFAD8E8BBBB-784594.jpg (766.2 KB, 2893x4092, 1926504__explicit_artist-colon-kebchach_oc_oc only_oc-colon-sleepy goodnight_anus_blushing_female_looking at you_looking back_mare_nudity.jpg)
File (): E55A49CB0280EC0C3423048A02846C18-3030400.png (2.9 MB, 2000x1933, 1826663__explicit_artist-colon-kianara_oc_oc only_anal_anal creampie_anus_ass_clop_commission_creampie_cum_double_double penetration_fema.png)
>>195338
>No sooner does this bombshell of bullshit drop on you than everything starts glowing purple and--
>Holy shit what the fuck you're floating--!
>"Oh, I'm really looking forward to this, you two!" that Twilight pony says--
>Her horn's fucking glowing!
>Oh, hell no!
"Put me down!"
>"Cut it out, Twilight!" that psycho half screeches.
>Wait she's being floated too?
>Oh, no.
>Oh, hell no!
>Hell the fuck no, you are not staying anywhere near this fucking psycho!
>That Twilight horse wraps the still struggling psycho in a full-body hug, complete with very one-sided cheek nuzzling.
>"Oh, it'll be just like old times, Flurry!"
>"Those didn't involve holding me prisoner!"
>"D'aww, you'll do just fine! I'm sure of it!"
>"I'm not going anywhere with that crazy ape!"
>"Uncle Spike's really missed you, you know! You'll have lots of time to catch up with him now!"
>"Twilight I swear to Epona--!"
>The psycho is briefly silenced by a big kiss to her cheek, before her purple assailant turns her gaze to you.
>"And I'm so happy to see you again too, Anon!"
>Dad and that pink horse just look on with big smiles on their faces.
>"I know you really enjoyed your last visit with your parents, so I went out of my way to make this little sleepover as enjoyable as possible for you!"
"I never agreed to anything like a sleepover!"
>Oh dear God, if you have to bunk with that psycho--!
>"You remember Spike, don't you?"
>Only that he was kind of cool.
>Dragons have that effect.
>Didn't he have some kind of pony girlfriend over then, too?
>"Well I had him stock up on all kinds of meats, special for you!"
"Is that supposed to make me feel better about being abducted?"
>Okay, context completely aside, that was quite the gigglesnort she had.
>"Don't be silly, your parents okayed the whole thing!"
"My parents are demons from hell that want to see me suffer!"
>"Yeah," the cunt princess cries, "What he said!"
>This time, it's the nearby parents that laugh alongside this Twilight pony.
>"Now wait just a minute, all of you!" mom calls from behind, sounding quite agitated.
>"We never agreed to anything like this!" that surfer dude concurs.
>Great, the only two adults on your side here, and they're completely fucking useless!
>See, these three are only laughing harder!
>"Ohh goodness," dad chortles, "I remember when I called my father the same thing!"
>"Me too," the pink one giggles, "And that was just over me being out too late!"
>"But in all seriousness," dad says, eyes pointed straight at you, "You will be attending this little excursion with princess Twilight."
>"And you will make up with each other," the pink one adds, her eyes aimed at the psycho. "And we'll both be very, very disappointed if we hear you've caused Twilight any trouble."
>"After all, as a princess of Equestria proper, causing a stir in her domain would be quite... unwise."
>Uh-oh.
>"And I can't say it would go over well with my ponies, being such good allies with Equestria and all that."
>Oh Jesus Christ they planned it like this didn't they.
>It's right then, when the implications dawn upon you, that you finally see it.
>That evil sparkle in both dad's and that pink horse's eyes.
>"I don't care let me go already I don't wanna go!" the psycho screeches, flailing against her magic floating.
"You said you were gonna take me home," you grumble at dad.
>A few moments of that evil sparkling in his eyes later, and he finally responds in his normally jovial tone.
>"Ahahahah! Why yes, I did! But alas, you failed to clarify as to which home it was going to be!"
"Cheating son of a bitch."
>"Ahahahah! Complaining about cheating in politics! Ahh, you've still much to learn, my boy!"
"You are the devil and I resent your very soul."
>"So, will there be any problems with this arrangement, my boy?"
"How long?" you sigh.
>"Until it's sorted, of course!"
>You fucking knew he wouldn't give you a straight answer holy shit you hate this asshole so fucking much.
>You fold your arms and grumble, and somewhere along the line you're finally set down onto the ground.
>Holding your fucking country's alliances over your head like that, what a fucking dick.
>Fucking shit fuck god damn son of a bitch orange juice looking piece of shit go die in a fucking fire.
>"Now!" that Twilight chirps, "We all set and ready to go?"
>She'll get nothing but grumbles out of you, and apparently the psycho feels the same way.
>"That's great! Come on, right this way! I even got the heated carriage for this! Eeeeeee, I can't wait!"
>Wow, isn't that just so fucking luxurious?
>You don't even bother looking at any of your bastard parents from hell as you march to your doom behind Twilight, making sure to keep a healthy distance from the grumbling psycho horse.
>And there it was, a big flashy chariot that was as garish as it was covered in gems.
>Seriously, what's with ponies and gems?
>Gold is the objectively better choice.
>"Now it'll take a few minutes to reach the castle, so I went ahead and got some tea ready for the trip there!"
>Well, at least there's some good news.
>Ponies do have some bomb ass tea, after all.
>You step into the carriage, and okay, you'll admit, it's pretty nicely furnished, gay pink and purple colour scheme aside.
>And the tea set was pretty balling, too, all loaded with antigravity magic and shit.
>So this Twilight was still at least somewhat based, despite her jailkeeper role for the forseeable future.
>Ooh, and the tea's good, too.
>Perfect temperature.
>Unfortunately, the psychotic cunt went for some as well.
>A brief glaring match passed between you and the now unclothed twat, until it settled into sipping away, trying to avoid all eye contact.
>Yeah, this is gonna go from sucking to blowing, real fucking fast.
>Fuck your life sideways.
...
>No sooner does this bombshell of bullshit drop on you than everything starts glowing purple and--
>Holy shit what the fuck you're floating--!
>"Oh, I'm really looking forward to this, you two!" that Twilight pony says--
>Her horn's fucking glowing!
>Oh, hell no!
"Put me down!"
>"Cut it out, Twilight!" that psycho half screeches.
>Wait she's being floated too?
>Oh, no.
>Oh, hell no!
>Hell the fuck no, you are not staying anywhere near this fucking psycho!
>That Twilight horse wraps the still struggling psycho in a full-body hug, complete with very one-sided cheek nuzzling.
>"Oh, it'll be just like old times, Flurry!"
>"Those didn't involve holding me prisoner!"
>"D'aww, you'll do just fine! I'm sure of it!"
>"I'm not going anywhere with that crazy ape!"
>"Uncle Spike's really missed you, you know! You'll have lots of time to catch up with him now!"
>"Twilight I swear to Epona--!"
>The psycho is briefly silenced by a big kiss to her cheek, before her purple assailant turns her gaze to you.
>"And I'm so happy to see you again too, Anon!"
>Dad and that pink horse just look on with big smiles on their faces.
>"I know you really enjoyed your last visit with your parents, so I went out of my way to make this little sleepover as enjoyable as possible for you!"
"I never agreed to anything like a sleepover!"
>Oh dear God, if you have to bunk with that psycho--!
>"You remember Spike, don't you?"
>Only that he was kind of cool.
>Dragons have that effect.
>Didn't he have some kind of pony girlfriend over then, too?
>"Well I had him stock up on all kinds of meats, special for you!"
"Is that supposed to make me feel better about being abducted?"
>Okay, context completely aside, that was quite the gigglesnort she had.
>"Don't be silly, your parents okayed the whole thing!"
"My parents are demons from hell that want to see me suffer!"
>"Yeah," the cunt princess cries, "What he said!"
>This time, it's the nearby parents that laugh alongside this Twilight pony.
>"Now wait just a minute, all of you!" mom calls from behind, sounding quite agitated.
>"We never agreed to anything like this!" that surfer dude concurs.
>Great, the only two adults on your side here, and they're completely fucking useless!
>See, these three are only laughing harder!
>"Ohh goodness," dad chortles, "I remember when I called my father the same thing!"
>"Me too," the pink one giggles, "And that was just over me being out too late!"
>"But in all seriousness," dad says, eyes pointed straight at you, "You will be attending this little excursion with princess Twilight."
>"And you will make up with each other," the pink one adds, her eyes aimed at the psycho. "And we'll both be very, very disappointed if we hear you've caused Twilight any trouble."
>"After all, as a princess of Equestria proper, causing a stir in her domain would be quite... unwise."
>Uh-oh.
>"And I can't say it would go over well with my ponies, being such good allies with Equestria and all that."
>Oh Jesus Christ they planned it like this didn't they.
>It's right then, when the implications dawn upon you, that you finally see it.
>That evil sparkle in both dad's and that pink horse's eyes.
>"I don't care let me go already I don't wanna go!" the psycho screeches, flailing against her magic floating.
"You said you were gonna take me home," you grumble at dad.
>A few moments of that evil sparkling in his eyes later, and he finally responds in his normally jovial tone.
>"Ahahahah! Why yes, I did! But alas, you failed to clarify as to which home it was going to be!"
"Cheating son of a bitch."
>"Ahahahah! Complaining about cheating in politics! Ahh, you've still much to learn, my boy!"
"You are the devil and I resent your very soul."
>"So, will there be any problems with this arrangement, my boy?"
"How long?" you sigh.
>"Until it's sorted, of course!"
>You fucking knew he wouldn't give you a straight answer holy shit you hate this asshole so fucking much.
>You fold your arms and grumble, and somewhere along the line you're finally set down onto the ground.
>Holding your fucking country's alliances over your head like that, what a fucking dick.
>Fucking shit fuck god damn son of a bitch orange juice looking piece of shit go die in a fucking fire.
>"Now!" that Twilight chirps, "We all set and ready to go?"
>She'll get nothing but grumbles out of you, and apparently the psycho feels the same way.
>"That's great! Come on, right this way! I even got the heated carriage for this! Eeeeeee, I can't wait!"
>Wow, isn't that just so fucking luxurious?
>You don't even bother looking at any of your bastard parents from hell as you march to your doom behind Twilight, making sure to keep a healthy distance from the grumbling psycho horse.
>And there it was, a big flashy chariot that was as garish as it was covered in gems.
>Seriously, what's with ponies and gems?
>Gold is the objectively better choice.
>"Now it'll take a few minutes to reach the castle, so I went ahead and got some tea ready for the trip there!"
>Well, at least there's some good news.
>Ponies do have some bomb ass tea, after all.
>You step into the carriage, and okay, you'll admit, it's pretty nicely furnished, gay pink and purple colour scheme aside.
>And the tea set was pretty balling, too, all loaded with antigravity magic and shit.
>So this Twilight was still at least somewhat based, despite her jailkeeper role for the forseeable future.
>Ooh, and the tea's good, too.
>Perfect temperature.
>Unfortunately, the psychotic cunt went for some as well.
>A brief glaring match passed between you and the now unclothed twat, until it settled into sipping away, trying to avoid all eye contact.
>Yeah, this is gonna go from sucking to blowing, real fucking fast.
>Fuck your life sideways.
...
>>196480
>"This is absolutely unacceptable!" Mrs. Augustulus screeches at her husband.
"What were you thinking?!" you nearly yell at Cadance.
>"Well," she replies in an ever-cheery tone, "I was thinking of getting this little rough patch between them straightened out, of course!"
>"Indeed!" Mr. Augustulus booms, as if unaware of any wrongdoing, "Those pesky minotaurs are a persnickety bunch! Why, their own little prince was on the scene when those two had their disagreement, after all!"
>"D-Disagreement?!" his wife gapes, incredulous as can be. "You call that a disagreement?!"
>"Why yes, my love! A small trifling scuffle that a little proximity can fix right up!"
>"Yep!" Cadance adds, cheery as can be. "Oh, I'll bet they'll be best of friends by this time next week! I can feel it!"
"Honey, I know this isn't the first time I've said this, but have you lost your mind?!"
>"What, you don't think your sister can do it?"
"That is not what I am saying!"
>"Did the pair of you just... just forget everything that happened between those two?!" Mrs. Augustulus repeats.
>"Oh, just a little tussle is all!" Cadance chirps to your ever-growing disbelief.
>"They called each other horrible names, some of which I'd never heard before!"
"And did you just forget about the bruises that had to be treated with magic?!"
>"Bah, no need to be soft on them, my man!" Mr. Augustulus booms. "Why, I remember getting and giving far worse on a weekly basis with my best friends!"
"Y-you beat up your friends?!"
>"Absolutely! Why, nothing could separate us!"
"That doesn't even--! Aaaagh, you're missing the point!"
>"Who, me?"
>His face becomes even as his eyes settle upon you, and his tone shifts to something more... serious.
>"Or do you mean you, Shining?"
"Wh-what?"
>"Well, think about it," Cadance chimes in, her own tone matching his. "Equestria's trying to avoid war, and the Federation is chomping at the bit to fight it out with the Dominion!"
>"Oh, my son is quite right about us being able to defeat them militarily, but that wouldn't paint the best picture of us, now would it? Why, just imagine if those slimy griffons decided to join the fight against us!"
>"Mmhmm. Those guys are super angry at humanity all the time! And of course, the buffalo would do almost anything to help their minotaur friends, even after everything Twilight did for them!"
>"This is a real powder keg we've found ourselves plonked right atop of. And now, as if things weren't strained enough, our children have a public tantrum, for all the other royal children to see!"
>Both you and Mrs. Augustulus can't help but shrink back as they lean in closer, no trace of a smile on either of their faces.
>"Leaving us to perform damage control while they make up with one another," he intones.
>"So as you can see, this is about a lot more than just a pair of old friends playing catch-up," she intones with him.
>"We'll be stuck in this castle for as long as they will be in princess Twilight's, repairing far more than I'd bargained for."
>"Mmhmm. And there's no way I'm letting war break out, especially not with one of my very best friends."
>"Understand now?"
>"Understand now?"
>U-uhh, w-well...
>Oh gosh darn it, Cadance looks so scary when she's serious!
>But that Incognito, geez...!
>That look of his might as well be staring right through your soul!
>"Wh-why didn't you tell us about this first?" Mrs. Augustulus whispers.
>"I'm terribly sorry my love, but there was no time to deliberate."
>"To be honest," Cadance says, "Twilight was the real lifesaver here. I still don't know how she's so good at making plans!"
"M-me neither. But still, you should have--!"
>She cuts you off with a swift hug.
>"Oh I'm sorry Shiny, please don't be mad!"
>No no no don't make the puppy dog eyes!
>You're supposed to be angry!
>"Pleeeeeease?"
>Aaaagh, this mare!
>Every time!
>Why does it work every single time?!
>"Come now, honey!" Mr. Augustulus booms, embracing his pouting wife. "What's done is done!"
>"I'm still not happy about this," she grumbles.
>"I know, and I am terribly sorry about that."
>"You actually think he'll, well, make up?"
>"Absolutely! Why, he picked up on the gravity of the situation right away! I'm sure it'll be nothing but a runaway success with him and that young lady!"
>Aaaaah, Cadance, seriously?!
>She had to gasp that loud, right next to you?!
>"Nito!" she squees.
>Uh-oh, she has that sparkle in her eyes...
>"NitoNitoNitoNitoIjustthoughtofthecraziestbutbestestideaever--!!"
>Said human reaches out to shush her with a hand clamped around her muzzle.
>"Sorry Candy, but not all of us have that enviable princess stamina. Can your idea wait until tomorrow?"
>Wow, he does look tired, doesn't he?
>"Oh, fine!" she huffs. "Gosh, you used to be so much more energetic!"
>"The hottest stars burn out the quickest, I'm afraid. Well, that and I lack a literal magic star right inside my soul."
>"Nito, you've gotta stop reading that thaumaturgy tripe! Talk about fake news!"
>"But it's so entertaining, Candy! The action! The drama! And that antagonist with the Biblical name, my goodness!"
>"But it goes on forever and ever! Honestly, are they ever going to write the ending to it before the publisher shuts down?"
>"I've got faith, Candy! The writers just need to stop getting sidetracked with all those side projects!"
>"So, never?"
>"Ohh, really now!"
"Ahem."
>"Ahem," his wife concurs.
>"Fine, fine!" Cadance huffs. "Well, you two will be happy to hear that I got the best diplomat's suite in the castle!"
>"Candy, your people skills never cease to amaze!"
>Sleep sounds wonderful right now.
...
>"This is absolutely unacceptable!" Mrs. Augustulus screeches at her husband.
"What were you thinking?!" you nearly yell at Cadance.
>"Well," she replies in an ever-cheery tone, "I was thinking of getting this little rough patch between them straightened out, of course!"
>"Indeed!" Mr. Augustulus booms, as if unaware of any wrongdoing, "Those pesky minotaurs are a persnickety bunch! Why, their own little prince was on the scene when those two had their disagreement, after all!"
>"D-Disagreement?!" his wife gapes, incredulous as can be. "You call that a disagreement?!"
>"Why yes, my love! A small trifling scuffle that a little proximity can fix right up!"
>"Yep!" Cadance adds, cheery as can be. "Oh, I'll bet they'll be best of friends by this time next week! I can feel it!"
"Honey, I know this isn't the first time I've said this, but have you lost your mind?!"
>"What, you don't think your sister can do it?"
"That is not what I am saying!"
>"Did the pair of you just... just forget everything that happened between those two?!" Mrs. Augustulus repeats.
>"Oh, just a little tussle is all!" Cadance chirps to your ever-growing disbelief.
>"They called each other horrible names, some of which I'd never heard before!"
"And did you just forget about the bruises that had to be treated with magic?!"
>"Bah, no need to be soft on them, my man!" Mr. Augustulus booms. "Why, I remember getting and giving far worse on a weekly basis with my best friends!"
"Y-you beat up your friends?!"
>"Absolutely! Why, nothing could separate us!"
"That doesn't even--! Aaaagh, you're missing the point!"
>"Who, me?"
>His face becomes even as his eyes settle upon you, and his tone shifts to something more... serious.
>"Or do you mean you, Shining?"
"Wh-what?"
>"Well, think about it," Cadance chimes in, her own tone matching his. "Equestria's trying to avoid war, and the Federation is chomping at the bit to fight it out with the Dominion!"
>"Oh, my son is quite right about us being able to defeat them militarily, but that wouldn't paint the best picture of us, now would it? Why, just imagine if those slimy griffons decided to join the fight against us!"
>"Mmhmm. Those guys are super angry at humanity all the time! And of course, the buffalo would do almost anything to help their minotaur friends, even after everything Twilight did for them!"
>"This is a real powder keg we've found ourselves plonked right atop of. And now, as if things weren't strained enough, our children have a public tantrum, for all the other royal children to see!"
>Both you and Mrs. Augustulus can't help but shrink back as they lean in closer, no trace of a smile on either of their faces.
>"Leaving us to perform damage control while they make up with one another," he intones.
>"So as you can see, this is about a lot more than just a pair of old friends playing catch-up," she intones with him.
>"We'll be stuck in this castle for as long as they will be in princess Twilight's, repairing far more than I'd bargained for."
>"Mmhmm. And there's no way I'm letting war break out, especially not with one of my very best friends."
>"Understand now?"
>"Understand now?"
>U-uhh, w-well...
>Oh gosh darn it, Cadance looks so scary when she's serious!
>But that Incognito, geez...!
>That look of his might as well be staring right through your soul!
>"Wh-why didn't you tell us about this first?" Mrs. Augustulus whispers.
>"I'm terribly sorry my love, but there was no time to deliberate."
>"To be honest," Cadance says, "Twilight was the real lifesaver here. I still don't know how she's so good at making plans!"
"M-me neither. But still, you should have--!"
>She cuts you off with a swift hug.
>"Oh I'm sorry Shiny, please don't be mad!"
>No no no don't make the puppy dog eyes!
>You're supposed to be angry!
>"Pleeeeeease?"
>Aaaagh, this mare!
>Every time!
>Why does it work every single time?!
>"Come now, honey!" Mr. Augustulus booms, embracing his pouting wife. "What's done is done!"
>"I'm still not happy about this," she grumbles.
>"I know, and I am terribly sorry about that."
>"You actually think he'll, well, make up?"
>"Absolutely! Why, he picked up on the gravity of the situation right away! I'm sure it'll be nothing but a runaway success with him and that young lady!"
>Aaaaah, Cadance, seriously?!
>She had to gasp that loud, right next to you?!
>"Nito!" she squees.
>Uh-oh, she has that sparkle in her eyes...
>"NitoNitoNitoNitoIjustthoughtofthecraziestbutbestestideaever--!!"
>Said human reaches out to shush her with a hand clamped around her muzzle.
>"Sorry Candy, but not all of us have that enviable princess stamina. Can your idea wait until tomorrow?"
>Wow, he does look tired, doesn't he?
>"Oh, fine!" she huffs. "Gosh, you used to be so much more energetic!"
>"The hottest stars burn out the quickest, I'm afraid. Well, that and I lack a literal magic star right inside my soul."
>"Nito, you've gotta stop reading that thaumaturgy tripe! Talk about fake news!"
>"But it's so entertaining, Candy! The action! The drama! And that antagonist with the Biblical name, my goodness!"
>"But it goes on forever and ever! Honestly, are they ever going to write the ending to it before the publisher shuts down?"
>"I've got faith, Candy! The writers just need to stop getting sidetracked with all those side projects!"
>"So, never?"
>"Ohh, really now!"
"Ahem."
>"Ahem," his wife concurs.
>"Fine, fine!" Cadance huffs. "Well, you two will be happy to hear that I got the best diplomat's suite in the castle!"
>"Candy, your people skills never cease to amaze!"
>Sleep sounds wonderful right now.
...
>>196481
>"And the day after tomorrow's going to involve so much outdoor activity, you two! I've already made reservations at the lake, gotten all the temperature spells ready to go, and have all the swimwear sizes for Rarity to do her thing with!"
>Sweet merciful Christ riding a burning unicycle, how much can this princess talk?!
>You only just got inside her freaky castle, and she's still going on about her day plans!
>"Now, the meal plan for that day will involve a lovely continental breakfast of..."
>Yeah, you're just gonna tune that right out.
>And do your best to ignore the presence of the cunt princess.
>Wait.
>Jesus, she's still going!
>And--
>Wait.
>Did she...?
>No fucking way.
>She didn't even stop to breathe!
>Holy piss, she's been going on three minutes of uninterrupted talking, and without a single fucking breath!
>Fucking alicorns are freaks of nature what the actual fuck man now you're starting to get kinda scared by this whole fucking prospect.
>"Aaaaaand I've still got to get to work on planning the days after that!"
>Oh thank Christ she's finished with that shit.
>"Now, this is where you'll be staying!"
>Huh, when did you get to this big ass door?
>Twilight whisks it open with magic, and...
>Uhh, okay, this is different.
>Good different, that is!
>Look at this place, a fucking four-post bed!
>And is that a fucking thaumputer on the desk there?
>Oh please say it has a good Visternet connection, for the love of God.
>You know, maybe this won't be that bad!
>"Well, get comfortable! We'll be having dinner soon, so I'll be back in half an hour to get you two!"
"Okay!"
>Yeah yeah whatever, you're hitting that machine like--
>"Twilight," comes the irritating voice of the cunt princess, "You are not serious right now."
>"Mm? Well, why wouldn't I be serious, Flurry?"
>"Don't play that with me! Where's my room?!"
>"This is your room, Flurry!"
>Wait what the fuck is she whining about now?
>You turn towards the bickering alicorn pair, but your head whips right back to the room after you catch sight of something very, very horrifying.
>The same exact bed, desk, and thaumputer setup mirrored on the other side of the room.
>Oh, no.
>Oh, hell to the fuck no!
>Murphy you absolute fucking son of a bitch, you're gonna fucking kill his fucking family in front of him!
>Back to Twilight you turn with the fury of hell itself burning in your gut.
>"I am not staying with him around!" she screeches, pointing at you.
"I am not staying with her around!" you bellow, pointing at her.
>What may have been a gigglesnort for her was a huge eye twitch for you.
>"Oh, it's not such a big deal!"
"Yes it is!"
>"Yes it is!"
>"Well why else would I give you two half an hour before dinner to get used to this? I think of these things!"
>"Witch! Tirek didn't get locked up for this!"
"Everywhere I go, I'm surrounded by fucking demons from--!"
>A zap of purple fires from her horn--
>Yaaaaaagh!
>"There will be no swearing in my house, Mr. Augustulus," Twilight says, curt as can be.
>Jesus Christ that fucking hurt what the fuck is her problem?!
>"Now, me and the others are gonna be hard at work getting dinner ready."
"Wait just a minute--!"
>"Twilight don't you fucking dare--"
>ZAP
>"Yaaaah, fucker--!"
>ZAP
>"Holy shit stop--!"
>ZAP
>"Oowww! Okay, okay, I get it!"
>"Remember, half an hour! Be ready by then, you two!"
"This zapping business is highly illegal in the Dominion!"
>"See you two later!"
"Hey, don't you walk off--!"
>Aaaaaand she just teleported away.
>Bitchtit gargling son of a monkey's whore what the fuck man?!
>The autistic screech that just escaped your lungs was somehow matched by the twat princess beside you, not that you fucking care because holy mother of God this fucking blows you want out of here right fucking now!
>Oh fuck this so hard man!
>No you know what, fuck dinner, you just wanna fucking deepthroat an S1000 right now!
>And fuck this gay noise, at least you can see if the thaumputer fucking works right!
>Funnily enough, your shit was already laid out on the right half of the room, making the thaumputer choice a no-brainer.
>Flicking the power on, you're met with--
>Are you serious?!
>A fucking time lock?!
>And she set the fucking supervisor password, too?!
>No fuck this, fuck everything, this is the literal fucking worst fuck this fuck that fuck every living being on the planet fucking Equus you're so fucking done right now Jesus Christ have mercy!
>In the end, you just flop onto the bed, completely ignoring the awesome cloud mattress in favour of tossing around and occasionally glaring at your similarly flopping cunt roommate.
>Dinner comes, and you're all too happy to leave this prison cell.
>Twilight was there along with that Spike guy, a head shorter than you and with the arms of a serious lifter.
>And some other pony.
>Starbright Twitter?
>Fuck if you know, hell if you care, but she was obviously Spike's bitch.
>Yeah, that's the fucking secret to Equestrian dominance right there.
>Not the alicorns, not this Element of Lobotomy shit, none of that.
>They've just got an overabundance of smoking hot women that they use to fuck their way into peace.
>And it works, too!
>There's a reason they monopolized the whole fucking porn industry!
>It's like they're fucking built for it, man!
>Well not you, nosiree!
>No fucking quadruped thots for you!
>"And the day after tomorrow's going to involve so much outdoor activity, you two! I've already made reservations at the lake, gotten all the temperature spells ready to go, and have all the swimwear sizes for Rarity to do her thing with!"
>Sweet merciful Christ riding a burning unicycle, how much can this princess talk?!
>You only just got inside her freaky castle, and she's still going on about her day plans!
>"Now, the meal plan for that day will involve a lovely continental breakfast of..."
>Yeah, you're just gonna tune that right out.
>And do your best to ignore the presence of the cunt princess.
>Wait.
>Jesus, she's still going!
>And--
>Wait.
>Did she...?
>No fucking way.
>She didn't even stop to breathe!
>Holy piss, she's been going on three minutes of uninterrupted talking, and without a single fucking breath!
>Fucking alicorns are freaks of nature what the actual fuck man now you're starting to get kinda scared by this whole fucking prospect.
>"Aaaaaand I've still got to get to work on planning the days after that!"
>Oh thank Christ she's finished with that shit.
>"Now, this is where you'll be staying!"
>Huh, when did you get to this big ass door?
>Twilight whisks it open with magic, and...
>Uhh, okay, this is different.
>Good different, that is!
>Look at this place, a fucking four-post bed!
>And is that a fucking thaumputer on the desk there?
>Oh please say it has a good Visternet connection, for the love of God.
>You know, maybe this won't be that bad!
>"Well, get comfortable! We'll be having dinner soon, so I'll be back in half an hour to get you two!"
"Okay!"
>Yeah yeah whatever, you're hitting that machine like--
>"Twilight," comes the irritating voice of the cunt princess, "You are not serious right now."
>"Mm? Well, why wouldn't I be serious, Flurry?"
>"Don't play that with me! Where's my room?!"
>"This is your room, Flurry!"
>Wait what the fuck is she whining about now?
>You turn towards the bickering alicorn pair, but your head whips right back to the room after you catch sight of something very, very horrifying.
>The same exact bed, desk, and thaumputer setup mirrored on the other side of the room.
>Oh, no.
>Oh, hell to the fuck no!
>Murphy you absolute fucking son of a bitch, you're gonna fucking kill his fucking family in front of him!
>Back to Twilight you turn with the fury of hell itself burning in your gut.
>"I am not staying with him around!" she screeches, pointing at you.
"I am not staying with her around!" you bellow, pointing at her.
>What may have been a gigglesnort for her was a huge eye twitch for you.
>"Oh, it's not such a big deal!"
"Yes it is!"
>"Yes it is!"
>"Well why else would I give you two half an hour before dinner to get used to this? I think of these things!"
>"Witch! Tirek didn't get locked up for this!"
"Everywhere I go, I'm surrounded by fucking demons from--!"
>A zap of purple fires from her horn--
>Yaaaaaagh!
>"There will be no swearing in my house, Mr. Augustulus," Twilight says, curt as can be.
>Jesus Christ that fucking hurt what the fuck is her problem?!
>"Now, me and the others are gonna be hard at work getting dinner ready."
"Wait just a minute--!"
>"Twilight don't you fucking dare--"
>ZAP
>"Yaaaah, fucker--!"
>ZAP
>"Holy shit stop--!"
>ZAP
>"Oowww! Okay, okay, I get it!"
>"Remember, half an hour! Be ready by then, you two!"
"This zapping business is highly illegal in the Dominion!"
>"See you two later!"
"Hey, don't you walk off--!"
>Aaaaaand she just teleported away.
>Bitchtit gargling son of a monkey's whore what the fuck man?!
>The autistic screech that just escaped your lungs was somehow matched by the twat princess beside you, not that you fucking care because holy mother of God this fucking blows you want out of here right fucking now!
>Oh fuck this so hard man!
>No you know what, fuck dinner, you just wanna fucking deepthroat an S1000 right now!
>And fuck this gay noise, at least you can see if the thaumputer fucking works right!
>Funnily enough, your shit was already laid out on the right half of the room, making the thaumputer choice a no-brainer.
>Flicking the power on, you're met with--
>Are you serious?!
>A fucking time lock?!
>And she set the fucking supervisor password, too?!
>No fuck this, fuck everything, this is the literal fucking worst fuck this fuck that fuck every living being on the planet fucking Equus you're so fucking done right now Jesus Christ have mercy!
>In the end, you just flop onto the bed, completely ignoring the awesome cloud mattress in favour of tossing around and occasionally glaring at your similarly flopping cunt roommate.
>Dinner comes, and you're all too happy to leave this prison cell.
>Twilight was there along with that Spike guy, a head shorter than you and with the arms of a serious lifter.
>And some other pony.
>Starbright Twitter?
>Fuck if you know, hell if you care, but she was obviously Spike's bitch.
>Yeah, that's the fucking secret to Equestrian dominance right there.
>Not the alicorns, not this Element of Lobotomy shit, none of that.
>They've just got an overabundance of smoking hot women that they use to fuck their way into peace.
>And it works, too!
>There's a reason they monopolized the whole fucking porn industry!
>It's like they're fucking built for it, man!
>Well not you, nosiree!
>No fucking quadruped thots for you!
>>196482
>Dinner ends, and you get sent off back to your-- fuck, the bedroom.
>The door shuts behind, and--
>"Let's get something straight here, shitheel."
>Oh, pwincess wants to tawk shit again?
>"I fucking hate you and I want you to die in a high speed carriage crash."
"And I hope you win the lottery and die the next day."
>"We're not fucking friends, and we never will be. Got that?"
"Yeah, well I don't fucking wanna be friends either."
>"I don't make friends with piece of shit fucking princes like you!"
"And I don't make friends with knock-kneed political chess pieces like you!"
>"I'm just going along with this to get out of here!"
"Finally, something intelligent to relate to!"
>"We're not friends!"
"Damn right we're not!"
>"Yeah!"
"Yeah!"
>"Good!"
"Good!"
>"Glad you understand!"
"Yeah, glad you understand too!"
>Have you mentioned yet how punchable that face is?
>"Good!"
"Good!"
>"Okay."
"Okay."
>A beat.
"Fine."
>"Fine."
"I'm going to sleep."
>"Yeah, me too."
"You better not fucking snore."
>"Look who's talking."
"Whatever."
>"Fuck you."
"Eat me."
>"You wish."
>A glaring contest ensures, one that remains even as you both shuffle over to your bathroom doors.
>At least this hellhole has separate fucking bathrooms!
>Nightly cleanup later, and you slink into bed without further incident.
>Man, fuck today.
>And fuck tomorrow.
>Fucking princess cunt and her fucking mouth.
>Fucking dad and his bullshit politics.
>Fucking everything sucks.
>Go to sleep already, Anon.
>Sleep!
>Oh for fuck's sake, sleep!
>Sleep!
>Aagh, what you wouldn't give for your phone right now!
>Okay, count sheep!
>1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16--
>Fuck, this is supposed to work?
>What a fucking load!
>1, 2, 3, 4... 5...
>...
#@>=-=<@#
Finna got this written out. Man, I've gotta give the movies and booze a rest, I'm never gonna keep writing at a good pace like this!
Anyways, I'll erect a Pastebin later on, but for now you get to bask in the proper formatting. Found a way to do it that was far less tedious and far less error-prone than my copypaste schema from before, so there's that!
Hope y'all enjoyed, and I certainly hope y'all are hyped for the next segment!
>Dinner ends, and you get sent off back to your-- fuck, the bedroom.
>The door shuts behind, and--
>"Let's get something straight here, shitheel."
>Oh, pwincess wants to tawk shit again?
>"I fucking hate you and I want you to die in a high speed carriage crash."
"And I hope you win the lottery and die the next day."
>"We're not fucking friends, and we never will be. Got that?"
"Yeah, well I don't fucking wanna be friends either."
>"I don't make friends with piece of shit fucking princes like you!"
"And I don't make friends with knock-kneed political chess pieces like you!"
>"I'm just going along with this to get out of here!"
"Finally, something intelligent to relate to!"
>"We're not friends!"
"Damn right we're not!"
>"Yeah!"
"Yeah!"
>"Good!"
"Good!"
>"Glad you understand!"
"Yeah, glad you understand too!"
>Have you mentioned yet how punchable that face is?
>"Good!"
"Good!"
>"Okay."
"Okay."
>A beat.
"Fine."
>"Fine."
"I'm going to sleep."
>"Yeah, me too."
"You better not fucking snore."
>"Look who's talking."
"Whatever."
>"Fuck you."
"Eat me."
>"You wish."
>A glaring contest ensures, one that remains even as you both shuffle over to your bathroom doors.
>At least this hellhole has separate fucking bathrooms!
>Nightly cleanup later, and you slink into bed without further incident.
>Man, fuck today.
>And fuck tomorrow.
>Fucking princess cunt and her fucking mouth.
>Fucking dad and his bullshit politics.
>Fucking everything sucks.
>Go to sleep already, Anon.
>Sleep!
>Oh for fuck's sake, sleep!
>Sleep!
>Aagh, what you wouldn't give for your phone right now!
>Okay, count sheep!
>1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16--
>Fuck, this is supposed to work?
>What a fucking load!
>1, 2, 3, 4... 5...
>...
#@>=-=<@#
Finna got this written out. Man, I've gotta give the movies and booze a rest, I'm never gonna keep writing at a good pace like this!
Anyways, I'll erect a Pastebin later on, but for now you get to bask in the proper formatting. Found a way to do it that was far less tedious and far less error-prone than my copypaste schema from before, so there's that!
Hope y'all enjoyed, and I certainly hope y'all are hyped for the next segment!
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Today's bump theme: good, clean, married sex. Why? I dunno, it just sounded nice. Stop questioning these things.
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No Anon x Cadance today, but I do have a bump.
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This is some good shit.
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Man, I've had to do two bumps in one day just to keep this up on page 1. Y'all've been busy.
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Press F to pay respects to Leafbro
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File (): 2837B2F9941B1DC81F8980C5EB9D99AD-25205158.webm (24.0 MB, Resolution:1280x720 Length:00:02:12, 1531360639747.webm) [play once] [loop]
>>199066
>that last artist
I cannot explain in words just how much I love that guy's work. The models, the smooth movement, the way her flanks quake and jiggle so hyonotically...god I wish the robot waifu revolution would come so I can fuck an actual Twilight droid.
>that last artist
I cannot explain in words just how much I love that guy's work. The models, the smooth movement, the way her flanks quake and jiggle so hyonotically...god I wish the robot waifu revolution would come so I can fuck an actual Twilight droid.
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Well, after a weekend absence, I'm glad to say that I'm back!
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>>200165
You don't.
There's too much free clop out there for any particular piece to worth paying for.
If there is a paywall, just leave it alone unless you really want to support the artist.
You don't.
There's too much free clop out there for any particular piece to worth paying for.
If there is a paywall, just leave it alone unless you really want to support the artist.
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>>200165
If you're not going to pay for them and support the artists? Most of the time, give it a while, between a couple months and a year, and they'll go free on Derpi.
If you're not going to pay for them and support the artists? Most of the time, give it a while, between a couple months and a year, and they'll go free on Derpi.
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>>196483
RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING
"Christ almighty!"
>"What the fuck?!"
>Bolting upright at the ungodly loud ringing sound, you frantically wave your head around to find--
>It's coming from the fucking thaumputer nearest to you.
>It's screen has an alarm clock lit up on it, complete with the time.
>That time being six in the morning.
>Seriously?
>It's that fucking bitch princess, isn't it?!
>Immediately you look over to the other side of the room to give that twat a piece of your mind, but are stopped when you see her own system flashing with the exact same thing.
>Moments after you and the bitch of the moment look at one another, the awful sound stops and is replaced with the voice of your current warden of Friendship Castle.
>"Gooooooood morning, you two~!" the infuriating visitized voice sing-songs over the speakers. "Breakfast will be served at seven o'clock sharp! Don't be late!"
"You slimy cocksucker--!"
>"You evil bitch--!"
>Aaaaand click goes the machine, returning to it's previously off state.
>Good fucking God every day here is going to be like this isn't it Jesus Christ what did you do to deserve this a fucking gulag is preferable to this hell!
>You groan aloud, and you think your cellmate did much the same thing.
"Why do bad things happen to good people?"
>"You're not a good person, jag off!"
"Wow, look who's talking."
>"Oh shut your fucking hole already! Like I don't have enough reasons to kill myself without your fucking voice being on the list!"
"Wait, someone's voice is a reason to kill yourself? Geez, talk about being worthless."
>You sit upright against the headboard in an attempt to not succumb to the sleep-bringing allure of the cloud mattress.
>"Huehuehue, aren't you just the funniest loser around?"
>Though her own grating vocals did a fantastic job of that already.
"Note to self: she can't get under anyone's skin to save her life in the morning."
>"I can punch your fucking lights out in the morning, how's that sound?!"
"Please do. No, really, I'd welcome it. Would probably be the first good thing you've ever done with your life."
>A few splutters, an autistic screech, and eventually she just sits upright herself, wrapped in blankets and pouting while giving you the stink eye.
>Yeah, because that's totally gonna work.
>Stupid fucking horse.
>"You gonna fucking leave anytime soon?"
"Right after I finish wakin' up."
>"Well do it faster!"
"No."
>"Oh for Epona's sake, just take your shit and go to the bathroom already!"
"Aaaaaand why would I do that? What, you shy or something?"
>"More like I don't need your shifty ass staring my way!"
"Uhh, what?"
>"Just hurry the fuck up and--"
"Nononono, hold up. You think I'm gonna, what, stare at you?"
>"Wow, he got something right for once!"
"I don't remember humans having eye lasers."
>"But I sure remember you wanting to fuck ponies!"
>What.
>And just where'd she pull that one from?
>"Princess ponies, to be exact!"
>Okay, so she's trying to be funny now.
>Stop the presses, it's not working.
>"Don't think I didn't see you eyeing me up back at Canterlot, shitheel!"
>Oh nevermind, she's completely serious.
>Well, then.
"Okay, so you're fucking nuts. That's good to know."
>"Oh, please! Do I look like an idiot to you?"
"Yes?"
RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING
"Oh for fuck's sake!"
>"Twilight you fucking bitch!"
>"Iiiiiiit's six-fifteen~! Time to wake uuuuuup~!"
>And just as soon as the ungodly interruption happens again, the machines shut back off.
"Fine, Jesus," you snort, flipping the covers off and pivoting to sit on the bedside. "You know, your aunt's a fucking psycho."
>"Fucking tell me about it!"
"Takes one to know one, huh?"
>"Will you shut the fuck up and get moving already?!"
"Okay."
>All you do is stretch out, keeping an eye trained on your continually glaring roommate.
>It doesn't take very long for her to lose her shit again.
>"The fuck are you doing, you asshole?"
"Just seeing how long you're gonna stare at my chest, is all."
>She blinks, then immediately turns away from your shirtless body with a flustered snort.
>"Better looking than your fucking face, that's for sure!"
"Wow, and you thought I was planning on screwing you?"
>"Get out you fucking douche!"
"I'll take projection for 2000, Alex."
>"GET THE FUCK OUT!"
>Yeah okay whatever, you've had enough of her anyways.
>Into the bathroom you go.
>Immediately after the door shuts, you hear magic lighting up from behind it complete with brief bouts of screeching, before you hear hooves clopping along the floor nearby that end in the other bathroom door slamming shut.
>Wow, talk about fucking repressed.
>What's she gonna do next, sniff your fucking dirty laundry?
>Heh, bet that'd make for some good entertainment.
>Y'know, if you had a fucking phone to record it with!
>Oh whatever, just get a move on already Anon.
>God only knows what fucking Twilight will do if you miss her 7 o'clock time.
>She was nutty enough about timetabling when you came here with mom and dad.
>Surprisingly, the big square bath was a pretty bitching shower as well, having two hose shower heads to work with and a nice selection of shit to wash with.
>You could easily fit two, maybe three people in here.
>Y'know, if you were stupid or crazy enough.
>Whatever, more for you, you guess.
RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING
"Christ almighty!"
>"What the fuck?!"
>Bolting upright at the ungodly loud ringing sound, you frantically wave your head around to find--
>It's coming from the fucking thaumputer nearest to you.
>It's screen has an alarm clock lit up on it, complete with the time.
>That time being six in the morning.
>Seriously?
>It's that fucking bitch princess, isn't it?!
>Immediately you look over to the other side of the room to give that twat a piece of your mind, but are stopped when you see her own system flashing with the exact same thing.
>Moments after you and the bitch of the moment look at one another, the awful sound stops and is replaced with the voice of your current warden of Friendship Castle.
>"Gooooooood morning, you two~!" the infuriating visitized voice sing-songs over the speakers. "Breakfast will be served at seven o'clock sharp! Don't be late!"
"You slimy cocksucker--!"
>"You evil bitch--!"
>Aaaaand click goes the machine, returning to it's previously off state.
>Good fucking God every day here is going to be like this isn't it Jesus Christ what did you do to deserve this a fucking gulag is preferable to this hell!
>You groan aloud, and you think your cellmate did much the same thing.
"Why do bad things happen to good people?"
>"You're not a good person, jag off!"
"Wow, look who's talking."
>"Oh shut your fucking hole already! Like I don't have enough reasons to kill myself without your fucking voice being on the list!"
"Wait, someone's voice is a reason to kill yourself? Geez, talk about being worthless."
>You sit upright against the headboard in an attempt to not succumb to the sleep-bringing allure of the cloud mattress.
>"Huehuehue, aren't you just the funniest loser around?"
>Though her own grating vocals did a fantastic job of that already.
"Note to self: she can't get under anyone's skin to save her life in the morning."
>"I can punch your fucking lights out in the morning, how's that sound?!"
"Please do. No, really, I'd welcome it. Would probably be the first good thing you've ever done with your life."
>A few splutters, an autistic screech, and eventually she just sits upright herself, wrapped in blankets and pouting while giving you the stink eye.
>Yeah, because that's totally gonna work.
>Stupid fucking horse.
>"You gonna fucking leave anytime soon?"
"Right after I finish wakin' up."
>"Well do it faster!"
"No."
>"Oh for Epona's sake, just take your shit and go to the bathroom already!"
"Aaaaaand why would I do that? What, you shy or something?"
>"More like I don't need your shifty ass staring my way!"
"Uhh, what?"
>"Just hurry the fuck up and--"
"Nononono, hold up. You think I'm gonna, what, stare at you?"
>"Wow, he got something right for once!"
"I don't remember humans having eye lasers."
>"But I sure remember you wanting to fuck ponies!"
>What.
>And just where'd she pull that one from?
>"Princess ponies, to be exact!"
>Okay, so she's trying to be funny now.
>Stop the presses, it's not working.
>"Don't think I didn't see you eyeing me up back at Canterlot, shitheel!"
>Oh nevermind, she's completely serious.
>Well, then.
"Okay, so you're fucking nuts. That's good to know."
>"Oh, please! Do I look like an idiot to you?"
"Yes?"
RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING
"Oh for fuck's sake!"
>"Twilight you fucking bitch!"
>"Iiiiiiit's six-fifteen~! Time to wake uuuuuup~!"
>And just as soon as the ungodly interruption happens again, the machines shut back off.
"Fine, Jesus," you snort, flipping the covers off and pivoting to sit on the bedside. "You know, your aunt's a fucking psycho."
>"Fucking tell me about it!"
"Takes one to know one, huh?"
>"Will you shut the fuck up and get moving already?!"
"Okay."
>All you do is stretch out, keeping an eye trained on your continually glaring roommate.
>It doesn't take very long for her to lose her shit again.
>"The fuck are you doing, you asshole?"
"Just seeing how long you're gonna stare at my chest, is all."
>She blinks, then immediately turns away from your shirtless body with a flustered snort.
>"Better looking than your fucking face, that's for sure!"
"Wow, and you thought I was planning on screwing you?"
>"Get out you fucking douche!"
"I'll take projection for 2000, Alex."
>"GET THE FUCK OUT!"
>Yeah okay whatever, you've had enough of her anyways.
>Into the bathroom you go.
>Immediately after the door shuts, you hear magic lighting up from behind it complete with brief bouts of screeching, before you hear hooves clopping along the floor nearby that end in the other bathroom door slamming shut.
>Wow, talk about fucking repressed.
>What's she gonna do next, sniff your fucking dirty laundry?
>Heh, bet that'd make for some good entertainment.
>Y'know, if you had a fucking phone to record it with!
>Oh whatever, just get a move on already Anon.
>God only knows what fucking Twilight will do if you miss her 7 o'clock time.
>She was nutty enough about timetabling when you came here with mom and dad.
>Surprisingly, the big square bath was a pretty bitching shower as well, having two hose shower heads to work with and a nice selection of shit to wash with.
>You could easily fit two, maybe three people in here.
>Y'know, if you were stupid or crazy enough.
>Whatever, more for you, you guess.
>>201503
>Seriously though, how is dad so fucking good at getting what he wants all the time?
>Forget mom, forget you, just look at the fucking senate floor!
>More like a fucking killing floor, at least whenever he steps onto it!
>Granted, it's not like those overglorified butthole surfers are particularly hard to argue with: you've held up pretty well against some of them before.
>Can't believe someone who unironically thinks fiat currency is superior to gold standard actually holds a seat there.
>Held a seat there.
>Heheheh.
>That was fun.
>But then there are the guys who aren't total dipshits, but still fucking wrong!
>How does he do it, man?
>Wait, why are you thinking about this?
>Because it's better than thinking about existing around that other cunt for the next few days, duh.
>Oh who are you kidding, it's gonna be a fucking week at this rate.
>Fucking cunt princess.
>Alicorns were a fucking mistake.
>Nightmare Moon wasn't a fucking alter-ego, that's who she is normally.
>You're not stupid enough to believe that 'good girl who dindu nuffin' shit.
>No scratch that, immortality was a fucking mistake.
>Yeah, you want someone with bad ideas to keep making bad decisions forever, what could go wrong with that?
>'Wisdom of the ages', fuck off.
>Wait, you're supposed to be out of here by seven.
>Okay, maybe you should actually finish up here.
>Stepping out of the shower, you go about towelling off, aided by the big mirror in the bathroom.
>Still lookin' good, Anon.
>Gotta admit, you hated having to drop some weight and make a few gains at first, because of course fucking dad just came along and was like 'Ho-ho-ho, fuck you just do what I say sonny Jim!'.
>That was until you realized it felt fucking great.
>If only the asshole made a better pitch for it.
>'Course, it wasn't all sunshine and beefcake.
>The thot brigade sure noticed your gains, too.
>Well, noticed it more than your position, anyways.
>God, they must be the dumbest motherfuckers in existence, thinking you're actually stupid enough to fall for their obvious schemes.
>'Sleep with prince, have his kid, shotgun wedding, gibs for life, cock carousel on the side,' every fucking time.
>Yeah, you actually paid attention to how Sombra's second attempt to take over everything was just left at the 'attempt' stage, thank you very much.
>Fucking kirins are clever sons of bitches like that.
>Totally unlike the brainless cocksleeves that try to--
>Aaaaaand you just realized you're literally sharing a room with one, only this one's not human.
>Yeah, now proceeding with dressing.
>Be just like a fucking pony politician, sleeping around with her enemies to get fucking gibs.
>As if the repressed 'hard to get' schtick wasn't the most obvious thing in the universe.
>Yeah, you're onto her shit.
>She'll get no bargaining chips from you into her, thank you very much.
>Walking out of the bathroom, and mercifully not encountering said thot in the process, you head on down towards the dining room where you see Twilight sitting with a paper while chatting with Spike and his bitch.
>"Good morning, Anon!" the purple alicorn chirps your way, setting her reading glasses aside. "Where's Flurry?"
"How should I know?"
>"Well isn't she getting ready?"
"Again, how should I know?"
>For all you knew, she could be jilling off in there.
>Wouldn't put it past her.
>For her part, Twilight gives an annoyed little hum before excusing herself and trotting off past you, presumably to interrogate her.
>Leaving you to take a seat at the table, filching a nearby paper.
>Let's see...
>'Changeling delegates to the--'
>Yeah, stopped reading right there.
>Like those prissy gay moose are capable of doing anything other than being a helpless Equestrian vassal state.
>Chrysalis did nothing wrong.
>"Nice seeing you again, Anon," that Spike guy calls from across the table.
"Yeah, you too."
>At least dragons are still pretty cool.
>Hell, they flat-out reject the idea of diplomacy altogether; they just do whatever the fuck they want, and nobody can stop 'em.
>There's a reason their borders change every time the maps update.
>"So, uhh..." Spike's girlfriend starts, "I don't think we've met before, uhh, Anon, was it?"
>Or is that 'marefriend' in ponyese?
>Whatever, don't remember, don't care.
"That's right," you idly reply, flipping to the next page of the paper.
>'Internal conflict in Yakyakistan continues for the third month in a row'
>Wow, yaks can't keep their government stable, who'da thunk it?
>"I'm Starlight Glimmer!"
"Okay."
>Next page, 'Dominion expansion for controversial "oil" continues'
>Yes, yes it does.
>"You, uhh, really like that newspaper, huh?"
"It's something to do."
>Next page, 'Dominion emperor Incognito hosting peace talks with Federation president Steel Wrench'
>Yeah, two week old news thanks to the press laws back home.
>Spoiler alert: they fell through.
>"Sooooooo how about those peace talks, huh?"
"They fell through."
>"H-huh? They did?"
"Ayup."
>Next page.
>"B-but how do you know that?"
"Dominion has two week delays on breaking news."
>"Two week delays?! But why?"
"Because news outlets care more about getting sensational hits than they do about actual reporting. No day-one scoops, no sensationalism, no fake news. Great system."
>And of course she'll ignore that the Federation only has one state-run news agency that literally censors everything unfavourable to the Federation, failed talks very much included.
>"No wait, hang on! That totally violates the ULN treaties on freedom of the press!"
>Oh nevermind, she brought up something even worse.
>Seriously though, how is dad so fucking good at getting what he wants all the time?
>Forget mom, forget you, just look at the fucking senate floor!
>More like a fucking killing floor, at least whenever he steps onto it!
>Granted, it's not like those overglorified butthole surfers are particularly hard to argue with: you've held up pretty well against some of them before.
>Can't believe someone who unironically thinks fiat currency is superior to gold standard actually holds a seat there.
>Held a seat there.
>Heheheh.
>That was fun.
>But then there are the guys who aren't total dipshits, but still fucking wrong!
>How does he do it, man?
>Wait, why are you thinking about this?
>Because it's better than thinking about existing around that other cunt for the next few days, duh.
>Oh who are you kidding, it's gonna be a fucking week at this rate.
>Fucking cunt princess.
>Alicorns were a fucking mistake.
>Nightmare Moon wasn't a fucking alter-ego, that's who she is normally.
>You're not stupid enough to believe that 'good girl who dindu nuffin' shit.
>No scratch that, immortality was a fucking mistake.
>Yeah, you want someone with bad ideas to keep making bad decisions forever, what could go wrong with that?
>'Wisdom of the ages', fuck off.
>Wait, you're supposed to be out of here by seven.
>Okay, maybe you should actually finish up here.
>Stepping out of the shower, you go about towelling off, aided by the big mirror in the bathroom.
>Still lookin' good, Anon.
>Gotta admit, you hated having to drop some weight and make a few gains at first, because of course fucking dad just came along and was like 'Ho-ho-ho, fuck you just do what I say sonny Jim!'.
>That was until you realized it felt fucking great.
>If only the asshole made a better pitch for it.
>'Course, it wasn't all sunshine and beefcake.
>The thot brigade sure noticed your gains, too.
>Well, noticed it more than your position, anyways.
>God, they must be the dumbest motherfuckers in existence, thinking you're actually stupid enough to fall for their obvious schemes.
>'Sleep with prince, have his kid, shotgun wedding, gibs for life, cock carousel on the side,' every fucking time.
>Yeah, you actually paid attention to how Sombra's second attempt to take over everything was just left at the 'attempt' stage, thank you very much.
>Fucking kirins are clever sons of bitches like that.
>Totally unlike the brainless cocksleeves that try to--
>Aaaaaand you just realized you're literally sharing a room with one, only this one's not human.
>Yeah, now proceeding with dressing.
>Be just like a fucking pony politician, sleeping around with her enemies to get fucking gibs.
>As if the repressed 'hard to get' schtick wasn't the most obvious thing in the universe.
>Yeah, you're onto her shit.
>She'll get no bargaining chips from you into her, thank you very much.
>Walking out of the bathroom, and mercifully not encountering said thot in the process, you head on down towards the dining room where you see Twilight sitting with a paper while chatting with Spike and his bitch.
>"Good morning, Anon!" the purple alicorn chirps your way, setting her reading glasses aside. "Where's Flurry?"
"How should I know?"
>"Well isn't she getting ready?"
"Again, how should I know?"
>For all you knew, she could be jilling off in there.
>Wouldn't put it past her.
>For her part, Twilight gives an annoyed little hum before excusing herself and trotting off past you, presumably to interrogate her.
>Leaving you to take a seat at the table, filching a nearby paper.
>Let's see...
>'Changeling delegates to the--'
>Yeah, stopped reading right there.
>Like those prissy gay moose are capable of doing anything other than being a helpless Equestrian vassal state.
>Chrysalis did nothing wrong.
>"Nice seeing you again, Anon," that Spike guy calls from across the table.
"Yeah, you too."
>At least dragons are still pretty cool.
>Hell, they flat-out reject the idea of diplomacy altogether; they just do whatever the fuck they want, and nobody can stop 'em.
>There's a reason their borders change every time the maps update.
>"So, uhh..." Spike's girlfriend starts, "I don't think we've met before, uhh, Anon, was it?"
>Or is that 'marefriend' in ponyese?
>Whatever, don't remember, don't care.
"That's right," you idly reply, flipping to the next page of the paper.
>'Internal conflict in Yakyakistan continues for the third month in a row'
>Wow, yaks can't keep their government stable, who'da thunk it?
>"I'm Starlight Glimmer!"
"Okay."
>Next page, 'Dominion expansion for controversial "oil" continues'
>Yes, yes it does.
>"You, uhh, really like that newspaper, huh?"
"It's something to do."
>Next page, 'Dominion emperor Incognito hosting peace talks with Federation president Steel Wrench'
>Yeah, two week old news thanks to the press laws back home.
>Spoiler alert: they fell through.
>"Sooooooo how about those peace talks, huh?"
"They fell through."
>"H-huh? They did?"
"Ayup."
>Next page.
>"B-but how do you know that?"
"Dominion has two week delays on breaking news."
>"Two week delays?! But why?"
"Because news outlets care more about getting sensational hits than they do about actual reporting. No day-one scoops, no sensationalism, no fake news. Great system."
>And of course she'll ignore that the Federation only has one state-run news agency that literally censors everything unfavourable to the Federation, failed talks very much included.
>"No wait, hang on! That totally violates the ULN treaties on freedom of the press!"
>Oh nevermind, she brought up something even worse.
>>201504
"Yeah, ULN treaties couldn't be more worthless if they were printed on used toilet paper."
>Well, you're glad you looked up from the paper to catch this, uh, Starlight character's surprised and dismayed look.
>"But the ULN--!"
"Is bureaucratic resource waste given flesh. Pretty sure my dad's thinking of just pulling outta the council altogether."
>"What?! B-but they're the ones keeping everynation from--"
"Stop you there. They don't do anything. Anything useful, anyways."
>"But what about all the outreach work they do to the developing nations of the world?"
"You mean the outreach work that Equestria does to those glorified dirt farmers."
>"Th-that is NOT what--!"
>"Yeah, Anon?" Spike interjects, an unamused look on his face. "Mind canning the attitude?"
>Sorry, the fuck did he say?
>Before you could squeeze your retort in, you heard the quickly approaching sounds of Twilight and the resident thot jabbering back and forth:
>"--you at least behave yourself, Flurry?"
>"Behave myself? Behave myself?! Have you seen the other guy?!"
>"Yes, he's right there."
>Oh great, you can already tell today's going to be a roller coaster ride of anguish and disappointment.
>"Ohh no, no no no no no! I am not sitting anywhere near--!"
>"Discussion over, Flurry. Sit."
>If you don't look at them, they can't harass you.
>The twat's pulling up a chair next to you.
>God fucking damn it.
>Just don't look at her.
>God damn it she's magicing a paper over.
>No.
>Ignore.
>"So!" Twilight chirps, "How about some breakfast, everycreature?"
>Your fist slams down onto the table with a loud CRASH, your present state of being immensely fucking triggered doing wonders to make you ignore a similar SLAM right beside you.
"Never say 'everycreature' again."
>"Never say 'everycreature' again."
>Holy fucking dicks how fucking anthropocentric do you have to fucking be to call everything that's not you a fucking creature.
>Even minotaurs don't do that, and they're the biggest dicks around.
>Fucking ponies and their stupid fucking overinflated sense of self-importance holy fucking shit.
>"Really?" Spike deadpans from across the table. "Are we really doing this again, Flurry?"
>"You think I want to do this, Spike?!" she nearly screeches back. "Like I don't have enough to--"
>"That's enough, Flurry." Twilight intones. "Anon, I'm sorry if I offended you."
"Just not sorry enough to not do it again, right?"
>"You're on the fast track to having no breakfast at all, mister."
>"Alright," Spike interrupts, "How about we all take a big, deep breath?"
>What they need to do is leave you the fuck alone--
>Wait, what are they doing?
>Oh good God, they're actually doing deep breathing?
>Even the cunt next to you?
>Ugh.
>Fine, whatever.
>Fucking pony herd mentality bullshit's gonna make this drag out for longer if you don't go along with it.
>Eyes shut.
>Through the nose.
>Out the mouth.
>Through the nose.
>Out the mouth.
>You stop when you hear them all stop.
>"Right!" Twilight chirps, though a bit more forced this time around, "How about some breakfast, everypony?"
>That's better.
"Sure thing."
>"Oh, yes please," your bitch of a neighbour groans.
>"Yes please," Spike asks.
>"Me four!" Starlight also asks.
>"I'll juuuust be a minute, everypony!" Twilight chirps before heading off.
>Thank fucking God.
>Back to the paper.
>'Opinion: Does kirinkind need regulations on cross-species reproduction?'
>Pfffffft.
>Sounds like the writer's jealous that the ponies got one-upped there.
>"Ugh, does this filly just not know when to stop?!" Starlight complains to Spike.
>"It's Equestria Daily, Starlight," he replies evenly. "They'll print anything these days."
>"Yeah, isn't that the truth?" the cunt beside you concurs.
>"But I can't believe she'd say such horrible things about the kirin!" Starlight cries.
>"She isn't wrong, you know."
>Guess even your neighbour can be right about something every once in a while.
>"Uh-oh," Spike groans, "Here we go again."
>Ooh, are you about to hear an argument go down?
>Oh please say there is.
>You could use some entertainment right about now.
>"Breakfast, everypony!" Twilight is heard calling, trotting in with a stack of plates in her magical grasp.
>Nevermind, the fun was over before it even started.
>Oh, well.
>A mountain of eggs and toast is on the menu today, and you'd be lying if you said it wasn't some delicious shit.
>Probably a big reason why the table fell silent, only adding to how nice the entire affair was.
>Guess that Twilight's not so bad after--
>No!
>Don't fucking--!
>"Alright, now how about we get to today's big activity?"
>Every time!
>Every fucking time, you keep tempting Murphy!
>Why, Anon?!
>"You remember what that is, you two?"
>Not in the slightest.
"Yeah, ULN treaties couldn't be more worthless if they were printed on used toilet paper."
>Well, you're glad you looked up from the paper to catch this, uh, Starlight character's surprised and dismayed look.
>"But the ULN--!"
"Is bureaucratic resource waste given flesh. Pretty sure my dad's thinking of just pulling outta the council altogether."
>"What?! B-but they're the ones keeping everynation from--"
"Stop you there. They don't do anything. Anything useful, anyways."
>"But what about all the outreach work they do to the developing nations of the world?"
"You mean the outreach work that Equestria does to those glorified dirt farmers."
>"Th-that is NOT what--!"
>"Yeah, Anon?" Spike interjects, an unamused look on his face. "Mind canning the attitude?"
>Sorry, the fuck did he say?
>Before you could squeeze your retort in, you heard the quickly approaching sounds of Twilight and the resident thot jabbering back and forth:
>"--you at least behave yourself, Flurry?"
>"Behave myself? Behave myself?! Have you seen the other guy?!"
>"Yes, he's right there."
>Oh great, you can already tell today's going to be a roller coaster ride of anguish and disappointment.
>"Ohh no, no no no no no! I am not sitting anywhere near--!"
>"Discussion over, Flurry. Sit."
>If you don't look at them, they can't harass you.
>The twat's pulling up a chair next to you.
>God fucking damn it.
>Just don't look at her.
>God damn it she's magicing a paper over.
>No.
>Ignore.
>"So!" Twilight chirps, "How about some breakfast, everycreature?"
>Your fist slams down onto the table with a loud CRASH, your present state of being immensely fucking triggered doing wonders to make you ignore a similar SLAM right beside you.
"Never say 'everycreature' again."
>"Never say 'everycreature' again."
>Holy fucking dicks how fucking anthropocentric do you have to fucking be to call everything that's not you a fucking creature.
>Even minotaurs don't do that, and they're the biggest dicks around.
>Fucking ponies and their stupid fucking overinflated sense of self-importance holy fucking shit.
>"Really?" Spike deadpans from across the table. "Are we really doing this again, Flurry?"
>"You think I want to do this, Spike?!" she nearly screeches back. "Like I don't have enough to--"
>"That's enough, Flurry." Twilight intones. "Anon, I'm sorry if I offended you."
"Just not sorry enough to not do it again, right?"
>"You're on the fast track to having no breakfast at all, mister."
>"Alright," Spike interrupts, "How about we all take a big, deep breath?"
>What they need to do is leave you the fuck alone--
>Wait, what are they doing?
>Oh good God, they're actually doing deep breathing?
>Even the cunt next to you?
>Ugh.
>Fine, whatever.
>Fucking pony herd mentality bullshit's gonna make this drag out for longer if you don't go along with it.
>Eyes shut.
>Through the nose.
>Out the mouth.
>Through the nose.
>Out the mouth.
>You stop when you hear them all stop.
>"Right!" Twilight chirps, though a bit more forced this time around, "How about some breakfast, everypony?"
>That's better.
"Sure thing."
>"Oh, yes please," your bitch of a neighbour groans.
>"Yes please," Spike asks.
>"Me four!" Starlight also asks.
>"I'll juuuust be a minute, everypony!" Twilight chirps before heading off.
>Thank fucking God.
>Back to the paper.
>'Opinion: Does kirinkind need regulations on cross-species reproduction?'
>Pfffffft.
>Sounds like the writer's jealous that the ponies got one-upped there.
>"Ugh, does this filly just not know when to stop?!" Starlight complains to Spike.
>"It's Equestria Daily, Starlight," he replies evenly. "They'll print anything these days."
>"Yeah, isn't that the truth?" the cunt beside you concurs.
>"But I can't believe she'd say such horrible things about the kirin!" Starlight cries.
>"She isn't wrong, you know."
>Guess even your neighbour can be right about something every once in a while.
>"Uh-oh," Spike groans, "Here we go again."
>Ooh, are you about to hear an argument go down?
>Oh please say there is.
>You could use some entertainment right about now.
>"Breakfast, everypony!" Twilight is heard calling, trotting in with a stack of plates in her magical grasp.
>Nevermind, the fun was over before it even started.
>Oh, well.
>A mountain of eggs and toast is on the menu today, and you'd be lying if you said it wasn't some delicious shit.
>Probably a big reason why the table fell silent, only adding to how nice the entire affair was.
>Guess that Twilight's not so bad after--
>No!
>Don't fucking--!
>"Alright, now how about we get to today's big activity?"
>Every time!
>Every fucking time, you keep tempting Murphy!
>Why, Anon?!
>"You remember what that is, you two?"
>Not in the slightest.
File (): 5F1F9B55A99DB0662442FFA675B6B36B-913322.png (891.9 KB, 2512x1491, 1542862298662.png)
>>201505
The rumours of my death have been greatly exaggerated. In my defense, it's very difficult to do anything creative when you're sick and busy for so long.
I actually had more written out, but I wound up scrapping it because I wasn't a fan of the "activity" I left this segment off of. And to be honest, I'm drawing a blank as to what our not-quite-OTP-yet pair's activity should be. So! I'm gonna summon forth a bit of that fillyfag CYOA mojo and pitch the question to you lovely faggots.
What should the Twiggles-approved, Twiggles-supervised "group activity" be? Liberties will be taken with extreme prejudice.
Hard mode: I still have no good title ideas for this story, even after all this time. Any ideas? The fate of the future Pastebin rides on this one!
The rumours of my death have been greatly exaggerated. In my defense, it's very difficult to do anything creative when you're sick and busy for so long.
I actually had more written out, but I wound up scrapping it because I wasn't a fan of the "activity" I left this segment off of. And to be honest, I'm drawing a blank as to what our not-quite-OTP-yet pair's activity should be. So! I'm gonna summon forth a bit of that fillyfag CYOA mojo and pitch the question to you lovely faggots.
What should the Twiggles-approved, Twiggles-supervised "group activity" be? Liberties will be taken with extreme prejudice.
Hard mode: I still have no good title ideas for this story, even after all this time. Any ideas? The fate of the future Pastebin rides on this one!
>>201506
let's have her go full fucking autism and do some icebreakers or some similar shit
[1d100 = 51]
just in case
let's have her go full fucking autism and do some icebreakers or some similar shit
[1d100 = 51]
just in case
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File (): FAD97813B31FC11C0DE56FF1A1DCF595-3054402.png (2.9 MB, 2196x2834, 1947897.png)
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File (): D35040A8A338A00B450A87F63D84026D-641006.jpg (626.0 KB, 2644x4764, 1947620.jpg)
>>201506
I have no idea what exactly the activity should be, but it definitely should be something childish and/or completely out-of-touch with the people involved.
Insert filly CYOA autism dice here >>>> [1d100 = 10]
I have no idea what exactly the activity should be, but it definitely should be something childish and/or completely out-of-touch with the people involved.
Insert filly CYOA autism dice here >>>> [1d100 = 10]
>>201503
>what did you do to deserve this a fucking gulag is preferable to this hell!
This is what they deserve for being so rude to Ponk.
>what did you do to deserve this a fucking gulag is preferable to this hell!
This is what they deserve for being so rude to Ponk.
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>>201854
It's nice to see some of mkogwheel's stuff.
>the zigger's crotchtits have a watermelon-striped pattern
I kek'd.
It's nice to see some of mkogwheel's stuff.
>the zigger's crotchtits have a watermelon-striped pattern
I kek'd.
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File (): 32C0AA338A91AE93851094D4E7E0F396-1277523.png (1.2 MB, 2100x2970, 1950581__explicit_artist-colon-mkogwheel_cherry berry_angry_biplane_comic_crotchboobs_exhibitionism_improvised sex toy_manehattan_nudity_.png)
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>>202311
>Worried about your sexual fantasies
You should really be alarmed for even having that kind of thought.
>Worried about your sexual fantasies
You should really be alarmed for even having that kind of thought.
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Bump: Raggie Edition
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>>201506
>What should the Twiggles-approved, Twiggles-supervised "group activity" be?
I have several suggestions. The first one is that since they had a fight, Twilight would have them apologize to each other and resolve their conflict.
The second could be a sport or a game of some sort where they have to work together. They end up in the same team. One such game could be an rpg-game that Spike has, which is based on the "Power Ponies" series. Anon and Flurry could be the "heroes" and Twilight and Glimmer could be the "villains". But maybe, that's what Twilight intended but instead, they act more like villains than she and Glimmer do in the game. You could choose between including Discord and his powers or not. Spike would be GM of course unless Discord is.
The third idea is to have them walk an open-air-quiz in Ponyville to familiarize Anon with the place. Its other purpose is to have the two of them work together and to make them more knowledgeable about each respective culture. Have every other question be about Equestria and next about the Dominion of Man.
The fourth is to have them visit Twilight's friends since they have a "Friendship problem". Just imagine them being alone with Fluttershy. Oh, poor Fluttershy.
Also, here's some disturbingly sick lewds for your viewing pleasure.
>What should the Twiggles-approved, Twiggles-supervised "group activity" be?
I have several suggestions. The first one is that since they had a fight, Twilight would have them apologize to each other and resolve their conflict.
The second could be a sport or a game of some sort where they have to work together. They end up in the same team. One such game could be an rpg-game that Spike has, which is based on the "Power Ponies" series. Anon and Flurry could be the "heroes" and Twilight and Glimmer could be the "villains". But maybe, that's what Twilight intended but instead, they act more like villains than she and Glimmer do in the game. You could choose between including Discord and his powers or not. Spike would be GM of course unless Discord is.
The third idea is to have them walk an open-air-quiz in Ponyville to familiarize Anon with the place. Its other purpose is to have the two of them work together and to make them more knowledgeable about each respective culture. Have every other question be about Equestria and next about the Dominion of Man.
The fourth is to have them visit Twilight's friends since they have a "Friendship problem". Just imagine them being alone with Fluttershy. Oh, poor Fluttershy.
Also, here's some disturbingly sick lewds for your viewing pleasure.
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Might have been delayed due to illness, but the bump always comes eventually.
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>>204635
Describes the last month for me pretty well.
Anyways, how about a legendary Flash as a bump today?
Describes the last month for me pretty well.
Anyways, how about a legendary Flash as a bump today?
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>>201505
>"I wish I didn't remember what it was," your cellmate groans.
>"Ohh don't be silly, Flurry!" Twilight chirps. "You always loved going on those hikes!"
>Wait, hikes?
>"Yeah, when it was just the two of us!"
>"Three of us," Spike corrects.
>"Oh whatever!"
>"Well now it's going to be all five of us!" Twilight says, her previously forced smile now quite genuine.
>"Uuuuuuuugh," the neighboring cunt groans, burying her head in her forelegs. "Why?!"
"Wait just a second. What's this about a hike?"
>You already hate where this is going.
>"Anon, weren't you listening to my plans for the next few days?"
"Not even peripherally."
>You don't care if you're gonna pay for that remark later; seeing her scrunch out of annoyance was totally worth it.
>"Wow," Starlight comments, "Aren't you a ray of sunshine?"
"Who asked you?"
>"Ahem," Twilight interjects before Starlight can, "We're going on a hiking trip into the mountains behind the castle, Anon."
"Oh, okay."
>"Now, if you'd been listening, you'd know about the route we'll be taking, what we'll be bringing for lunch, and how long we'll be out there."
"And these are important details for me to know why, exactly?"
>Princess Cuntsalot snorts under the cover of her forelegs.
>WHAP
"Gah, what the--?!"
>Did Twilight just swat you upside the head with a rolled up newspaper?
>Y'know, you could make a case for declaring war here!
>"And for that, you get to carry the water."
>Hatred for the purple one beginning to eclipse your like of her.
>"Now, you two head back to your room to get changed, we'll be leaving in twenty minutes."
>What is it with fucking women and their short notice bullshit?
>"I'm not going," the twat mumbles.
>"Oh yes you are," Twilight fires back.
>Okay yeah, you're gonna abandon ship and get the changing business out of the way before anything else happens.
>And to that effect, you sit up and turn back towards the--
>"Anon, you haven't excused yourself yet."
"And I don't care to."
>"In my house, you will excuse yourself before leaving the table."
"That's nice."
>"So you'll be okay carrying the food too, then?"
>Knew that was coming, but you doubt she'll know this was coming.
"Sure, piece of cake."
>"I thought so-- Wait, wha--?"
"See you in twenty."
>And off you go, keikaku executed.
>Joke's on her, you already hike with heavy loads.
>Intentionally useless heavy loads.
>Well, more like dad makes you hike with stupidly heavy loads along with him, whenever he drags you out to hike with him.
>Which is almost every other fucking day.
>Fucking hate hiking with him, but hey, gains are gains.
>Finally arriving at your prison room, you waste no time in slipping out of your current attire.
>The door chooses that moment to open, and the grumbling gave the intruder away as your cellmate long before you saw her come in herself.
>Her eyes bug out slightly at seeing you half naked, who'd have fucking guessed.
>She looks away quickly with a snort, running to her side of the room to get her shit together.
>Yeah, you hadn't realized it at the time, but she wasn't wearing anything when she ate this morning.
>No fucking clue why she even bothers wearing clothes at all, given how she's a fucking pony, but hey, you're more than happy to chalk that one up to another facet of her being fucking crazy.
>Whatever, she can wear whatever stupid bullshit she wants.
>You meanwhile have hiking shit to slip on.
>The mountains here are comically short and gently curved, and the snow tops are almost certainly that artificial pegasus nonsense, which'll also rule out any rain issues.
>You'll go with a modestly warm setup.
>All-wool base layer, all-wool mid layer, your nice nylon jacket, and your awesome boots.
>Should've guessed mom would have packed all that in your ride to Canterlot.
>Part pack mule, part "planning for dad's random bullshit".
>And boy was this some random bullshit.
>Still, you had time to squeeze in some much needed stretches.
>Now, you'd better get out of here before princess child support over there decides to jump you--
>Oh great, she just had to leave at the same time as you.
>All she's got are saddlebags, and from the sounds her steps were making, actual horseshoes.
>Huh, didn't think she had the guts.
>Well, whatever.
>Just ignore her.
>It takes a few moments of glaring for that to happen though, but once it does, you're only happy to find your way back down to wherever the merry fuck Twilight was at.
>Sure enough, there she was at the entrance hall, with loaded saddlebags of her own.
>That Starlight broad was there too with her own bags, cozied up to Spike--
>Aaaaaaand what the fuck is Spike doing.
>Is he seriously going to hike with a fucking denim jacket on?
>Wow okay, that's respect lost right fucking there.
>What kind of fucking idiot hikes in anything cotton?
>Oh whatever, you can already see the water and food all stuffed into and hanging off of a backpack.
>Without any prompting, you beeline right for that.
>"Okay," Twilight calls out, "You're all here! Ready?"
>"No," your cellmate snorts.
>"Okay, and what about you, Anon?" she says with a smug little tinge to her voice. "It's not too late to just say that you're sorr--"
>Whatever smug look she had evaporated when she saw you almost effortlessly throw the pack on.
"So, where're we headed again?"
>Totally worth it.
>Fuck, this doesn't even touch the 'bag of potatoes' bullshit that dad loves to pull.
>It's like, two-thirds a bag at the very most.
>Besides, looks like she only packed picnic shit for food, so it's not much extra on top of the water.
>"To the mountains," Twilight grumbles. "Is everypony ready?"
>So, so totally worth it.
>Everyone checks in with the notable exception of the cunt princess, what a fucking shocker.
>Pwetty pony pwincess doeswnt wike to go owtside.
>Whatever, fuck her.
>You could use the fucking cardio, anything to get your mind off this bullshit.
>...
>"I wish I didn't remember what it was," your cellmate groans.
>"Ohh don't be silly, Flurry!" Twilight chirps. "You always loved going on those hikes!"
>Wait, hikes?
>"Yeah, when it was just the two of us!"
>"Three of us," Spike corrects.
>"Oh whatever!"
>"Well now it's going to be all five of us!" Twilight says, her previously forced smile now quite genuine.
>"Uuuuuuuugh," the neighboring cunt groans, burying her head in her forelegs. "Why?!"
"Wait just a second. What's this about a hike?"
>You already hate where this is going.
>"Anon, weren't you listening to my plans for the next few days?"
"Not even peripherally."
>You don't care if you're gonna pay for that remark later; seeing her scrunch out of annoyance was totally worth it.
>"Wow," Starlight comments, "Aren't you a ray of sunshine?"
"Who asked you?"
>"Ahem," Twilight interjects before Starlight can, "We're going on a hiking trip into the mountains behind the castle, Anon."
"Oh, okay."
>"Now, if you'd been listening, you'd know about the route we'll be taking, what we'll be bringing for lunch, and how long we'll be out there."
"And these are important details for me to know why, exactly?"
>Princess Cuntsalot snorts under the cover of her forelegs.
>WHAP
"Gah, what the--?!"
>Did Twilight just swat you upside the head with a rolled up newspaper?
>Y'know, you could make a case for declaring war here!
>"And for that, you get to carry the water."
>Hatred for the purple one beginning to eclipse your like of her.
>"Now, you two head back to your room to get changed, we'll be leaving in twenty minutes."
>What is it with fucking women and their short notice bullshit?
>"I'm not going," the twat mumbles.
>"Oh yes you are," Twilight fires back.
>Okay yeah, you're gonna abandon ship and get the changing business out of the way before anything else happens.
>And to that effect, you sit up and turn back towards the--
>"Anon, you haven't excused yourself yet."
"And I don't care to."
>"In my house, you will excuse yourself before leaving the table."
"That's nice."
>"So you'll be okay carrying the food too, then?"
>Knew that was coming, but you doubt she'll know this was coming.
"Sure, piece of cake."
>"I thought so-- Wait, wha--?"
"See you in twenty."
>And off you go, keikaku executed.
>Joke's on her, you already hike with heavy loads.
>Intentionally useless heavy loads.
>Well, more like dad makes you hike with stupidly heavy loads along with him, whenever he drags you out to hike with him.
>Which is almost every other fucking day.
>Fucking hate hiking with him, but hey, gains are gains.
>Finally arriving at your prison room, you waste no time in slipping out of your current attire.
>The door chooses that moment to open, and the grumbling gave the intruder away as your cellmate long before you saw her come in herself.
>Her eyes bug out slightly at seeing you half naked, who'd have fucking guessed.
>She looks away quickly with a snort, running to her side of the room to get her shit together.
>Yeah, you hadn't realized it at the time, but she wasn't wearing anything when she ate this morning.
>No fucking clue why she even bothers wearing clothes at all, given how she's a fucking pony, but hey, you're more than happy to chalk that one up to another facet of her being fucking crazy.
>Whatever, she can wear whatever stupid bullshit she wants.
>You meanwhile have hiking shit to slip on.
>The mountains here are comically short and gently curved, and the snow tops are almost certainly that artificial pegasus nonsense, which'll also rule out any rain issues.
>You'll go with a modestly warm setup.
>All-wool base layer, all-wool mid layer, your nice nylon jacket, and your awesome boots.
>Should've guessed mom would have packed all that in your ride to Canterlot.
>Part pack mule, part "planning for dad's random bullshit".
>And boy was this some random bullshit.
>Still, you had time to squeeze in some much needed stretches.
>Now, you'd better get out of here before princess child support over there decides to jump you--
>Oh great, she just had to leave at the same time as you.
>All she's got are saddlebags, and from the sounds her steps were making, actual horseshoes.
>Huh, didn't think she had the guts.
>Well, whatever.
>Just ignore her.
>It takes a few moments of glaring for that to happen though, but once it does, you're only happy to find your way back down to wherever the merry fuck Twilight was at.
>Sure enough, there she was at the entrance hall, with loaded saddlebags of her own.
>That Starlight broad was there too with her own bags, cozied up to Spike--
>Aaaaaaand what the fuck is Spike doing.
>Is he seriously going to hike with a fucking denim jacket on?
>Wow okay, that's respect lost right fucking there.
>What kind of fucking idiot hikes in anything cotton?
>Oh whatever, you can already see the water and food all stuffed into and hanging off of a backpack.
>Without any prompting, you beeline right for that.
>"Okay," Twilight calls out, "You're all here! Ready?"
>"No," your cellmate snorts.
>"Okay, and what about you, Anon?" she says with a smug little tinge to her voice. "It's not too late to just say that you're sorr--"
>Whatever smug look she had evaporated when she saw you almost effortlessly throw the pack on.
"So, where're we headed again?"
>Totally worth it.
>Fuck, this doesn't even touch the 'bag of potatoes' bullshit that dad loves to pull.
>It's like, two-thirds a bag at the very most.
>Besides, looks like she only packed picnic shit for food, so it's not much extra on top of the water.
>"To the mountains," Twilight grumbles. "Is everypony ready?"
>So, so totally worth it.
>Everyone checks in with the notable exception of the cunt princess, what a fucking shocker.
>Pwetty pony pwincess doeswnt wike to go owtside.
>Whatever, fuck her.
>You could use the fucking cardio, anything to get your mind off this bullshit.
>...
>>205689
>"You know," Spike says off to the side, "It wouldn't kill you to try and be nice."
"Must've missed the part where they deserve me being nice to them."
>"You're going to make this hard on everypony until the bitter end, aren't you?"
"Better believe it."
>"Seriously, what's your problem?"
"Ask my cellmate."
>Spike gets all fed up talking to you and leaves, headed back to the little campsite.
>About fucking time he fucked off and left you the fuck alone under your tree.
>This 'hike' man, Jesus.
>You knew the mountains were all gently curved and shit, but you didn't expect Twilight to just take you all up a clearly marked path up the mountain with the least possible curvature.
>The best part?
>She and the other attending ponies actually got a little winded at the end there!
>Meanwhile you lug around the bulk of the weight and barely break a goddamn sweat!
>How are you supposed to get any kind of workout with that kind of shitty anemic 'exercise'?
>Clearing your mind, your ass!
>So here you sit, under a fucking tree with a semi-decent view, trying to get some goddamn peace and quiet--
>"Anon!" Twilight calls, "Time to eat!"
>Can you make her death up here look like an accident?
>Actually no, the resident cunt princess deserves an 'accident' more than she does.
>Ugh.
>With a great mighty sigh you push yourself up, and make your way back to the tiny little campsite.
>They've literally just laid out a picnic, without even a single campfire.
>Seriously, what fucking casual packs picnics for a hike?
>At least dad has the good sense to bring raw food, a hatchet, and a proper fucking cast iron pot for real stew.
>Even made the potato bag business less of a meme at the end there.
>Oh wait, you forgot.
>Ponies and meat.
>"All right, have a seat!"
>Everyone's present and accounted for, though princess twatsalot there looks even fouler than usual.
>Must've been caught screwing a tree branch or something.
>Or a squirrel.
>Actually yeah, your money's on squirrel.
>Whatever.
>You sit down and start devouring your meal, just like everyone else in attendance.
>You think this thing in the sandwich is supposed to be some kind of ham, but obviously prepared by someone who doesn't eat any kind of meat.
>It's bad enough that you have to stop and peel it out before finishing it off, something that aggravates that Starlight character over there for some reason.
>"Seriously?" she grumbles.
>"Don't," Spike consoles with a shoulder rub. "Just let it be, Starlight."
"You got something to say?"
>"Now, now," Twilight starts, "Let's just--"
>"No, you know what, I do have something to say!" Starlight yells.
"I'm waiting."
>"What in the world is your problem?!"
"Problems."
>"I-- What?"
"Problems. Plural. You want the full list?"
>Your cellmate snorts a little.
>"Don't change the subject!"
"I corrected your question. Nowhere did I change the subject."
>Something tells you this isn't the first time her eye's twitched like that.
>"I think she's trying to say that you have an attitude problem," Spike answers for her.
>"Yeah!"
"Tell me you didn't just figure that out."
>Now your cellmate snickered for a moment.
>"Ohmygosh, why?! Spike and Twilight said you were pretty cool! I was looking forward to meeting you! And this is what I get?!"
"Yeah, except I actually wanted to be here when I last saw them. I don't right now."
>"You don't want to-- then why are you here?!"
"Because I--"
>Wait, what?
>No.
>No, please say she was told--
>"You didn't tell her," your cellmate deadpans at a now nervous Twilight.
>"Tell me what?"
>"That the dumb monkey's here because of my mom."
>"Because of--?"
"God, again with the monkey thing?"
>"Oh I'm sorry, did I hurt your feefees?"
"Nah, but God damn does your originality hurt my brain. How do you do it?"
>"Really, you're back to the originality thing? Awful unoriginal of you!"
"I like how you didn't actually answer my question there. Very smooth."
>"That was a question? Wow, could've fooled me!"
>"That's enough!" Twilight yells.
>Aw shit, her again.
"She started it!"
>"He started it!"
>"I don't care who started it, I'm going to finish it!"
"Hey, get off my case! Not my fault this 'hike' sucks!"
>"What did you say?"
"I said, this leisure stroll sucks! Where's the steep trails? Where's the bad weather? Where's the campfire cookouts? Where's the actual heavy weight to carry along everywhere you go?"
>"Anon," Twilight intones, "Watch your tone."
"Oh come off it, mom. Your 'punishment' coming up here was terrible, and you tried to kill me with the goddamn mystery meat in my damn sandwich! On that note, who the hell packs picnics for hikes?"
>"I don't think your father will like hearing about what you just said."
"Goddamn right he won't like it! He's not gonna stand for this affront to the art of hiking!"
>She narrows her eyes, like that's supposed to mean something.
"Seriously, what's with the mystery meat anyways?"
>"Oh quit your crying," the nearby twat chortles. "Even she can't mess ham up."
>"Flurry!" Starlight cries.
"Oh, this is supposed to be ham? Could've fooled me!"
>"Pretty easy to fool a big baby like you, princey."
>If there is a God, he'll let you get away with punching her.
"You wanna try it, princess?"
>She won't do it.
>"Sure," she smirks, floating an untouched piece over.
>She took a bite.
>She did it.
>And just like that, her eyes bugged out, her face scrunched up, and she spat the thing out.
>"Aaaaaughmygosh, what the hell is that?!"
>You blink.
>Holy shit, she actually did it?
>"Starlight, what the hell is this supposed to be?"
>"It's ham!"
>"My flank, that's ham! I'm supposed to be poisoning him, not you!"
>"You know," Spike says off to the side, "It wouldn't kill you to try and be nice."
"Must've missed the part where they deserve me being nice to them."
>"You're going to make this hard on everypony until the bitter end, aren't you?"
"Better believe it."
>"Seriously, what's your problem?"
"Ask my cellmate."
>Spike gets all fed up talking to you and leaves, headed back to the little campsite.
>About fucking time he fucked off and left you the fuck alone under your tree.
>This 'hike' man, Jesus.
>You knew the mountains were all gently curved and shit, but you didn't expect Twilight to just take you all up a clearly marked path up the mountain with the least possible curvature.
>The best part?
>She and the other attending ponies actually got a little winded at the end there!
>Meanwhile you lug around the bulk of the weight and barely break a goddamn sweat!
>How are you supposed to get any kind of workout with that kind of shitty anemic 'exercise'?
>Clearing your mind, your ass!
>So here you sit, under a fucking tree with a semi-decent view, trying to get some goddamn peace and quiet--
>"Anon!" Twilight calls, "Time to eat!"
>Can you make her death up here look like an accident?
>Actually no, the resident cunt princess deserves an 'accident' more than she does.
>Ugh.
>With a great mighty sigh you push yourself up, and make your way back to the tiny little campsite.
>They've literally just laid out a picnic, without even a single campfire.
>Seriously, what fucking casual packs picnics for a hike?
>At least dad has the good sense to bring raw food, a hatchet, and a proper fucking cast iron pot for real stew.
>Even made the potato bag business less of a meme at the end there.
>Oh wait, you forgot.
>Ponies and meat.
>"All right, have a seat!"
>Everyone's present and accounted for, though princess twatsalot there looks even fouler than usual.
>Must've been caught screwing a tree branch or something.
>Or a squirrel.
>Actually yeah, your money's on squirrel.
>Whatever.
>You sit down and start devouring your meal, just like everyone else in attendance.
>You think this thing in the sandwich is supposed to be some kind of ham, but obviously prepared by someone who doesn't eat any kind of meat.
>It's bad enough that you have to stop and peel it out before finishing it off, something that aggravates that Starlight character over there for some reason.
>"Seriously?" she grumbles.
>"Don't," Spike consoles with a shoulder rub. "Just let it be, Starlight."
"You got something to say?"
>"Now, now," Twilight starts, "Let's just--"
>"No, you know what, I do have something to say!" Starlight yells.
"I'm waiting."
>"What in the world is your problem?!"
"Problems."
>"I-- What?"
"Problems. Plural. You want the full list?"
>Your cellmate snorts a little.
>"Don't change the subject!"
"I corrected your question. Nowhere did I change the subject."
>Something tells you this isn't the first time her eye's twitched like that.
>"I think she's trying to say that you have an attitude problem," Spike answers for her.
>"Yeah!"
"Tell me you didn't just figure that out."
>Now your cellmate snickered for a moment.
>"Ohmygosh, why?! Spike and Twilight said you were pretty cool! I was looking forward to meeting you! And this is what I get?!"
"Yeah, except I actually wanted to be here when I last saw them. I don't right now."
>"You don't want to-- then why are you here?!"
"Because I--"
>Wait, what?
>No.
>No, please say she was told--
>"You didn't tell her," your cellmate deadpans at a now nervous Twilight.
>"Tell me what?"
>"That the dumb monkey's here because of my mom."
>"Because of--?"
"God, again with the monkey thing?"
>"Oh I'm sorry, did I hurt your feefees?"
"Nah, but God damn does your originality hurt my brain. How do you do it?"
>"Really, you're back to the originality thing? Awful unoriginal of you!"
"I like how you didn't actually answer my question there. Very smooth."
>"That was a question? Wow, could've fooled me!"
>"That's enough!" Twilight yells.
>Aw shit, her again.
"She started it!"
>"He started it!"
>"I don't care who started it, I'm going to finish it!"
"Hey, get off my case! Not my fault this 'hike' sucks!"
>"What did you say?"
"I said, this leisure stroll sucks! Where's the steep trails? Where's the bad weather? Where's the campfire cookouts? Where's the actual heavy weight to carry along everywhere you go?"
>"Anon," Twilight intones, "Watch your tone."
"Oh come off it, mom. Your 'punishment' coming up here was terrible, and you tried to kill me with the goddamn mystery meat in my damn sandwich! On that note, who the hell packs picnics for hikes?"
>"I don't think your father will like hearing about what you just said."
"Goddamn right he won't like it! He's not gonna stand for this affront to the art of hiking!"
>She narrows her eyes, like that's supposed to mean something.
"Seriously, what's with the mystery meat anyways?"
>"Oh quit your crying," the nearby twat chortles. "Even she can't mess ham up."
>"Flurry!" Starlight cries.
"Oh, this is supposed to be ham? Could've fooled me!"
>"Pretty easy to fool a big baby like you, princey."
>If there is a God, he'll let you get away with punching her.
"You wanna try it, princess?"
>She won't do it.
>"Sure," she smirks, floating an untouched piece over.
>She took a bite.
>She did it.
>And just like that, her eyes bugged out, her face scrunched up, and she spat the thing out.
>"Aaaaaughmygosh, what the hell is that?!"
>You blink.
>Holy shit, she actually did it?
>"Starlight, what the hell is this supposed to be?"
>"It's ham!"
>"My flank, that's ham! I'm supposed to be poisoning him, not you!"
>>205690
>"Okay," Twilight bellows, horn crackling, "That is enough!"
>Oh God what is she doing now--
>POOF
>After a brief flash of everything tasting purple for a second, you find yourself inside some kind of small room with the purple horse herself.
>Boy does she look pissed off.
>"You two have just earned a night in time out! And you can forget all about dinner!"
>And with another POOF, she vanishes.
>Ahh, alone at last...
>Finally.
>See, this was all that you wanted.
>Now where the hell is this slice of heaven, anyways?
>Well, it's definitely not the library anymore, but some kind of little room with a bright gemstone chandelier overhead, a coffee table with a pair of couches flanking it, and a loudly tick-tocking grandfather clock.
>Oh, and there's no doors or windows.
>Wait.
>There's no doors or windows.
>What.
>"Twilight you bitch," an all-too-familiar voice shrieks, "Let me out of here!"
>Double what.
"Oh, you're shitting me."
>She's too busy banging on the walls to reply.
>No, that's bullshit.
>Start looking, Anon.
>There can't not be a fucking exit.
>She did not just dump you in a fucking room with no hope of exit.
>Much less with the very last person you want to be doing fucking solitary with.
>No fuck her, keep hunting.
>Her horn lights up real bright and she squints with effort until she POOFS out of existence with a teleport.
>Only to immediately return to where she was before after the walls flashed.
>"Twiliiiiiiight!" she bellows.
"Okay where the fuck is the way out of here?"
>"There is no way out, you fucking asshole!"
"Bullshit, there's no way out!"
>"Are you fucking deaf? I just said there's no way out! Welcome to 'time out', asshole!"
"This is 'time-out'?! On what fucking planet?"
>"Twilight you bitch, get him out! Get me out!"
"No seriously, where's the damn exit?"
>"There isn't one you fucking idiot! You think I haven't looked?!"
"Oh for fuck's sake."
>"Aaaaaagh, this is all your fault!"
"Wh-- my fault?!"
>"Yes, your fault! You had to fucking bring that stupid poison up!"
"Are you fucking high? All I did was point it out! You're the one who decided to eat it!"
>"I wouldn't have had to eat it if you weren't such a fucking crybaby bitch about it!"
"Oh look at you, passing the blame around! Very fucking Equestrian of you!"
>"Wow, the human brings pain and suffering to everything he's around, who'da fucking thunk it?!"
"You wanna fucking go?"
>"We both know how that went last time, shithead!"
"With you eating my fucking fists? How could I ever forget?"
>"I'll kick your fucking ass!"
>Cries of battle are loosed as you barrel towards the bitch of the millenium, limbs drawn back to punch at--
>ZWING
>Tiny little purple magic shields spring up out of nowhere, stopping both of you from actually landing your blows by about an inch.
"The fuck are you doing now, cheating again?"
>"I didn't do this, you asshole! Who-- Ohh, Twilight, you can't be serious!"
>Another attempt at a punch is thrown at her desperately deserving face, only to get bounced off by a tiny shield again.
"I can't even fucking hit you?"
>Yeah no, Twilight has to be fucking evil.
>What sick, sadistic fuck comes up with a 'time-out' room that does shit like this?
>Never have you been more confused about anyone before, let alone a fucking pony.
>Try as you might, you can't actually land any hits on the testy fucking thot before you, quickly leaving you with only one option:
"Fuck."
>Well, that's that avenue of retaliation out of reach.
>She, however, doesn't get the memo, punching away over and over again.
>"You motherfucker! I'm not through with you!"
>Y'know, there's something kinda funny about watching her lash out at you in vain like this.
>Doesn't change how pissed you are, but it's there.
>You decide to just sprawl back on one of the couches, and once she has her fill of trying to deck you, she flops onto the other couch herself.
>"I fucking hate you."
"Right back at you."
>"You're a fucking asshole."
"You're a psychotic bitch."
>"And things were going so fucking well this afternoon, too!"
"You have a real talent for ruining good things, you know."
>"Look who's fucking talking! I was actually having some fun today until you fucked it!"
"Oh don't fucking kid yourself, it wasn't fun in the first place."
>"Yeah, because you came along and fucked it all up! Case in point!"
"And how was I supposed to know that your aunt was such a thin skinned fucking pussy?"
>"That's Starlight, shit-for-brains! One of her friends? Y'know, one you just shit on? She's not the princess of friendship for nothing!"
"Those two are friends? I thought she was some squirrely hooker that Spike picked up!"
>"No, that would actually make sense! Seriously, how did you miss those two being big friends again?"
"Oh I'm sorry, I'm just not as fucking psychic as you'd expected. Please forgive me, 'O feminine one!"
>"Feminine, really? That's the first thing that came to mind?"
"Am I wrong? You fucking women and your bullshit mind games! Sorry that not all of us are as fucking psychic as you are!"
>"Oh, give me a fucking break! If I were fucking psychic, I'd be telling you that you've still got no fucking chance with me!"
"Wait, the fuck do you mean with 'no fucking chance'? Chance for what, kicking your teeth in?"
>"Oh dear fucking Epona, stallions are so fucking stupid! No, dipshit, I mean with you wanting me!"
"Wanting you? The fuck does that even--"
>Oh.
>Wait, seriously?
"Ohh."
>"Yeah, that! Wow, you actually figured something out for once, who'da thunk it?!"
"Yeah, I sure figured it out all right! Figured out that you're still fucking crazy!"
>"Okay," Twilight bellows, horn crackling, "That is enough!"
>Oh God what is she doing now--
>POOF
>After a brief flash of everything tasting purple for a second, you find yourself inside some kind of small room with the purple horse herself.
>Boy does she look pissed off.
>"You two have just earned a night in time out! And you can forget all about dinner!"
>And with another POOF, she vanishes.
>Ahh, alone at last...
>Finally.
>See, this was all that you wanted.
>Now where the hell is this slice of heaven, anyways?
>Well, it's definitely not the library anymore, but some kind of little room with a bright gemstone chandelier overhead, a coffee table with a pair of couches flanking it, and a loudly tick-tocking grandfather clock.
>Oh, and there's no doors or windows.
>Wait.
>There's no doors or windows.
>What.
>"Twilight you bitch," an all-too-familiar voice shrieks, "Let me out of here!"
>Double what.
"Oh, you're shitting me."
>She's too busy banging on the walls to reply.
>No, that's bullshit.
>Start looking, Anon.
>There can't not be a fucking exit.
>She did not just dump you in a fucking room with no hope of exit.
>Much less with the very last person you want to be doing fucking solitary with.
>No fuck her, keep hunting.
>Her horn lights up real bright and she squints with effort until she POOFS out of existence with a teleport.
>Only to immediately return to where she was before after the walls flashed.
>"Twiliiiiiiight!" she bellows.
"Okay where the fuck is the way out of here?"
>"There is no way out, you fucking asshole!"
"Bullshit, there's no way out!"
>"Are you fucking deaf? I just said there's no way out! Welcome to 'time out', asshole!"
"This is 'time-out'?! On what fucking planet?"
>"Twilight you bitch, get him out! Get me out!"
"No seriously, where's the damn exit?"
>"There isn't one you fucking idiot! You think I haven't looked?!"
"Oh for fuck's sake."
>"Aaaaaagh, this is all your fault!"
"Wh-- my fault?!"
>"Yes, your fault! You had to fucking bring that stupid poison up!"
"Are you fucking high? All I did was point it out! You're the one who decided to eat it!"
>"I wouldn't have had to eat it if you weren't such a fucking crybaby bitch about it!"
"Oh look at you, passing the blame around! Very fucking Equestrian of you!"
>"Wow, the human brings pain and suffering to everything he's around, who'da fucking thunk it?!"
"You wanna fucking go?"
>"We both know how that went last time, shithead!"
"With you eating my fucking fists? How could I ever forget?"
>"I'll kick your fucking ass!"
>Cries of battle are loosed as you barrel towards the bitch of the millenium, limbs drawn back to punch at--
>ZWING
>Tiny little purple magic shields spring up out of nowhere, stopping both of you from actually landing your blows by about an inch.
"The fuck are you doing now, cheating again?"
>"I didn't do this, you asshole! Who-- Ohh, Twilight, you can't be serious!"
>Another attempt at a punch is thrown at her desperately deserving face, only to get bounced off by a tiny shield again.
"I can't even fucking hit you?"
>Yeah no, Twilight has to be fucking evil.
>What sick, sadistic fuck comes up with a 'time-out' room that does shit like this?
>Never have you been more confused about anyone before, let alone a fucking pony.
>Try as you might, you can't actually land any hits on the testy fucking thot before you, quickly leaving you with only one option:
"Fuck."
>Well, that's that avenue of retaliation out of reach.
>She, however, doesn't get the memo, punching away over and over again.
>"You motherfucker! I'm not through with you!"
>Y'know, there's something kinda funny about watching her lash out at you in vain like this.
>Doesn't change how pissed you are, but it's there.
>You decide to just sprawl back on one of the couches, and once she has her fill of trying to deck you, she flops onto the other couch herself.
>"I fucking hate you."
"Right back at you."
>"You're a fucking asshole."
"You're a psychotic bitch."
>"And things were going so fucking well this afternoon, too!"
"You have a real talent for ruining good things, you know."
>"Look who's fucking talking! I was actually having some fun today until you fucked it!"
"Oh don't fucking kid yourself, it wasn't fun in the first place."
>"Yeah, because you came along and fucked it all up! Case in point!"
"And how was I supposed to know that your aunt was such a thin skinned fucking pussy?"
>"That's Starlight, shit-for-brains! One of her friends? Y'know, one you just shit on? She's not the princess of friendship for nothing!"
"Those two are friends? I thought she was some squirrely hooker that Spike picked up!"
>"No, that would actually make sense! Seriously, how did you miss those two being big friends again?"
"Oh I'm sorry, I'm just not as fucking psychic as you'd expected. Please forgive me, 'O feminine one!"
>"Feminine, really? That's the first thing that came to mind?"
"Am I wrong? You fucking women and your bullshit mind games! Sorry that not all of us are as fucking psychic as you are!"
>"Oh, give me a fucking break! If I were fucking psychic, I'd be telling you that you've still got no fucking chance with me!"
"Wait, the fuck do you mean with 'no fucking chance'? Chance for what, kicking your teeth in?"
>"Oh dear fucking Epona, stallions are so fucking stupid! No, dipshit, I mean with you wanting me!"
"Wanting you? The fuck does that even--"
>Oh.
>Wait, seriously?
"Ohh."
>"Yeah, that! Wow, you actually figured something out for once, who'da thunk it?!"
"Yeah, I sure figured it out all right! Figured out that you're still fucking crazy!"
>>205691
>"Oh, please! Do I look like an idiot to you?"
"Not at all, because calling you an idiot would be an insult to idiots everywhere!"
>"Yeah, who do you think you're fooling, shitheel? So what do you want out of me, huh?"
"What do I want out of you? Does throwing you into a fucking volcano count?"
>"Enough with your bullshit already--!"
"That's my line, you fucking skank! Don't pull this reverse psychology bullshit on me!"
>"What the fuck are you on about now?"
"Speaking of my lines, what do you want out of me anyways?"
>"What do I want? I don't want a fucking thing out of you, asshole!"
"Riiiiight, so you don't want any of my dad's money to keep your shitty vassal state afloat. Sure, okay. I buy that shit."
>"Whoa whoa wait wait wait, what?"
"I'm sure that'd get you real big and famous with those Canterlot types! I mean, bagging the prince instead of a senator? Already got the vacation planned out too?"
>For some reason utterly beyond you, she just looks at you like you've grown two heads.
>"Wait," she starts, halfway caught between laughter and offence, "Waaaaait wait wait! You think I'm after you?"
"Stop the fucking presses, the dipshit figured something out!"
>"What the actual flaming ostrich fuck is this bullshit now? You're the one after me, retard!"
"I want not a fucking thing to do with you, you lying sack of shit! There's no way in candy-coloured hell that I'd want you!"
>"Riiiiight, because you totally don't want the perfect fucking political shield in the bag, nosiree!"
"The only thing I need a shield against is your obvious hunt for my fucking gibs!"
>"Don't you fucking talk to me about gibs, monkey! You're the one with the literal army of senators dicking their way into the Canterlot elites for all the gibs they can get!"
"Hah, wow, okay. That's a new one, even for me! Get fucking real, princess. You're the one with the fucking armies of sentient cock warmers sucking and fucking their way towards 'world peace'!"
>"Oh, so this is what next level denial looks like? That or you're the best bullshitter I've ever had the misfortune of meeting!"
"I'm the bullshitter? Fucking griffons could learn a thing or two from you, princess!"
>"Don't you ever compare me to those fucking grease merchants again!"
"Wear the fucking shoe if it fits, bitch!"
>She launches herself at your couch, as if expecting her to change anything with her attempt to hit you.
>You can't say you were expecting her to kick the couch over, sending you bowling over backwards.
>By the time you scramble back up again, she's back to kicking at you again in a vain effort to hurt you.
>Boy does she look pissed, though nowhere near as much as you feel!
>"You can't fucking have me!"
"You can't fucking have me!"
>"I hope you deepthroat a fucking shotgun!"
"I hope you suck twenty-five dicks and die!"
>While neither of you can punch at each other, you can trip each other up with the miscellaneous furniture lying around.
>And so, the onslaught of roundabout attacks begins.
>God only knows how long it goes for, but by the time you're too winded to continue, the entire room is in absolute chaos, with the only thing not overturned being the grandfather clock.
>The sofas and table on the other hand were all overturned, and you're lying on top of the cushions with glowing chandelier gems strewn all about, glaring at the twat opposite to you in much the same state while the two of you pant with exertion.
>What a lying piece of fucking shit.
>Doesn't want your fucking gibs, oh please!
>She's a fucking pony!
>She's fucking built for the art of milking out gibs!
>If not you, then some other dense fucking sap!
>Just look at her!
>Yeah, you know all the signs of how ponies lie, all the cues they've got written on their faces!
>She's a real good fucking liar, being able to cover it up as well as she is right now!
>Seriously, there's not a fucking sign of lying on her dumb face!
>Forget good, she's a fucking ace at lying!
>But you'll find the crack!
>Eventually!
>Just gotta keep looking.
>Don't give her an inch, in any sense.
>Just keep looking.
>And looking.
>And looking.
>And...
>Uhh.
>Wait.
>She can't have that good of a fucking poker face, can she?
>Not even fucking Celestia can pull that off!
>Is she...
>Is she actually being serious with you right now?
>No.
>No, that can't be right.
>Right?
>Surely she must be really, really good at this; like, groomed for it?
>But wait, she's a fucking dipshit.
>She wouldn't be smart enough to...
>You can't say for sure that your face must be softening up, but hers most certainly is.
>That's not right, though!
>Right?
>She's...
"Are you serious?"
>"Are you serious?"
>A shared blink.
"But that's not right!"
>"But that's not right!"
"Ponies want our fucking gibs!"
>"Humans want our fucking gibs!"
>No, there's no mistaking it.
>She's actually completely serious.
"How the fuck does that even work? That's not how pony politics work!"
>"That's my line! Human politics don't work that way!"
"And how would you know how our politics work? Ever been to the senate before?"
>"Can't be any worse than the bullshit that is the royal court! You don't know how bad our politics are until you've been to the court!"
"Is it worse than fucking special interests bribing big blocks of senators to shill their causes? Every fucking hearing?"
>"Ever had the same inbred nobles come up and ask for a tax break every court for more than three years straight?"
>It isn't long before you end up telling her of the hellscape that is the Dominion senate.
>How absolutely fucking petty and insufferable they are, and how dad somehow hasn't outright fucking abolished it by now.
>"Oh, please! Do I look like an idiot to you?"
"Not at all, because calling you an idiot would be an insult to idiots everywhere!"
>"Yeah, who do you think you're fooling, shitheel? So what do you want out of me, huh?"
"What do I want out of you? Does throwing you into a fucking volcano count?"
>"Enough with your bullshit already--!"
"That's my line, you fucking skank! Don't pull this reverse psychology bullshit on me!"
>"What the fuck are you on about now?"
"Speaking of my lines, what do you want out of me anyways?"
>"What do I want? I don't want a fucking thing out of you, asshole!"
"Riiiiight, so you don't want any of my dad's money to keep your shitty vassal state afloat. Sure, okay. I buy that shit."
>"Whoa whoa wait wait wait, what?"
"I'm sure that'd get you real big and famous with those Canterlot types! I mean, bagging the prince instead of a senator? Already got the vacation planned out too?"
>For some reason utterly beyond you, she just looks at you like you've grown two heads.
>"Wait," she starts, halfway caught between laughter and offence, "Waaaaait wait wait! You think I'm after you?"
"Stop the fucking presses, the dipshit figured something out!"
>"What the actual flaming ostrich fuck is this bullshit now? You're the one after me, retard!"
"I want not a fucking thing to do with you, you lying sack of shit! There's no way in candy-coloured hell that I'd want you!"
>"Riiiiight, because you totally don't want the perfect fucking political shield in the bag, nosiree!"
"The only thing I need a shield against is your obvious hunt for my fucking gibs!"
>"Don't you fucking talk to me about gibs, monkey! You're the one with the literal army of senators dicking their way into the Canterlot elites for all the gibs they can get!"
"Hah, wow, okay. That's a new one, even for me! Get fucking real, princess. You're the one with the fucking armies of sentient cock warmers sucking and fucking their way towards 'world peace'!"
>"Oh, so this is what next level denial looks like? That or you're the best bullshitter I've ever had the misfortune of meeting!"
"I'm the bullshitter? Fucking griffons could learn a thing or two from you, princess!"
>"Don't you ever compare me to those fucking grease merchants again!"
"Wear the fucking shoe if it fits, bitch!"
>She launches herself at your couch, as if expecting her to change anything with her attempt to hit you.
>You can't say you were expecting her to kick the couch over, sending you bowling over backwards.
>By the time you scramble back up again, she's back to kicking at you again in a vain effort to hurt you.
>Boy does she look pissed, though nowhere near as much as you feel!
>"You can't fucking have me!"
"You can't fucking have me!"
>"I hope you deepthroat a fucking shotgun!"
"I hope you suck twenty-five dicks and die!"
>While neither of you can punch at each other, you can trip each other up with the miscellaneous furniture lying around.
>And so, the onslaught of roundabout attacks begins.
>God only knows how long it goes for, but by the time you're too winded to continue, the entire room is in absolute chaos, with the only thing not overturned being the grandfather clock.
>The sofas and table on the other hand were all overturned, and you're lying on top of the cushions with glowing chandelier gems strewn all about, glaring at the twat opposite to you in much the same state while the two of you pant with exertion.
>What a lying piece of fucking shit.
>Doesn't want your fucking gibs, oh please!
>She's a fucking pony!
>She's fucking built for the art of milking out gibs!
>If not you, then some other dense fucking sap!
>Just look at her!
>Yeah, you know all the signs of how ponies lie, all the cues they've got written on their faces!
>She's a real good fucking liar, being able to cover it up as well as she is right now!
>Seriously, there's not a fucking sign of lying on her dumb face!
>Forget good, she's a fucking ace at lying!
>But you'll find the crack!
>Eventually!
>Just gotta keep looking.
>Don't give her an inch, in any sense.
>Just keep looking.
>And looking.
>And looking.
>And...
>Uhh.
>Wait.
>She can't have that good of a fucking poker face, can she?
>Not even fucking Celestia can pull that off!
>Is she...
>Is she actually being serious with you right now?
>No.
>No, that can't be right.
>Right?
>Surely she must be really, really good at this; like, groomed for it?
>But wait, she's a fucking dipshit.
>She wouldn't be smart enough to...
>You can't say for sure that your face must be softening up, but hers most certainly is.
>That's not right, though!
>Right?
>She's...
"Are you serious?"
>"Are you serious?"
>A shared blink.
"But that's not right!"
>"But that's not right!"
"Ponies want our fucking gibs!"
>"Humans want our fucking gibs!"
>No, there's no mistaking it.
>She's actually completely serious.
"How the fuck does that even work? That's not how pony politics work!"
>"That's my line! Human politics don't work that way!"
"And how would you know how our politics work? Ever been to the senate before?"
>"Can't be any worse than the bullshit that is the royal court! You don't know how bad our politics are until you've been to the court!"
"Is it worse than fucking special interests bribing big blocks of senators to shill their causes? Every fucking hearing?"
>"Ever had the same inbred nobles come up and ask for a tax break every court for more than three years straight?"
>It isn't long before you end up telling her of the hellscape that is the Dominion senate.
>How absolutely fucking petty and insufferable they are, and how dad somehow hasn't outright fucking abolished it by now.
>>205692
>Meanwhile, she tells you about pony court, and oh good Lord was it worse than you thought.
>What it lacks in SIGs, it makes up for in inbred nobles doing anything from demanding their competitors be legislated out of existence, to demanding to get hitched to their siblings!
>"Oh fuck off, that didn't happen."
"I swear to God it did! This fucking senator unironically said fiat currency was better than gold standard! Right there, on the floor, totally straight face!"
>"That I buy, but the applause? Fuck right off."
"I'm serious! Didn't find out until later that it was the same fucking special interest backing them all!"
>"Yeah, whatever. Besides, fiat may be shit, but everyone knows gem standard is the best."
"Uhh, what? Did you just forget that dragons exist?"
>"Proving my point. They're scarce because of them, therefore they're valuable."
"Gems are scarce, really? You can dig them up literally in your backyard. Try doing that with gold."
>"Yeah, the shit ones that not even dragons want. Besides, gold's too scarce to be a common medium."
"Excuse me? You can literally cut it up and melt it back together perfectly. Try doing that with a gem."
>"That's why sliver grades exist."
"Yeah, the scale you'd need to be a griffon to understand."
>"Y'know, if I had my phone, you'd be proven wrong in no time at all."
"That's my line."
>"Whatever."
"Hey, can't be more bullshit than this court inbreeding business."
>"That's not bullshit, that literally happens every single day up in Canterlot! And it's fucking spreading to the Empire!"
"We both know that the rednecks are the bigger sister fuckers."
>"Oh sit down, you haven't met pony nobles before! Ever hear of the fucking Bluebloods before?"
"Never."
>"You're lucky! Apparently Celestia's super far off in their family tree, and boy are they not afraid to flaunt it!"
"She is? Yeah, the princess of celibacy having kids, fuck off."
>"She's over a thousand years old! Bet she was a huge fucking whore back then! And lo and behold, her mistake's still haunting Canterlot to this day!"
"Did you just call her a whore?"
>"Damn right I did! Come on, that perfect a public image? You just know she's into some fucked up shit behind the scenes!"
"Aaaah, not arguing there. Where does that leave her sis, then?"
>"No, at least Luna's fucking honest! If she could arrange the stars into the words 'GIVE ME DICK', she'd fucking do it!"
"I'll take your word for it. Now what's this about Blueblood?"
>"Oh the fucking Bluebloods! Okay, so their youngest kid swung by with his spoiled daddy and his fucking sister wife a few years back!"
"What, to bump uglies with his sister?"
>"No, to bump uglies with my aunt!"
>What?
"What? You mean--?"
>"Twilight? Yes! He fucking said, right there, to her face, that their foals would be the best in the world!"
"Oh fuck off."
>"I'm serious! But that wasn't the best part! Then he saw me next! He dropped trying to fuck my aunt and just went straight to hitting on me instead!"
"Yeah, doesn't sound uncommon for their type."
>"I was fifteen!"
"Oh."
>"Yeah, 'oh'! He put his fucking hoof on me, and I broke his muzzle! Never saw him in court again!"
"Okay, stop. No way in hell you can just punch your fucking subjects like that."
>"You can if they touch first! And you think any lawyer wanted to stick up for a wannabe foal fucker?"
"Well fair enough I guess."
>"You mean you can't punch anyone who touches you first?"
"You can, but you can't go overboard. Justified self-defence limits or something. It's bullshit."
>"Hah!"
>A brief silence follows.
>Wait, when did you end up sitting so close to her?
>You blink.
>Oh, no.
>You see where this shit is going and you're having none of it.
"Just so we're clear here..."
>"Just so we're clear here..."
"You're not getting my fucking gibs."
>"You're not getting my fucking gibs."
"Understand?"
>"Understand?"
>A brief stare-off.
"Thought we went over this already. You're after my gibs."
>"Yeah, no. You're after my gibs. Nice fucking try though."
"You're fucking lucky my phone's gone."
>"What, so you can prove me right? Yeah, real shame, that."
>Just as your mouth opens...
>POOF
>Everything tastes purple again for a moment, and--
"Whoa!"
>"Aaaah!"
>Next thing you know, you're falling for a split second before landing on something soft.
>"Now you two had better be on your best behaviour tomorrow!" an all-too-familiar purple voice calls out. "Because if I hear one peep of anything rude from either of you next morning, neither of you will get any breakfast!"
>The mere mention of food triggers a stomach grumble.
>"Now, I'll see the two of you tomorrow!"
>Doors are heard slamming as you scramble up to take stock of things.
>You're back in the bedroom, and the clock reads 7:30 at night.
>When the fuck did that happen?
>"Oh good, finally out of that hellhole!" your cellmate groans on her own bed.
"Yeah, with no food to show for it."
>"She does that when you trash the time-out room."
"You trashed the room."
>"Really? Wrong about the room, and wrong about the gibs?"
"Oh, I'm wrong am I?"
>You climb off the bed and try powering up the thaumputer.
>Amazingly, it actually boots up to a normal looking desktop this time around!
"Phone or no phone, the visternet doesn't care."
>She jumps off herself and boots up her own thaumputer.
>"Holy shit, she was too angry to turn the locks on?"
"So," you grin, "Not too late to admit you're wrong."
>"Well I'm sorry to hear that," she shoots back, "Because you're about to get fucking schooled."
"Bring it."
>Up comes the browser.
...
>Meanwhile, she tells you about pony court, and oh good Lord was it worse than you thought.
>What it lacks in SIGs, it makes up for in inbred nobles doing anything from demanding their competitors be legislated out of existence, to demanding to get hitched to their siblings!
>"Oh fuck off, that didn't happen."
"I swear to God it did! This fucking senator unironically said fiat currency was better than gold standard! Right there, on the floor, totally straight face!"
>"That I buy, but the applause? Fuck right off."
"I'm serious! Didn't find out until later that it was the same fucking special interest backing them all!"
>"Yeah, whatever. Besides, fiat may be shit, but everyone knows gem standard is the best."
"Uhh, what? Did you just forget that dragons exist?"
>"Proving my point. They're scarce because of them, therefore they're valuable."
"Gems are scarce, really? You can dig them up literally in your backyard. Try doing that with gold."
>"Yeah, the shit ones that not even dragons want. Besides, gold's too scarce to be a common medium."
"Excuse me? You can literally cut it up and melt it back together perfectly. Try doing that with a gem."
>"That's why sliver grades exist."
"Yeah, the scale you'd need to be a griffon to understand."
>"Y'know, if I had my phone, you'd be proven wrong in no time at all."
"That's my line."
>"Whatever."
"Hey, can't be more bullshit than this court inbreeding business."
>"That's not bullshit, that literally happens every single day up in Canterlot! And it's fucking spreading to the Empire!"
"We both know that the rednecks are the bigger sister fuckers."
>"Oh sit down, you haven't met pony nobles before! Ever hear of the fucking Bluebloods before?"
"Never."
>"You're lucky! Apparently Celestia's super far off in their family tree, and boy are they not afraid to flaunt it!"
"She is? Yeah, the princess of celibacy having kids, fuck off."
>"She's over a thousand years old! Bet she was a huge fucking whore back then! And lo and behold, her mistake's still haunting Canterlot to this day!"
"Did you just call her a whore?"
>"Damn right I did! Come on, that perfect a public image? You just know she's into some fucked up shit behind the scenes!"
"Aaaah, not arguing there. Where does that leave her sis, then?"
>"No, at least Luna's fucking honest! If she could arrange the stars into the words 'GIVE ME DICK', she'd fucking do it!"
"I'll take your word for it. Now what's this about Blueblood?"
>"Oh the fucking Bluebloods! Okay, so their youngest kid swung by with his spoiled daddy and his fucking sister wife a few years back!"
"What, to bump uglies with his sister?"
>"No, to bump uglies with my aunt!"
>What?
"What? You mean--?"
>"Twilight? Yes! He fucking said, right there, to her face, that their foals would be the best in the world!"
"Oh fuck off."
>"I'm serious! But that wasn't the best part! Then he saw me next! He dropped trying to fuck my aunt and just went straight to hitting on me instead!"
"Yeah, doesn't sound uncommon for their type."
>"I was fifteen!"
"Oh."
>"Yeah, 'oh'! He put his fucking hoof on me, and I broke his muzzle! Never saw him in court again!"
"Okay, stop. No way in hell you can just punch your fucking subjects like that."
>"You can if they touch first! And you think any lawyer wanted to stick up for a wannabe foal fucker?"
"Well fair enough I guess."
>"You mean you can't punch anyone who touches you first?"
"You can, but you can't go overboard. Justified self-defence limits or something. It's bullshit."
>"Hah!"
>A brief silence follows.
>Wait, when did you end up sitting so close to her?
>You blink.
>Oh, no.
>You see where this shit is going and you're having none of it.
"Just so we're clear here..."
>"Just so we're clear here..."
"You're not getting my fucking gibs."
>"You're not getting my fucking gibs."
"Understand?"
>"Understand?"
>A brief stare-off.
"Thought we went over this already. You're after my gibs."
>"Yeah, no. You're after my gibs. Nice fucking try though."
"You're fucking lucky my phone's gone."
>"What, so you can prove me right? Yeah, real shame, that."
>Just as your mouth opens...
>POOF
>Everything tastes purple again for a moment, and--
"Whoa!"
>"Aaaah!"
>Next thing you know, you're falling for a split second before landing on something soft.
>"Now you two had better be on your best behaviour tomorrow!" an all-too-familiar purple voice calls out. "Because if I hear one peep of anything rude from either of you next morning, neither of you will get any breakfast!"
>The mere mention of food triggers a stomach grumble.
>"Now, I'll see the two of you tomorrow!"
>Doors are heard slamming as you scramble up to take stock of things.
>You're back in the bedroom, and the clock reads 7:30 at night.
>When the fuck did that happen?
>"Oh good, finally out of that hellhole!" your cellmate groans on her own bed.
"Yeah, with no food to show for it."
>"She does that when you trash the time-out room."
"You trashed the room."
>"Really? Wrong about the room, and wrong about the gibs?"
"Oh, I'm wrong am I?"
>You climb off the bed and try powering up the thaumputer.
>Amazingly, it actually boots up to a normal looking desktop this time around!
"Phone or no phone, the visternet doesn't care."
>She jumps off herself and boots up her own thaumputer.
>"Holy shit, she was too angry to turn the locks on?"
"So," you grin, "Not too late to admit you're wrong."
>"Well I'm sorry to hear that," she shoots back, "Because you're about to get fucking schooled."
"Bring it."
>Up comes the browser.
...
>>205693
So yeah, I think it's safe to say that this little tale has gone from the IPO of simple wank material to a longer-form ordeal. Given the response this has gotten so far though, I don't think there's any complaints about the new direction. That or I've just committed the same kind of sin that failed Kickstarters typically do. Probably the latter, now that I'm thinking about it...
Kinda wish my update pace was a little quicker, but hey, there's only so much you can do when juggling this and another story, on top of life's little challenges. You understand.
Anyway, hope y'all enjoyed, and I'll catch you next time.
So yeah, I think it's safe to say that this little tale has gone from the IPO of simple wank material to a longer-form ordeal. Given the response this has gotten so far though, I don't think there's any complaints about the new direction. That or I've just committed the same kind of sin that failed Kickstarters typically do. Probably the latter, now that I'm thinking about it...
Kinda wish my update pace was a little quicker, but hey, there's only so much you can do when juggling this and another story, on top of life's little challenges. You understand.
Anyway, hope y'all enjoyed, and I'll catch you next time.
File (): 9B38309DAC24DC5B53AFEC778453D266-41062.jpg (40.1 KB, 490x750, Horseman.jpg)
>>205694
Hi, again treeleech. How have you been? I have been improving since you gave me that comment on my story here, >>200070 →. I have taken it to heart and my paragraphs have a better flow now. Because that is what you meant, right? That the first sentence should lead into the next sentence and so on. Like, for example, using the passive voice when it's auspicious. Although, I mostly think about these tips when a write stories, not in posts.
Anyway, I am just checking in on to say hi. That is literally the point with this post nothing else going on here.
I can, however, ask you what that other project you are doing is. Is it that long project that you have been working on for two years? If it is, how do you do that? Do you have a plan of where you are going or a goal to aim for? What's it about?
I have this collab idea that I want to share with you but I will take that later.
Also, >Pic related is the aftermath of this thread. Hope you are proud of yourself horsefuckers.
Hi, again treeleech. How have you been? I have been improving since you gave me that comment on my story here, >>200070 →. I have taken it to heart and my paragraphs have a better flow now. Because that is what you meant, right? That the first sentence should lead into the next sentence and so on. Like, for example, using the passive voice when it's auspicious. Although, I mostly think about these tips when a write stories, not in posts.
Anyway, I am just checking in on to say hi. That is literally the point with this post nothing else going on here.
I can, however, ask you what that other project you are doing is. Is it that long project that you have been working on for two years? If it is, how do you do that? Do you have a plan of where you are going or a goal to aim for? What's it about?
I have this collab idea that I want to share with you but I will take that later.
Also, >Pic related is the aftermath of this thread. Hope you are proud of yourself horsefuckers.
File (): B5B27E064AA16FFFF0685D9703F58B36-4845069.png (4.6 MB, 2800x2800, 1965559__explicit_alternate version_artist-colon-rinikka_oc_oc-colon-aurora wing_oc-colon-frost wing_oc only_oc-colon-snow wing_anus_ball.png)
File (): B938B39A5DBFD06540CEC0691F52D313-1136273.jpg (1.1 MB, 3600x3200, 1949565__explicit_artist-colon-kuroran_oc_oc-colon-silver sword_anus_clitoris_collar_frog (hoof)_nudity_presenting_red and black oc_rule .jpg)
File (): 9BAD6142E573A52470E63706C162B998-892526.png (871.6 KB, 1920x1080, 1964971__explicit_artist-colon-wellfugzee_oc_oc-colon-bitter pill_oc only_anatomically correct_anus_ass_clitoris_crotchboobs_cutie mark_d.png)
>>205694
It's still fantastic. It's a bit of a wait, but it's still worth it to see what'll happen next. Keep going, Canada, you're an absolute hero.
It's still fantastic. It's a bit of a wait, but it's still worth it to see what'll happen next. Keep going, Canada, you're an absolute hero.
File (): 95D8DE033777479D87E21039B203B36D-1800222.png (1.7 MB, 1279x1570, 1806788__explicit_alternate version_artist-colon-ventious_oc_oc only_oc-colon-shadow blue_anatomically correct_anus_bottomless_clitoris_c.png)
File (): E4C607D16CD1BBF588E3E7FF1288B71B-548782.png (535.9 KB, 1400x2250, 1805839__explicit_artist-colon-ventious_queen chrysalis_anatomically correct_anus_blushing_changeling_changeling queen_dildo_female_inser.png)
File (): 3F1CE2268CA748BDC38EF19CE2BC0C1F-18582460.png (17.7 MB, 6614x4677, 1966633__explicit_artist-colon-calena_seafoam_sea swirl_anus_bath_commission_female_grin_nudity_pony_shower_smiling_solo_solo female_unic.png)
>>205830
>Hi, again treeleech.
You've just given me the mental image of Zoidberg in a toque doing Zoidberg things to a maple tree. I'm not sure if I should blame you or myself for that. Probably myself.
>I have been improving since you gave me that comment on my story
Neato mosquito, buddy. Though to be honest, I still stand by the tried and true method of "read good shit, absorb technique through osmosis, replicate, adapt". A good balance of positive and negative reinforcement, y'dig?
>Anyway, I am just checking in on to say hi.
Hi, eh!
>I can, however, ask you what that other project you are doing is.
As a general rule, I hate shilling my own stuff. All I'll say is that it's the six parter in my Pastebin (soon to be seven), and I drop the updates for it on AiE.
>Is it that long project that you have been working on for two years?
Eyup.
>If it is, how do you do that?
This leaf finishes what he starts.
>Do you have a plan of where you are going or a goal to aim for?
I'd be insane if I didn't.
>Also, >Pic related is the aftermath of this thread. Hope you are proud of yourself horsefuckers.
Actually, I've always wondered about that. Horsefucker progeny is anything from poners, hybrid poners, satyrs, >anthro and more, but for some reason centaurs are left out of the deal. What's up with that?
What do you guys have against centaurs?
>Hi, again treeleech.
You've just given me the mental image of Zoidberg in a toque doing Zoidberg things to a maple tree. I'm not sure if I should blame you or myself for that. Probably myself.
>I have been improving since you gave me that comment on my story
Neato mosquito, buddy. Though to be honest, I still stand by the tried and true method of "read good shit, absorb technique through osmosis, replicate, adapt". A good balance of positive and negative reinforcement, y'dig?
>Anyway, I am just checking in on to say hi.
Hi, eh!
>I can, however, ask you what that other project you are doing is.
As a general rule, I hate shilling my own stuff. All I'll say is that it's the six parter in my Pastebin (soon to be seven), and I drop the updates for it on AiE.
>Is it that long project that you have been working on for two years?
Eyup.
>If it is, how do you do that?
This leaf finishes what he starts.
>Do you have a plan of where you are going or a goal to aim for?
I'd be insane if I didn't.
>Also, >Pic related is the aftermath of this thread. Hope you are proud of yourself horsefuckers.
Actually, I've always wondered about that. Horsefucker progeny is anything from poners, hybrid poners, satyrs, >anthro and more, but for some reason centaurs are left out of the deal. What's up with that?
What do you guys have against centaurs?
File (): 26D96EE020AB7961562360350838E683-120980.jpg (118.1 KB, 2292x2160, 1967196__explicit_artist-colon-dusthiel_autumn blaze_sounds of silence_spoiler-colon-s08e23_anus_floppy ears_kirin_looking back_nudity_op.jpg)
File (): A85A8C482B50D1DC9A88AD73DD384386-2302357.png (2.2 MB, 2888x2910, 1967183__explicit_artist-colon-conrie_oc_oc-colon-blackened blue_oc-colon-maya heartstrings_oc only_anal_anal creampie_anus_blowjob_blush.png)
File (): F385C753336DF8137EA4553706ECCC5B-866634.png (846.3 KB, 1920x1080, 1966305__explicit_artist-colon-wellfugzee_oc_oc only_oc-colon-seafoam breeze_anatomically correct_anus_ass_clitoris_crotchboobs_cutie mar.png)
>>206138
>for some reason centaurs are left out of the deal. What's up with that?
Probably because nobody's sure how to make a pegasus centaur.
>for some reason centaurs are left out of the deal. What's up with that?
Probably because nobody's sure how to make a pegasus centaur.
>>206138
Have you seen how centaurs are shaped? I can't imagine giving birth to one would be anything but painful and hazardous.
Have you seen how centaurs are shaped? I can't imagine giving birth to one would be anything but painful and hazardous.
As punishment for letting the porn thread fall off the front page, I'm posting this.
File (): 721C355EC9F55E5D9D6111AABD0CAADA-2491755.png (2.4 MB, 2732x2048, 1969231__explicit_artist-colon-negasun_oc_oc-colon-lunette_oc only_aftersex_anatomically correct_cum_cum on ass_nudity_vulva.png)
File (): 1344C580F3E5DA6FF6F503DC0E07ADF9-7786384.png (7.4 MB, 3500x3333, 1966570__explicit_artist-colon-neko-dash-me_fluttershy_rainbow dash_thunderlane_oc_oc-colon-amber ink_oc-colon-heart mender_oc-colon-ruby.png)
File (): 47D56D6F37F55756620BA65FBA112649-7891615.png (7.5 MB, 4052x2865, 1969224__explicit_artist-colon-dankflank_princess celestia_art pack-colon-tome of ponut chapter 2_alicorn_anatomically correct_anus_cloth.png)
Fuck off, Nigel. You're the worst kind of faggot.
File (): 0EF7B28F9CB4D8ED911933DFEC7F0ACD-1511451.png (1.4 MB, 1297x1824, 1968374__explicit_artist-colon-evomanaphy_princess cadance_alicorn_anatomically correct_anatomically incorrect_anus_bed_bedroom_bedroom e.png)
File (): C8B7D2EA50B514B482B16B4C3CF00638-1039765.png (1.0 MB, 3000x3000, 1970035__explicit_artist-colon-fajnyziomal_bon bon_lyra heartstrings_sweetie drops_oc_anus_blushing_bow_clothes_commission_earth pony_fem.png)
File (): EDE40D68E0399C43B79FF33150FA8984-516768.png (504.7 KB, 1167x900, 1969782__explicit_artist-colon-gemkin_oc_oc only_oc-colon-tiramisu_anal beads_anus_bat pony_clothes_cute_dildo_dock_frog (hoof)_lube_nudi.png)
>>206558
I'm not into what I posted. I'm into ponies, slime girls, massive tits, and sexy maid outfits.
Aside from the ponies and slime girls, I'm normie as fuck when it comes to sex.
I'm not into what I posted. I'm into ponies, slime girls, massive tits, and sexy maid outfits.
Aside from the ponies and slime girls, I'm normie as fuck when it comes to sex.
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File (): A8CE16FE8B6B9378B45F668A7971DFCA-379384.jpg (370.5 KB, 2048x2319, 1970058__explicit_artist-colon-estories_oc_oc-colon-frosty twinkle_oc only_anus_female_lidded eyes_looking at you_patreon_patreon logo_pa.jpg)
File (): 6EBB8055F4168D79EF35557A45C905F2-404822.jpg (395.3 KB, 1571x2048, 1970042__explicit_artist-colon-estories_adagio dazzle_oc_oc only_canon x oc_cunnilingus_earth pony_eyes closed_female_lesbian_lidded eyes.jpg)
>>206893
No one cares what you're into. I'm on this site once, maybe twice a day. I'm responsible for 80% or so of the bumping that goes on in this thread, and here you come complaining about how the thread has fallen off the first page because I haven't gotten on the site to bump it yet and saying "well, since you let this fall off the first page I'm going to post this fucking faggot shit nobody here enjoys in the slightest as 'punishment'". You know, instead of actually helping by bumping the thread with some fucking pony porn.
No one cares what you're into. I'm on this site once, maybe twice a day. I'm responsible for 80% or so of the bumping that goes on in this thread, and here you come complaining about how the thread has fallen off the first page because I haven't gotten on the site to bump it yet and saying "well, since you let this fall off the first page I'm going to post this fucking faggot shit nobody here enjoys in the slightest as 'punishment'". You know, instead of actually helping by bumping the thread with some fucking pony porn.
File (): 1E308C91AF44233D482C2F900CC7D091-1225144.jpg (1.2 MB, 2000x2000, 726682__explicit_artist-colon-marble-dash-soda_spike_twilight sparkle_anus_cute_cute porn_disembodied hand_dock_female_foalcon_gaping_gaping anus_grope.jpg)
File (): 9A35AFB039AF54B2A30E78B692C41B6C-212044.png (207.1 KB, 1280x640, 1069417__source needed_useless source url_explicit_artist-colon-capital-dash-h_pinkie pie_twilight sparkle_series-colon-feeling horny_ahegao_alicorn_ce.png)
File (): 898D25D6E8785C60CBF15E0FC6B47968-473886.gif (462.8 KB, 861x1200, 1409199__explicit_artist-colon-an-dash-tonio_derpibooru exclusive_moondancer_twilight sparkle_alicorn_anatomically correct_animated_anus_both cutie mar.gif)
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File (): 9EF4EF61F2039C8F440D9C757B5CE51B-1968581.png (1.9 MB, 2276x3000, 1971418__explicit_artist-colon-arctic-dash-fox_oc_oc-colon-ash wing_oc only_closed eye_cum_earth pony_female_mare_rope_sketch_solo_solo f.png)
File (): 612844762020A6803107727C6F9D2EE3-6974925.png (6.7 MB, 2500x2000, 1971309__explicit_artist-colon-etozhexleb_derpibooru exclusive_rainbow dash_anus_blue coat_blushing_dock_eyebrows_female_looking at you_l.png)
File (): 3F66F088AB790C7AEE838E1A91CF7279-8267254.png (7.9 MB, 5300x4800, 1935606__explicit_artist-colon-chango-dash-tan_oc_anus_earth pony_female_glasses_looking pleasured_male_nudity_pegasus_penetration_pony_s.png)
File (): 119E6E25BA06A3D9B3E933203413226D-2208017.png (2.1 MB, 5000x5300, 1968514__explicit_artist-colon-partylikeanartist_derpibooru exclusive_oc_oc-colon-paamayim nekudotayim_ass up_bedroom eyes_clitoris_colla.png)
File (): 49E9D0F6C0D46EF0005520559FA8568F-652116.png (636.8 KB, 2000x2000, 1972379__artist needed_explicit_oc_oc-colon-duk_anus_bread_clothes_cutie mark_duck_food_lewd_nudity_nylon_nylon tights_ponut_quack_quak_s.png)
File (): 44BC6D216C51D89FA8FA2A6CB601056E-81503.jpg (79.6 KB, 709x600, medium.jpeg)
I know the person that made the videos is a literal tranny, but god damn I miss these cute little poners... I'd post better porn if I could, but there isn't much of it.
>>205693
>Mr. Augustulus shoves one of the double doors open, while Cadance shoves the other one open at the same time.
>Both you and Mrs. Augustulus quickly follow them out of the debating chamber, and on their route towards the castle suites.
>It's only when they're several yards away from the debate floor that their exhaustion shows through fully on their faces.
>"Good God, Candy. I didn't think old Steel Wrench's aides could drag things out like that."
>"Whew, you said it, Nito. I don't even think I can talk about my idea today..."
>"Nor do I think I could fully appreciate it in my state. I'm sorry."
>"No no, don't be."
>The two of them sigh simultaneously, while both you and his wife trail behind, concerned for your respective spouses.
>How could you not be worried about them?
>You knew those two would somehow make one heck of a team on the debate floor, but oh goodness were they slammed by their opponents.
>You think you're starting to see where minotaurs get their bad reputation from...
>No!
>No, don't think like that!
>"Honey?" Mrs. Augustulus calls out, mindful of her volume. "Are you sure about staying here for this long?"
>"You know it must be done, my dear."
>"You've been working so hard these last few days, I-I'm..."
>"We're committed now, my love. Reneging now would be a terrible misstep."
>Right now, you're just expecting Cadance to--
>Yep, there she goes.
>She flew up a little bit and laid herself out along your back.
>"Shiiinyyyyy..." she groans, tired as can be.
"We'll be there soon."
>Geez, Mr. Augustulus was really dragging his heels now.
>Was today so much worse than you thought?
>Mercifully, none of you have much longer to go, reaching your respective suites quickly.
>Both him and Cadance arranged for the suites to be opposite to each other, once again without you or Mrs. Augustulus's input.
>Here you thought she was getting better with impulse control, but this human really brings it out of her...!
>And you still don't know all that much about their relationship!
>She never brought it up at all before now, so what gives?
>Speaking of her, she's out like a light, snoring right into your ear.
>Mr. Augustulus shuffles in through his door, while Mrs. Augustulus stops for a moment and turns back to you.
>"What are we going to do with them?"
"You're telling me."
>If nothing else, his wife has been nothing short of understanding and relatable.
>Not at all what you expected, but then again, you hardly expected Mr. Augustulus either...
>"So, did you get that extension sorted out?"
"Yeah. Goddess knows these two are gonna need it."
>"Oh that's a relief, at least."
"The hard part's keeping these two apart long enough to sleep in!"
>"No kidding. Still, it's hard to believe these two just know each other this well. He's never mentioned either of you before now!"
"I was just thinking the same thing. She never brought him up at all."
>"Hmm. Well, maybe when we have a spare moment tomorrow, we could take a few moments to talk about this over some tea?"
"Oh, that sounds great. Goodness knows we need some kind of plan for these two."
>"You've got that right," she says, rolling her eyes. "Have a nice night, Mr. Armour."
"You too, Mrs. Augustulus."
>She heads into her suite with one last smile, leaving you to carry Cadance into your suite and onto the bed.
>Of course, all your plans to wash up for the night went out the window when she started clinging to you.
>"Mmmmm no, don't go..."
>Despite your eyes rolling, you can't help but smile at the display even after all this time.
>You slide all of her golden princess items off with practiced ease, and tuck the pair of you into bed.
>Yet you can't help but worry about how Flurry and that rude young man are doing...
...
RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING
>"Aaaaaaugh!"
"Seriously?!"
>Six o'clock sharp again.
>"Time to wake up, you two," Twilight's visitized voice calls out, far less cheery than yesterday. "Remember, breakfast is served at 7 o'clock. Don't be late."
>Yeah you know what, you're just gonna get up now before any other myriad bullshit happens.
>Looks like your roommate had the same idea, jumping up and heading straight for her bathroom.
>You follow suit towards your own, once again lost in your thoughts as you shower away yesterday's events.
>God, that fucking princess.
>She had some fucking nerve, claiming it was you and the fucking Dominion that was getting all the fucking gibs they could get their hands on.
>Like your country hadn't worked hard to stay independent, in both resources and politics.
>It went against everything you knew about how ponies ran the show of geopolitics.
>Just come on, look at all the interspecies relationships that feature ponies!
>Especially the ones in the political elite, shacked right up to other foreign elites!
>It was so fucking good that the thaumputer was working then and there, because it was stupid simple to pull up your sources.
>You thought it'd be stupid simple to prove her wrong.
>And to be fair, you did.
>She got all indignant and resisted of course, and there you were, feeling smug as all hell.
>Right up until she pulled her own sources up and had you look over them.
>Turns out, you were both right.
>You have no fucking idea where she even thought to dig up those pages on the senators, but her sources were damn solid.
>More surprising was the military council and even a couple of church leaders, all taking part in Equestrian gib leeching.
>She in turn was fucking floored by all the shit you pulled up on the Canterlot nobility, and even some Crystal Empire noble houses.
>Shit got real, and you both wound up digging deeper and deeper into this for what must've been a couple of hours.
>And wouldn't you know it, there was a common connecting thread between the back-and-forth gib thieves.
>Mr. Augustulus shoves one of the double doors open, while Cadance shoves the other one open at the same time.
>Both you and Mrs. Augustulus quickly follow them out of the debating chamber, and on their route towards the castle suites.
>It's only when they're several yards away from the debate floor that their exhaustion shows through fully on their faces.
>"Good God, Candy. I didn't think old Steel Wrench's aides could drag things out like that."
>"Whew, you said it, Nito. I don't even think I can talk about my idea today..."
>"Nor do I think I could fully appreciate it in my state. I'm sorry."
>"No no, don't be."
>The two of them sigh simultaneously, while both you and his wife trail behind, concerned for your respective spouses.
>How could you not be worried about them?
>You knew those two would somehow make one heck of a team on the debate floor, but oh goodness were they slammed by their opponents.
>You think you're starting to see where minotaurs get their bad reputation from...
>No!
>No, don't think like that!
>"Honey?" Mrs. Augustulus calls out, mindful of her volume. "Are you sure about staying here for this long?"
>"You know it must be done, my dear."
>"You've been working so hard these last few days, I-I'm..."
>"We're committed now, my love. Reneging now would be a terrible misstep."
>Right now, you're just expecting Cadance to--
>Yep, there she goes.
>She flew up a little bit and laid herself out along your back.
>"Shiiinyyyyy..." she groans, tired as can be.
"We'll be there soon."
>Geez, Mr. Augustulus was really dragging his heels now.
>Was today so much worse than you thought?
>Mercifully, none of you have much longer to go, reaching your respective suites quickly.
>Both him and Cadance arranged for the suites to be opposite to each other, once again without you or Mrs. Augustulus's input.
>Here you thought she was getting better with impulse control, but this human really brings it out of her...!
>And you still don't know all that much about their relationship!
>She never brought it up at all before now, so what gives?
>Speaking of her, she's out like a light, snoring right into your ear.
>Mr. Augustulus shuffles in through his door, while Mrs. Augustulus stops for a moment and turns back to you.
>"What are we going to do with them?"
"You're telling me."
>If nothing else, his wife has been nothing short of understanding and relatable.
>Not at all what you expected, but then again, you hardly expected Mr. Augustulus either...
>"So, did you get that extension sorted out?"
"Yeah. Goddess knows these two are gonna need it."
>"Oh that's a relief, at least."
"The hard part's keeping these two apart long enough to sleep in!"
>"No kidding. Still, it's hard to believe these two just know each other this well. He's never mentioned either of you before now!"
"I was just thinking the same thing. She never brought him up at all."
>"Hmm. Well, maybe when we have a spare moment tomorrow, we could take a few moments to talk about this over some tea?"
"Oh, that sounds great. Goodness knows we need some kind of plan for these two."
>"You've got that right," she says, rolling her eyes. "Have a nice night, Mr. Armour."
"You too, Mrs. Augustulus."
>She heads into her suite with one last smile, leaving you to carry Cadance into your suite and onto the bed.
>Of course, all your plans to wash up for the night went out the window when she started clinging to you.
>"Mmmmm no, don't go..."
>Despite your eyes rolling, you can't help but smile at the display even after all this time.
>You slide all of her golden princess items off with practiced ease, and tuck the pair of you into bed.
>Yet you can't help but worry about how Flurry and that rude young man are doing...
...
RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING
>"Aaaaaaugh!"
"Seriously?!"
>Six o'clock sharp again.
>"Time to wake up, you two," Twilight's visitized voice calls out, far less cheery than yesterday. "Remember, breakfast is served at 7 o'clock. Don't be late."
>Yeah you know what, you're just gonna get up now before any other myriad bullshit happens.
>Looks like your roommate had the same idea, jumping up and heading straight for her bathroom.
>You follow suit towards your own, once again lost in your thoughts as you shower away yesterday's events.
>God, that fucking princess.
>She had some fucking nerve, claiming it was you and the fucking Dominion that was getting all the fucking gibs they could get their hands on.
>Like your country hadn't worked hard to stay independent, in both resources and politics.
>It went against everything you knew about how ponies ran the show of geopolitics.
>Just come on, look at all the interspecies relationships that feature ponies!
>Especially the ones in the political elite, shacked right up to other foreign elites!
>It was so fucking good that the thaumputer was working then and there, because it was stupid simple to pull up your sources.
>You thought it'd be stupid simple to prove her wrong.
>And to be fair, you did.
>She got all indignant and resisted of course, and there you were, feeling smug as all hell.
>Right up until she pulled her own sources up and had you look over them.
>Turns out, you were both right.
>You have no fucking idea where she even thought to dig up those pages on the senators, but her sources were damn solid.
>More surprising was the military council and even a couple of church leaders, all taking part in Equestrian gib leeching.
>She in turn was fucking floored by all the shit you pulled up on the Canterlot nobility, and even some Crystal Empire noble houses.
>Shit got real, and you both wound up digging deeper and deeper into this for what must've been a couple of hours.
>And wouldn't you know it, there was a common connecting thread between the back-and-forth gib thieves.
>>207448
>The connecting thread?
>Griffons.
>Fucking griffons.
>Nearly every single one of those political relationships had griffon names attached to them; middlemen, negotiators, lawyers, collectors, griffons in all kinds of positions!
>Always tucked away in the fine print, doing all the background stuff.
>Taking nice little cuts of the gibs that get shuttled back and forth between nations.
>And it wasn't just between the Dominion and Equestria, either.
>You'd found some connections to the Federation, to Yakyakistan, to the dragon lands, even one to the fucking arimaspi!
>That was all you two did before deciding to call it quits for the night.
>Holy shit, though.
>How the actual fuck do those big-nosed catbird fucks worm their way into literally everything like that?
>How are the memes about them so fucking real?
>Just...
>Fuck, man!
>No you know what, that's enough about the fucking griffons for now.
>You jump out of the shower and go about the remaining two steps of the S3 plan, finally getting dressed in your last set of dress shirt and pants.
>After that, you're down to hoodie and sweats.
>They better have fucking laundry done around here.
>Seriously, would it kill Twilight to staff this fucking place?
>Place is chock full of free space, and it goes fucking unused!
>Ugh, whatever.
>You head out of the bathroom, and find your roommate already hanging by the door with a gray hoodie thrown on.
>Seriously, what's with her and clothes?
>Oh whatever, just head for the door--
>"Hey, hold up for a second."
>Oh God what does she want now?
"Hm?"
>"Listen, neither of us wants to be here, right?"
"That's an understatement. Let me guess, calling for a truce?"
>"Temporary truce. Just bullshit Twilight for a bit, make her think we're friends or something, and we'll be outta here in no time."
"Yeah, if Murphy's taught me anything, it's that nothing's ever that simple."
>"You got a better plan?"
"Yeah, get her to alter her plans so she's not around to bother us."
>"Pffft, yeah, Twilight changing her plans. Good luck with that."
"Okay, and she's the literal princess of, y'know, friendship. Pretty sure she can tell real friends from fake."
>"We're not friends."
"I don't remember saying we were."
>"And we're not gonna be friends."
"Oh how I'd love for that to stay that way."
>"It's gonna stay that way!"
"With your aunt, your mom, and my dad demanding otherwise?"
>"I don't give a shit what they want!"
"Wish I could stop giving a shit about what they want, too. Really do."
>"Look, I--!"
RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING
>The pair of you groan at the interruption.
>"It's six-fifty, you two," comes Twilight's annoyed, disembodied voice, "Hurry it up."
"Tell me she can't hear us."
>"Oh she used to, until my dad gave her shit for it."
>That's a snort from you.
>"Look, just don't piss her off today, all right?"
"Don't have a lot of choice there."
>"And don't get any funny ideas about being friends."
"Friends? And here I thought it was gonna be about gibs."
>"That too," she says, eyes narrowed.
"I'll grant you the no gibs business," you shoot back.
>"Good."
"My sentiments exactly," you say, pushing the door open. "I need some goddamn food."
>"Yeah, I hear that."
>So off you go, your disgruntled 'companion' in tow.
>She was making one hell of an effort to stay beside you, never once going in front.
>Who the hell knows what she's thinking with that shit.
>The table comes into view, a mildly annoyed Twilight and a very disgruntled Starlight there, along with an unamused Spike.
>All the food was already laid out: pancakes from the looks of things.
>They better be real ones with eggs in the mix, none of that buttermilk horseshit.
>Wordlessly, you seat yourself next to your cellmate, who immediately TKs some food over for herself.
>You meanwhile, take stock of the situation.
>Okay Anon, think this over.
>This is all just diplomacy bullfuckery at it's core.
>Try to start things out on some measure of a good note.
"So, how's everyone doing this morning?"
>Starlight frowns even deeper.
>Well, the key word was try.
>"Not bad, Anon," Twilight says with a smile, your politician senses giving it away as a total lie. "What about yourself?"
"Can't say it's good, but hey, better than yesterday."
>You at least can retain some measure of honesty.
"So, what's on the table for today? Y'know, literally and figuratively."
>Okay good, she believes she's getting through to you.
>Pretty sure Spike doesn't believe your about-face, and he's got every right to disbelieve it.
>"Well, I made us all some nice buttermilk pancakes."
>God fucking damn it she couldn't even get that right she's so fucking lucky you're starving half to death right now or she'd be getting a faceful of fucking syrup.
"Oh really? That sounds good," you lie with a smile, really flexing those politician skills. "Mind passing me some?"
>"Sure," she smiles back, totally believing you.
>Yeah, you think you've just figured out why you've never seen her in international politics before.
>Well, besides her habit of lasering everything with her magic.
>You've seen the vids.
>Anyways, you get a plateful of the disgusting fucking 'pancakes', and proceed to slather them in copious amounts of butter, sugar and syrup.
>God damn it they're dry like only buttermilk can be and it won't even fill you for the day all you can do is drown it in pure sugar Jesus fuck why.
>Just choke it down and pray for something better later.
>As long as it's not fucking meat brought to you by Starlight there, anything's fucking better than this.
>Sod, that is not your cue to fucking jinx it you absolute shitstain.
>"Do you not know what we're doing today, Anon?"
"I do not."
>"Hrmph," she frowns.
>She's still mad about that?
>Has to be autistic, this one.
>The connecting thread?
>Griffons.
>Fucking griffons.
>Nearly every single one of those political relationships had griffon names attached to them; middlemen, negotiators, lawyers, collectors, griffons in all kinds of positions!
>Always tucked away in the fine print, doing all the background stuff.
>Taking nice little cuts of the gibs that get shuttled back and forth between nations.
>And it wasn't just between the Dominion and Equestria, either.
>You'd found some connections to the Federation, to Yakyakistan, to the dragon lands, even one to the fucking arimaspi!
>That was all you two did before deciding to call it quits for the night.
>Holy shit, though.
>How the actual fuck do those big-nosed catbird fucks worm their way into literally everything like that?
>How are the memes about them so fucking real?
>Just...
>Fuck, man!
>No you know what, that's enough about the fucking griffons for now.
>You jump out of the shower and go about the remaining two steps of the S3 plan, finally getting dressed in your last set of dress shirt and pants.
>After that, you're down to hoodie and sweats.
>They better have fucking laundry done around here.
>Seriously, would it kill Twilight to staff this fucking place?
>Place is chock full of free space, and it goes fucking unused!
>Ugh, whatever.
>You head out of the bathroom, and find your roommate already hanging by the door with a gray hoodie thrown on.
>Seriously, what's with her and clothes?
>Oh whatever, just head for the door--
>"Hey, hold up for a second."
>Oh God what does she want now?
"Hm?"
>"Listen, neither of us wants to be here, right?"
"That's an understatement. Let me guess, calling for a truce?"
>"Temporary truce. Just bullshit Twilight for a bit, make her think we're friends or something, and we'll be outta here in no time."
"Yeah, if Murphy's taught me anything, it's that nothing's ever that simple."
>"You got a better plan?"
"Yeah, get her to alter her plans so she's not around to bother us."
>"Pffft, yeah, Twilight changing her plans. Good luck with that."
"Okay, and she's the literal princess of, y'know, friendship. Pretty sure she can tell real friends from fake."
>"We're not friends."
"I don't remember saying we were."
>"And we're not gonna be friends."
"Oh how I'd love for that to stay that way."
>"It's gonna stay that way!"
"With your aunt, your mom, and my dad demanding otherwise?"
>"I don't give a shit what they want!"
"Wish I could stop giving a shit about what they want, too. Really do."
>"Look, I--!"
RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING
>The pair of you groan at the interruption.
>"It's six-fifty, you two," comes Twilight's annoyed, disembodied voice, "Hurry it up."
"Tell me she can't hear us."
>"Oh she used to, until my dad gave her shit for it."
>That's a snort from you.
>"Look, just don't piss her off today, all right?"
"Don't have a lot of choice there."
>"And don't get any funny ideas about being friends."
"Friends? And here I thought it was gonna be about gibs."
>"That too," she says, eyes narrowed.
"I'll grant you the no gibs business," you shoot back.
>"Good."
"My sentiments exactly," you say, pushing the door open. "I need some goddamn food."
>"Yeah, I hear that."
>So off you go, your disgruntled 'companion' in tow.
>She was making one hell of an effort to stay beside you, never once going in front.
>Who the hell knows what she's thinking with that shit.
>The table comes into view, a mildly annoyed Twilight and a very disgruntled Starlight there, along with an unamused Spike.
>All the food was already laid out: pancakes from the looks of things.
>They better be real ones with eggs in the mix, none of that buttermilk horseshit.
>Wordlessly, you seat yourself next to your cellmate, who immediately TKs some food over for herself.
>You meanwhile, take stock of the situation.
>Okay Anon, think this over.
>This is all just diplomacy bullfuckery at it's core.
>Try to start things out on some measure of a good note.
"So, how's everyone doing this morning?"
>Starlight frowns even deeper.
>Well, the key word was try.
>"Not bad, Anon," Twilight says with a smile, your politician senses giving it away as a total lie. "What about yourself?"
"Can't say it's good, but hey, better than yesterday."
>You at least can retain some measure of honesty.
"So, what's on the table for today? Y'know, literally and figuratively."
>Okay good, she believes she's getting through to you.
>Pretty sure Spike doesn't believe your about-face, and he's got every right to disbelieve it.
>"Well, I made us all some nice buttermilk pancakes."
>God fucking damn it she couldn't even get that right she's so fucking lucky you're starving half to death right now or she'd be getting a faceful of fucking syrup.
"Oh really? That sounds good," you lie with a smile, really flexing those politician skills. "Mind passing me some?"
>"Sure," she smiles back, totally believing you.
>Yeah, you think you've just figured out why you've never seen her in international politics before.
>Well, besides her habit of lasering everything with her magic.
>You've seen the vids.
>Anyways, you get a plateful of the disgusting fucking 'pancakes', and proceed to slather them in copious amounts of butter, sugar and syrup.
>God damn it they're dry like only buttermilk can be and it won't even fill you for the day all you can do is drown it in pure sugar Jesus fuck why.
>Just choke it down and pray for something better later.
>As long as it's not fucking meat brought to you by Starlight there, anything's fucking better than this.
>Sod, that is not your cue to fucking jinx it you absolute shitstain.
>"Do you not know what we're doing today, Anon?"
"I do not."
>"Hrmph," she frowns.
>She's still mad about that?
>Has to be autistic, this one.
>>207450
>"We'll be going out to the lake for some swimming today."
>Nani the fuck?
>Something that's actually remotely taxing on your body?
>Holy shit, say it ain't so!
>Your cohort, meanwhile, catches her spit-take in a field of magic before it can cause any damage.
>"Seriously, Twilight?!"
>"Yes, seriously."
>"Oh there's no way in Tartarus I'm going to--!"
>"Flurry," she intones, very clearly taking no shit from her.
>She in turn headdesks with a mighty groan.
"Sounds good to me," you say, this time being genuine. "Even if I didn't pack for that."
>You'll make it work.
>"I've already made arrangements for that. We'll be stopping in town first to get some swimwear for you two."
>Oh, okay.
>Wait, what?
"You got that sorted out?"
>"I made sure to get your measurements from your parents."
>Well that's not creepy at all.
"So when do we leave?"
>"Eight."
>Works for you.
"Alright."
>Through some Herculean feat of willpower and digestive control, you choke down your plate of sugar encrusted junk with a straight face and waste no time in reaching for the milk and newspaper to take your mind off of it.
>Okay, let's see here...
>'Canterlot Hearthswarming Summit Extended by Princess Celestia'
>Not by her choice, you'd bet.
>Man, mom's gonna be so pissed when you see her again.
>Ugh.
>'Groundbreaking Summit With Arimaspi Diplomat Confirmed, Set for Appleoosa'
>Oh Jesus Christ it's the same fucking arimaspi you read about last night that had griffons involved.
>Do they have some kind of fucking mind control magic that lets them control even those bloodthirsty fucking animals?
>Now that's a scary thought if you've ever had one.
>Moving right along.
>'Dominion of Man Alleged to Acquire Badlands Oil Exploration Rights'
>Confirmed acquired, despite all the senatorial autistic screeching.
>Those environmentalist hacks can call when they've got a better alternative to magic than electricity.
>Until then, they're fucking leeches in the senate.
>Eternal fucking lobbyist whiners, backed by fucking griffons.
>Seriously, how did she figure that out before you did?
>The rest of the paper is a whole lot of nothing, though that one pony author raving against the kirin again is funny shit.
>Still fucking mad that they're stealing the 'fuck their way through geopolitics' spotlight away from the ponies.
>That's the dragon in the kirin talking right there.
>Well known fact about dragons: they can knock up whoever the fuck they want, species be damned.
>Usually don't turn out as freaky a hybrid as the kirin wound up being, but that's a whole different breed of speculative brain fuckery you want no part of.
>Point is, they kept the universal breeding perk.
>Unlike dragons though, the mares can do it too.
>Meaning they can pull the old pony trick of milking out child support gibs without a single lick of freaky magic or questionable zebra alchemy.
>Top that off with the old dragon trick?
>And total control over the demon spawn's species?
>And that people seem to find their chicks hotter than ponies?
>Yeah, they really got around after they broke that silence pact bullshit.
>Weirdly enough, they had almost no griffons pulling their strings.
>Probably because the fucking catbirds can't offer shit that'll top what they've already got, no doubt.
>Wait, is that why these op-eds get published so much?
>Uh-oh, more research for later, you think.
>Well, that'll be fun.
>You sit on a bench in the foyer in sweet blissful silence, your cellmate laying down across the bench opposite yours with her own paper.
>At least she knows the value of silence here.
>Soon enough though, Twilight rolls in with her bags on.
>"Ready to go?" she chirps.
>"No."
"Yeah."
>"Well all right then, let's get going!"
>"Uuuugh."
>Geez, she can't even fake excitement, huh?
>Not sure if that's her problem, or a fucking pony thing.
>Whatever, don't care.
>The three of you walk out into the small town, Ponyville according to the sign.
>Ponyville, really?
>Last you checked, 'Humanshire' wasn't exactly a popular town name.
>Sure lives up to it's name though, you'll give it that: it's all ponies as far as you can see.
>The walk goes smoothly enough, though you do get the expected number of looks.
>Yeah, you're just gonna go ahead and keep your prince status here under wraps if at all possible.
>Don't need them getting any funny ideas.
>Your stop is some clothes place that looks like a fucking carousel of all things, and stepping in immediately assaults you with 'high class fashion' vibes.
>Oh God almighty, the owner's gonna be a total fucking snob, just watch.
>"Just a momeeeeent~!" some chick's voice calls.
>Oh yeah, snobbimus equus maximus.
>And walking from out back is some white unicorn, all styled up.
>"Twilight!" she gasps, "Oh, it's wonderful to see you again!"
>The two close the gap and hug it out.
>"Likewise, Rarity!"
>'Rarity'?
>Oh good Lord, here we fucking go.
>"My, you seem so tense darling! You absolutely must come with me to the spa this week!"
>She gets some uncertain laughter in response, while the white horse breaks the hug to look at the other white horse that rode in with you.
>"Lovely to see you again too, Flurry Heart!"
>"Mmhmm."
>"Ah-ah-ah~!"
>"Oh, for--!"
>She clears her throat and changes her tone:
>"It's lovely to see you too, Rarity."
>"Much better, darling!"
>Okay, if she can make Princess Twatsalot there bend like that, you're putting the deflector shields to fucking maximum.
>This 'Rarity' takes one look at you, and gives that all-too-familiar gasp of 'oh my word, a famous person is in my shop!'.
>"Oh my word, is that the young prince you told me about?!"
>Every fucking time.
>"That he is," Twilight confirms.
>"We'll be going out to the lake for some swimming today."
>Nani the fuck?
>Something that's actually remotely taxing on your body?
>Holy shit, say it ain't so!
>Your cohort, meanwhile, catches her spit-take in a field of magic before it can cause any damage.
>"Seriously, Twilight?!"
>"Yes, seriously."
>"Oh there's no way in Tartarus I'm going to--!"
>"Flurry," she intones, very clearly taking no shit from her.
>She in turn headdesks with a mighty groan.
"Sounds good to me," you say, this time being genuine. "Even if I didn't pack for that."
>You'll make it work.
>"I've already made arrangements for that. We'll be stopping in town first to get some swimwear for you two."
>Oh, okay.
>Wait, what?
"You got that sorted out?"
>"I made sure to get your measurements from your parents."
>Well that's not creepy at all.
"So when do we leave?"
>"Eight."
>Works for you.
"Alright."
>Through some Herculean feat of willpower and digestive control, you choke down your plate of sugar encrusted junk with a straight face and waste no time in reaching for the milk and newspaper to take your mind off of it.
>Okay, let's see here...
>'Canterlot Hearthswarming Summit Extended by Princess Celestia'
>Not by her choice, you'd bet.
>Man, mom's gonna be so pissed when you see her again.
>Ugh.
>'Groundbreaking Summit With Arimaspi Diplomat Confirmed, Set for Appleoosa'
>Oh Jesus Christ it's the same fucking arimaspi you read about last night that had griffons involved.
>Do they have some kind of fucking mind control magic that lets them control even those bloodthirsty fucking animals?
>Now that's a scary thought if you've ever had one.
>Moving right along.
>'Dominion of Man Alleged to Acquire Badlands Oil Exploration Rights'
>Confirmed acquired, despite all the senatorial autistic screeching.
>Those environmentalist hacks can call when they've got a better alternative to magic than electricity.
>Until then, they're fucking leeches in the senate.
>Eternal fucking lobbyist whiners, backed by fucking griffons.
>Seriously, how did she figure that out before you did?
>The rest of the paper is a whole lot of nothing, though that one pony author raving against the kirin again is funny shit.
>Still fucking mad that they're stealing the 'fuck their way through geopolitics' spotlight away from the ponies.
>That's the dragon in the kirin talking right there.
>Well known fact about dragons: they can knock up whoever the fuck they want, species be damned.
>Usually don't turn out as freaky a hybrid as the kirin wound up being, but that's a whole different breed of speculative brain fuckery you want no part of.
>Point is, they kept the universal breeding perk.
>Unlike dragons though, the mares can do it too.
>Meaning they can pull the old pony trick of milking out child support gibs without a single lick of freaky magic or questionable zebra alchemy.
>Top that off with the old dragon trick?
>And total control over the demon spawn's species?
>And that people seem to find their chicks hotter than ponies?
>Yeah, they really got around after they broke that silence pact bullshit.
>Weirdly enough, they had almost no griffons pulling their strings.
>Probably because the fucking catbirds can't offer shit that'll top what they've already got, no doubt.
>Wait, is that why these op-eds get published so much?
>Uh-oh, more research for later, you think.
>Well, that'll be fun.
>You sit on a bench in the foyer in sweet blissful silence, your cellmate laying down across the bench opposite yours with her own paper.
>At least she knows the value of silence here.
>Soon enough though, Twilight rolls in with her bags on.
>"Ready to go?" she chirps.
>"No."
"Yeah."
>"Well all right then, let's get going!"
>"Uuuugh."
>Geez, she can't even fake excitement, huh?
>Not sure if that's her problem, or a fucking pony thing.
>Whatever, don't care.
>The three of you walk out into the small town, Ponyville according to the sign.
>Ponyville, really?
>Last you checked, 'Humanshire' wasn't exactly a popular town name.
>Sure lives up to it's name though, you'll give it that: it's all ponies as far as you can see.
>The walk goes smoothly enough, though you do get the expected number of looks.
>Yeah, you're just gonna go ahead and keep your prince status here under wraps if at all possible.
>Don't need them getting any funny ideas.
>Your stop is some clothes place that looks like a fucking carousel of all things, and stepping in immediately assaults you with 'high class fashion' vibes.
>Oh God almighty, the owner's gonna be a total fucking snob, just watch.
>"Just a momeeeeent~!" some chick's voice calls.
>Oh yeah, snobbimus equus maximus.
>And walking from out back is some white unicorn, all styled up.
>"Twilight!" she gasps, "Oh, it's wonderful to see you again!"
>The two close the gap and hug it out.
>"Likewise, Rarity!"
>'Rarity'?
>Oh good Lord, here we fucking go.
>"My, you seem so tense darling! You absolutely must come with me to the spa this week!"
>She gets some uncertain laughter in response, while the white horse breaks the hug to look at the other white horse that rode in with you.
>"Lovely to see you again too, Flurry Heart!"
>"Mmhmm."
>"Ah-ah-ah~!"
>"Oh, for--!"
>She clears her throat and changes her tone:
>"It's lovely to see you too, Rarity."
>"Much better, darling!"
>Okay, if she can make Princess Twatsalot there bend like that, you're putting the deflector shields to fucking maximum.
>This 'Rarity' takes one look at you, and gives that all-too-familiar gasp of 'oh my word, a famous person is in my shop!'.
>"Oh my word, is that the young prince you told me about?!"
>Every fucking time.
>"That he is," Twilight confirms.
>>207451
>In that instant, the white horse walks her way up towards you, grabbing your hand and shaking it without ever asking.
>"Welcome to the Carousel Boutique, Mr. Augustulus! My name is Rarity!"
>God you fucking hate it when they do the 'Mr.' business with you.
"Just Anon will do, thank you."
>"Oh I'm sorry, but I simply cannot do that, darling! Just think of the impropriety of it!"
>Okay you're getting annoyed now.
>"Oh, heya Flurry," another voice calls from behind the counter.
>"Hi, Sweetie," said princess calls back to it's source.
>Another white pony, definitely related to the one annoying you, only somehow without getting the annoying genes.
>You can tell just by looking.
>"Heya Twilight," she calls to the pony in question before looking over at you with the expected curiosity. "And who're you, mister?"
"Name's--"
>"This, Sweetie Belle," the annoying pony calls back with that special undertone of indignation you hate so very very much, "Is the crown prince of the Dominion of Mankind!"
>"Oh yeah, you said something about a prince coming by."
>"And Mr. Augustulus will be addressed as such while he is here, Sweetie Belle!"
>And that other pony, she just looks at the annoying one with the most perfect unamused look.
>She doesn't even have to say anything when she looks over at you.
"Name's Anon."
>"Sweetie Belle," she replies. "Nice to meet you, Anon."
"Yeah, you too."
>There's something about flustering these upper-crust types that's so very satisfying.
>"Guess you're here for the swim suits, huh?"
"So I've been told."
>"Be right back."
>Off she goes, the picture of understanding your pain.
>So nice to meet a fellow professional.
>"W-well," that Rarity starts, "I can hardly just leave things at this, Mr. Augustulus! Twilight, darling, you don't have to go right away, do you?"
>"I've only got about thirteen minutes free, Rarity."
>"Seven! Seven is all I ask for!"
>Oh God, the white one's got that fucking glint in her eyes.
>You see your cellmate smirk off to the side, a smirk that quickly vanishes when that Rarity looks her way.
>"And I haven't forgotten about that dress I promised you, Flurry Heart!"
>Somehow you don't think that instant karma was worth it.
>"Darling, you simply must let me make something for you!" Rarity says, whipping right back to you.
>Oh God no tailors are the literal worst.
>Definitely not worth it.
"In seven minutes?"
>"Yes!" she proclaims far more enthusiastically than necessary.
>Whoahkay, that look in her eye's bordering on crazy.
>And oh great, fucking Twilight's looking over with that smug ass look of hers, like she expects you to just roll with it.
>Fucking fantastic.
>"I'm back," your fucking saviour Sweetie Belle calls out, folded suits in tow.
>Elastic shirt to go with the elastic shorts--
>Oh God almighty that's gonna put your fucking package on display for everyone and their mother to see.
>No, absolutely not.
>Mama may have fucked up a lot, but she didn't raise no faggot.
>As if sensing your objection, Sweetie TKs a pair of similarly styled trunks out with a conciliatory look.
>You barely know this fucking horse and already she's your fucking hero.
>No idea what your cellmate got, and to be honest you don't really care.
>"Lovely, Sweetie Belle!" the ever-annoying Rarity chirps. "Now, I'll need your help with making our guest some attire fit for a prince!"
>Fuck, Sweetie's look just screams 'sorry man, can't help you outta this one'.
>Guess that's as good as you're gonna get.
"Alright," you somehow avoid groaning, "Where is this happening?"
>"Aha, straight to the point already! Right this way, Mr. Augustulus!"
>You swear to God she just gave you a little telekinetic nudge to follow after her.
>Motherfucking--
>No.
>Settle down, Anon.
>Seven minutes is all she can spare to play with you.
>That's nothing compared to the half hour mom made you suffer through at that Godforsaken 'popular tailor'.
>You can handle this.
>Though you do give Sweetie a little sign of 'time it for me', and she got the pocket stopwatch ready to roll.
>Now that's customer service.
>Prisoner service.
>Oh, whatever.
>What follows after you take center stage in a big circular room is damn near a storm of floating measures, fabrics and God only knows what else as that Rarity performs whatever unholy ritual she's prepared for the dark gods of envy here.
>Though mercifully, she does make whatever final results there are on a manikin, the kind that you can resize with magic.
>Which she does with frightening detail, even down to the muscle definition.
>So that's what the calipers were for, huh?
>Is this a fashion store, or a fucking cloning lab?
>"Aaaaaand presto~!" she proclaims, showing her creation off with a flourish.
>It's...
>Uhh, hold up.
>That actually doesn't look half bad.
>It definitely resembles a military suit, especially in the shoulders, but this one actually looks half decent.
>All white, gold buttons, nice understated pockets, even some gold vine patterns on the edges of those shoulder pad things.
>But the biggest standout had to be that little red cape that draped straight from the right shoulder pad down to the waist, with the Dominion insignia in black near the bottom of it.
"Wow."
>"Is it to your liking, Mr. Augustulus?"
"I, uh... yeah, actually."
>It's like what dad wears all the time, except far fucking better.
>His is well-worn and in light gray, with a small selection of medals and no cool thin capes.
>Good luck making him change his suit though, though God only knows this horse would try.
>"Ohh that is so wonderful to hear, darling!"
>Okay, so this horse is also unlike the tailor that shall not be named in that she has actual talent.
>And took, what, only five minutes?
>That's actually kind of impressive, not gonna lie.
>In that instant, the white horse walks her way up towards you, grabbing your hand and shaking it without ever asking.
>"Welcome to the Carousel Boutique, Mr. Augustulus! My name is Rarity!"
>God you fucking hate it when they do the 'Mr.' business with you.
"Just Anon will do, thank you."
>"Oh I'm sorry, but I simply cannot do that, darling! Just think of the impropriety of it!"
>Okay you're getting annoyed now.
>"Oh, heya Flurry," another voice calls from behind the counter.
>"Hi, Sweetie," said princess calls back to it's source.
>Another white pony, definitely related to the one annoying you, only somehow without getting the annoying genes.
>You can tell just by looking.
>"Heya Twilight," she calls to the pony in question before looking over at you with the expected curiosity. "And who're you, mister?"
"Name's--"
>"This, Sweetie Belle," the annoying pony calls back with that special undertone of indignation you hate so very very much, "Is the crown prince of the Dominion of Mankind!"
>"Oh yeah, you said something about a prince coming by."
>"And Mr. Augustulus will be addressed as such while he is here, Sweetie Belle!"
>And that other pony, she just looks at the annoying one with the most perfect unamused look.
>She doesn't even have to say anything when she looks over at you.
"Name's Anon."
>"Sweetie Belle," she replies. "Nice to meet you, Anon."
"Yeah, you too."
>There's something about flustering these upper-crust types that's so very satisfying.
>"Guess you're here for the swim suits, huh?"
"So I've been told."
>"Be right back."
>Off she goes, the picture of understanding your pain.
>So nice to meet a fellow professional.
>"W-well," that Rarity starts, "I can hardly just leave things at this, Mr. Augustulus! Twilight, darling, you don't have to go right away, do you?"
>"I've only got about thirteen minutes free, Rarity."
>"Seven! Seven is all I ask for!"
>Oh God, the white one's got that fucking glint in her eyes.
>You see your cellmate smirk off to the side, a smirk that quickly vanishes when that Rarity looks her way.
>"And I haven't forgotten about that dress I promised you, Flurry Heart!"
>Somehow you don't think that instant karma was worth it.
>"Darling, you simply must let me make something for you!" Rarity says, whipping right back to you.
>Oh God no tailors are the literal worst.
>Definitely not worth it.
"In seven minutes?"
>"Yes!" she proclaims far more enthusiastically than necessary.
>Whoahkay, that look in her eye's bordering on crazy.
>And oh great, fucking Twilight's looking over with that smug ass look of hers, like she expects you to just roll with it.
>Fucking fantastic.
>"I'm back," your fucking saviour Sweetie Belle calls out, folded suits in tow.
>Elastic shirt to go with the elastic shorts--
>Oh God almighty that's gonna put your fucking package on display for everyone and their mother to see.
>No, absolutely not.
>Mama may have fucked up a lot, but she didn't raise no faggot.
>As if sensing your objection, Sweetie TKs a pair of similarly styled trunks out with a conciliatory look.
>You barely know this fucking horse and already she's your fucking hero.
>No idea what your cellmate got, and to be honest you don't really care.
>"Lovely, Sweetie Belle!" the ever-annoying Rarity chirps. "Now, I'll need your help with making our guest some attire fit for a prince!"
>Fuck, Sweetie's look just screams 'sorry man, can't help you outta this one'.
>Guess that's as good as you're gonna get.
"Alright," you somehow avoid groaning, "Where is this happening?"
>"Aha, straight to the point already! Right this way, Mr. Augustulus!"
>You swear to God she just gave you a little telekinetic nudge to follow after her.
>Motherfucking--
>No.
>Settle down, Anon.
>Seven minutes is all she can spare to play with you.
>That's nothing compared to the half hour mom made you suffer through at that Godforsaken 'popular tailor'.
>You can handle this.
>Though you do give Sweetie a little sign of 'time it for me', and she got the pocket stopwatch ready to roll.
>Now that's customer service.
>Prisoner service.
>Oh, whatever.
>What follows after you take center stage in a big circular room is damn near a storm of floating measures, fabrics and God only knows what else as that Rarity performs whatever unholy ritual she's prepared for the dark gods of envy here.
>Though mercifully, she does make whatever final results there are on a manikin, the kind that you can resize with magic.
>Which she does with frightening detail, even down to the muscle definition.
>So that's what the calipers were for, huh?
>Is this a fashion store, or a fucking cloning lab?
>"Aaaaaand presto~!" she proclaims, showing her creation off with a flourish.
>It's...
>Uhh, hold up.
>That actually doesn't look half bad.
>It definitely resembles a military suit, especially in the shoulders, but this one actually looks half decent.
>All white, gold buttons, nice understated pockets, even some gold vine patterns on the edges of those shoulder pad things.
>But the biggest standout had to be that little red cape that draped straight from the right shoulder pad down to the waist, with the Dominion insignia in black near the bottom of it.
"Wow."
>"Is it to your liking, Mr. Augustulus?"
"I, uh... yeah, actually."
>It's like what dad wears all the time, except far fucking better.
>His is well-worn and in light gray, with a small selection of medals and no cool thin capes.
>Good luck making him change his suit though, though God only knows this horse would try.
>"Ohh that is so wonderful to hear, darling!"
>Okay, so this horse is also unlike the tailor that shall not be named in that she has actual talent.
>And took, what, only five minutes?
>That's actually kind of impressive, not gonna lie.
>>207452
>Well shit, guess that settles that.
"How much do you want for it?"
>"Ah-ah-ah, absolutely not, Mr. Augustulus! For you, your satisfaction is payment enough!"
>Wait, seriously?
>That can't be good for business.
>Normally this is where you'd be insisting on paying up, but once again Sweetie's look tells you that you've lost that fight before it even began.
>Great.
"Well, if you insist, I guess."
>"Please, come by tomorrow at your earliest convenience, Mr. Augustulus, and I'll have it all ready for you!"
"Sure, just one condition."
>"A-a condition? Whatever would that be?"
>Max persuade, come on.
"My dad is Mr. Augustulus, Ms. Rarity. Just my first name will do."
>Never felt right, stealing his limelight like that.
>Oh God she's getting all teary-eyed.
>"Ohh, h-how very humble of you, sir! I-I didn't realize you felt that way!"
>Well yeah, but not enough for the waterworks!
>"V-very well, if you insist, Mr. Anonymous!"
>Well, you guess it worked out anyway.
"Thanks. No guarantees about tomorrow though, schedule's very touch-and-go."
>"Oh don't worry yourself about that, Mr. Anonymous! Whenever you're free!"
"Alright, sounds good."
>"Aaaaaand that's seven!" Sweetie calls out with the stopwatch in view. "Great job, Rarity!"
>"Wonderful! Ohh, still a ways until six minutes however! Perfection never sleeps!"
>Sheesh, that can't be good for her stress levels.
>"Be a dear and see him out, Sweetie! Thank you for your time today, Mr. Anonymous!"
"Uhh, no problem."
>Is it weird that you actually kinda meant that?
>Sweetie sees you out, where a very unamused twat laid with both folded swimwear and a boxed-up dress floating in her magic.
>"Ah, back already you two?" Twilight calls out.
>"Yeah, it went well," Sweetie replies.
>Bizarrely well.
>"All right then, let's head back everypony!"
>Oh yes please.
>Once again giving your thanks to that capeless hero known as Sweetie, you give your farewells and trudge back to the castle with your water-safe attire in tow.
>"All right," Twilight starts the moment you set foot in the castle, "Both of you get changed and meet back here, okay?"
>"Twilight seriously, I don't want to--"
>"You'll be fine, Flurry."
>Did she just look nervous there for a moment?
"Wait, how far do we have to go for this?"
>"Oh not far, it's the lake just outside the castle."
"Oh, okay. Back in a few."
>That's plenty doable.
>Your cellmate doesn't follow as you head back to your room, and already you find towels and sunscreen laid out on your bed.
>That works.
>Getting into your form-fitting swim shorts has the expected degenerate Chad bulge going on at full throttle, so yeah, fuck that noise with an RGL-220 full of incendiaries.
>Though you do keep the nice shirt on when you switch over to the trunks.
>They're even styled in expectation of that.
>Good shit.
>Heading to the door with towel and lotion in tow, you're met with the door opening to the face of your roommate.
>In the split second you see her face in that moment, she actually looks kinda nervous.
>Then she flips to anger and pushes past you, storming her way to the bathroom.
>Well fuck her too then, you guess.
>Too bad all of your PMS jokes don't work on ponies.
>Anyway, off to the foyer you go.
>Spike and Starlight are already waiting there, and she still looks as disgruntled as ever.
>Whatever.
>Your neighbour comes trotting out in her own swimsuit: a light blue, short-sleeved, form-fitting, full body affair.
>Y'know, that's weird.
>Ponies don't normally wear swimsuits, and both Twilight and that Starlight aren't wearing suits either.
>What's her deal then, more clothes autism?
>"All right everypony, let's head out!" Twilight calls.
>Finally, something you want to take part in!
>The whole group heads on out, and Twilight goes ahead and takes the lead, firing off several beams of magic at the very clear but still obviously artificial lake.
>Even has a sandbar off to one side!
>Man, and people want swimming pools?
>You'd love something like this back at home!
>While everyone does their own thing, you go right ahead and trudge your way into the water with no time to waste.
>If only there were a diving board, but you'll take what you can get.
>Ohh man, it's even all warmed up and everything?
>That must've been from the spells she was shooting at it before!
>Oh fuck yeah boi, this is just what the doctor ordered!
>It doesn't take very long at all for you to hit your stride in the water, going right for the other end of the lake.
>Part of you wishes it was longer, but hey, it's already a hell of a lot longer than the pools back home!
>And isn't chlorinated.
>That helps too.
>A lot.
>Once that first lap has you all warmed up, you really start powering through the laps in the water, trying your damndest to actually wear yourself down for once here.
>Of course, you do stop for a moment on the return laps to take stock of what your unwelcome entourage is up to.
>That Starlight is all cozied up to Spike on a floating bed, only breaking their constant goo-goo eye routine to nuzzle up or kiss.
>Turning swiftly away from the draconic miscegenation hour nets you the sight of Twilight paddling around in the water, beckoning over your cellmate.
>Well, trying to anyways.
>You didn't think much of it on your first lap around.
>The second lap had her up to her knees in the water, Twilight's beckoning never stopping.
>But the third?
>Oh, you had to stop for that one.
>Her wings were spread out and her neck was craned up, doing their very best to stay above the now chest-high water she was standing in.
>It didn't take a politician to figure out she was close to freaking out.
>Nor did it take a swimming enthusiast to figure out what she was about to freak out over.
>Her eyes briefly shoot over to you, and that's apparently enough to make her flip.
>Well shit, guess that settles that.
"How much do you want for it?"
>"Ah-ah-ah, absolutely not, Mr. Augustulus! For you, your satisfaction is payment enough!"
>Wait, seriously?
>That can't be good for business.
>Normally this is where you'd be insisting on paying up, but once again Sweetie's look tells you that you've lost that fight before it even began.
>Great.
"Well, if you insist, I guess."
>"Please, come by tomorrow at your earliest convenience, Mr. Augustulus, and I'll have it all ready for you!"
"Sure, just one condition."
>"A-a condition? Whatever would that be?"
>Max persuade, come on.
"My dad is Mr. Augustulus, Ms. Rarity. Just my first name will do."
>Never felt right, stealing his limelight like that.
>Oh God she's getting all teary-eyed.
>"Ohh, h-how very humble of you, sir! I-I didn't realize you felt that way!"
>Well yeah, but not enough for the waterworks!
>"V-very well, if you insist, Mr. Anonymous!"
>Well, you guess it worked out anyway.
"Thanks. No guarantees about tomorrow though, schedule's very touch-and-go."
>"Oh don't worry yourself about that, Mr. Anonymous! Whenever you're free!"
"Alright, sounds good."
>"Aaaaaand that's seven!" Sweetie calls out with the stopwatch in view. "Great job, Rarity!"
>"Wonderful! Ohh, still a ways until six minutes however! Perfection never sleeps!"
>Sheesh, that can't be good for her stress levels.
>"Be a dear and see him out, Sweetie! Thank you for your time today, Mr. Anonymous!"
"Uhh, no problem."
>Is it weird that you actually kinda meant that?
>Sweetie sees you out, where a very unamused twat laid with both folded swimwear and a boxed-up dress floating in her magic.
>"Ah, back already you two?" Twilight calls out.
>"Yeah, it went well," Sweetie replies.
>Bizarrely well.
>"All right then, let's head back everypony!"
>Oh yes please.
>Once again giving your thanks to that capeless hero known as Sweetie, you give your farewells and trudge back to the castle with your water-safe attire in tow.
>"All right," Twilight starts the moment you set foot in the castle, "Both of you get changed and meet back here, okay?"
>"Twilight seriously, I don't want to--"
>"You'll be fine, Flurry."
>Did she just look nervous there for a moment?
"Wait, how far do we have to go for this?"
>"Oh not far, it's the lake just outside the castle."
"Oh, okay. Back in a few."
>That's plenty doable.
>Your cellmate doesn't follow as you head back to your room, and already you find towels and sunscreen laid out on your bed.
>That works.
>Getting into your form-fitting swim shorts has the expected degenerate Chad bulge going on at full throttle, so yeah, fuck that noise with an RGL-220 full of incendiaries.
>Though you do keep the nice shirt on when you switch over to the trunks.
>They're even styled in expectation of that.
>Good shit.
>Heading to the door with towel and lotion in tow, you're met with the door opening to the face of your roommate.
>In the split second you see her face in that moment, she actually looks kinda nervous.
>Then she flips to anger and pushes past you, storming her way to the bathroom.
>Well fuck her too then, you guess.
>Too bad all of your PMS jokes don't work on ponies.
>Anyway, off to the foyer you go.
>Spike and Starlight are already waiting there, and she still looks as disgruntled as ever.
>Whatever.
>Your neighbour comes trotting out in her own swimsuit: a light blue, short-sleeved, form-fitting, full body affair.
>Y'know, that's weird.
>Ponies don't normally wear swimsuits, and both Twilight and that Starlight aren't wearing suits either.
>What's her deal then, more clothes autism?
>"All right everypony, let's head out!" Twilight calls.
>Finally, something you want to take part in!
>The whole group heads on out, and Twilight goes ahead and takes the lead, firing off several beams of magic at the very clear but still obviously artificial lake.
>Even has a sandbar off to one side!
>Man, and people want swimming pools?
>You'd love something like this back at home!
>While everyone does their own thing, you go right ahead and trudge your way into the water with no time to waste.
>If only there were a diving board, but you'll take what you can get.
>Ohh man, it's even all warmed up and everything?
>That must've been from the spells she was shooting at it before!
>Oh fuck yeah boi, this is just what the doctor ordered!
>It doesn't take very long at all for you to hit your stride in the water, going right for the other end of the lake.
>Part of you wishes it was longer, but hey, it's already a hell of a lot longer than the pools back home!
>And isn't chlorinated.
>That helps too.
>A lot.
>Once that first lap has you all warmed up, you really start powering through the laps in the water, trying your damndest to actually wear yourself down for once here.
>Of course, you do stop for a moment on the return laps to take stock of what your unwelcome entourage is up to.
>That Starlight is all cozied up to Spike on a floating bed, only breaking their constant goo-goo eye routine to nuzzle up or kiss.
>Turning swiftly away from the draconic miscegenation hour nets you the sight of Twilight paddling around in the water, beckoning over your cellmate.
>Well, trying to anyways.
>You didn't think much of it on your first lap around.
>The second lap had her up to her knees in the water, Twilight's beckoning never stopping.
>But the third?
>Oh, you had to stop for that one.
>Her wings were spread out and her neck was craned up, doing their very best to stay above the now chest-high water she was standing in.
>It didn't take a politician to figure out she was close to freaking out.
>Nor did it take a swimming enthusiast to figure out what she was about to freak out over.
>Her eyes briefly shoot over to you, and that's apparently enough to make her flip.
>>207454
>She bolts out of the water with a big flap of her wings, taking a moment to get her breathing steady and her legs to stop shaking once she lands back on solid ground.
>Twilight paddles her way out of the water to help console her, something quickly rebuked with a bat of her wings and an angry yet inaudible screech.
>Yeah, you're gonna dive over for this.
>And that's exactly what you do, taking a breath and submarining over towards the two.
>You crawl your way underwater once you run out of swimming room, eventually poking your head up out of the water.
>Man it is so tough to keep yourself from gasping for air, but in the name of stealth, you manage.
>However, there's now a bunch of new ponies approaching from off in the distance that weren't there before.
>One of them you recognized as that Sweetie Belle from before, the other two being some orange pegasus and a yellow dirt horse.
>Obvious dyke and hick, respectively.
>"Just leave me alone, Twilight!" your cellmate screeches at the horse in question. "I've had enough, just send me home already!"
>"You know I can't do that, Flurry."
>"Yes you can! The train stop's literally right--!"
>"Flurry. This is not up for discussion."
>"Neither was you trying to drown me!"
>Twilight just noticed the approaching trio, and waved over to them.
>"Hi there, girls!"
>"Hey Twilight," they all reply in unison.
>That twat looks relieved to see them at first, but quickly becomes concerned.
>"Wh-what are you three doing here?"
>"Nice tah see yew too," the hick horse deadpans in the most typical yet somehow endearing country voice imaginable.
>"What do you think we're doing here?" the orange horse shoots back in the most typical and very grating sporty dyke voice imaginable. "Hitting the lake, duh!"
>"Sorry if we were interrupting anything," Sweetie apologizes like a total pro. "I just thought you'd want somepony to hang out with here, is all."
>"It's no trouble at all, Sweetie," Twilight chirps. "It's nice to see all of you."
>"Likewise. You too, Anon."
"Yeah, good to see you."
>Sweetie is the only one that doesn't jump upon suddenly realizing you were there, lying in the shore water with your head being the only thing sticking up.
>"What are you doing there?!" your cellmate screeches, the feathers flying from her sudden jump still fluttering through the air.
>"Anon!" Twilight chides, or at least tries to. "How long were you there?"
"Does it matter?"
>Without waiting for her to reply, you stand up to your full height, the cool air chilling the water still trying to drain off of your skin.
>So good.
>Twilight goes ahead and arranges for introductions to happen, all while your cellmate just sits off to the side in a huff, with a foul look and a fouler mood to match.
>Apparently, these three call themselves the Cutie Mark Crusaders.
>You don't ask, they don't tell.
>"So, ahh, Mr. Prince?" that Applebloom asks of you.
"Just Anon's fine."
>"So y'all are here fer a vacation, Mr. Anon?"
"Yeah sure, let's go with that."
>"But it's Hearthswarming."
"In my field, there's no such thing as Hearthswarming breaks."
>But there is such a thing as terrible fucking parents who imprison you with a foreign leader's kid in a foreign leader's territory, but hey, they don't need to know that.
"Funny, thought this place would be covered in snow by now. Just looks like fall to me here so far."
>"Yeah, weather factory's been on strike for the longest time," that ever-so-grating Scootaloo answers. "We only just got things together for the big dump tomorrow, but Winter Wrap-up is only three weeks from then."
>You did remember reading something about that.
"I'm both impressed and disturbed at how a goddamn strike can just stop winter from happening."
>"What, you jealous?"
>Definitely the least favourite of the three.
"I kinda like my weather to take my by surprise."
>"Yeah, that's what she sai-- Ow!"
>Her predictable joke is stopped by a brief hit to the head from Applebloom.
>Can't decide yet if she's second worst or second best.
>"Anyways, I wanted to ask you something Twilight," Sweetie pipes up.
>"Oh, what is it?"
>"Would you mind if we could take Flurry out into town tomorrow? It's been so long, after all..."
>Instantly you can see Twilight's stringent planning autism warring with her obvious friendship with these three in her eyes.
>Yeah, 'Princess of Friendship'?
>You'd have to be retarded to not see what'll win out.
>The princess being spoken about, however, brightens considerably and turns towards the young trio.
>"Ohhhhmygosh, yes please," she groans.
>Hah, you might actually get some time away from--!
>No.
>Anon, come on.
>You know better than this by now.
>"On one condition," Twilight finally says with a small knowing smile. "That you take Anon with you."
>Yep, there it is.
>Fucking knew she'd keikaku you into this somehow.
>"What?!" that dumb cunt shrieks. "Ohh no, no no no no no no! No! He is not coming with me!"
>"Flurry," Twilight once again intones.
>Sweetie's smile is diplomatic as can be, but her eyes betray how much she's enjoying the display.
>Applebloom rolls her eyes like she's seen this shit a million times already, and Scootaloo just snickers at the display.
>"Now, will there be any problems with that, Anon?" Twilight asks.
"Not one," you shoot back.
>You'd expected to be stuck with that stuck-up yet surprisingly redpilled twat horse for a while now.
>Really, the central figure of suffering here is Twilight and company.
>Getting away from her is quite the plus in your book, even if it's only for a day.
>"Then that settles it," she declares. "Oh, you two will be good friends in no time!"
>"Over my dead body," the princess in question grumbles while glaring your way.
>She bolts out of the water with a big flap of her wings, taking a moment to get her breathing steady and her legs to stop shaking once she lands back on solid ground.
>Twilight paddles her way out of the water to help console her, something quickly rebuked with a bat of her wings and an angry yet inaudible screech.
>Yeah, you're gonna dive over for this.
>And that's exactly what you do, taking a breath and submarining over towards the two.
>You crawl your way underwater once you run out of swimming room, eventually poking your head up out of the water.
>Man it is so tough to keep yourself from gasping for air, but in the name of stealth, you manage.
>However, there's now a bunch of new ponies approaching from off in the distance that weren't there before.
>One of them you recognized as that Sweetie Belle from before, the other two being some orange pegasus and a yellow dirt horse.
>Obvious dyke and hick, respectively.
>"Just leave me alone, Twilight!" your cellmate screeches at the horse in question. "I've had enough, just send me home already!"
>"You know I can't do that, Flurry."
>"Yes you can! The train stop's literally right--!"
>"Flurry. This is not up for discussion."
>"Neither was you trying to drown me!"
>Twilight just noticed the approaching trio, and waved over to them.
>"Hi there, girls!"
>"Hey Twilight," they all reply in unison.
>That twat looks relieved to see them at first, but quickly becomes concerned.
>"Wh-what are you three doing here?"
>"Nice tah see yew too," the hick horse deadpans in the most typical yet somehow endearing country voice imaginable.
>"What do you think we're doing here?" the orange horse shoots back in the most typical and very grating sporty dyke voice imaginable. "Hitting the lake, duh!"
>"Sorry if we were interrupting anything," Sweetie apologizes like a total pro. "I just thought you'd want somepony to hang out with here, is all."
>"It's no trouble at all, Sweetie," Twilight chirps. "It's nice to see all of you."
>"Likewise. You too, Anon."
"Yeah, good to see you."
>Sweetie is the only one that doesn't jump upon suddenly realizing you were there, lying in the shore water with your head being the only thing sticking up.
>"What are you doing there?!" your cellmate screeches, the feathers flying from her sudden jump still fluttering through the air.
>"Anon!" Twilight chides, or at least tries to. "How long were you there?"
"Does it matter?"
>Without waiting for her to reply, you stand up to your full height, the cool air chilling the water still trying to drain off of your skin.
>So good.
>Twilight goes ahead and arranges for introductions to happen, all while your cellmate just sits off to the side in a huff, with a foul look and a fouler mood to match.
>Apparently, these three call themselves the Cutie Mark Crusaders.
>You don't ask, they don't tell.
>"So, ahh, Mr. Prince?" that Applebloom asks of you.
"Just Anon's fine."
>"So y'all are here fer a vacation, Mr. Anon?"
"Yeah sure, let's go with that."
>"But it's Hearthswarming."
"In my field, there's no such thing as Hearthswarming breaks."
>But there is such a thing as terrible fucking parents who imprison you with a foreign leader's kid in a foreign leader's territory, but hey, they don't need to know that.
"Funny, thought this place would be covered in snow by now. Just looks like fall to me here so far."
>"Yeah, weather factory's been on strike for the longest time," that ever-so-grating Scootaloo answers. "We only just got things together for the big dump tomorrow, but Winter Wrap-up is only three weeks from then."
>You did remember reading something about that.
"I'm both impressed and disturbed at how a goddamn strike can just stop winter from happening."
>"What, you jealous?"
>Definitely the least favourite of the three.
"I kinda like my weather to take my by surprise."
>"Yeah, that's what she sai-- Ow!"
>Her predictable joke is stopped by a brief hit to the head from Applebloom.
>Can't decide yet if she's second worst or second best.
>"Anyways, I wanted to ask you something Twilight," Sweetie pipes up.
>"Oh, what is it?"
>"Would you mind if we could take Flurry out into town tomorrow? It's been so long, after all..."
>Instantly you can see Twilight's stringent planning autism warring with her obvious friendship with these three in her eyes.
>Yeah, 'Princess of Friendship'?
>You'd have to be retarded to not see what'll win out.
>The princess being spoken about, however, brightens considerably and turns towards the young trio.
>"Ohhhhmygosh, yes please," she groans.
>Hah, you might actually get some time away from--!
>No.
>Anon, come on.
>You know better than this by now.
>"On one condition," Twilight finally says with a small knowing smile. "That you take Anon with you."
>Yep, there it is.
>Fucking knew she'd keikaku you into this somehow.
>"What?!" that dumb cunt shrieks. "Ohh no, no no no no no no! No! He is not coming with me!"
>"Flurry," Twilight once again intones.
>Sweetie's smile is diplomatic as can be, but her eyes betray how much she's enjoying the display.
>Applebloom rolls her eyes like she's seen this shit a million times already, and Scootaloo just snickers at the display.
>"Now, will there be any problems with that, Anon?" Twilight asks.
"Not one," you shoot back.
>You'd expected to be stuck with that stuck-up yet surprisingly redpilled twat horse for a while now.
>Really, the central figure of suffering here is Twilight and company.
>Getting away from her is quite the plus in your book, even if it's only for a day.
>"Then that settles it," she declares. "Oh, you two will be good friends in no time!"
>"Over my dead body," the princess in question grumbles while glaring your way.
>>207457
>As much as you'd like to just never see her again, that's not an option here.
>But you'll be damned if you're going to make it an easy win for fucking dad.
>"Well, I think we've got about another hour left down here before we'll head back!"
"Fine by me."
>Today's been really good, all things considered.
>"Sure you don't want to go for another swim, Flurr--?"
>"NO."
"More for me, then."
>Off into the water you wade.
>"Hey Anon," that Scootaloo calls out, wading out along with you. "Wanna race?"
>Race, huh?
>Yep, there's the fucking competitive glint in her eye.
>You'll abstain from answering for the moment, just to see what she does.
>"What, afraid I'll win?" she continues, getting mighty cocky at an accelerated rate.
"At losing? Absolutely."
>She recoils a little, surprised at getting the shade thrown right back at her.
"Aww, what's wrong? Lost your nerve already?"
>"N-no! I'm just--"
"Admiring what peak performance looks like? Well, try not to stare."
>"Ohh it's on now, your majesty!"
"That has yet to be seen."
...
>The door to your bedroom flies open.
>Whew, what a day!
>New digs for tomorrow, got your swim on, and wouldn't you know it, Twilight's night 'activity' for the day was a movie night.
>Unfortunately, Starlight got to pick the movie after you and your roommate both suggested The Griffon Centipede and An Arimaspi Film as candidates.
>Not your fault she's a thin-skinned pleb who can't appreciate high art.
>But when she picked, oh boy was she picking to spite you.
>So of course she picked Scaled, and continued her couple routine with Spike all throughout just like when they were on the water.
>Twilight of course made you stay put and suffer through it, something Starlight always made sure to shoot evil little grins your way about.
>At least the home theatre here was bitching, and sported a proper oil popcorn machine.
>Dinner was lighter as a result but oh boy was it so much better.
>Both in substance and in show.
>Your cellmate opted to take over cooking the meat this time around, and unlike Starlight she wasn't afraid to sample the goods herself.
>You mean, ponies never eating meat was always kind of a meme, but them disliking it is not.
>Acquired taste, you think it was, and something about every horse race except mud horses being whole protein intolerant.
>Most ponies being allergic to soy will never not be funny to you.
>Anyway, she was super eager to show off her meat eating abilities by doling out some of her pulled pork for herself.
>It shames you to say that it was fucking amazing.
>Okay, new train of thought, stat.
>To the shower you go, where the memory of destroying that Scootaloo in that swimming race comes back to you.
>Ponies swim slower than humans, so you weren't sure where that confidence of hers was coming from.
>Turns out she had this actually pretty neat trick where she buzzed her somewhat small wings such that it propelled her forward, using her legs to keep her afloat and steer.
>As neat as it was, and as fast as she went at first, her endurance problems became apparent once she reached the halfway mark.
>After that, you were the victor by a considerable margin.
>God, you still remember her grumbling about a rematch as she left.
>Heh.
>She's welcome to keep trying.
>Man, today's been great.
>Please for the love of God say that tomorrow will be like this.
>For once, can things go well for you?
>Please?
>Once you're out of the shower and ready for bed, you're stopped by your frowning roommate.
>"Do not fuck tomorrow up for me."
"Don't fuck it up for you? I'd prefer if tomorrow didn't fuck up at all."
>"I'm serious, asshole. I haven't spent any time with them this last year."
"Lemmie guess, old friends of yours or something?"
>"None of your damn business."
"So that's a yes, then."
>"You say that like it's some kind of big secret."
"Fair point, but then why get all snippy about it?"
>"Oh whatever," she snorts.
"By the way," you start, unable to believe these words are coming out of your mouth, "Nice job on the food tonight."
>Yeah, she blinks a little bit, as disbelieving as you are that you just said that.
>"Uhh, thanks?"
"If only breakfast could be so fuck-up free."
>"Okay, what's with you all of a sudden? Don't tell me you're actually starting to enjoy staying here?"
"Hell yes I'm enjoying it. My fucking dad's not breathing down my neck for once. I can't remember the last time that happened."
>"Did you forget about the part where we're fucking locked up here?" she shoots back, her volume rising.
"I've got no control over the situation as it is. Why not enjoy what little the ride's got to offer?"
>"What's your fucking--? Augh, whatever!" she snorts. "Just shut up and go to sleep, and so help me Epona, if you fuck this up...!"
"Yeah yeah, you'll use your daddy issues powers against me. I'm shaking."
>"Mind projecting a little less, princey-pie? You're dazzling me over here."
"You really need to stop stealing my schtick. Now if you don't mind, listen close the sound of me hitting the sack."
>And hit the sack you do.
>"Oh my fucking sweet merciful Epona you're the fucking worst and I hate you!"
"Sorry, did you want me to go to sleep, or did you want to talk? Pick one and only one."
>She screeches, but doesn't do anything but grumble less than flattering shit about you after that.
>About the only thing you do hear from her after that is her bed creaking from being jumped on.
>You meanwhile are feeling too damn good to care.
>Only thing that's missing is being able to break this impromptu nofap streak.
>In fact, that and the good vibes are the only things keeping you awake for longer than you'd like.
>Soon enough, Anon, soon enough.
>Once you're home.
>Once the pony thots are gone.
>Before you know it, you nod off to sleep.
...
>As much as you'd like to just never see her again, that's not an option here.
>But you'll be damned if you're going to make it an easy win for fucking dad.
>"Well, I think we've got about another hour left down here before we'll head back!"
"Fine by me."
>Today's been really good, all things considered.
>"Sure you don't want to go for another swim, Flurr--?"
>"NO."
"More for me, then."
>Off into the water you wade.
>"Hey Anon," that Scootaloo calls out, wading out along with you. "Wanna race?"
>Race, huh?
>Yep, there's the fucking competitive glint in her eye.
>You'll abstain from answering for the moment, just to see what she does.
>"What, afraid I'll win?" she continues, getting mighty cocky at an accelerated rate.
"At losing? Absolutely."
>She recoils a little, surprised at getting the shade thrown right back at her.
"Aww, what's wrong? Lost your nerve already?"
>"N-no! I'm just--"
"Admiring what peak performance looks like? Well, try not to stare."
>"Ohh it's on now, your majesty!"
"That has yet to be seen."
...
>The door to your bedroom flies open.
>Whew, what a day!
>New digs for tomorrow, got your swim on, and wouldn't you know it, Twilight's night 'activity' for the day was a movie night.
>Unfortunately, Starlight got to pick the movie after you and your roommate both suggested The Griffon Centipede and An Arimaspi Film as candidates.
>Not your fault she's a thin-skinned pleb who can't appreciate high art.
>But when she picked, oh boy was she picking to spite you.
>So of course she picked Scaled, and continued her couple routine with Spike all throughout just like when they were on the water.
>Twilight of course made you stay put and suffer through it, something Starlight always made sure to shoot evil little grins your way about.
>At least the home theatre here was bitching, and sported a proper oil popcorn machine.
>Dinner was lighter as a result but oh boy was it so much better.
>Both in substance and in show.
>Your cellmate opted to take over cooking the meat this time around, and unlike Starlight she wasn't afraid to sample the goods herself.
>You mean, ponies never eating meat was always kind of a meme, but them disliking it is not.
>Acquired taste, you think it was, and something about every horse race except mud horses being whole protein intolerant.
>Most ponies being allergic to soy will never not be funny to you.
>Anyway, she was super eager to show off her meat eating abilities by doling out some of her pulled pork for herself.
>It shames you to say that it was fucking amazing.
>Okay, new train of thought, stat.
>To the shower you go, where the memory of destroying that Scootaloo in that swimming race comes back to you.
>Ponies swim slower than humans, so you weren't sure where that confidence of hers was coming from.
>Turns out she had this actually pretty neat trick where she buzzed her somewhat small wings such that it propelled her forward, using her legs to keep her afloat and steer.
>As neat as it was, and as fast as she went at first, her endurance problems became apparent once she reached the halfway mark.
>After that, you were the victor by a considerable margin.
>God, you still remember her grumbling about a rematch as she left.
>Heh.
>She's welcome to keep trying.
>Man, today's been great.
>Please for the love of God say that tomorrow will be like this.
>For once, can things go well for you?
>Please?
>Once you're out of the shower and ready for bed, you're stopped by your frowning roommate.
>"Do not fuck tomorrow up for me."
"Don't fuck it up for you? I'd prefer if tomorrow didn't fuck up at all."
>"I'm serious, asshole. I haven't spent any time with them this last year."
"Lemmie guess, old friends of yours or something?"
>"None of your damn business."
"So that's a yes, then."
>"You say that like it's some kind of big secret."
"Fair point, but then why get all snippy about it?"
>"Oh whatever," she snorts.
"By the way," you start, unable to believe these words are coming out of your mouth, "Nice job on the food tonight."
>Yeah, she blinks a little bit, as disbelieving as you are that you just said that.
>"Uhh, thanks?"
"If only breakfast could be so fuck-up free."
>"Okay, what's with you all of a sudden? Don't tell me you're actually starting to enjoy staying here?"
"Hell yes I'm enjoying it. My fucking dad's not breathing down my neck for once. I can't remember the last time that happened."
>"Did you forget about the part where we're fucking locked up here?" she shoots back, her volume rising.
"I've got no control over the situation as it is. Why not enjoy what little the ride's got to offer?"
>"What's your fucking--? Augh, whatever!" she snorts. "Just shut up and go to sleep, and so help me Epona, if you fuck this up...!"
"Yeah yeah, you'll use your daddy issues powers against me. I'm shaking."
>"Mind projecting a little less, princey-pie? You're dazzling me over here."
"You really need to stop stealing my schtick. Now if you don't mind, listen close the sound of me hitting the sack."
>And hit the sack you do.
>"Oh my fucking sweet merciful Epona you're the fucking worst and I hate you!"
"Sorry, did you want me to go to sleep, or did you want to talk? Pick one and only one."
>She screeches, but doesn't do anything but grumble less than flattering shit about you after that.
>About the only thing you do hear from her after that is her bed creaking from being jumped on.
>You meanwhile are feeling too damn good to care.
>Only thing that's missing is being able to break this impromptu nofap streak.
>In fact, that and the good vibes are the only things keeping you awake for longer than you'd like.
>Soon enough, Anon, soon enough.
>Once you're home.
>Once the pony thots are gone.
>Before you know it, you nod off to sleep.
...
File (): 79D5ECA9166565D5E5B39318CA534FE7-1345181.gif (1.3 MB, 323x254, 1495200092894.gif)
>>207458
I almost, almost gave myself shit for a slow update rate, until I realized just how much I'd written up. I daresay I'm getting my groove for this back on. Take that, winter!
As always, thanks for tuning in, and I'll see you in just a few moments.
I almost, almost gave myself shit for a slow update rate, until I realized just how much I'd written up. I daresay I'm getting my groove for this back on. Take that, winter!
As always, thanks for tuning in, and I'll see you in just a few moments.
File (): 38E8B76B556B8BBA0622AE4696B6E038-131764.png (128.7 KB, 1313x824, 1491163018240.png)
And here we are, finally got around to Pastebinning this story. Have some horrifying degeneracy to go with it.
[align=center]https://pastebin.com/w8GBXQSz[/align]
On the off chance you got lured here from /mlp/, let me be the first to welcome you to /mlpol/. Enjoy your stay, you're here forever.
[align=center]https://pastebin.com/w8GBXQSz[/align]
On the off chance you got lured here from /mlp/, let me be the first to welcome you to /mlpol/. Enjoy your stay, you're here forever.
>>207477
Yeah, you lured me here. Good story. Please keep plugging the update over there and updating the bin. I can't stay. Not that I don't appreciate the thread's porn but it's too much to safely browse on my phone while on break.
Yeah, you lured me here. Good story. Please keep plugging the update over there and updating the bin. I can't stay. Not that I don't appreciate the thread's porn but it's too much to safely browse on my phone while on break.
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I have come back from the grave to continue my bumping duties.
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>>211298
Normally I'd ask you to say the magic word, but I might as well to make up a little for the days I missed.
Normally I'd ask you to say the magic word, but I might as well to make up a little for the days I missed.
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File (): DB7ACDF6BDEBF214059384298320E5F3-2580642.png (2.5 MB, 2415x1900, 1988249.png)
File (): 81776B0A5E15E10CFF4CCF53B6FFDB1F-1420966.png (1.4 MB, 2048x1952, 1986148__explicit_artist-colon-ritter_derpy hooves_anatomically correct_anus_blushing_dildo_dildo sitting_dock_ear fluff_eyes closed_fema.png)
File (): E0090DCB50EF60E50DB97AE25CF19260-1515682.png (1.4 MB, 2000x2000, 1986124__explicit_artist-colon-ritter_limestone pie_anatomically correct_anus_blushing_dock_earth pony_female_grin_heart eyes_limestonebu.png)
File (): D290498E6C8E4A1DFD8F6779FBF2DCB5-1710351.png (1.6 MB, 1894x2110, 1986128__explicit_artist-colon-ritter_pear butter_ahegao_blowjob_blushing_cum_earth pony_female_flower_implied bright mac_male_mare_media.png)
Today's bump will feature the artistic works of Ritter.
File (): FB96A712A1F109D51E5CD4A2BA38EA68-1443615.png (1.4 MB, 1920x1080, 1988982__explicit_artist-colon-infrayellow_rainbow dash_alternate hairstyle_blowjob_faceless male_female_human_human on pony action_human.png)
File (): B0149193E6A4CDFEFE25381D9EDFE509-1500858.gif (1.4 MB, 600x606, 1988986__explicit_artist-colon-tentacle-dash-muffins_trixie_animated_clitoral stimulation_penetration_salivating_sex_tentacle blowjob_ten.gif)
File (): 6CF6330A01BEA86AABFADA61A34F05D2-1867210.png (1.8 MB, 2278x1828, 1988925__explicit_artist-colon-cutelewds_cinder glow_summer flare_anatomically correct_anus_blushing_clitoris_crotchboobs_dock_kirin_leon.png)
File (): 1DE771E5FAFA95C734E8AA5C7DB7899D-117287.jpg (114.5 KB, 1550x1400, 1982984__explicit_artist-colon-mirtash_artist-colon-mirta_sh_oc_aftersex_blowjob_cum_cute_cute porn_female_heart eyes_horsecock_mare_nudi.jpg)
File (): 6191C7F893AF4E0EB419CBA4FE1309DD-173490.jpg (169.4 KB, 2100x1545, 1983023__explicit_artist-colon-mirtash_artist-colon-mirta_sh_oc_aftersex_couch_cum_female_horsecock_hotdogging_male_mare_nudity_pegasus_p.jpg)
File (): 51832FC256DDB0F0FC2E6EE8A96613EA-1621078.png (1.5 MB, 1076x1400, 1985615__explicit_artist-colon-ventious_oc_oc-colon-looic_oc only_oc-colon-shadow blue_anatomically correct_anus_balls_bath_bathroom_bath.png)
Wow... I scroll through this whole thread and there's almost none of my art here, like maybe 1 picture and that's it.
I thought I was more popular than that, god damn.
There's even worse artist's work being posted here.
What on earth did I do wrong to go under the radar this much?
I thought I was more popular than that, god damn.
There's even worse artist's work being posted here.
What on earth did I do wrong to go under the radar this much?
File (): BE157A3B5ABE07E37FC4C62B01B9ACCD-247516.png (241.7 KB, 644x745, a cunt all yer life.png)
File (): 79F9CD31A2DE50996B296915DE843E83-302157.jpg (295.1 KB, 2660x2000, 1978992.jpeg)
File (): F1B2BEC958CAD9C707CCC35B6D44572D-1751467.png (1.7 MB, 1400x1394, zippysqrlcomm.png)
File (): 266D2A904AB2209F72F4562CF69F3377-1513793.png (1.4 MB, 1695x2072, berthday.png)
p00sy
File (): 8FBE659248956F6394838A45E223A324-638819.jpg (623.8 KB, 1893x2000, 1780301.jpeg)
File (): 928A71337A15771BF1BF1D34B1C757AD-6323259.png (6.0 MB, 2266x1720, MEGA_FUCK_1_.png)
File (): F4DA9FC27B6C5281C91CFC5C28FE0462-625968.png (611.3 KB, 1280x1311, tumblr_phy8737Fib1sfogzao3_1280.png)
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File (): 541756EE82119ED8FB900F1AEE2EDCBB-622173.png (607.6 KB, 1498x1232, 2373063_SugarlessPaints_str-g.png)
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File (): E503B2FD18467A63CD099FADD0EC15DA-354294.png (346.0 KB, 1369x1746, 1552107932581.png)
File (): 3B7C7A59EC73FF76ED2D7F079EAA7554-112500.jpg (109.9 KB, 1319x820, Spoilered)
File (): D454F5ACF7C0C00042EF7F2F577FB82F-3840506.png (3.7 MB, 3020x3020, 1978322__explicit_artist-colon-renderpoint_oc_oc-colon-moonbow_oc-colon-render point_balls_blowjob_body markings_cum_cum in mouth_deepthr.png)
File (): 4CC20E2F590F892615C1720F3A4AAA03-542390.png (529.7 KB, 1164x1168, 1984310__explicit_artist-colon-tinkponypie_oc_oc-colon-rey_oc-colon-tender rose_against wall_ahegao_anus_balls_bipedal_blushing_cum_cummi.png)
File (): A5DF02FE5E815C47073EE7910635F74B-1074845.png (1.0 MB, 3000x3000, 1989404__explicit_artist-colon-aurorafang_oc_oc-colon-libby belle_oc only_blushing_chair_chest fluff_clothes_cufflinks_desk_dialogue_dock.png)
>>212851
I normally just look for whatever has been recently added to Derpi when looking for bump material. Sometimes I'll stumble across a tag or an artist tag and find enough from that to make a themed bump, but mostly it's just random images. If you care that much, it would help to at least give a name or an example of your work, if you want to see more of your stuff represented here.
I normally just look for whatever has been recently added to Derpi when looking for bump material. Sometimes I'll stumble across a tag or an artist tag and find enough from that to make a themed bump, but mostly it's just random images. If you care that much, it would help to at least give a name or an example of your work, if you want to see more of your stuff represented here.
>>212946
But then it would be a result of shilling myself, which is cheating.
I guess it would help if I posted more frequently, but for the past year or so my post frequency has been fairly low due to being busy with not-art stuff, and the fact that a lot of my stuff can take a while to produce means I'm pretty spread out and infrequent. Shrug.
If I'd give any kind of hint to who I am, it'd be to go lookin' through the deepthroat tag, and post more of that stuff in here, cus it is
But then it would be a result of shilling myself, which is cheating.
I guess it would help if I posted more frequently, but for the past year or so my post frequency has been fairly low due to being busy with not-art stuff, and the fact that a lot of my stuff can take a while to produce means I'm pretty spread out and infrequent. Shrug.
If I'd give any kind of hint to who I am, it'd be to go lookin' through the deepthroat tag, and post more of that stuff in here, cus it is
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>>213088
So, I guess you don't care that much, then. Anyways, you have good taste in porn, so here's some of the S U C C for ya.
So, I guess you don't care that much, then. Anyways, you have good taste in porn, so here's some of the S U C C for ya.
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File (): 26E64DB9A0D78EA9315E749A97C2CF56-558569.gif (545.5 KB, 935x643, 1735799__explicit_artist-colon-馬文_princess celestia_alicorn_animated_blowjob_blushing_clothes_deepthroat_drool_female_gif_glazed dick_h.gif)
File (): 6114CA7021A53CA139CF4F2B1F70175E-16631052.gif (15.9 MB, 1200x1080, 1577422__explicit_artist-colon-elzzombie_artist-colon-htpot_rainbow dash_adorasexy_animated_blowjob_blushing_cute_cute porn_deepthroat_fe.gif)
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File (): 1D6F0F4E59236887B643E339DB1AF2DD-675031.png (659.2 KB, 750x750, 1992736__explicit_artist-colon-lumineko_nightmare moon_alicorn_anatomically correct_anus_female_magic_mare_nightmare moonbutt_nudity_pony.png)
File (): B7F7FC59A88219B4B28079FE7484C9E8-244870.png (239.1 KB, 1173x840, 1992724__explicit_artist-colon-rabidpepper_pear butter_anatomically correct_anus_crotchboobs_dock_earth pony_female_flower_flower in hair.png)
I'm alive? Had to refocus on life, and unplugged from the 'Net for a good couple of weeks. Very relaxing shit, I highly recommend it. You don't realize how high-strung you are until you unplug, let me tell you.
Updates slated to resume Sometime In The Future™.
>>211292
Had me worried there old chum, thought you were deader than me. Good to see you back.
>>207733
Always happy to hear I've got someone's attention. I aim to please, and continue such pleasing.
>>207600
Hope you're still lurking around, Anon. I've seen your particular style of posts for the better part of over a year now, and I'd be lying if I wasn't flattered by the dedication.
Updates slated to resume Sometime In The Future™.
>>211292
Had me worried there old chum, thought you were deader than me. Good to see you back.
>>207733
Always happy to hear I've got someone's attention. I aim to please, and continue such pleasing.
>>207600
Hope you're still lurking around, Anon. I've seen your particular style of posts for the better part of over a year now, and I'd be lying if I wasn't flattered by the dedication.
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Wait shit, I'm supposed to bumpchad this shit, not attention whore like this is my fucking blog. Excuse me while I rectify this situation with prime waifu material.
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Being sick sucks. At least I'm back to bump this thread again.
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These first three images...Mkogwheel, you glorious bastard you.
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i'm doing my part!
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>>218379
I typically try to avoid posting male on futa or futa on male in the thread, mostly because I know most people in this thread don't like it. More power to ya if you like that sort of thing, I guess, but I'd recommend making a separate thread for maracock instead of posting it here.
I typically try to avoid posting male on futa or futa on male in the thread, mostly because I know most people in this thread don't like it. More power to ya if you like that sort of thing, I guess, but I'd recommend making a separate thread for maracock instead of posting it here.
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>>218764
Females.
Unless you're gay and/or self-inserting, idk what the appeal is to watching things being inserted into males.
Females.
Unless you're gay and/or self-inserting, idk what the appeal is to watching things being inserted into males.
Due to the latest episode can we get some shining on twilight?
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I have failed in my duties.
Anyways, here's what I could find of Chrysalis oviposition, and I'll post some ShiningSparkle to go along with it.
Anyways, here's what I could find of Chrysalis oviposition, and I'll post some ShiningSparkle to go along with it.
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Today's bump, featuring the adorkable space ponyo.
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Today's bump theme: hoers.
So, I've got some news on the ole story of mine. Good news is that I'm finally, after two months, ready to drop the next update. Thing is, my plans have evolved such that the Biblical part of the couple knowing one another is way, way off in the future. Meaning that sadly it doesn't really fit the thread anymore.
We're about to hit the bumplimit anyways, so I thought I'd just pop in to let you all know that I'll be continuing this in another thread. Certainly doesn't end my involvement with these threads though: I still intend on dropping the shorts as they cross my desk, as well as performing my other God-given bumpchad duties.
>>220950
I know I'll be seeing you in the next thread with all kinds of Flashes, animations, and who knows what else. I said I'd assist, and I aim to.
We're about to hit the bumplimit anyways, so I thought I'd just pop in to let you all know that I'll be continuing this in another thread. Certainly doesn't end my involvement with these threads though: I still intend on dropping the shorts as they cross my desk, as well as performing my other God-given bumpchad duties.
>>220950
I know I'll be seeing you in the next thread with all kinds of Flashes, animations, and who knows what else. I said I'd assist, and I aim to.
File (): 3D507098FBF49B1F11FF3B12CD82FD07-587840.png (574.1 KB, 913x1100, tsundere-filly.png)
>>220953
This might just be a weird personal preference, but I tend to think ongoing stories should be posted separately in their own threads anyway. I think it's easier to keep track of a given story when it's the subject of its own thread, and this board is slow enough that a writefag can maintain a story at his own pace without too much danger of the thread falling out of the catalog. I mostly check this thread for new images and tend to skip past a lot of the green even though I'm sure a lot of it's good. I also find it kind of difficult to keep track of multiple stories in the same thread.
Anyway I noticed the thread, I will give your story a read anon.
This might just be a weird personal preference, but I tend to think ongoing stories should be posted separately in their own threads anyway. I think it's easier to keep track of a given story when it's the subject of its own thread, and this board is slow enough that a writefag can maintain a story at his own pace without too much danger of the thread falling out of the catalog. I mostly check this thread for new images and tend to skip past a lot of the green even though I'm sure a lot of it's good. I also find it kind of difficult to keep track of multiple stories in the same thread.
Anyway I noticed the thread, I will give your story a read anon.
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>>220953
And I'll certainly keep an eye on what else you do in the future. Your smut and non-smut both are legendary.
And I'll certainly keep an eye on what else you do in the future. Your smut and non-smut both are legendary.
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>>221058
>I tend to think ongoing stories should be posted separately in their own threads anyway
I'm of the mind that stories should stick to >prompt threads, that sort of thing. Enough focus to keep a story rooted, and enough latitude to have some variation from different writefags.
>this board is slow enough that a writefag can maintain a story at his own pace without too much danger of the thread falling out of the catalog
Oh I agree, but there's something to be said for feeling the pressure of having to keep a story updated, to beat the battle to the bottom of the catalog, and to not disappoint the bumpers who keep things afloat to read more. 'Twas an amazing motivator, and I was pushing 2, maybe 3 updates a week, just off of pressure alone. Shit was great.
That kind of pressure's one of the things I miss the most from /mlp/, back when the leaks still hadn't dropped. Then again, I also missed having the OG /mlpol/, so hey, swings and roundabouts I guess.
>Anyway I noticed the thread, I will give your story a read anon.
Thanks mane, and do let me know what you think, if you're inclined to do so.
>>221195
Flattery will get you nowhere, but don't stop trying.
>I tend to think ongoing stories should be posted separately in their own threads anyway
I'm of the mind that stories should stick to >prompt threads, that sort of thing. Enough focus to keep a story rooted, and enough latitude to have some variation from different writefags.
>this board is slow enough that a writefag can maintain a story at his own pace without too much danger of the thread falling out of the catalog
Oh I agree, but there's something to be said for feeling the pressure of having to keep a story updated, to beat the battle to the bottom of the catalog, and to not disappoint the bumpers who keep things afloat to read more. 'Twas an amazing motivator, and I was pushing 2, maybe 3 updates a week, just off of pressure alone. Shit was great.
That kind of pressure's one of the things I miss the most from /mlp/, back when the leaks still hadn't dropped. Then again, I also missed having the OG /mlpol/, so hey, swings and roundabouts I guess.
>Anyway I noticed the thread, I will give your story a read anon.
Thanks mane, and do let me know what you think, if you're inclined to do so.
>>221195
Flattery will get you nowhere, but don't stop trying.
File (): BAE62881122C84D491FD916167C5CD78-2428067.png (2.3 MB, 1500x1897, 2035489__explicit_alternate version_artist-colon-evomanaphy_moondancer_sunburst_baubles_blowjob_blushing_book_bookshelf_chest fluff_cloth.png)
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>>221327
I have no idea what you're talking about. I am speaking nothing but the truth, as I have always been.
I have no idea what you're talking about. I am speaking nothing but the truth, as I have always been.
File (): 8EF362B2B754337BBE7D414D952BD6CD-769890.jpg (751.8 KB, 2500x2000, 2032524__explicit_artist-colon-hydrargyrum_oc_oc-colon-noctalia_anus_bat pony_bat pony oc_blushing_cock worship_collar_cum_looking at you.jpg)
File (): 555899565C53BC64CE09D9ED957DA4D4-133322.png (130.2 KB, 1000x1000, 1718803__explicit_artist-colon-khorme_oc_oc-colon-anon_oc only_oc-colon-ultramare_anus_bedroom eyes_clitoris_dialogue_female_human_human .png)
File (): B749133C0DAE70D6596ED60851A3FA49-2232393.png (2.1 MB, 1750x1454, 1662122__explicit_artist-colon-drawsyraccoon_oc_oc-colon-takara_anus_blowjob_clitoris_dock_female_flared_horsecock_licking_licking cock_m.png)
You know, I realized I haven't posted much micro. I don't know why, though. Who wouldn't want a tiny mare (or in the case of #4, a woman) to faun over and worship your dick? Better yet, who wouldn't want to get inside a mare whose pussy you could literally live inside of?
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File (): 3C330C7D5501749B01722A8CAF5B97CC-700001.png (683.6 KB, 1500x1362, 2038544__explicit_artist-colon-an-dash-m_oc_oc-colon-anon_oc-colon-genoveva_oc only_bed_blushing_clothes_crotchboobs_dialogue_earth pony_.png)
File (): 3A5E127CD60F2C6E4983D8B4178B5732-1260565.jpg (1.2 MB, 2560x1440, 2038347__explicit_artist-colon-mysticalpha_derpy hooves_anus_cloud_female_looking at you_looking back_mare_nudity_pegasus_plot_ponut_pony.jpg)
File (): 06485444090B2FE4CC0152D96647B6EE-903822.png (882.6 KB, 1455x1280, 2038331__explicit_artist-colon-whisperfoot_oc_oc-colon-art's desire_oc only_anal_anal insertion_anatomically correct_anus_belly_belly but.png)
File (): 9A384BC42208554F3180A8CC211CB13D-2370793.png (2.3 MB, 2171x2277, 2038213__explicit_artist-colon-alcor_dj pon-dash-3_octavia melody_vinyl scratch_crotchboobs_cunnilingus_dialogue_earth pony_female_lesbia.png)
File (): 43A489340D39C1DA8760DCA26CE71B54-656998.png (641.6 KB, 1000x1600, 2036437__explicit_artist-colon-mrneo_oc_oc-colon-darsee_oc-colon-frost flare_oc only_blushing_cloud_colored_dialogue_female_flat colors_f.png)
File (): B53528692788FDE76DE61E9771B217FF-13542218.webm (12.9 MB, Resolution:1557x1724 Length:00:00:09, 2039016__explicit_artist-colon-deneb_artist-colon-nevobaster_rainbow dash_soarin'_against wall_animated_anus_ass_backwards cutie mark_blushing_butt_c.webm) [play once] [loop]
File (): 80557AF22D3C565013A5BF38755D20FF-569462.png (556.1 KB, 1500x1124, 1998023__explicit_artist-colon-caboni32_rarity_sweet biscuit_anus_clothes_female_flat colors_hooves_human shoulders_macro_micro_nudity_po.png)
File (): 85DFE6702E0696C05ECAF789709198D5-2874310.png (2.7 MB, 2000x2800, 1990784__explicit_artist-colon-noctaliansfw_oc_oc-colon-noctalia_anus_bat pony_bat pony oc_collar_condom_condom filling_condom on penis_c.png)
File (): D4EB69A9756BD14D1EDCF54B35853E3F-155102.png (151.5 KB, 1550x1050, 1945731__explicit_artist-colon-stray prey_oc_oc-colon-lemon frost_oc-colon-lucent_crotchboobs_female_macro_male_micro_nipples_nudity.png)
More micro, because why the hell not?
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File (): EF3D2692B9B0274662934956C8F4F13D-3002601.gif (2.9 MB, 900x730, 2039717__explicit_artist-colon-wolfsam_oc_oc-colon-cotton seams_oc only_against glass_animated_blushing_butt_dildo_earth pony_female_gif_.gif)
File (): 4027DF56B06BAAD0C5E0EFA94D02F415-3429534.png (3.3 MB, 3200x2400, 2040612__explicit_artist-colon-kpvt_oc_oc only_blushing_caption_cum_horsecock_impregnation_nudity_penis_size difference_tongue out.png)
File (): A494E1B6A5DF3DC62142064D1B5672D0-21450608.webm (20.5 MB, Resolution:1280x720 Length:00:01:09, 2040525__explicit_artist-colon-clopician_twilight sparkle_oc_oc-colon-bluprints_3d_ahegao_anatomically correct_animated_bed_blender_canon x oc_clitoris.webm) [play once] [loop]
File (): 4AFF00E883857B8F44FACEDEABE92F36-624848.png (610.2 KB, 750x750, 2041316__explicit_artist-colon-lumineko_bon bon_lyra heartstrings_sweetie drops_anus_blushing_cunnilingus_dildo_doubleheaded dildo_earth .png)
File (): A694A0DA6A27171CC0B38AC8437A6F89-838121.png (818.5 KB, 4000x4000, 2041255__explicit_artist-colon-cloppy hooves_pear butter_afterglow_aftersex_blushing_creampie_cum_cute_cute porn_earth pony_female_flower.png)
File (): C6991A913253F42878AB2490DCF9BD84-2171956.png (2.1 MB, 2000x2000, 2041611.png)
File (): 955848F8B23DC31AFC0DD33211DA83BD-1125645.png (1.1 MB, 1388x1665, 2042399__explicit_artist-colon-pearlyiridescence_dj pon-dash-3_vinyl scratch_anatomically correct_anus_butt_clitoris_dark genitals_dj boo.png)
File (): CA2FE42B4473621279DE6BB7006573D2-11505103.gif (11.0 MB, 1520x1080, 2042392__explicit_artist-colon-fenixdust_artist-colon-htpot_rainbow dash_oc_oc-colon-skittle_animated_bed_canon x oc_eyes closed_female_f.gif)
File (): ED7A3BDDFEF2565385BC53995751B207-2212661.png (2.1 MB, 1700x1300, 2042390__explicit_artist-colon-stardep_princess celestia_oc_oc-colon-bizarre song_oc-colon-mozzarella orgy_ahegao_alicorn_blushing_both c.png)
File (): EF967FCECF5FCC7A037F760CABD84853-1015410.png (991.6 KB, 1588x1721, 2042404__explicit_artist-colon-pearlyiridescence_minuette_anatomically correct_anus_both cutie marks_butt_clitoris_dark genitals_dialogue.png)
File (): 0B41180D9868B303B5AD34807CAED8F1-23035586.webm (22.0 MB, Resolution:1280x720 Length:00:00:55, 2042149__explicit_artist-colon-clopician_shining armor_twilight sparkle_3d_ahegao_anatomically correct_animated_anus_bed_clitoris_creampie_crotchboobs_.webm) [play once] [loop]
Might as well post the superior version of #1 in >>222226
File (): 6DC43E869749485BFC1AD39D39966A47-102422.jpg (100.0 KB, 863x1199, 2042828.jpeg)
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File (): 6DB8806B86EF52BD125469C4507DE027-3076085.png (2.9 MB, 2000x1500, 2043451__explicit_artist-colon-noctaliansfw_oc_oc-colon-loki smile_oc-colon-melody smile_oc-colon-noctalia_anal_anal creampie_anus_bat po.png)
File (): 9FC3930AB7CA1E17475A7A1EA3E97D16-3843639.png (3.7 MB, 3000x2000, 2041695__explicit_artist-colon-mercurial64_oc_oc only_oc-colon-queen polistae_anatomically correct_anus_butt_cave_changeling_changeling o.png)
File (): 99DBE1DC9EFE367F3CEADFD600934BC0-2799547.png (2.7 MB, 2364x2000, 2024107__explicit_artist-colon-mercurial64_oc_oc only_oc-colon-queen scarlet_anatomically correct_anus_cave_changeling_changeling oc_chan.png)
File (): C28D478E5DAA0CB3D236F2018190FF59-5997725.webm (5.7 MB, Resolution:822x1024 Length:00:00:11, 2036703__explicit_alternate version_artist-colon-justisanimation_artist-colon-shutterflyeqd_stellar flare_2 handfuls of dat ass_animated_back_bedroom e.webm) [play once] [loop]
>>222511
I had been checking Shino's artist tag for so long, waiting for his next piece to post to the thread, and you beat me to it. Well played, sir.
I had been checking Shino's artist tag for so long, waiting for his next piece to post to the thread, and you beat me to it. Well played, sir.
File (): CFE7F76797D2ADB5FB576901EB0B6FE7-20193535.webm (19.3 MB, Resolution:1242x982 Length:00:01:15, 2033639__explicit_artist-colon-bnbigus_rarity_anatomically correct_animated_anus_bedroom eyes_blinking_clitoris_dildo_dock_feeling it go in_female_frog.webm) [play once] [loop]
File (): 7A734339ED3F7343845A0C183D2482FA-8175443.png (7.8 MB, 2800x2800, 2044273__explicit_artist-colon-rinikka_oc_oc only_oc-colon-shadow blue_anus_bed_bedroom_bedroom eyes_blushing_bottomless_butt_butt only_c.png)
File (): 1746B50BB579B830606686B5116DA4C7-4061287.png (3.9 MB, 4000x3000, 2044232__explicit_artist-colon-an-dash-tonio_artist-colon-pananovich_derpibooru exclusive_oc_oc-colon-golden brooch_oc-colon-shadowmoon_a.png)
Only 9 more posts until this thread hits the bump limit.
File (): D61B9123DE5B49ED4236C0F7AF62D818-1797920.webm (1.7 MB, Resolution:660x600 Length:00:00:08, 2038192__explicit_artist-colon-t-dot-f-dot-a-dot-n-dot-c-dot-s-dot-_oc_oc-colon-gâteau noir_oc only_oc-colon-skyfly_abdominal bulge_animated_balls.webm) [play once] [loop]
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File (): E805569203E628A32138439F91663859-1076872.png (1.0 MB, 1636x2168, 2045085__explicit_artist-colon-tinkponypie_oc_oc-colon-burning shadow_bed_crotchboobs_female_nipples_nudity_pegasus_pony_solo_solo female.png)
File (): C00BD0F546C5B886E548FD9FAD8D3C2D-294275.png (287.4 KB, 800x1100, 2045425__explicit_artist-colon-llhopell_cinder glow_summer flare_blowjob_blushing_cum_cumming_female_kirin_male_nudity_oral_penis_penis o.png)
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File (): 8D5AB953588BAF1AD5810AA9041774AA-4063579.png (3.9 MB, 2000x3000, 2039937__explicit_artist-colon-neira_oc_oc-colon-cosmic amber_oc only_bell_blowjob_blushing_clothes_collar_dialogue_ear fluff_ethereal ma.png)
File (): 65ECCAB801E0FB85D67B63663DC70304-3286279.png (3.1 MB, 2732x2048, 2046862__explicit_artist-colon-alphadesu_oc_oc-colon-chosen heart_oc-colon-crushingvictory_oc only_accident_blushing_crotchboobs_crystal .png)
File (): 401B4320042557F13C8D3DA6480069B9-4273915.png (4.1 MB, 6000x4000, 2046777__explicit_artist-colon-ev04kaa_princess celestia_princess luna_alicorn_anus_butt_clitoris_female_females only_moonbutt_nudity_plo.png)
File (): 1B2A535F1B3783B4F93D6DEB2EEE9759-22338.png (21.8 KB, 1342x1276, 2046687__explicit_artist-colon--fwslash-d-fwslash-non_princess celestia_oc_oc-colon-anon_between dark and dawn_spoiler-colon-s09e13_alico.png)
File (): 49A39DC914500D5C202F14405A3345E2-1167453.png (1.1 MB, 3200x2734, 2047353__explicit_artist-colon-diego mendez_oc_oc-colon-violet crystal_anus_crystal_dock_female_nudity_penetration_pony_sex_solo_solo fem.png)
File (): 36067AD3F59BF49CB2A87565B7343BCF-218865.jpg (213.7 KB, 2000x2000, 2047352__explicit_alternate version_artist-colon-dogg_oc_oc-colon-inky_oc only_bat pony_bat pony oc_bed_female_nudity_pony_solo_solo fema.jpg)
File (): 5660BFAB73A930A537CBB22F6F7D05CE-3422543.png (3.3 MB, 2162x1273, 2047327__explicit_artist-colon-sugarlesspaints_lyra heartstrings_sunset shimmer_ahegao_blushing_butt_crack shipping_cunnilingus_female_fr.png)
File (): 89DCFD291652DF464A279B9E83AB9E9E-3535533.png (3.4 MB, 2431x3000, 2047891__explicit_artist-colon-shinodage_sunset shimmer_anatomically correct_anus_beach umbrella_clothes_dock_female_nudity_ponut_pony_sk.png)
File (): FFA3434B539AC045918879B7BAB4252D-1869227.png (1.8 MB, 2048x2732, 2047977__explicit_artist-colon-negasun_oc_oc-colon-icy breeze_oc only_anatomically correct_anus_bat pony_bat pony oc_bed_blushing_butt_cl.png)
File (): 8EF45CE50930851F05AF6C8207889ABE-528556.png (516.2 KB, 3296x2584, 2047851__explicit_artist-colon-badumsquish_derpibooru exclusive_oc_oc only_oc-colon-tremble_anus_bed_blushing_butt_curtain_draw me like o.png)
File (): 3DD3F854DF9AF946AA9800020851D156-599114.jpg (585.1 KB, 2320x2450, 1166719__explicit_artist-colon-anibaruthecat_oc_oc-colon-minty parfait_oc only_bed_blushing_changeling_female_filly_foalcon_licking_licking lips_nudity.jpg)
File (): F9E1647E7BF7048ADC58212900A74F20-590738.jpg (576.9 KB, 1100x1316, 1472921__explicit_artist-colon-darkstylerz_queen chrysalis_abdominal bulge_ahegao_bedroom eyes_blushing_bondage_bow_changeling_colored pupils_creampie_.jpeg)
>>223030
It's changeling art like this that makes me miss their old forms even more. Why did they have to become gay moose hippies and not stay as adorable bugs that just need love. Anyway have some more love bug pussy to keep this relevant
>>223279
Nigel you do know this is supposed to be a horse pussy thread and at least post something that's not a thumbnail
It's changeling art like this that makes me miss their old forms even more. Why did they have to become gay moose hippies and not stay as adorable bugs that just need love. Anyway have some more love bug pussy to keep this relevant
>>223279
Nigel you do know this is supposed to be a horse pussy thread and at least post something that's not a thumbnail
File (): 9A9FF0425715EC4549C50E30AA19AD11-4981909.gif (4.8 MB, 434x600, 2034165__explicit_artist-colon-whateverbender_oc_oc-colon-caulifla_oc only_anatomically correct_animated_anus_areola_bed_bedroom_bedroom .gif)
File (): 8BA70FBDE3BB5FE81E26BE41A4E9755B-1329590.png (1.3 MB, 2146x2258, 2033517__explicit_artist-colon-php72_oc_oc only_oc-colon-princess amanita_changeling_cowgirl_female_male_penetration_sex_simple backgroun.png)
File (): 460C7D4A0D3CB1C569E7D1E20DEC845D-792189.png (773.6 KB, 1276x1017, 2013474__explicit_artist-colon-appelknekten_queen chrysalis_abstract background_anus_bugbutt_changeling_crotchboobs_female_mare_nipples_n.png)
File (): AEC0B484338D5F0085855289713A4CF0-16489.png (16.1 KB, 1250x800, 2048559__explicit_artist-colon-threetwotwo32232_ocellus_anus_blushing_changeling_dock_face down ass up_female_floppy ears_mare_nudity_pon.png)
File (): B90620DBD8E443961DD74A196FCBC4BD-1428266.png (1.4 MB, 1280x825, 2049502__explicit_artist-colon-hioshiru_lord tirek_queen chrysalis_frenemies (episode)_spoiler-colon-s09e08_blowjob_changeling_changeling.png)
File (): 2ED98491F454FFBD2D84D86977E90879-1829311.png (1.7 MB, 2337x2380, 2046786__explicit_alternate version_artist-colon-neighday_big macintosh_fluttershy_fake it 'til you make it_alternate hairstyle_anal_anal.png)
Only one more to go.
File (): 612F53F529CC64CCF909B8243B0BE0C2-202279.png (197.5 KB, 1323x1200, 1837614__explicit_artist-colon-whydomenhavenipples_oc_oc-colon-knight pone_oc only_anatomically correct_angel_breast milk_clitoris_crotch.png)
File (): 6AB703DBE7878BFCE58C5B7A35B26F44-17597292.webm (16.8 MB, Resolution:850x1080 Length:00:00:24, 2052795__explicit_artist-colon-htpot_artist-colon-itsmeelement_rainbow dash_anatomically correct_animated_anus_bedroom eyes_blushing_clitoris_clothes_c.webm) [play once] [loop]
File (): BD888B72E05E2F21699CA0A782BD3E42-429688.jpg (419.6 KB, 1280x933, 2052763__explicit_artist-colon-longinius_princess celestia_anus_bell_bell collar_belly_belly button_big belly_big crotchboobs_breast milk.jpg)
And that should be it! I'll see you guys in the next thread!
File (): 899EAF6DB9C3CF3CD4D19AC1ECC7091F-1933914.png (1.8 MB, 2200x2500, 2092137__explicit_artist-c….png)
Bringing it back!
>>232843
>>233356
Hey, appreciate you guys trying to bump this thread, but it hit the bump limit a couple months ago. There's a newer thread at >>223714 →
>>233356
Hey, appreciate you guys trying to bump this thread, but it hit the bump limit a couple months ago. There's a newer thread at >>223714 →
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